One and Done (Two Outta Three #2) (15 page)

Chapter 22

The winter weather was annoying the crap out of me. Every moment in Bethel Hills was like tempting hypothermia or at the very least inviting pneumonia to set in. The atmosphere was dreary—grey with no hint of winter sun. Even the darkened trees seemed to cry out, begging for warmth.

I pulled into the Texas-sized parking lot of Rossi’s, careful not to drift along the icy asphalt, another effect of Jack Frost’s wrath. Setting my car in park, I let out a soft groan when I spotted Rocky’s sedan sitting primly toward the front. “Of course. Why wouldn’t she be here already?”

One hesitant step after another, I approached the store’s main doors. Through the foggy glass I could make out one dim light shining from inside.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

Lifting a gloved hand, I knocked softly, jarring the condensation loose. I stepped back, half-heartedly watching a makeshift race between two separate water droplets. By the time they reached the bottom of the doorframe, I was basically a popsicle.

“C-come on, R-r-rocky, I know you’re in t-t-t-here.” My teeth chattered against one another painfully.

I knocked again, this time louder and more insistent, but once again I was met with no answer. Knock after knock, nothing. Then finally, after the umpteenth time, I spotted Rocky dragging herself toward the front of the store. Judging by the horrified look on her face, she was feeling about as awkward as I was. She opened the door, but failed to lift her gaze to meet mine.

The day’s gonna suck with both of us feeling uncomfortable. Might as well try to alleviate the situation.

“Damn, girl!” I joked, jumping inside. “It’s freezing outside! What are you trying to do? Freeze my balls off or something?”

She gaped at me as if I had just spoken a foreign language, briefly eyeing me in suspicion.

I decided to continue playing dumb. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

She bit the corner of her mouth, causing her bottom lip to plump toward the side. My gaze dropped down, eyeing the tender pink skin. Proudly, I reminded myself I had kissed those lips just two nights before.

“I sort of thought things would be awkward between us,” she admitted, still shielding her eyes from mine.

“Why? Because you finally kissed me after almost ten years?” I blurted out, still entranced by her bubble gum lips.

“Excuse me?” She was put off, that’s for sure, and quickly made a beeline for the cash wrap.

Acting purely on impulse, I chased after her and replied, “C’mon, I always knew you sort of liked me. Surprised you waited so long.”

She paled. “I…I…uh…wait…what?”

“I’m not as dense as you always thought I was. I’m actually smarter than I look,” I said matter-of-factly.

“I never thought you were dense,” she snapped.

“Sure.”

The bad thing about winter is that though it is icy as hell outside, indoors was a different story. The combination of warm air along with the feeling of mild embarrassment and awkwardness made my skin feel as if it were on fire. To make matters worse, Rocky’s gaze practically burned a hole through my skin! I stripped off my jacket, fully aware that I was dripping in sweat.

Way to admit guilt there, asshole.

Rocky finally tore her gaze off of me and sneered, “Why are you acting so nonchalant about this?”

I blinked in surprise. “I’m not acting like anything. I’m being normal. Why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m mortified,” she admitted.

That makes two of us.

“Why?” I asked, not knowing how else to respond.

“I kissed you!” Her voice suddenly lowered, muffling the distinct pain dripping from her tone. “Then you walked away.”

Feeling guilty, I gulped, feeling as if my throat was lined with shards of glass. How was I going to walk out of this one?

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Really sorry. “I guess I was just caught a bit off guard. It was wrong of me to walk away from you.” Did I mention I was sorry?

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” she whispered almost so quietly that I couldn’t hear.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. Her face contorted, making her appear as if she was deep in thought. She lifted her pale painted nails to her mouth and began nibbling at the edges. “You have to admit if things weren’t already weird between us before, I certainly expect them to be weirder this time around.”

“Things weren’t weird between us.” It was a blatant lie. We both knew it.

“Really? Not weird? You wouldn’t talk to me for the first two days you were here,” she argued.

Gripping my jacket tightly, I wrung the thick material between my hands in frustration. How could I go about apologizing to her? I was playing games and I knew it, but I just felt so lost—I didn’t know how to proceed with her! Every time I felt as if I could move forward, something reminded me that I needed to hold back. I was definitely running circles around Rocky, but there was no way I could explain to her—let alone myself—why my feelings were so confused.

Right, wrong, devil, angel. She was the yin to my yang and always had been. Unfortunately, this devil still felt as if he didn’t deserve the angel.

My shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “Okay, fine. I guess that’s a fair assumption.”

“I guess I’m not as dense as you thought,” she muttered. “So care to tell me why the icy patch between us? Honestly, I was wondering why we didn’t cover the topic when we had burgers, but I guess I was just happy we were hanging out and didn’t want to press it.”

There were so many reasons, but somehow I knew they’d all hurt her. Choosing a truth that was less painful, I answered, “I guess I was a little scared to see you again.”

“Why?” she asked in disbelief.

“Not comfortable telling you that.”

“Oh my gosh! Are we back to that again?” She jammed her fingers into her keyboard and then shook her head in amused exasperation. “Wait, what the hell am I doing? I already clocked in. Shit.”

Once again falling back on humor, I let out a strained laugh. “Guess I still can get your panties in a twist.”

Her answering glare was frightening.

Okay, maybe that was a bad idea. Clearing my throat, I calmed my tone. “Honestly, I’m proud that you kissed me. I always wondered if you had the guts.”

