Once and Again: Petal, Georgia, Book 1 (8 page)

She watched him, her emotions clear in her expression. He wanted to make her laugh again. Wanted her to watch him hungrily, the way she once did. Wanted her to trust him.

“I made a lot of mistakes. I was careless with your heart when I should have cherished it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I was wrong. I’m sorry because I didn’t respect you. I’m sorry because I lost you and not just as my girlfriend, but as a friend.”

She ate for a time after he finished his apology. An apology she’d have given anything to hear those years before. Never in her life had she hurt as much as she had when she saw him around after that night and he never said a word to her.

“You made me feel like what we had, like what I felt was a lie. It took me a long time to get over you. But we were broken up already. You were clearly not happy enough and we’ve both moved on.”

Ha.

“I’d like to try again. I’d like to see you, date you. We’re older now. I’m different than the jerk I was then, and you’re older and wiser too. I think we could take it slow and make it work this time. What do you say? We could start with a real date this Saturday. We could go dancing at the Tonk.”

There they sat and she liked him.
Still
. He was funny and charming and sweet even. He’d helped her with Chris, and his apology, though late, was genuine. She knew him enough to understand it in his words.

People made mistakes. She made them too. And she was so tired of avoiding him. But it wasn’t wise to let him back into her heart. He had too much power over her, and she hadn’t been lying when she told him it took her a long time to get over it. She never wanted to feel that kind of misery again. Ever.

“I accept your apology. But we can’t date.”

His gorgeous features darkened.

He was as alpha as they came. Used to getting his own way. It was gloriously sexy, but she had enough to manage. He was a man now, not even a young man in graduate school. He’d be even worse. Which would mean he was way hotter in bed, but she wasn’t going to think about that. Much. At all. Ever in the next ten minutes.

“You still don’t like being told no, I see.”

That broke his sour expression. “Why can’t we date?”

She was totally going to have to make up for the whopper she was about to tell. “First because I’m over you. Second, and far more importantly, because my brother is in your class. He’s got enough to deal with right now. The last thing he needs is to have anyone think he’s getting special treatment because you’re dating his sister. Or for him to worry you’ll retaliate if we broke things off.”

He growled a sigh, and her insides got all warm and gooey. She really needed to date nice men who didn’t growl.

“Do you really think I’d do that?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t have accepted your apology. But this is Petal. Gossip is as common as marshmallows in Jell-O salad. He’s had enough, don’t you think? My lands, the boy can’t even go out for a burger without people knowing his dad left his mom for a girl barely older than him. I can’t be part of anything that would harm him even more.”

“You said you were over me.”

“I am. Don’t smirk. What if your face freezes that way?”

He laughed and she did too. It felt so good to laugh with him after so long.

“I want you back, Lil. I’m telling you that up front. Just so you won’t be surprised when I get you back.”

It wouldn’t do to smile at him and encourage this silly behavior, but she did anyway because she’d clearly been dropped on her head as a child.

Pie arrived and she was glad for the interruption. And the pie of course.

“I need to get back home. I’m glad we cleared the air and all.”

She tried to pay half but he pushed the cash back her way. “I invited you, I’ll pay. I’ll walk you to your car too.”

Plenty of female attention landed on him as they made their way toward the door. That much hadn’t changed. It used to leave her feeling a little smug. That he was hers and they could look all day long but he wanted Lily Travis, not any of those other bimbos. And then she was wrong.

“I can get it from here,” she said once they’d arrived outside. The evening air was cool, and without even asking, he helped her into the coat.

“I’m sure you can. Where are you parked?” Bold as you please, as if she’d never spoken.

“Around the corner. On Ash.”

“Why you parking back there?” He held his arm out and she took it automatically. Once she’d done it, it would have been silly to let go. “It’s dark back there.”

“It was daylight when I parked. This is Petal. Main was packed.”

“You have a cell phone. Next time, text me and I’ll come get you.”

It was dark but quiet, and the moon overhead was beginning to rise. “I’ll do no such thing. And there won’t be any next time, Nathan.”

