On to Richmond (33 page)

             
She was beside her then, peering into the tiny cabin.  “Mama!” she screamed and then ran inside and fell to her knees next to the still body.  Sarah was still sitting in the rocking chair next to the window.   “Mama...” her voice fell off into soft sobbing as she lay her head on the white-clad lap.  “
Mama
...”

             
Suddenly Moses was standing next to Carrie. 

             
“Carrie?”

             
Carrie turned and looked up into his anxious face.  “She’s gone, Moses.  Sarah has gone to be with John.  She’s gone home.” 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

              “My mama may have been a slave, but she was the freest person I ever knew,” Rose murmured quietly.

             
Carrie nodded and slipped her arm around her friend’s waist. 

             
Sarah had been gone for over a week.  Still, Rose liked to come out to the grave.  She could remember her mama’s words best when she was standing beside her grave.  Every evening when the sun slipped below the horizon, she walked out to gaze down at the flower-draped wooden cross - and to remember.

             
“My mama left behind so much,” Rose said softly.

             
“I think maybe your mama lived life more than anyone I ever knew,” Carrie responded.  “She told me one time that it wasn’t the material things in life that mattered.  She wouldn’t be able to take them with her anyway.  She said the only thing that counted was how much love you left behind.”  She smiled.  “Your mama left behind an awful lot of love.”

             
“Your mama loved everyone,” Moses said in his deep voice. 

             
Rose edged closer to his towering body.  The need for his physical presence had intensified since her mama had died so suddenly.  It was only when she could feel him that she was sure he was there.  She tried to stay busy during the days, but the grief over her mama was still too fresh. 

             
Moses put his arm around Rose then, and the three friends stood together quietly.  They didn’t speak again until the sun had flung its last golden ray and slipped behind a purple bank of clouds. 

             
Moses was the one to break the silence.  “I won’t never forget the first time I saw your mama.  I thought she was an angel.  I’d just been sold on the block - split from my family.  I wasn’t nothing but a mess of anger and hurt.  Your mama knew that.  Her love that first night made those feelings a little easier to bear.  Then she taught me how to let go of all that hate and hurt.  I don’t know what I would be without her.”

             
Carrie nodded, remembering too.  “Sarah has been like a mama to me all my life.  She always knew what I was feeling.  She was smart enough not to give me many answers - she just asked a lot of questions and let me figure things out.  She trusted me to make the best decisions.”  Tears filled Carrie’s eyes.  “I’m going to miss her so much.”

             
Once again Rose felt the tears pouring down her cheeks.  She didn’t try to stop them.  Her mama had taught her that trying to control grief was like trying to dam up a river.  You could hold it back for a while but sooner or later it was going to be stronger than your control.  When it broke the dam, it would do a lot more damage than if you just let it flow natural like.  She would cry for as long as she needed to.  She knew that somewhere in the future time would work its magic and the hurting wouldn’t be so bad.   “I had the very best mama in the whole world,” she whispered through her tears.  “She’ll be right in the front of my heart for as long as I live.”

             
Finally she forced a smile and turned back toward the quarters.  “I’m ready to go back now.  Thank y’all for coming with me.”

             
When they reached the edge of the quarters, Rose and Moses turned toward their cabin.

             
“I’d like you to come to the house for a while if you would, please,” Carrie suddenly said. 

             
Rose looked at her.  “Got something on your mind?”

             
Carrie nodded quietly.

Carrie looked up from the sheet of paper she was holding in her hand.  Moses finished lighting the lantern and sat back down on the love seat beside his wife.  Carrie settled in the wing-backed chair across from them.  “I got a letter from my father today,” she announced.

              “Bad news?” Rose asked.

             
Carrie shrugged.  “It could be.  I really saw it more as a sign than anything else.”

             
“A sign?”  Moses asked.

             
Carrie nodded.  “My father filled me in on what’s going on.  I told him I didn’t ever want to feel so detached from current events again.  It’s all right being here on the plantation, but I don’t like feeling so separate from the rest of the world.  He’s been writing me letters every few days to keep me abreast.”  She raised the paper, looked for her place, then began to read. 

             
Our office received information today about one of the new bills to pass the House of the Northern Congress.  We do all we can to stay in touch with Union politics.  They are calling it the Crittenden Bill.  Basically, it asserts that the war has been forced on the country by Southern malcontents.  It also says the Federal government’s only aim in pressing on toward an assured final victory is to “Preserve the Union with all the dignity, equality and rights of the several states unimpaired.” 

