On the Outside Looking In (Wrong Reasons) (13 page)

My heart swelled as I looked at his beautiful face.  How had I gotten so lucky?

***

Friday night, I agreed to meet Irelyn and Bailey at Rusty’s.  It was Out Back’s last performance at the bar and the girls wanted to make it special.  Even Rusty was in on it as he’d arranged party-style finger foods, decorations, and drink specials for the occasion.  Bailey told me at lunch earlier that week that the guys had ordered a poster size copy of the preliminary CD cover and had it framed.  They all signed it, thanking Rusty for helping them to get their big break.  They intended to give it to him that night.

It was such a big deal that I arranged to have the next day off.  I didn’t want to cut the night short just because I had to work the early shift on Saturday morning.

The best part was that Evan would be able to join me at the table.  He was scheduled to work early and finish up around nine.  Finally I could sit with my friends and be one of them, not the odd man out.

I dressed carefully before heading to Rusty’s, in black, skinny jeans, a white cardigan, and mid-thigh boots.  Artfully draping a soft, pink scarf around my neck, I applied my usual, minimal makeup.  Once I was satisfied, I drove to Rusty’s, excitement shimmering up and down my spine.

I located Evan immediately behind the bar, a crowd of coed girls vying for his attention.  Grinning, I waltzed to the end and waited for him to notice me.  When he did, a large smile cracked his careful, professional façade.  He finished filling a drink order before hurrying down to greet me, diet soda in his hand.

“I’ll be glad to get out from behind this bar tonight,” he said.  “Save me a seat, huh?”

“Of course,” I said as he leaned as far as he could over the bar.  I leaned in to meet him with a quick kiss before turning to find Irelyn and Bailey at their usual table.

“How are things with Evan?” Irelyn asked, her eyes shining.  She was such a romantic.

“They’re great,” I said, not able to contain my own smile.  “He’s great.”

“That’s just great,” Bailey said, nudging me with her elbow.  “I’m going to miss coming down here on Fridays.”

“Bailey,” I said.  “Are you becoming nostalgic?”

“It must be the baby hormones,” Irelyn said, leaning into me to giggle.

“Shut up, bitches,” Bailey said, ruining her faux anger with a laugh.  “I was just thinking about our first year and how we used to come down here all the time.”

“Yeah,” I said, looking at Irelyn.  “Remember our first time here when Irelyn left with Lucas?”

“How could I forget,” Bailey said.  “She called me in the middle of the night to come get her.”

“It all worked out in the end,” Irelyn said, flashing her engagement ring in our faces.

I laughed, my heart so full of love and affection.  For the first time in months, everything felt right – and natural.  Maybe the pieces of life were finally falling into place.

But, of course, Jessica had to show up and throw a wrench into my plans.

Chapter Thirteen

Jessica slipped into a chair at the table, unwrapping the colorful scarf from around her neck before removing her coat.  She barely glanced in my direction, just focused on the other two at the table.

“I didn’t think I was ever going to get out of the diner,” she complained.  “My last table was a bunch of rowdy old married guys out to eat before hitting the bars.”

“Did they hit on you?” Irelyn asked.

“
Ew, no,” Jessica said, crinkling her nose.  “They were, like, forty.  Gross.  And they took forever to eat and clear out.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, wondering how old Jessica would think forty really was once she was that age.  I smiled at the thought.

“I didn’t think you’d be here tonight,” Jessica said, her hard words barely covered by her saccharine sweet tone.

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Irelyn asked.

Jessica shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I just didn’t think she liked coming down here.  She always leaves early.”

“She’s not leaving early tonight,” Bailey said, waving at the waitress.  “She’s staying for the party.”

Jessica looked less than thrilled but kept her comments to herself.  Once Out Back took the stage, no one could really converse, anyway.

Shortly after nine, Evan slid into the chair beside me, taking my hand under the table.  I smiled at him, happy to have him at my side, and turned back to the band, enjoying myself more than I had in months.

After the first set, Irelyn and Bailey began to pelt Evan with questions, asking him how long we’d been dating, what were his intentions, and on and on.  It was cute and light-hearted, but I didn’t like the distrustful gleam in Irelyn’s eyes.  Maybe she’d taken his jokes too seriously.

“I like Morgan,” he finally said as the waitress set a round of fresh drinks on our table.  “She’s a good girl, not like some of the chicks out there.”

“Chicks,” Bailey snorted.  “What is it with guys and that word?”

“It’s cool,” Evan said, flashing a brilliant smile at Bailey.  “You
know, a cool word.”

“It’s stupid,” Bailey said with a cool lift to her brow.  “You want to call us chicks, like chickens, then how about if we call you cocks?”

Evan threw his head back and laughed, startling me.  I glanced at Bailey, a little afraid that he’d angered her, but she wore a look of approval as she fought a smile.