He took her keys and unlocked the door for her. “Just keep telling yourself that if it gets you through the day. But we both know that’s a bald-faced lie.” He stepped closer and her back hit the car.

She was looking for some stern words when he leaned that last distance between them and brushed his lips across hers.

All her stern internal reminders swept away when he pressed his body against hers and she found her fingers in his shirt, holding him to her. His hands slid up her sides, coming to rest at her back, just above her ass.

Her mouth opened on a sigh, and he swallowed the sound, his tongue slipping between her lips like a thief and then he owned her as if they’d never been apart.

She gave in and ran her fingers through his hair as he slid his tongue along hers. He tasted of tea and pie and man. She was lost in the sweet sensation of that kiss until he sucked on her tongue and her nipples hardened to the point of pain, throbbing in time with her clit.

Up the block, someone shut a door, and it was enough to reclaim her senses and put her hand on his chest to push him back a bit.

He broke the kiss and stared at her lips for long moments, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe.

“I want more of that mouth,” he murmured, bending to kiss the side of her jaw.

“I have to go home. I promised Chris I’d watch a movie with him.” Her voice was rusty. She licked her lips and he groaned again, putting some distance between them.

“Go on then. I’ll see you soon, Lily. We’re going to be friends once more, if I can’t have friends and then some.”

He’d have to be satisfied with that, she told herself as she drove home, because that’s all she had to give.

Chapter Six

Lily heard whispered talking and sat up in bed, listening hard.

Quickly, under cover of darkness she got some shoes on and pulled a robe over her pajamas.

It was Chris, on his phone.

She crept closer, not wanting to intrude, but damn it all, the boy had lied to her so often she wanted to be sure it wasn’t something she should worry about. And it was after midnight anyway.

“I can’t.” He paused. “No. Dude, she will totally hunt me down. No, not my mom. She’s so doped up half the time she wouldn’t even notice. Lily, my sister. Yes, yes the one who jumped the fence.”

Lily cringed at his words about their mother. Pamela had her good days, but she struggled through some bad ones too. It wasn’t right that Chris saw it enough to know what was happening.

“Are you fucking kidding me? No way. She’d hunt me down!”

One of her brows rose of its own accord as she listened to Chris arguing and wondered what it was over. Also, the F word? No. She wasn’t going to get worked up over a shit or damn here and there, but nuh uh no way.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.
No,
I have to go. The school calls Lily and she’ll find me.”

What he didn’t know was that she’d hooked him into her family phone network and could locate him that way. A friend in Macon kept track of her teenage daughter that way. If he cut school again she’d totally not only track him down, but drag him back to school by the scruff of his neck and not feel a damn bit bad.

He stood there under the moon until she made some noise and got his attention. “Why don’t you come up?” She pointed to her door, and he was about to argue but didn’t. “You want some hot chocolate? I got the kind with mini marshmallows.”

He nodded as he sat.

She fiddled around with the stove and got the milk heating before she turned her attention to him again. “Something you want to talk to me about?”

“What? Me? No.”

“Like say, why you’re outside at twelve thirty on a school night?”

“I needed some air. I didn’t leave the yard.”

“You’re not in trouble.” She brought out two mugs and got the cocoa ready for the hot milk. “I just thought you might want to share. I’m not entirely bad, you know. I might be able to help with whatever’s got you so wound up you need air so long after your bedtime.”

“I’m fine.”

She poured the milk and stirred, hoping she wasn’t messing the whole thing up.

Once she’d settled in at the table with him, she took a sip and forged ahead. “Mom’s sometimes a little influenced by her medication.”

He rolled his eyes. “She’s stoned. I’m not an idiot. I know what it looks like.”

Lily couldn’t argue. “And that makes you feel, what?”

“What are you a shrink now?”

“Nope. Just a girl whose mom is hurting like hell because her husband left her. A girl who sees her mother take too many pills just to make it through the day.”

He cut his gaze to her as he sipped the hot chocolate. “I suppose you’re going to say it’s okay for her to do it because she’s an adult.”

