On Her Own (31 page)

Paul and Aaron didn’t return home until nearly five o’clock, so Barbara figured they’d had a good time. She couldn’t wait to hear about their fishing trip and find out what Paul wanted to discuss with her. He hadn’t said anything before they left, but she’d been busy talking with John Frey. Paul must have decided the matter could wait until he’d brought Aaron home this evening.

When Paul halted the horse, Barbara stepped up to the buggy. “Did you two have a good time?”

Aaron jumped down holding a plastic sack with a couple of fish tails sticking out. “We each caught two nice catfish, and I almost fell in the pond.”

Barbara’s gaze went immediately to Paul. “What happened?”

He shrugged. “Aaron was running along the edge of the pond, and he slipped. He nearly fell in, but I caught him before he hit the water.”

Aaron’s dark eyes shone like two shiny pennies. “That’s the second time Paul’s saved me now.”

A lump formed in Barbara’s throat. It was wonderful to see Aaron enjoying Paul’s company and appreciating him so much. “I’m glad you’re okay and didn’t get wet.” She smiled at Paul. “Danki, Paul.”

He nodded.

“Are you two hungry?” she asked.

Aaron’s head bobbed up and down. “Jah, sure. I could eat a mule.”

Barbara chuckled. “I’m afraid your grandpa might have something to say if you go after one of his mules.” She looked at Paul. “Would you like to stay for supper? I’ve made a big pot of beans and some corn bread.”

A shadow crossed Paul’s face, and he avoided her gaze. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d best be getting home.”

“Aw, can’t you stay awhile?” Aaron asked with a pout. “I know my little brothers would like to see you.”

“Sorry.” Paul leaned over and handed the boy his fishing pole. “I promised my mamm I’d be home early tonight, so I’d better be on my way.” He climbed into his buggy and quickly gathered up the reins.

“What about the talk we were supposed to have?” Barbara asked. “I thought you had something you wanted to discuss with me.”

“It was nothing important. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be leaving for Pennsylvania early next week.” Paul stared at her with a strange expression. “I hope you have a good life, Barbara.” Before she could respond, he drove swiftly out of the yard.

“Sure wish he could’ve stayed to eat with us,” Aaron said dejectedly.

Barbara nodded slowly. She wished Paul would have stayed, too. “Maybe some other time, son.”

“But you heard him, Mama. Paul said he’ll be leaving soon.” Aaron’s lower lip trembled, and his eyes filled with tears. “And just when we were becoming good friends.”

Barbara gave Aaron a hug as she fought to control her own emotions. “I’m awful sorry. I guess some things just aren’t meant to be.”

“Are you coming to bed?” Noah asked as Faith stood in front of their bedroom window, staring at the night sky.

She turned to face the bed, where he sat holding his Bible. “I’m not sure I can sleep.”

A look of concern flashed across his face. “What’s wrong? Are you worried about one of the kinner?”

Faith shook her head and sat down beside him. “I spoke with Margaret Hilty today, and she gave me some surprising news.”

“What?”

“Margaret told me that John Frey asked her to marry him.”

Noah’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s sure a surprise. What’d she tell him?”

“She said yes. But they won’t be getting married for a few more months. Not until she has set her mourning clothes aside.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“I knew the bishop had been making calls on Margaret, but
until today, I had no idea they had developed such a personal relationship or that he’d proposed marriage.” Faith’s forehead wrinkled. “At one point, the bishop was after Barbara to marry him. But the last time I spoke with Barbara, she told me John had changed his mind about marrying her, and she was glad because she’s not in love with him.” She grunted. “My good friend never said a word about John proposing marriage to Margaret, though. It makes me wonder what happened to change his mind.”

Noah reached for Faith’s hand. “After spending so much time with Margaret, John probably realized he’d fallen in love with her.”

Faith nodded as she pursed her lips. “I wonder. . . .”

“What’s going on in your head?”

“Since Barbara won’t be marrying John, I wonder if Paul will ask her to marry him.”

Noah squeezed Faith’s fingers. “Now, fraa, don’t you be trying to play little matchmaker. If it’s meant for Paul and Barbara to be together, then you’d best let the Lord work things out between them.”

She nodded and kissed him on the cheek. “I promise not to meddle, but I can sure pray.”

Barbara sat straight up in bed. She was drenched with perspiration from having tossed and turned most of the night. She’d seen David in one of her dreams, kissing her good-bye before he headed to town to pick up her anniversary present. John Frey had been in another dream, calmly telling her of his plans for
the future. The last dream had Paul Hilty in it, driving away from her house and out of her life forever.

Barbara slipped out of bed and padded across the room to the dresser. She massaged her temples a few seconds, then leaned over the basin of water on top of the dresser. As the cool water hit Barbara’s face, she allowed her anxieties to fully surface.

“I’ve got to sell the harness shop,” she moaned. “There’s no way I can keep running it on my own.” She had prayed long and hard about this matter and, under the circumstances, felt it was the only thing she could do.

Barbara dried her face on the nearby towel and grimaced.
If Paul leaves Webster County, who will I find to sell the place to? Nobody else in our community does harness work. And without a harness shop, people will have to go to another town to get their work done
.

She sighed as she glanced at her infant son sleeping peacefully in his crib.
At least someone in the room isn’t feeling the burdens of life
. She moved over to the window and lifted the dark shade. A light rain fell, dropping more leaves from the trees in her yard and matching the tears Barbara felt on her cheeks.

