On the Fringe (9 page)

Could it be?
Again?

I looked around, scanning the crowds for a familiar face in a sea of strangers. Drew eyed me curiously, now, his eyes popping out over the cotton candy. He looked like a cartoon—a cute one, no less, and I quickly took another lick while hiding behind my monster lollipop, struggling to act normal while my mind seemed to be playing tricks on me.

Smiling faintly at Drew, I did my best to ignore the strange sensation, to convince myself that it was nothing. But no matter what, I couldn’t shake it, which made me even more annoyed at myself for dwelling so long on thoughts of Daniel. I’d already spent enough time obsessing over him, and the fact that I was out on a date was proof of my resolve. Or, so I thought
.

I finally gave up on the sticky monstrosity and tossed it in the trash, then hopped on the carousel with Drew, mounting an ivory horse with an angry face, nostrils flaring and golden streamers trailing down its mane. It was mid-gallop, and without question in the midst of a particularly intense race. It fit my mood perfectly.

A few kids and teenagers joined us. Drew straddled a pink pot-bellied pig and made a goofy face while swinging his arms up and down, like he was racing. I smiled, but the show was mostly for the little kids, who were laughing hysterically at Drew’s every move. He seemed to eat up the attention.

Music blared as we jerked forward, the lights blinding us. As it picked up speed, I let my head fall backward, trying to allow the lights, music and movement take hold of me like I was floating along a mesmerizing current, the wind softly blowing my hair.

After a few turns, I glanced over at Drew, who was now wearing a cheesy grin with a bit of cotton candy stuck to his chin. That was when I knew for certain there was nothing romantic there. Sure, he was cute, and even gentlemanly—but it just wasn’t going to happen.

The carousel began to slow, and I swayed as it pulled me along, the blurred scenery coming full circle again and again and again. About the fourth time around, a familiar face caught my attention, and my heart sped up when I realized it was Daniel.

I watched him each time we spun by, but tried not to be obvious, mostly for Drew’s sake, but also for fear Daniel might bolt again if he knew I’d spotted him. But it was nearly impossible to look the other way. How could I
not
look? He was off in the far corner away from the bright lights, leaning against an out-of-order popcorn machine. This time he wore a pair of tan shorts and a different t-shirt with some sort of graphic pattern across the front, but the colors were muted and grey, making it difficult to pick out much detail. He seemed to blend into the wooden-planked wall behind him, like a camouflaged shadow.

The carousel leisurely slowed into its final rotation as a shrill series of bells rang and bodies rushed everywhere, all trying to get off. Even though Drew had already stepped off the platform and was waiting for my hand, I couldn’t move. Not with Daniel right over there.

How… why…
what
was I supposed to do?

I looked over at Drew, who stood there smiling, apparently more and more clueless as the night went on. I didn’t want to disappoint him, not with that permanent grin on his face, so I took his hand and jumped off the carousel, even though my heart was still racing and my mind was trying to balance reality with, well,
with Daniel
.

We made it halfway down the hill, near an old decorative lamppost and a wrought-iron bench, when I made my decision. I stopped and asked Drew to wait there, telling him I needed to go to the ladies’ room. He looked a little embarrassed at the request, but obediently sunk into the bench and started playing a noisy game on his iPod. The minute he looked down, I took a detour.

Daniel was still planted inside the platform by the popcorn machine. He hadn’t moved a muscle—a cliché that was literally true this time. I contemplated turning around, of leaving the vision of Daniel secured safely in my mind where it belonged. But I couldn’t turn away after considering the facts: I was not sick. Daniel was not a hallucination. And I was definitely not on drugs. Every aspect of my life screamed normalcy, which could mean only one thing. Daniel really
did
exist in some other sphere…only, for some reason he occasionally decided to visit me.

Why?

Well, tonight I planned on figuring that out.

