One and Done (Two Outta Three #2) (14 page)

“Now this is more like it.” I nodded my head in approval.

Drunk with the remnants of fantasy, arousal, and the satisfaction of reconnecting with my old friend, I reached out and spun her toward me. Her eyes widened as she fell against my body.

Slow down, Jesse.

Pulling the reins a bit, I yelled out, “It’s going to be midnight soon. Any resolutions?”

Her face twitched slightly, her eyes darkening. “Oh, you know, same old, same old. Eat better, exercise more. How about you?”

“Well, for starters, I want to pay back all debts.”

“What do you mean? Oh!”

I couldn’t help myself and tightened my grip around her even more, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.

So much for slowing down.

Her scent, a sweet mix of strawberry shampoo, light body spray, and sweat, was almost intoxicating. It was dizzying, almost rendering me speechless.

Gulping, I tilted my head closer to her. “First of all, I told you I was going to make up for ditching you during homecoming. I guess a gaudy nightclub is the closest thing to it.”

Rocky’s arms tensed under my grip. I looked down and noticed a troubled expression on her face. Feeling fantasy crumble away, I jarred myself from my trancelike state and pulled away. “Rocky, what’s wrong?”

Her cheeks paled. “I…”

The music cut and speakers squealed with the DJ’s annoying voice. “Time for the countdown everyone! Ten, nine, eight…”

Shaking my head, I ignored the outbursts surrounding me. There was only one thing that deserved my attention, and she was gnawing nervously on her bottom lip. “Rocky, what’s wrong?”

“ONE!”

Shyly, Rocky lifted her face and whispered, “Happy New Year.”

Did they light fireworks indoors? No, it couldn’t be.

It wasn’t.

My insides burst open once Rocky’s soft lips pressed against mine. After a night of fantasizing, yearning, and lusting for her, I easily surrendered to her touch. Unfortunately, reality’s ugly face was once again waiting to pounce.

I’ll be leaving Bethel Falls again.

What the fuck was I doing? Did I really think one night would change anything? I’d be leaving Rocky behind again and then what? It wouldn’t be long until we’d find ourselves miles apart leading two separate lives again. As much as I wanted Rocky—as much as I wanted everything she wanted—I couldn’t desert her again. Stephanie was right, I’d only hurt her again. Well, history was not about to repeat itself. This time I knew that I loved her enough to finally let her go for good.

This has gone too far, Jesse. You should never have come back.

I loosened her hands from my neck and stepped away from her, feeling a sudden shock of sadness without her lips on mine. It really had gone too far. I was just like my mother—selfish beyond belief.

“Um, Rocky? I, uh…” What could I say to her? There was no way she’d understand and definitely no way she’d want to hear my reasoning. Feeling lost, I found myself heading toward the exit, leaving her on the dance floor. It wasn’t until I felt the cool winter air on my face that I realized the magnitude of what I just did.

I’d already gone and left her behind.

Chapter 20

“What the heck did I just do?” I punched my steering wheel, blasting the horn. The high pitched scream cut through the silent night, startling a couple playing tonsil hockey next to my car. They jumped about five feet and began yelling obscenities at me. Not in the mood, I shouted back, “Get a room!”

Muttering my own curse words under my breath, I began my trek home. Though my house wasn’t too far from the strip, it felt as if the journey home lasted a whole day. My thoughts jumped around erratically as I replayed the night’s events in my mind.

I got what I wanted, right? Rocky liked me back. Her feelings never went away after all. Plus, Ethan was definitely not on her mind. So what? What good would it be? We’d only end up messing each other’s lives once again.

“Ugh! I wish I had someone to talk to!” I gritted my teeth, entering my house. My mother’s coughs greeted me, but judging by the lack of crass remarks I figured she was asleep. Trudging to my room, I pulled out my phone and skimmed through the contacts, feeling more and more deflated when I realized I had no real friends I could call to vent or even wish a Happy New Year.