She drew in a deep breath.
Paul has to buy the shop. I should have spoken up yesterday when he was here and asked if he’d be interested
.

She reflected on Paul’s announcement that he’d be leaving in a few days.
I should have been more prepared for that news, but it caught me off guard. Paul has seemed so settled here of late
. Ever since he had helped Aaron down from the silo, he had acted like he cared about the boy and wanted to be his friend.
That will never happen if he leaves
.

Barbara paced the room in quick, nervous steps. There was
only one thing she could do, and that was to ask Paul outright not to go. Maybe when he heard her offer to sell him the harness shop, he would decide to stay.

“But I’d better move fast,” she murmured.

W
here you going, son?” Paul’s mother asked.

“Thought I’d take a ride. Since I’ll be leaving in a few days, I’d like to see the countryside one last time.”

Mom frowned. “I still can’t get over the announcement you made last night. I don’t see why you have to go and leave us again. Don’t you know how much your daed and I will miss you?”

Paul nodded. “I know, and I’ll miss you, too. But with Barbara getting. . .” His voice trailed off.

“With Barbara getting what?”

“Oh, never mind.” He grasped the doorknob.

“Will you be back in time for the noon meal?”

“I don’t know.”

“We’re having Margaret over, along with your brothers and
their families.” She paused. “And there’ll be a couple other guests, as well.”

Paul did want to see his sister-in-law again, if just to see how she’d been getting along and to tell her good-bye. “I’ll try to be back by noon.”

“That’s good,” she responded. “This might be the last time our family can all be together for some time.”

“Okay, Mom.”

As Paul trudged across the yard toward his buggy, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. All his plans and dreams had gone out the window in one brief moment when he’d overheard Barbara and the bishop speaking about their upcoming marriage.

He stepped into his buggy and grabbed the reins. Maybe some time alone with the wind blowing in his face and the smell of crisp autumn leaves tickling his nose might calm his anxieties. He could also do some serious praying.

“Giddyap there, boy,” he called to the horse. “You and me have got some riding to do.”

As Paul headed down the road, anxious thoughts tumbled around in his mind. He loved Barbara, but she was going to marry Bishop John. He’d come to care for her boys, but they could never be his. He enjoyed being in Webster County, but he didn’t belong anymore. He loved working in the harness shop but would probably never own one of his own.

Sometime later, the smell of sweaty horseflesh drifted up to Paul’s nose, and he grimaced when he realized that he’d been making his poor gelding trot for the last several miles. He had thought this buggy ride would make him feel better, but by the
time he returned home, he was even more agitated than when he’d headed out. He didn’t want to leave his friends and family again, but he didn’t want to stay and see Barbara marry the bishop, either.

In a brief moment of desperation, Paul had considered driving straight over to Barbara’s and begging her to marry him instead of John Frey. But he’d quickly decided that it was a dumb idea.
She’s already chosen him. I’d only make myself look like a fool if I barged in and declared my love
. The best thing he could do was to get back to Pennsylvania as quickly as he could and hope he’d be able to forget about Barbara and her boys.

Paul took his time unhitching the horse and putting him in the barn. He dreaded the meal with all his family present. Goodbyes would be hard, especially with Mom and Pop so set against him leaving.

When Paul headed around the back of the house, he was surprised to see Bishop Frey sitting in a chair on the porch. Beside him sat Dan’s widow, Margaret.

What’s he doing here?
Paul fumed.

Gritting his teeth, Paul stepped onto the porch.

“Wie geht’s?” the bishop asked.

Paul forced a smile. “I’m fine, and you?”

“Good. Real good.

Paul looked over at Margaret. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine and dandy.” She grinned up at Paul, and he noticed for the first time since Dan’s death that Margaret looked quite relaxed. Maybe she’d been counseling with the bishop and Paul had interrupted. Best he should make a fast exit.

He grabbed the handle on the screen door and was about
to open it when the bishop said, “Your mamm tells me you’re planning to go back to Pennsylvania sometime this week.”

Paul gave a curt nod. “I’ll probably see about getting a bus ticket tomorrow morning.”

“That’s too bad,” the older man said. “We were hoping you’d be here for the wedding.”

Paul’s body became rigid. What was the bishop trying to do—rub salt in his wounds? “I didn’t think there was any need for me to see you and Barbara get married,” he said stiffly.

Margaret gave a little gasp, and John’s bushy eyebrows drew together.

“I’m not marrying Barbara Zook,” John said with a shake of his head.

Confusion settled around Paul like a thick fog rolling in. “But I thought—”

“It’s me John is planning to marry,” Margaret said, her face turning crimson.

Paul felt as if the air had been squeezed right out of his lungs. He grabbed the porch railing for support. “When? How?” he stammered.

“We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now,” the bishop replied. “And last week, Margaret agreed to become my wife. After the proper time for her mourning to be finished, of course.”

“But—but I saw you at Barbara’s harness shop yesterday. I overheard you saying—”

“I was telling her about Margaret accepting my proposal.”

Paul continued to lean heavily against the rail. If John was going to marry Margaret and not Barbara, that meant Paul still
had a chance. At least, he hoped he did.

Drawing in a deep breath, Paul said, “I’m happy for the both of you.” He started for the steps. “Would you tell Mom I have an errand to run and won’t be able to join the family for lunch after all?”