Once Upon a Cowboy (22 page)

She scrolled some more. “Ooh. I love this one.”

“Enough, Jess.”

“
The owner, Cole, got hold of the kids on the first morning of our stay, and by the end of the day, he had them riding, doing chores, and cooking dinner over the campfire. We hardly saw our kids all week because all they wanted to do was hang out with Cole.
”

Cole
fiddled with his beer bottle, uncomfortable hearing the words of praise out loud. “Are you done?” He raised his eyebrows and held out his hand for her phone.

“I think there’s one more I wanted to read you.” She tapped a couple of times.

“That’s enough. Really. I get it.”

She looked up. “Do you, though? Do you see a pattern here in all the ones you read? Your name is front and center in these
reviews, Cole. You’re the guy they associate with this place. You’re the guy who corrals their kids and gives them a vacation they’ll remember for a lifetime. You’re the guy who cures scaredy-pants women and has them booking next year’s vacation before they leave.”

“It’s a team effort, Jess.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t. But the teamwork happens mostly behind the scenes. Yeah, you all work hard
here. Yes, you have guys who help out with stuff, because you have to. This is a growing operation, and the three of you can’t possibly handle it by yourselves anymore.”

She paused. “But Cole. Surely you can see what I see here. You’re the face of Whisper Creek.
You’re
the reason they come back.”

He studied her for a moment, his eyes tracing the heart shape of her face, the dark brown depths
of her eyes, the lush fullness of her lips.

“Come here, cowgirl.” He took the risk, put the invitation out there, motioned for her to lie beside him against the hay. He’d give about fifty-fifty odds to her heading right back down the ladder, but he had to try.

He’d been waiting all night to have her alone, and watching her scroll through her stupid phone, watching her be all intent on making
sure he saw those reviews—it all just made him want her even more than he’d thought possible.

When he’d held her tonight on the dance floor, his mind had gone well past dancing, and he’d had to force himself back before he scared her silly. He’d loved having her on his arm, loved having her hold his hand, loved having people watch them cross the floor as a twosome.

He’d even loved the look of
blatant jealousy Marcy had flashed Jess as they’d passed her table. All night, he’d wanted to sneak Jess back to his cabin, or out to the stable, or off to the waterfall, but as much as he’d wanted to do that, he was more surprised to find that he loved being with her in front of three hundred guests.

He’d loved feeling like half of a couple, loved that every time she came near him, he just wanted
to touch her. Loved that when he
did
touch her, he didn’t see fear in her eyes anymore.

And now? Now that the dancing was done and the guests had gone home and the moon had risen? Now he just wanted to take her face in his hands, explore every curve with his fingertips, kiss her gently until she trusted him, opened to him, wanted him back.

His fingers practically hurt from holding back, but
he knew at this point, if there was any chance for him, it had to be her move. He didn’t know what had happened to leave her so skittish, but skittish was one emotion he did have experience with—and he knew all he could do was wait.

“Come here, Jess. Just be with me. No pressure.” He saw her eyes skitter, first left, then right, as she battled herself.
God, to be in her head, to know how to make
everything all right for her again.
But he could only do what he knew how to do. Could only do what came naturally.

He reached out his hand, kept his voice low and even.

“Trust me, cowgirl.”

Jess gulped, hoping he didn’t notice. She was so
damn
tempted. They’d just spent the day celebrating their best friends’ wedding. They were both single, and here they were, late at night, all alone and yes, crazy-hungry for each other. She knew that. Knew she wanted to get closer to him, wanted to give in to the feelings flying through her body, wanted to kiss him again.

So why wasn’t
she moving toward him? Why couldn’t she just let down her guard and go to him? It was
Cole,
for God’s sake. She was perfectly safe with him, wasn’t she? So why couldn’t she let him kiss her? Touch her? See where things might go?

Because.

Because Cole deserved better. He might sail through life on his charm and looks and sense of humor, but underneath all that bluster was a man who loved his
family, loved his land, loved his job. He was going to live out his years right at Whisper Creek, and be happy doing it. And when it was time, he’d want to pass the legacy on to his children.

Children.

Right?

“Cole?” She hated that her voice was shaky. “Where do you see yourself in—I don’t know—ten years? Six months ago you were ready to pack up and go. Are you really sure you want to stay
here now? Forever?”

