Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) (18 page)

“Do you guys want to head back to our house?” Ryan spoke up. He looked at me. “Mom and Dad are gone to Roberta and Mo’s till who knows what time.”

I shrugged. “Sure.”  It was ten o’clock and Ryan was right, Mom and Dad would play pitch there till at least midnight or after. Ali was all about doing whatever Ryan wanted to so she eagerly agreed. Zach seemed to approve as well.

The house was cold and Ali and Ryan hung out with us for a bit before he asked if she wanted to see his room. Ali had been to my house a thousand times and seen it all, including his room. She bit her lip and smiled as he held her hand walking up the stairs.
              “Hey, Ali,” I shouted after.

“Don’t. She’s going to do what she wants,” Zach responded.

“I know.”  I gave up. “Whatever. Want a drink?”

He shook his Starbucks glass.

I threw a quilt over our laps and he flipped channels. I tried to get my mind off what was about to happen upstairs. My hands were cold and he rubbed his on top of mine creating friction. My head rested on his chest as we watched TV. His heart beat slow and steady and I paced it to mine. I closed my eyes hoping to stay in this moment forever.

My cheek fit perfectly into the crevice between his chest muscles. With my fingers, I traced the outline of his face, feeling where he had shaved. When I touched his mouth, he held my hand and kissed each finger. I giggled, stole his hand for a moment, and reciprocated his
action.  Then, he lifted me by my underarms and pulled me up until our lips met and mine melted into his. His breath, intoxicating.

Supporting my neck like a baby’s, he rested my head on the sofa as he twisted me around lifting me ‘til my legs dangled behind his knees. He brushed the hair from my face and swept his thumb across my cheekbone till his fingers reached my hair. Wrapping his hand around my head, he crushed his lips to mine then moved to my ear and down my neck. He treated my throat to small kisses as his hand rubbed down my sternum and over my stomach.  My left boob was bigger than my right, though neither were big at all. And I didn’t have cleavage, not really, so I tried to push myself together with my arms as he lingered near my bra. This was the furthest I’d ever been with a guy. A dull ache built in the pit of my stomach.

“Zach.” I’m not sure why I whispered his name. I wanted exactly what he was doing. Being a gentleman, he raised his head and stared down at me.

“What?” I barely heard him but knew he spoke when his mouth moved.

“I so want to be with you,” my voice whimpered. I wasn’t even sure what I meant.

Reflections from the TV flickered in his eyes; they were as hungry as mine. I watched as his tongue moistened his lips and he searched for the right words.

“I want to be with you too.” Then he kissed me and sampled every inch of my lips. His palm cupped my
left
breast, thank God, as his other hand moved over my jeans to my upper thigh where I’d never been touched. My body quivered and, as hard as I fought, I couldn’t keep the moan from coming out. It seemed loud.

Your noises
…  I covered my face. “I’m sorry,” I panted. My breaths were coming in short gasps and I was embarrassed.

“Don’t be sorry.” His voice was low and rough and he lifted his leg trapping mine between his. I was on my back and he rested on his side. His rubbing hadn’t stopped and my head spun. I found it easier to keep my eyes closed.  On an impulse, I moved my hand to touch him down there. Through the denim I could feel him respond.  I pulled my hand away. I had never touched a guy before, not like that.

“Now, you can be sorry,” he growled between kisses.

The blood running through my veins burned my insides. It felt trapped and ran crazily through my body. Air hit my stomach as he lifted my shirt and brushed kiss after kiss across my abdomen. I trembled with each breath of air that I inhaled. The small of my back rested in his palms.

“Are you OK?” he asked with a trace of concern.

“I…I’m per-
fect. W-why?” the broken words mumbled out.

“You’re shaking. Am I hurting you? Are you cold?”

I rubbed my thumb over his soft lips as I looked down at him. “No.” I yanked at his shirt.

He didn’t take his eyes off of me, but with one hand pulled the cotton up and over his head. The feverish skin on his stomach touched mine as he pressed his body to me.

“We can do this. You know, I would never tell a soul.” I could barely speak.
              He snickered between kisses. “So, it would be our little secret?” he teased.

“Ab..so…lute…
ly.” the syllables matched his kisses and my gasps.

“Maybe we should work something out. Five months
is
a long time.” The desire in his eyes hadn’t faded. “Though it will
so
be worth the wait.”

“I don’t want to wait.” I pouted. My body had never—felt this—responded like this. My mom had warned me about hormones but not this…this internal plea…a longing I’d never experienced.

“Oh, Em. My hot, adorable freshman.” He nibbled at my ear.

“I’m supposed to be a sophomore. You know that, right?”  He hesitated for a second then proceeded down my neck stopping in the tuck of my collarbone.

“I did
not
know that.”

It was hard to concentrate on my words with what he was doing. “Born premature. Docs thought it was a good idea to wait to send me to school though I exceeded all their expectations.” 
              I smiled. 

“You’re exceeding mine right now.” His groan was satisfying.

“So, there is really only two years between us.” I arched my body toward his.

“Please, two years is nothing,” he was teasing me.

“Exactly. Then let’s not wait,” I begged, goose bumps covering my body.

“You have a legitimate argument.” He glanced up at me and nodded. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll be with you as soon as my probation officer gives me the green light.” Then he unsnapped my jeans and I sighed.

“Probation officer?” I heard the deep voice of my father and was taken back by Zach’s reaction. He flew off me, pulled my shirt down and grabbed his within less than three seconds.

“Mr. and Mrs.
Henricks. I’m sorry. I…” His words trailed off as he shoved his shirt hard over his shoulders. His jaw tight.