Daniel

When I saw Claire out on a date with
Drew,
of all people, I lost my resolve to keep my distance. Not like Drew was a jerk, or anything. He was just, well…not her type, although pinpointing who
was
her type seemed impossible. I might venture out on a limb and suggest that maybe
I
was Claire’s type, but then that would be a little self-serving. Let’s just say I was one thousand percent positive that some dude from the football team was definitely
not
Claire’s type.

I sensed a change in her energy that night as I hung back a few cars, following them to dinner, then up into the hills for some kind of nature excursion (Nice move, Drew. I didn’t know he could be so…romantic). It was actually relieving to watch Claire finally enjoying life again, even with this guy. She seemed to be okay for once.

At first I watched them from far away, feeling slightly irritated, possibly even jealous when she smiled because of him. I really had no intention of letting her know I was there watching them, and that was the truth. But before I knew it, Claire had ditched her date and was already walking toward me, almost cornering me.

And then it was too late.

Claire

Inhaling deeply, I walked toward the platform where Daniel stood frozen like a photograph. Once he realized I was coming right for him, he took a step backward, like he was about to leave.

Don’t go,
I silently begged.

He shifted sideways toward one of the rear entrances leading out into the trees. But I didn’t take my eyes off him. Past the whirring carousel, through the music and crowds and sweet smell of candy, I continued my pursuit down the steps and into the shadows of the unlit park grounds. Just as I nearly reached him, he was another fifteen feet away from me. Somehow he had instantly shifted backward, and now watched me from behind the carousel platform. A feeling of vertigo swept over me, and I stopped. Nothing had moved, yet in a blink, Daniel had shifted away from me again.

Where was he going?

I followed him out there, down the steps to the fresh air and a starry sky. Once out from beneath the glaring lights, I pulled my sweater around my shoulders and crept along in the dark, making my way through the shadows to him. I could see he was wearing flip-flops now, and I shallowly wondered how often he deliberated footwear.

Only a few feet apart now, we faced each other. He seemed hesitant, like he was debating whether or not to stay. I stopped and reached for him, my fingers hovering near his chin.

He looked in my eyes, like he wanted to say something.

I smiled.

His eyes seemed to brighten at that, and he smiled, too. Lifting his hand up near mine, he extended his fingers wide as our hands overlapped, absurdly occupying the same space. A sudden look of irritation swept over him, and his hands quickly fell to his side.

“What?” I asked, whispering.

He started to speak, but hesitated, looking at me apologetically.

I wanted so much more, and could feel my frustration beginning to seep through, overpowering my awe. “Why do you keep coming?” I said over the beat of my pounding heart.

When he didn’t respond, unwanted tears gathered inside my eyes. Daniel looked away, seemingly hurt.

“Wait…” I said, already regretting my outburst. “It’s okay, Daniel. That’s not what I meant. Don’t leave yet.
Please,
” I begged.

He looked up, but his eyes were so dismal. I was afraid I’d blown it.

In the distance, a deep, reverberating rhythm of a clock began to chime, the bonging drowning out my voice. It reminded me of the date I’d ditched. When the tenth chime finally dissolved into a soft echo, I turned around, scanning the crowd behind me. No sign of Drew yet.

Daniel
—what was I going to do? Even though I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving him, I also knew he could never be a part of my life, either. How could he? He was
dead.
Yet, Daniel Holland stood before me with a smile that seemed to melt my heart.

Except, now he was stepping backward, away from me.

“Don’t leave,” I said. “Not yet.”

His eyes told me he had to.

“Claire!” Drew’s voice called for me in the distance, though I was convinced I still had a few more minutes.

Daniel seemed to be drifting away from me, but I wasn’t ready to let him go. In protest, I lunged at him. But, instead of my hand gliding through him like before, it stopped against the solid mass of Daniel’s arm—an arm that was warm, and real and alive.

I gasped.

He froze.

I could feel his skin
, and clung on to him with surprising strength, afraid to let go. My shocked face duplicated Daniel’s. I was dumbfounded.
Thrilled.
Confused. Had I once and for all really lost it—imagining this because something in me finally snapped?