             
Carrie looked up as she got to the end of the first page.  

             
“What’s all that really saying?” Moses asked.

             
Carrie frowned.  “What it’s saying is that the war the Union is fighting is being fought in such a way so as not to affect the institution of slavery in the slightest degree.”

             
“Then what’s the South fighting this war for?” Moses asked.  “I thought they were convinced the North was going to abolish slavery.  I thought that’s what they were fighting about.”

             
“The South doesn’t believe them,” Carrie responded.  “Politicians in the North are trying to duck away from the issue in hopes of ending the rebellion soon, but no one down here is buying it.  Here...”  Quickly she scanned the letter and picked up her place again. 

             
Only two of their senators had enough guts to be honest about what they really believe.  One was Congressman Riddle from Ohio.  I at least admire his honesty.  When someone tried to get him to change his vote, he let them have it.  Told them slavery was doomed to die, and every sensible man knew it.  He told them when it died it would not be simply voted out of existence - it would be abolished by convulsion, fire and blood.  He believes the convulsion is the war we are in now.  He wants the war recognized as the thing that will kill slavery. 

             
Like I said, I can admire the man’s honesty, but I pity his naiveté.  The South will fight to the bitter end to protect our rights.  Sooner or later, the rest of the Northern politicians will come out of the closet and admit their real intent.  Not that it matters - we down in the South have seen the truth for a long time.

             
Carrie put the paper down again. 

             
Rose was the first to speak.  “I thought the North wanted to see slavery end,” she said in a disappointed voice.

             
“A lot of people do,” Carrie said slowly.  “I just think right now their main focus is trying to restore the Union.  I still don’t think people up there realize how sacred the institution of slavery is down here.  How afraid people are of what will happen if it ends.  Or how determined the South is to fight what they perceive as forced control.”  

             
She shook her head then and leaned forward in her chair.  “I didn’t read that letter so that we could discuss politics.”

             
“I didn’t figure you did,” Moses said with an easy smile, his massive frame settling back in his chair.  “What’s going on inside that head of yours?”

             
“It’s time for y’all to escape!” she said firmly.  Rose and Moses both bolted upright and stared at her in shocked surprise.  She didn’t give them time to say anything.  “I’ve thought it all through.  I don’t think this war is over by a long shot, but right now the South seems to be winning.  They’re already tightening up on trying to control the slaves.  And they’ve brought on more militia to track down runaway slaves.  It’s only going to get worse - especially if they win.”  She paused.  “If the North wins, there is no assurance things will be any better.  If they’re not willing to abolish slavery, things might get worse if they try to appease the South.”  She shook her head.  “I think we need to move now to get you two to freedom.”

             
Moses was the first to break the shocked silence.  “How are you going to manage things around here if we leave?”

             
Carrie shook her head firmly.  She had thought about that, too.  “That doesn’t really matter.  That is my problem.”  Rose opened her mouth to interrupt, but she continued on.  “My family has stolen your freedom for too long.  What is important is that you be free.  Right now things are going our way here.  Sooner or later, my father is going to find out the truth.  I have no idea what will happen then.  We can find a way to get you out of here now.  I’m not so sure about later.” 

             
Rose finally broke in.  “We can’t leave you here alone, Carrie.  We
won’t
leave you here alone.  Our time will come.” 

             
Carrie gazed at her friend and recognized the determined tone in her voice.  It meant she was settling in on a decision and wouldn’t be moved.  She sighed, picked up the letter again, and began to read. 

             
The governor is calling for more men to help build the defenses for the city.  He is asking all slave owners to send slaves to help in the effort.  He has given us until the middle of October to finish the harvest and then he wants them sent.  Pick five that you think would perform the work best.  Make sure you send Moses.  His strength and size would be a welcome addition to the work force here.

             
Silence filled the room when she finished.  She looked up at her friend’s shocked faces and smiled sadly.  “You see.  It really is the best time.”

             
Rose sat quietly, tears pouring down her face. 

             
Carrie frowned and leaned forward to take her hand.  “I thought you would be excited,” she said, confused.  “You always told me you would never leave the plantation till your mama was gone.  Sarah is safe with John now.  There is nothing to keep you here.  It’s time for you to follow your dreams.”

             
Rose brushed at her tears and tried to smile.