“No. I’m going to say I hate it. I think it sucks. I hate that she checks out, and I feel totally alone and helpless. I feel like I’m messing up with you. I resent it and I resent that Dad seems more interested in his teenage girlfriend than us.”

Chris blinked his eyes several times, clearly overcome with emotion. “Will she stop, do you think? Or will she be like this forever?”

“I hope not. It’s not getting worse, but not better either.”

“She fell yesterday and asked me not to tell you.” His bottom lip trembled and she hugged him.

“Would you like it if I talked to her about it? I mean, I’m here for good. I was thinking of buying a house here, but I think for now I’ll stay in this place. I’m fixing it up already anyway. That way I can keep an eye out. Maybe…well maybe we can get her help. Have her talk to someone. I don’t know. I’m flying blind too.”

“Would you? I don’t want to make her upset. He makes her upset enough. I know he was here with the girlfriend.” His lip curled and Lily couldn’t help but laugh.

“I call her that too. Yes, he was here. But don’t worry about it. I handled it. He loves you, Chris. It’s just…he’s not a fully formed person. He doesn’t do this stuff to deliberately hurt anyone.”

“He just does. Which hurts more. He doesn’t care enough about us to stop it. Well, maybe Nancy.”

She barely managed to stop from rolling her eyes at the mention of their sister’s name. “No, he hurts her too. She just handles it differently.”

“She told me I was a way for Mom to hold on to Dad. That’s why there are so many years between you and me.”

“Nancy is dumb. You know that, right? I think it was that Mom was new to mothering and has no siblings so she dropped Nancy on her head a lot. It’s really the best explanation I can think of. She wants more love than she wants to work for. I don’t know why she’s that way.”

“She’s mean to you.”

That was a way of putting it. “It’s her way and that’s why she’s alone. Don’t be like her, baby. She makes a choice to be that way. It doesn’t make it hurt less, she just makes other people hurt along with her. Don’t let Dad or Mom or anyone make you feel like that.”

He put his head on her shoulder, and she laid her cheek against his hair. “I’m here for you. I know you get mad because I push you so hard, but I’m doing it because I love you and I want you to succeed.”

“I know,” he mumbled, straightening. “But it still sucks.”

“Can’t win ’em all, kid. You want to sack out here on my couch?”

“You’d be okay with that?”

“Yeah. But I get up at six, just FYI.”

He groaned, but went to grab some blankets and a pillow from her linen closet just the same.

She was going to have to talk with her mother after all. Maybe she’d take a trip over to the counselor’s office that week to get some advice. But she was clearly the only adult working on all cylinders and it had to be done.

“Hey there, Mrs. Travis.” Beth walked up the sidewalk toward where Lily was working the flowerbeds with her mom and Chris. “Chris, you keep getting taller and pretty soon you’re gonna bump your noggin on the doorway.”

Chris ducked his head on a blush and a mumbled hello. Beth looked bright and lovely that day.

“You’re supposed to be at Tate and Matt’s right this very moment.” She put her hands on her hips, and Lily thought absently that she should get down to the salon to get a manicure that pretty.

“You are?” Her mother looked up from where she had Chris dividing some plants. “Why are you still here?”

Lily stood, dusting her knees off. She was still here because her mother had gone off on a little
woe is me
story about how she was alone all the time and how Nancy said Lily should be with the family more.

But if her mother wanted to play around, she’d take it. “I did call!”

“Yes, yes. But Tate made fried chicken, Lily. Do I need to repeat that?”

“Oh. Well then. I just need to get cleaned up. Take me ten minutes. Mom, why don’t I give you a ride over to church? They’re having that plant sale and I bet your help would be really appreciated.” They’d asked her a few times, including that morning at church, but she’d been embarrassed. Her friends really did appear to miss her though, and Lily knew that they’d help her get past this mess if Pamela would only let them.

“I think you should, Mom.” Chris stood and helped their mother up. Lily smiled at the sight of the kid she sometimes wondered if she’d lost forever. Plus she knew he hated yard work.

“Well, maybe so. It does tend to get busy after lunch.”

“Great. Why don’t you go get cleaned up and I’ll take you over when you’re ready.”