OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (29 page)

I can't diet. It goes off your breasts first and THERE IS NOTHING THERE TO START WITH.

And Rob did his spicy chicken and rice thing today. My body needs it. My A-cups NEED it.

Just spoke to Dimple. She's gone mad at even the thought of Nicky saying I'm putting on weight. She said, “Hattie, you are like a stick insect – this is JUST what we tried to tell you about him. He's all mixed up. Dump him!”

Nicky wants me to go boarding with him on Wednesday at the skate park.

I'm sure he was just joking.

I can't even think past THIS week and school are MAKING us “consider our LONG-TERM futures”. WHY?!

Today we had to write our CV. Florence Morse – ultimate rebel – wrote a pee-take one!

Bet they all think it's fantastic!

Nicky wasn't at school today to write his CV. He hardly ever is! He says the future will “just happen”.

Nicky just rang my mob. He wasn't joking about the skate park. He wants me to meet him there after school tomorrow!

I met up with Nicky at 4 p.m. He kissed me when I turned up and then spent the rest of the time basically grunting and stunting. I shouted, “Well done!” when boys did big loop things but I felt like such a doughnut standing there. In the end I just said goodbye and got Rob to pick me up after an hour. Rob said, “Getting into skating, Hattie?!” Er, no, Rob. I'm not getting into snogging either!

Nicky sort of ignored me tonight. It was a bit bad.

Or perhaps he just respects the fact that I can cope on my own! He may well respect me as an actual woman.

Actually I just think he likes doing half-pipe aerial thingies more than he likes me.

OMG! SCHOOL SHOCKER.

The school do not think Florence is brilliant and have said she has to have special career lessons. I can't imagine Florence ever in a job. Unless there's a job where being moody and grumpy is a good thing.

Rob says the people who do these jobs are always miserable:

•   People you have to deal with when you're trying to claim insurance.

•   People who work in banks when you are asking them for money.

•   Traffic wardens.

•   Moody people with guitars who sing about death from war, death from climate change, death from a broken heart or death in general.

I think Florence could do the last one REALLY WELL.

Thinking of it, Florence and Nicky are quite similar…

No. They shouldn't go out together. I still like him.

I went round to see Gran after school. She was out the back watching her new young gardener in action. She said, “My engine has gone but my headlights still work, Hattie.” She is getting more happiness from Tyson planting some bulbs than I am from an entire relationship with Nicky.

I met Dimple at her house this morning. I started to cry. The facts are that I have a rubbish haircut, a boyfriend who doesn't treat me very well AT ALL and a gran who wolf-whistles at good-looking young men and then pretends it wasn't her when they turn round. My life is a mahoosive MESS.

Dimple couldn't really argue. It's all true. She saw Gran whistle at the men who are working on the new shopping centre in town. They saw it was her, leant over their scaffolding and cheered.

Anyway Dimple gave me a big hug and promised to try and cheer me up. She's asked her friend Nita to come over and give me some henna art on my arm this afternoon. It's only temporary! I'm having a rose. It symbolizes growth, beauty and strength. Plus I know that Nicky likes tattoos on women.

My rose looks like a cabbage. Nita said she thought petals were a bit of a “challenge”. They were. I've got leaves!!! Nita said, “Perhaps vegetables are a sign of dignity and rebirth.”

No, they are not, Nita – vegetables are a sign of your actual dinner!!!

I just rang Gran. She understands things going wrong on your body. She tried everything on her Father Christmas diamante vajazzle bum. She said, “You'll have to wear long sleeves, Hattie, till it fades.” That could be all summer!