It wasn’t as if I hadn’t met any new people in Charleston. However, having grown used to people pushing me away, I always kept my new friends at arm’s length. Besides, every new friendship I made seemed a bit thin and artificial. None of them held the weight I ever felt with my high school buds. Therein lay my problem.

Sighing, I sucked it up and called the one person I knew would listen to my stupid problems. Swiping the screen, I pressed my thumb against his name, which was incidentally the only contact in my ‘Favorites.’ He answered in one ring.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Happy New Year!” He struggled to shout above the laughter, squeals of delight, and chatter behind him.

That’s right. Tyler’s Tavern was hosting an NYE party. How did I even forget?

I swallowed and took a breath. “Happy New Year.”

There was a slight pause followed by the sound of a closing door. Dad must have locked himself in the janitor’s closet or bathroom, considering we had no other private rooms in the establishment.

“What’s wrong?” Dad asked in a worried tone. “Is your mom…Are you locked up…Is everyone okay?”

I smirked, feeling unjustifiably irritated. “She’s fine and no, I’m not in jail. Seriously, Dad?”

He sighed and replied in a sheepish tone. “Old habits die hard. It is one of the most alcohol-fueled nights of the year.”

My eyes darkened. “Well, that habit of mine died almost four years ago.”

“Since I doubt you’re calling your old man just to wish me Happy New Year, would you care to tell me what happened?”

I scratched my head, trying to gather my thoughts. Despite our improved relationship, discussing sex, girls, and love still seemed unbearably awkward. “I…uh…um…do you remember Rocky?”

“Rocky…” His voice trailed off. “Oh, you mean Raquel Rossi?”

I nodded, which was stupid seeing as we were speaking on the phone. “Uh…I…she…”

“What did you do to her?” He sounded exhausted.

“Really?” I snorted. “What makes you think I did anything to her? Do you really think that low of me?”

“You can’t really blame me for figuring that history had once again repeated itself.”

“Well, it hasn’t,” I snapped in annoyance.

“Okay…so what happened?”

“She kissed me.”

Silence.

After a few seconds, I called out, “Dad? You still there?”

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I was just trying to think of an appropriate, fatherly reply.”

“Well, hate to break it to you, but my life was full of inappropriateness, so by all means say whatever you want.”

“Okay, to put it bluntly—why is it a bad thing? Thought young men your age would love to have a pretty girl to celebrate the holiday with.”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“Guess not…”

“Dad, we both know I’ll be going back there. My whole life is now in Charleston. Why lead her on if I’m just going to leave her again?”

“And leaving is bad because?” he wondered.

“Gee, of course you’d ask a question like that. Leaving was always easy for you,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I cringed, waiting for his reaction, which surprisingly wasn’t that bad.

“Listen, son. What I meant to say is that if things—relationships—are meant to work out they will. Obviously, I tried hard to make my marriage with your mother work, and do you know why?”

I crossed my arms and groaned in exasperation. “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“Because it wasn’t meant to be. I know I’ve given you some pretty shitty advice in the past―”

“Yeah you have.”

“—but what if you’re back in Bethel Falls for a reason? What if you’ve grown up enough to finally make it work? You remember what I said back then, right?”

I nodded. “Of course. You said Rocky was a bad influence.”

“No, I didn’t mean—ugh, forget it.”

Though I had a barrage of rebuttals, I decided to keep my mouth shut.

“Take me, for example. With Teresa it’s different. It’s easy. That’s how it is supposed to be. Seeing as how you’ve only been there for two weeks and already you and Rocky are making waves, maybe…”

“Maybe what?” I muttered.

“Maybe she’s your easy. Long distance relationships can work, son. Moving back to Charleston really isn’t the worst problem you can have.”

“I beg to differ,” I replied glumly. “Long distance relationships only work for people who don’t screw things up on a regular basis. What’s the guarantee that I won’t fuck things up now?”