“All right, Bailey,” Evan conceded.  “I won’t call you or your friends chicks. 
How’s that?”

“Whatever floats your boat,” she said, lifting her glass of water in his direction.  He picked up his beer bottle and
clinked her glass.

The laughter and chiding continued as Out Back prepared to start their second set.  Jessica had pretty much kept quiet and, even better in my eyes; I’d managed to not pay much attention to Spencer.

It wasn’t until after the band finished that things started to unravel.  The band presented a rather touched Rusty with the poster just as the kitchen staff rolled out the food.  Someone chucked a ton of money into the jukebox and music began to filter into the bar, at a level low enough to allow some conversation. 

Spencer, Collin, and Lucas joined our table with heaping plates.  People constantly approached the table, congratulating them on their record deal and wishing them luck.  Evan and I hit the buffet and returned to the table, eating and drinking and floating on the ambiance.   Conversation centered on the band’s future, including the upcoming nuptials and birth.  Everyone was mellow and jolly, smiling and having fun.  Evan was immediately welcomed into the group, even though he’d already known everyone.

It was too good to be true.  Naturally.

I excused myself to use the restroom, pushing my way through the thinning crowd.  It was growing later and only the hardcore partiers had remained.

Once inside a stall, I heard the door open again.  When I finished, I moved to the sink to wash my hands, surprised to see Jessica leaning against it.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“What do you think I’m doing in the bathroom?” I asked as I squirted soap onto my hands and scrubbed them under the warm running water.

“I mean here, at Rusty’s.”

“I came to hear the band, the same as you,” I said, turning off the taps and shaking the excess water from my hands.  I snatched some paper towel out of the holder, wiping my hands as I faced Jessica.  “I’m not allowed or something?”

“You need to stay away from Spencer,” she said.  “Geez, you’re like a stalker.”

“I’m not here to see Spencer,” I said.  “I’m here to see my friends and to watch the band.”

“No, you’re not,” she said, pushing away from the counter and planting her fists on her hips.  “I know you have a thing for Spencer.  I know you’re using Evan to make Spencer jealous.  It’s not working.  Spencer could care less.”

“What?” a voice called from behind Jessica.  It had opened a crack during the conversation but now swung fully open revealing a shocked Irelyn.  “What is going on in here?”

“You’re ‘friend’, Morgan, isn’t as sweet and innocent as you think,” Jessica said, smug.

“What are you talking about?” Irelyn asked as she moved further into the room.  She looked at me.  “What is she talking about?”

“She thinks that I’m only dating Evan to make Spencer jealous.  She thinks I’m stalking him,” I explained.

“That’s ridiculous,” Irelyn said as she slowly turned to face Jessica.  “You seriously believe this?”

“It’s true!” Jessica said.  “After all she did last summer, she shows up here all the time, without a boyfriend, gawking at Spencer.  Then I said something to her about always being a third wheel and she suddenly has a boyfriend.”

“No,” Irelyn said, shaking her head.  “Morgan’s not like that.”

“Sure, she is,” Jessica said.  “Didn’t you hear the stuff that Evan said before Thanksgiving?  She’s using him – giving him sex to make him come here with her.  She just wants to make Spencer jealous.”

“Oh, my goodness!”
Irelyn exclaimed, a touch of red on her cheeks.  “Evan was joking – we all knew that.  And, really?  You honestly think Morgan is after Spencer?  That’s stupid. She had a thing for him once, but she’s way over that.  They’re just friends.”

“He can’t stand her,” Jessica said.  “He thinks she’s a little shadow.”

Her words cut at my heart.  I knew that Spencer didn’t think of me in a romantic way, but I was certain that we were still friends.  Maybe not as close as we once were, but we were still friends.

“You’re so full of it,” Irelyn said.  “I know that’s not true.  Spencer likes Morgan – sees her as a friend.  He would never say that.”

“Ask him,” Jessica said, shooting another of her smug looks my way.

“I will,” Irelyn said, pushing past Jessica. 
“Right now.”

“Irelyn,” I said, following her out.  She stopped to look at me.  “Don’t bring this up now.  Please.  The guys are having a good time – don’t ruin their party.”

“Didn’t you hear her in there?” she demanded, pointing at the bathroom door.

“Yes, I did,” I said.  “She’s constantly saying stuff like that to me.  I don’t care.  She doesn’t like me and I don’t like her.  She doesn’t matter to me. But you and the others matter.  I don’t want any drama to ruin this night, okay?”

A slow smile spread across Irelyn’s lips as she drew me into a hug.  “Okay.  I’ll wait until tomorrow to tell Spencer.  I hate to do it, but he needs to know.”

“I agree.”

“And,” she said as she drew back.  “I’m sorry that she treated you that way.”

“I’m a big girl,” I said with a smile.  “I can take it.”

“Okay.  Let’s go join the party.”