He paused for a moment, then sat back up, looking a little defeated. Guilt stabbed at her for making him feel rejected. If he only knew how much she wanted him right now, in so many ways.

Just maybe not the ways she could deliver on.

He picked up his hat, spun it slowly on one wrist. “Forever’s a long time. But in ten years?” He sighed. “Well, given my track record right
now, I’ll probably be sitting here alone in this hayloft wondering what happened to my life.”

“Be serious.”

“God, Jess. I don’t know. Ideally? I guess I picture myself living here on the ranch, happily married with a bunch of kids and ponies.”

She nodded painfully.
Exactly.

“But here’s the thing. I’ve never once felt close enough to a woman to imagine her in that picture.” He paused, lifting
her chin so she had to meet his eyes. “Until you, Jess.”

She swallowed, couldn’t speak for a moment. Then, “Why me, Cole? Why do you think
I
could be part of that picture?”

He shrugged slowly. “Because you fit here—which sounds terribly romantic, right?” He smiled. “Jess, I feel like I’ve known you forever, and at the same time, I feel like you’re a mystery inside an enigma. And I’m just dying
to figure you out. Damn, woman. I can’t get
anything
done around here this week because I can’t
stop
thinking about you.”

He stopped. “But I have to admit, I’m having a real tough time figuring out how
you
feel.” He put up his hands. “And I know this is all new, and maybe it feels strange, and maybe you’re wondering if I’m just panicking because everybody else has their futures all mapped out
except for me, and I’m just grabbing for an available female, but that’s not it at all. I swear.”

Jess let a little laugh escape. “Well, that’s a relief.”

He reached for her hand, stroked it gently as he looked at her. “Do you trust me, Jess?”

“Of course I do.”

“I mean
really
trust me. Trust that I mean what I’m saying, and that I’d never do anything to hurt you?”

“I believe you, and I definitely
believe you’d never—never
mean
to hurt me. But honestly? I’m a lot more worried that I’d hurt
you
.”

“Not possible.”

She blew out a breath. “You have no idea.”

“Maybe we could give in to our smoking hot chemistry and see where things go? No pressure?”

His voice was light, but his eyes were intense in all the best ways, and it was all Jess could do not to melt right into his body.

He lay back
against the hay, pulling her ever so gently. “Kiss me, Jess. You kiss
me
this time.”

She wanted to resist, wanted to flee the hayloft as fast as her legs would take her, but as he lay there, vulnerable and so, so gorgeous, she felt herself lean toward him. Felt herself responding to the pull of his fingers, felt herself sliding her body next to his as she raised her other hand to trace the curves
and lines of his face.

Cole held still, so still, as she explored. He closed his eyes, one steady hand on her back, but not an ounce of pressure to do more, to get closer. He just let her run her fingers through his thick hair, sighed quietly as she traced one ear with her fingernail.

He was so…beautiful. She ran her fingers down his arm, linked them with his, drew their hands between their
bodies.

And still he waited. He didn’t pull her closer, didn’t reach up to kiss her, didn’t pressure her in the slightest bit.

She had to kiss him. There were a hundred reasons she shouldn’t, a thousand reasons she’d regret it, but right now, right here, on the hay in the moonlight with this perfect man, she couldn’t
not
kiss him.

She leaned closer, touched his lips with a whisper-soft kiss,
then another. His eyes fluttered open at the first, and then he smiled as she kissed him a third time. Still he lay motionless, one hand steadying her, one hand clasped with hers.

She shifted her body, angled closer, hungered for more. Was this what it was supposed to feel like? This—this crazy desire to mesh every inch of her skin with his? This longing to have his arms encircle her and hold
her tightly, to rock her against him until they could bear it no longer?

She pulled her hand loose from his, traced his lips with her fingertips, then linked her fingers with his once more as she kissed him again. In a move so bold she hardly dared to believe it was her doing it, she pushed his hand backward beside his head, pinning it there as she shifted her body so her chest touched his.

He groaned in response, but still let her lead. “You’re killing me, Jess.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. She swore she could sense every muscle in his body holding taut, trying not to scare her.

“I’m happy to die, if this is what death looks like.”