Daniel held still, fixed momentarily in a daze that had obviously stunned him like it did me. He reached for me with his other hand, touching my shoulder. The feel of his skin sent electrifying chills up and down my arms, like icicles dancing with firecrackers. I could feel every one of his fingers gripping my skin.

“What…happened?” I asked, looking for answers. “
What…?
” But I didn’t know how to finish.

The sound of the crowd behind me seemed to disappear, leaving only the leaves rustling in the creaking trees.

“Claire…” he said deeply, slowly.

His voice. I could
hear
it—a deep, soothing voice I loved more than anything. It was foreign, yet familiar, as deep as it was gentle, one I had known my entire life.

I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me. “I can hear you.” The whole time I’d known him, we had never once hugged, not deliberately, not like this. Daniel held me comfortably, his hands pressing into my back, sweetly suffocating me.

“How can you hear me?” he whispered in my ear before letting out a little laugh. I pulled back to see his smile.

“You’re
alive
,” I said, my fingers pressing into the base of his neck. I loved the feel of his hair.

“I can’t believe this,” he whispered, his feathery breath dancing across my skin. “This is crazy!” He released me to scrutinize his own arms and hands. “You don’t know what it feels like to…to breathe, and to
feel
again, Claire, after nothing for so long…to feel something, to feel
you
.” He pulled me to him again, his fingers pressing softly into my skin, as if touching me for the first time.

“
Are
you alive?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Nothing makes sense.”

“You mean this has never happened before?”

“Are you kidding?
No
! No, this is insane!” he said, lifting me off my feet in one giant swoop, spinning me around until I was dizzy.

“Daniel!” I laughed.

He put me back down, still holding my hands tight, when a lock of hair swept down into his eyes. He brought his hand up to push it away, then paused. “That used to bug me.”

“What did?”

“My hair. I always hated how it fell down into my face.”

“You did?”

“Yes. But now it just makes me feel more alive.”

He grew a little more serious then, having slipped a bit from his high.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, grabbing his hands again.

“I just feel so strange right now, like I’m crawling out of my skin. Like I can’t get enough of life, but don’t really need it anymore, either. Does that make sense?”

Not really.
“I guess.”

Drawing me to him again, his arms crushed me as his cheek gently brushed against my face. But the sound of the carousel seemed to find us again, sabotaging our embrace and reminding me of my abandoned date. Strangely, I felt like I could sense Drew approaching, and the panic hit us both at the same time.

Daniel let go of me as I took a painful step backward. “He’s coming,” he said.

“Let’s hide,” I whispered, looking around for a good hiding spot. But Daniel wouldn’t move with me as I tried pulling him with me into the trees.

“We can’t, Claire. Not now,” he said, standing firmly, refusing to follow.

“Why? Daniel?”

“I need to tell you something,” he said, “about your—”

I suddenly couldn’t hear him anymore, even though he was right there. His mouth was still moving, like someone had pushed a mute button, and when I reached for his hands, nothing was there.

We stared at each other in defeat. Whatever connection we had shared was lost. Whatever brief life Daniel had experienced was gone. I stood there in disbelief as he shook his head.

“Claire?” a voice spoke from behind me.

Of course I jumped
and
screamed. It was Drew. He looked at me like I was mental.

I pretended to be thankful he’d found me lost in the woods, but sensed he wasn’t buying it. He led me back down the hill to the car without saying a word or breaking a smile.

I turned to look for Daniel one last time, but he had already disappeared into the night.

CHAPTER SIX
BOO

Daniel

I felt bad. Well, just for Drew. I could already tell Claire was going to be fine, which was pretty much how I felt, too. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

The trees flew by me as I shot into the sky above the tiny city, eventually slowing down to take it all in—not the distant city lights below me, but the shocking fact that for a few minutes I had somehow come back from the dead. Not only that, but I couldn’t seem to take my eyes or hands off of Claire, either.