I slid my shirt over my unbuttoned pants hoping my parents didn’t notice. Zach extended his hand to me. I accepted his offer to help me, but, once up, he dropped my hand.

My dad took his jacket off tossing it into a chair. “Zach, did you say probation?”

The look on Zach’s face was full of shame. “Yes, sir.” His words were strong.

“Dad! Stop!”  I cried. “I’m just as much to blame probably more.”

“Emma, get to your room.” My father ordered.

“NO!” I shouted knowing I’d regret it later. “You don’t understand. I wanted to be with Zach and he told me no. He knew we shouldn’t.”

Dad’s face was tight and rigid and I was scared…but not of my dad…of what he was going to do.

Mom moved toward me. “Emma, honey, you should go to your room.”

I jerked away from her and stood by Zach. “I won’t. I won’t let you persecute him.” I held his upper arm and he gave me a tight smile.

“
He
is eighteen and an adult and
you
are fifteen and still considered a child. Now, go to your room.”

“I am not a child, Dad. Please…he’s good, and honest, and everything I need him to be.” My dad’s anger wasn’t subsiding no matter my words. I felt sick.

Zach gripped my shoulders and his eyes bored into mine. “Do as your father says, Em. Go to your room so we can talk.” He was trying to be strong but I could tell by his eyes that he was worried too.

I shook my head. Tears streamed down my cheeks. He wiped them with his thumbs and nodded toward the stairs. “I love you.” I choked out. He kissed the top of my head and smiled.

My mom’s face was sad as I rounded the corner.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter that Ryan’s up here with a fifteen year old.  That’s different…right.”  I spouted off before my assent up the stairs.  I slammed my door before falling onto my bed feeling like my heart would burst.

Thirty long minutes ticked by on the clock before I quietly opened the door and tip toed down the stairs.  I heard my father’s voice and I didn’t move.

“Zach, this is nothing personal.”

“I understand.” Just hearing Zach’s voice soothed me.

“Emma will accept this in time.”

What? Accept what? My world was crashing down around me. I couldn’t take it. I flew down the stairs.

“Accept what?” I demanded to know.

Zach glanced at me for a second. His eyes were dark…expressionless. He blinked away.

“Tell me!” 

“Emma Nicole. I will tell you when he leaves. Get back to your room.” Dad said harshly.

“No. I want to hear it from him.”

Dad stared at Zach then nodded as if he approved the conversation. The hair on my neck stood.              

Zach’s shoulders slumped as he faced me. His chest moved up and down slowly. I smelled his breath as he exhaled and I inhaled the air he blew, knowing I wouldn’t be doing so for a while. His eyes couldn’t find mine and he struggled to find words.

I broke the silence. “I can’t see you anymore, can I?”  My tear ducts ran dry. This wasn’t happening. My parents knew I loved him. They wouldn’t do this.

He closed his eyes. “It’s just for a little while.” His lips were tight. Even a little while would be too long.

He reached for my hand, which shook uncontrollably.  “‘Til you’re off probation?”

He nodded and his eyes fell.  “It’s just ‘til March.”  I shook my head until I was dizzy. He grabbed my cheeks. “
Em. We can do this. I should have been honest with your folks. This is my fault."  It was so not his fault. I’m the one that pressured him. Always the gentleman. He would never hurt me.

I sniffed. “OK. So, what. I can’t see you but we can talk on the phone…text…what?”

I watched him swallow hard and I knew I wasn’t going to like what was coming. My chin quivered and he touched my face. “It’s going to fly by. I’ll see you at school. Don’t be angry at your folks. They’re only doing this because they want to protect you.”

My eyes about came out of my head. “Protect me. From you? This…this is crazy. And you agreed?”

He nodded.

I swiveled around to face my parents. “I can’t believe you are doing this!” I glared at my father as my mom rubbed her forehead. “This is ridiculous. I love him! You can’t keep us apart.”

My dad dismissed my words. “Why don’t you go ahead and leave,” he directed.

Zach grabbed his keys off the sofa table.

“NO!” I caught hold of his arm. “I’m going with him!” I screamed. “Take me. Take me with you, please,” I begged.

His eyes were sad. A ‘no’ was coming. 

“Please,” I cried as tears streamed down my cheeks. “Please,” I whispered.

He glanced toward my parents. “May I hug her?”

“Yes.” My mom spoke before my father had a chance.

“Don’t leave me.”

He pulled me into his chest rubbing my hair. My arms didn’t go fully around him but I held on as tight as I could.

“I love you,” he whispered so only I could hear, then tried to break my hold but wasn’t forceful. “
Em. Please. Help me out.” His voice was quiet.

I shook my head.

His body stiffened and his strong hands gripped my arms and pushed them to my sides. He bent forward and kissed my forehead. I didn’t look at him…I couldn’t.  I heard our front door open and shut.

I walked to the stairs.

“Emma.” My father’s voice was soft and I glared at him.

“I’ll never forgive you for this,” I said flatly, and took one step at a time. As I reached the top, I heard his voice again.

“Katie. This is nuts. This relationship has gotten totally out of hand.” He was angry.

“Matt. It’s her first love. The more we fight it…the worse it’s going to get.”

“Did you see what they were doing?”

“Yes. I’ll talk to her.”

“You better.”

I went into my room and slammed the door.

I texted Zach immediately.

Call me
.
Send.

Fifteen minutes passed. My stomach hurt. I texted again.

Zach please
!
Send.

My head hurt as I lay and watched my ceiling fan rotate. I tried to listen to music but every song reminded me of him. I couldn’t do this.  I texted again.

What day in March
?
Send.