“I thought therapy helped,” Dad replied quietly.

I blinked in surprise. “It did…in a way.” Sighing, I threw my body against my bed and rubbed my eyes. “It helped me realize my shortcomings and the fact that I am my own shortcoming.”

Dad snorted. “Hate to say it, but you’re giving yourself too much credit.”

“Gee thanks,” I replied dully.

“You do realize people have free will, right?”

“Uh, yeah?” What was he getting at?

As if explaining the most obvious thing in the world, he said slowly, “Maybe you didn’t drag her down after all and maybe she didn’t drag you down as I previously thought. Maybe she liked doing all those things, same as you did.”

“I guess…” I was still left utterly confused.

He pressed on. “And maybe she’s woman enough now to finally show you what she’s been trying to all along. She’s a stronger person, and she’s in control of her destiny the same way you’ve always been in control of yours.”

“I never thought she was weak. I just thought…”

“You thought too little of her, as did I,” he admitted. “Give her more credit than you have been. She sounds like she knows what she’s doing.”

Chapter 21

Rossi’s Novelties was closed on New Year’s Day, and I couldn’t have been happier. It gave me a chance to reevaluate everything and to prep myself for my first encounter with Rocky. It also gave me ample opportunity to sit down with my mother. I really wasn’t looking forward to spending so much time with her, but like she said, picking this nurse was a two-person job. God be with whomever we chose.

I placed my newly brewed mug of coffee down on the kitchen table, causing the old thing to wobble. It was the same table from my childhood, and guessing from the scratches, scraped paint, and other stains littering the monstrosity, she’d really given it a run for its money.

“Used and abused. I know the feeling.”

Mom staggered toward the chair opposite of me and plopped down, eyeing me expectantly. Her tank ticked ominously, like a metronome guiding the rhythm of her wandering gaze.

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the burn from her glare. “What are you looking at?”

“I was just thinking that you look more and more like your father each day.” She paused and began to cough, pulling at the translucent skin hanging from her throat. “How is he, by the way? I never thought to ask.”

“He’s fine.”

Mom remained quiet, as if waiting for me to say more. When she realized that was about as deep as my answer would get, she muttered in a hoarse tone, “Well, let’s get this over with so you can abandon me just like he did.”

If auras were visible, mine would have been ripped and stained with bright red. Palms clammy, I opened and closed my fist. “Are you being serious right now?”

“You and your dad are cut from the same cloth. Both selfish pigs.” She crossed her arms across her chest, wincing as her elbow knocked into her tank. She was never one to show physical pain, and that one action alone disarmed me. However, I was not going to go down without a fight. Not anymore.

“Selfish? You want to talk about being selfish? Who was it who cared more about getting high than watching her own son? Better yet, who cared more about feeling buzzed than salvaging her own marriage?” I was struggling not to yell, but miserably failing. Years’ worth of pent up aggression had finally burst from its prison.

Her thin, almost translucent lips remained pressed together, exaggerating the cracked lines surrounding her mouth. Her dark eyes seemed almost black, void of any expression.

Realizing that arguing with my mother was like picking a fight with a two-year-old, I slammed down hard on the table and shoved a packet of papers toward her. “Here. I took the liberty of skimming the list without you. I circled the ones that I like. Choose one—just one—from that list. That’s kind of picking together, right?”

Scowling, she threw the papers to her side, watching as the pile floated toward the ground like graceful feathers wafting in the air. It almost looked beautiful, but unfortunately nothing in the Tyler household ever stayed beautiful for long. Take my mother, for instance. Had it not been for her recreational drug use and alcohol abuse, I could almost imagine her as a vibrant brunette, full of life and promise. I gazed upon her wrinkled, leathery skin sadly. She wasted her life away, plain and simple.

I’d never let myself do that again.

“Pick who you want, I don’t give a fuck anymore.” I jumped to my feet, nearly knocking the rickety table over. “I’ll be out of your life for good. Count on it.”