Oh-So-Sensible Secretary (17 page)

‘It depends what you mean by affair,’ said Phin, picking his words with care.

‘I mean sex with no strings,’ I said adamantly. ‘I don’t want to tie you down. I’ve learnt my lesson. I want being with you to be about having fun, being reckless, not thinking about the future or commitment or anything.’

‘Oh,’ said Phin.

‘That’s what you want, isn’t it?’

‘The thing is, I’m not sure I do.’

I stared at him.

‘I think,’ he said, ‘that I’ve changed my mind.’

My heart did a horrible flip-flop, leaving me feeling sick. ‘Oh,’ I said, drawing my hand out of his. ‘Oh, I see. I understand.’

But I didn’t. I didn’t understand at all. I had just let myself believe that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Why had he changed his mind?

Phin took my hand firmly back. ‘I’m fairly sure you
don’t
see, Summer. For someone so sharp, you can be very dense sometimes! I haven’t changed my mind about you, you idiot. I’ve changed it about commitment. I’ve spent my whole life running away from the very idea of it,’ he admitted, ‘but that was because I had never found anyone or anything that was worth committing to. Now there’s you, and it’s all changed. It was all I could think about on the boat. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the sailing, but this time I wanted you to come home to. I wanted to know that you would always be there.

‘So I’m afraid,’ he said, with a show of regret, ‘that if you want to have an affair with me you’re going to have to marry me. I know you’re just interested in my body, but I’m so in
love with you, Summer. Say you’ll marry me and always be there for me.’

I looked back into those blue, blue eyes, and the expression I saw there squeezed my heart with a mixture of joy and relief so acute it was painful. I was perilously close to tears even as exhilarating, intoxicating happiness bubbled along my veins like champagne. It was like stumbling unexpectedly into paradise after a long, hard journey. It was too much, too wonderful. I could hardly take it in.

Unable to tell Phin how I felt, I reverted to joking instead.

‘But what about my fantasy to seduce you?’ I pretended to pout. ‘I was so determined that I was going to live dangerously. You can’t have an affair with your own fiancé!’

‘If you want to be reckless, let’s get married straight away,’ said Phin.

‘I don’t think Lex would like that very much. He’s running out of suitable PAs.’

‘He’d be furious,’ Phin agreed, and grinned wickedly at me. ‘Let’s do it anyway.’

I pretended to consider. ‘I still don’t get to have an affair,’ I pointed out.

‘How about we don’t get engaged until tomorrow?’ he suggested. ‘Then you can have your wicked way with me tonight with no commitment at all. But I’m warning you—that’s it,’ he said with mock sternness as he pulled me down beneath him. ‘One night is all you’re going to get, and you won’t even have that unless you say yes. So, just how badly do you want an affair, my little cream puff?’

‘Very badly,’ I said, a smile trembling on my lips.

‘Badly enough to stick with me for ever after tonight?’

‘Well, if I must…’ I sighed contentedly.

Phin bent his head until his mouth was almost touching
mine. ‘So here’s the deal. You seduce me to your heart’s content tonight, and then we get married.’

‘I get to do whatever I want with you?’

‘It’s your fantasy,’ he agreed. ‘I’m all yours. And tomorrow you’re all mine.’ He smiled. ‘Do we have a deal?’

Well, it would have been rude to say no, wouldn’t it?

I put my arms around his neck and pulled him into a long, sweet kiss. ‘It’s a deal,’ I promised.

‘Good,’ said Phin, satisfied. ‘Now, about this fantasy of yours…where are you going to start?’

I took hold of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head. ‘I’ll show you.’