She pulled away and his eyes opened, his arm still steady around her back. “Kiss me, Cole. Please.”

“I’m perfectly happy just like this.” He reached
up to brush hair away from her face. “I could stay here forever like this and be perfectly happy.”

“I want you to.”

He nodded, his eyes intense. “I will stop whenever you say so. You call the shots here, Jess.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it. I need to be sure you know that.”

“I do. I know.” She drew his hand to her mouth, kissed his palm, and he groaned as he pulled her closer.

When his lips touched
hers this time, it was all she could do not to moan in pleasure. They were sure but gentle, demanding in the hottest, most tempting way. She shifted upward, then slid to sit at his waist, her legs on either side of his body, her fingers intertwined with his. As she pushed his hands downward on either side of his head, she felt his hips respond by rising toward her.

His mouth opened under hers,
and she felt herself sinking deeper, deeper into the kiss as their bodies found a sweet, slow rhythm. He pulled his hands loose, slid them slowly up her thighs and around to the back. He held gentle pressure, the movements of his tongue reflecting those of his body as he stroked and caressed her.

His hands slid upward, under her dress, calloused roughness on her smooth skin, and she sighed against
his mouth. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, his hands circling upward, downward, making her catch her breath as she tried to deal with the dizzying sensations.

For the first time in her life, she felt a slow upward spiraling as he touched her. She pressed closer as he squeezed her, she sighed into his mouth as his thumbs grazed her breasts. So this is what it was supposed to be
like.
This
is what it felt like to be cherished, to be held like precious glass.

He rocked her sideways, held her head as he lay her on her back this time, ran his fingers through her hair and down her jaw as he kissed her. He was close—so close his heat was hers. His touches were gentle, skittering over her skin and leaving it tingly and burning at the same time.

He slowly, so slowly unbuttoned
one jeweled button on the dress, and though she expected it to panic her, all she felt was desire. He unbuttoned a second, and then a third, placing kisses up her jawline, rendering her unable to even think for the sensations flying through her body.

But then he released the fourth button.

And slid his hand slowly under her dress, onto her stomach.

In what seemed like a single movement, she
clamped her hand on top of his, pulled the dress closed, and wriggled away from him.
Oh God. Oh no.

“Jess?” He reached a hand out to touch her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

God.
If he only knew. If only she could tell him. She was
supposed
to be telling him.

“I—I have to go. I should go. I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“Hey.” He sat up beside her. “What happened?” His voice was so gentle that it made her
want to cry, but all she could do was try to pick the hay out of her hair and redo her buttons, while trying to quiet her raggedy breathing.

“I’m sorry, Cole. I—I just can’t do this. It’s not fair to you.”

“How is this not fair to me?”

“It just isn’t. I don’t think I can explain it.”

He studied her, and with his hair all mussed up and his eyes still smoky hot, it was all she could do not to
lay him back down and kiss him into next week.

“We can stop, Jess.” His voice was quiet, reminding her of the one he’d used with the scared woman last week. “We can absolutely stop.”

“I know. I know we can. God, Cole. Why are you so—”

He put his hands up, and she hated the hurt that crossed his face. “Why am I so what?”

“So—God—so…perfect.” Jess tried not to let the tears boiling behind her
eyes escape. “You’re so
damn
perfect.”

He smiled sadly. “Then I don’t see the problem.”

She stood up, unsteady. “I promise, you’ll thank me.”

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. I just need to—go. Just for a while. I don’t know.”

“Don’t run, Jess. Please don’t run.”

He reached out for her, and it took every fiber in her body not to lean back toward him and melt into his chest. “Don’t go,
cowgirl. Whatever it is, we can figure it out. We can fix it.”

“We can’t fix this, Cole. It’s bigger than both of us, I promise.”

“Impossible. Nothing’s that big.”

Jess took a deep breath, trying to let it out slowly. Instead, her body shook. She couldn’t do this to him. She couldn’t follow him up to a hayloft, touch him, kiss him, want him—and then leave him with no explanation. It was cruel.
He’d done nothing to deserve it.

“I’m sorry, Cole. I never should have come up here with you. I never should have kissed you. I never should have—”

“Never should have what?” His voice was hurt, choked, tender.

Never should have fallen in love with you.