She paused. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I could always tell you liked me a bit…” As soon as the words left my mouth, a lightbulb flicked off in my head. I knew exactly how to let her go. I didn’t want to, but I knew it was necessary to save both our sanities. My voice came out, sounding like a distant echo. “I just thought those feelings were misplaced.”

“Misplaced?”

That was when the word vomit started. Wait, it wasn’t even word vomit. It was flat out bullshit. Pungent, fly-infested bullshit.

“You were bored!” Just like that, the same mask I wore throughout high school was once again placed firmly across my face. Back when I was younger, I easily pushed people out of my life as a sense of self-preservation. Just because I was older didn’t mean I still couldn’t do so. Placing a cold look on my face, I remarked, “I was the high school bad boy. What naïve school girl wouldn’t fall for that?”

She slammed her hand against the counter, causing me to jump. “I’ll have you know that I was never naïve.”

“Never, huh?” I smirked.

“Give me one example.”

“You were bored, Rocky. You were too nice and too good to be doing half the stuff you did with me. Skip class, sneak out and party—it wasn’t in your nature.”

“If that’s the case, what do you think is in my nature? You’re basically calling me a wet blanket,” she scoffed.

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” I nodded my head sincerely. It was one of her most redeeming qualities. In a world full of drama, nothing felt better than something calm and predictable.

Still scowling, she shot back, “Now that you’re on the subject of being bad, why don’t we talk about what a horrible friend you’ve been? First cutting me out from your life with no reason and now insulting me.”

Ouch, okay, maybe we’ve gone too far.

Letting her go didn’t necessarily mean making her hate me. Deciding to reel it back a little, I pushed forward, leaning into her personal space. “Horrible, huh? What else do you think is bad, Rocky?”

She gulped. “I don’t know. War, famine?”

“That’s not what I meant.” My voice came out surprisingly deeper.

“If you’re talking about the kiss, I obviously think it’s bad now! I never should have done it.” Her eyes dropped down, avoiding mine.

My face and my heart couldn’t help but soften. “Like I said, I’m glad you did.”

“Oh? Why?”

“I’m not comfortable divulging that info.” Noticing the look of annoyance on her face, I quickly added, “And I’m not talking about the kiss.”

“Then what are you talking about?”

Her face grew pinker as the seconds ticked by. Fighting the urge to warm my cold hands with her cheeks, I took a slight step back. “I admit that it’s been off between us. Maybe that kiss was a way to put us back on the right track. You know, get back where we used to be.”

“I thought you said this wasn’t about the kiss.”

“Well, maybe a bit of it is,” I admitted.

“Fine, whatever.” She flicked her wrist around and sighed. “So where did we used to be, Jesse? And how can such a mortifying mistake make everything better?”

This was it. It was time to sever ties. “It’ll allow us to be Rocky and Jesse again! To be the two musketeers…err…plus Stephanie.”

“I’m not following. How is that stolen kiss supposed to make us friends?”

Biting the bullet, I said the words that I never wanted to speak. I spoke the words that I thought needed to be proclaimed to shield her from hurt—from me. It was all a part of my fucked of plan, but it still hurt like shit to do.

Grin and bear it, Jesse. Grin and bear it.

“It helped you realize that you never liked me to begin with, right?”

She frowned in disbelief.

“You just liked the idea of being with the bad boy. You know, because you were always a bad girl trying to come out. Now that we finally did the ‘forbidden,’ you realize your fantasy was better than reality. Of course you always did care about me as a friend as well, and that’s what I want to get back to.”

As the lies spilled out of my mouth, I found myself beginning to believe them. I coaxed and urged her on my imaginary trip, willing her to join my fallacy.

We both needed to face the truth. She had Ethan. I had my restaurant. She had Stephanie. I had…myself. We weren’t two peas in a pod anymore. We never were. We were two separate entities and the sooner we realized it, the better it would be for both of us. The longer we danced this waltz of delusion the longer it would take us to heal. We could never be “Rocky and Jesse” again. In fact, it was something we never were.

I must have stunned her into silence. She stood quietly and looked as if she wasn’t even blinking. Riding the waves of momentum, I continued, “We’ve finally gotten past your old feelings, and because you realize that you regret it, we can just move forward…err…move back…um, you know what I mean.”

The smile I wore on my face felt like one of those masks from Classic Greek theater. However, I wasn’t sure which of the two I brandished. Was I manic? Or was I basking in my darkness of outright grief?

Rocky finally moved from her catatonic state. She bit her lip and looked down pathetically, kicking at the floor. “Just so you know, I don’t do shit like that. Stealing kisses and stuff, I mean.”

“Ah, this boring prude thing is just an act,” I chided. “You can drop it around me, you know.”

“Who are you calling a prude?”

“Certainly not you. You wouldn’t have tried to suck my face off if you were,” I joked. Noticing her look of annoyance, I quickly wiped away my smile.

“I was just caught in the moment. You know, New Year’s night and everything.” She narrowed her eyes. “By the way, you’re wrong. It’s not putting us back on the right track. If anything, it put us back further than when we started because you are seriously annoying me right now.”

“Caught in the moment?” I looked at her incredulously. “Are you serious? What moment was that? A cheap sweaty night club with watered down drinks and lame music? Oh yeah, that was such an awesome moment, Rocky.” Curiosity suddenly getting the best of me, I asked, “Hey, is that why you only like tips? You have to be in a certain ‘moment’ or whatever?”

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. I definitely crossed a line.

“You’re such an asshole.”

I held my hands up in defense. “I’m not trying to offend you or anything, but now I can see why you’re so weird with Ethan.”

“Really? You feel a need to bring him up again?” she practically groaned.