Linking her arm through mine, we returned to the table, both of us pasting looks of innocence on our faces.  Jessica returned a few moments later, stiff and defensive, but when no one verbally attacked her or confronted her about the bathroom encounter, she relaxed, keeping quiet.

Evan and I stayed for an hour more before deciding it was time to leave.  As he drove me home, he asked me what had happened.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He shrugged.  “When you left for the bathroom, Jessica waited about one second and then followed.  I was tempted to hang out outside the door to listen but Irelyn got up to go.  I figured Irelyn would have your back.”

“Yeah, she did,” I said as I recounted the entire story.

His hands gripped the wheel tightly as I spoke.  I finished just as he parked behind Beans.

“She is such a bitch,” he said.  “Someone needs to put her in her place.”

“I don’t care about all that,” I said.  “Irelyn is going to talk to Spencer tomorrow and let him know what Jessica has been saying.  It’s up to him what he does about it.  I’m not concerned, really, as long as she stops talking to me.”

He turned toward me, taking my hand.  “You’re going to have to deal with her, though.  She is friends with Irelyn and dating Irelyn’s fiancé’s cousin.”

“I know.”

“She’s also going to be in the wedding.”

“Yeah,” I grimaced.  “But I’ll deal with her.  Maybe once Spencer finds out how she’s been acting, he’ll talk to her and she’ll stop.  Doesn’t mean she’ll like me or me her, and it doesn’t mean we’ll be friends, but maybe we’ll be able to be in the same room together.”

He ran a knuckle over my cheek.  “What a mature attitude.”

“Whatever,” I said as I leaned into kiss him.  “I’m going to bed.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yep,” he said, kissing me.  “Good night.”

***

I didn’t think too much about Jessica’s words – was becoming more and more immune to her.  I didn’t dwell on them before going to sleep and didn’t even remember what had happened until late Saturday morning while cleaning my apartment.  It wasn’t until my phone rang around lunchtime that I fully realized the impact they’d had.

“Hello,” I said, answering my cell without a glance at the screen.  I’d figured it was Evan – he’d texted earlier that morning, telling me he was helping out at the apartment complex and would call me later.

“Morgan, hey.”

My heart stopped for a moment.  “Um, Spencer?”

“Yeah,” he said.  “How are you?  We haven’t had much of a chance to talk, lately.”

“I know,” I said.  “I’m fine.  How are you?  Are you enjoying recording your CD?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s great,” he said, animation leaking into his voice.  “I like it.  It’s a lot of work sometimes, and we’re there until all hours of the day at times, but it’s really cool.”

“That’s great,” I said.  “I’m happy for you.”

“I know you are,” he said in a soft tone.  “Listen, Morgan.  I spoke to Irelyn today.  She told me what Jessica has been saying to you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Spence,” I said.  “They’re just words.  They don’t bother me.”

“I know,” he said.  “But it bothers me.  I can’t believe she’d say those things.  I mean, I know you’re not a stalker.  I know you’re not all into me and shit.  I think it’s cool you’re dating Evan.  He’s a cool guy.”

“He is,” I said as a smile curved my lips. 

“I’m really sorry, Morg,” he said.  “I’m sorry she was such a bitch to you and I didn’t see it.”

“I appreciate your apology, but it’s not necessary,” I said.  “You weren’t the one to treat me that way.”

“No, but my girlfriend did,” he said.  “Well, ex-girlfriend.  And I feel responsible.”

“Ex-girlfriend?” I asked as my heart reacted in a way I didn’t like.  “Oh, Spence, I hope you didn’t break up over this.”

“It’s been a long time coming,” he sighed.  “She was so sweet when we started dating but lately, she’s become so possessive, always wanting to know where I am, what I’m doing.  She can’t stand if any female talks to me.  The way she treated you was just the icing on the cake.”

“I’m really sorry,” I said.  “I know you cared about her.”

“Yeah, I did,” he said.  “But, I wasn’t all in love with her, so this is probably for the best.  I think she was a little more into me than I was her, and that’s not fair.”

“No, probably not,” I said as I recalled the previous summer and how we used to talk.  Once again, the girl was more into him than he was into her – but that girl had been me.  A twinge of guilt hit me as a snatch of sympathy for Jessica fluttered through my brain.  It didn’t last long, though, as memories of her horrid words quickly followed.

“Ever since Irelyn and Lucas got engaged and Collin and Bailey announced that they were having a baby, Jessica has been hinting around that we need to do something a little more permanent.  She’s been bugging me about moving into my place.  Once we signed the contract, she suggested that we go house hunting.”

“Oh?” I asked.  I very much wanted to badmouth Jessica, but I didn’t think Spencer would take it well.  True, he’d broken things off, but he’d still cared about her at one time.  And I didn’t want to be that callous.

“Yeah,” he said, barking out a laugh.  “She was trying to spend my advance check before I even had it in my hands.”