One and Done (Two Outta Three #2) (19 page)

I rubbed my hands down my face and took an exasperated breath. “Like I said, I was nervous. I didn’t know what you thought of me and that nervousness was justified the moment I saw you for the first time. You looked as if you were horrified to see me.”

She blinked wildly. “No, I wasn’t! I was…”

“What?”

“Nervous too,” she just about whispered.

My eyes widened and I burst into laughter. “Well, if I had known that it certainly would have made my life easier.”

The small smile on her face quickly vanished. “You would have known me if you never shut me out.”

“Rocky—”

“No, let me finish. If you were so afraid of me triggering you and bringing you back down, what was the deal with you trying to make me bad? What was the deal with messing with me?”

My face twisted in agony. “I guess…I guess…”

“Enough with all the secrets, Jesse.” She snapped two fingers in the air, the corners of her mouth pulled down in a frown. “You aren’t the only one who grew into their big boy pants. If you have something to say to me, just say it. This isn’t some stupid art critic tearing me down; it’s my best friend confusing me. I need some clarification before I go crazy.”

I pulled at my hair as if to coax me along a beaten path, which is exactly what I felt like—a battered horse trying to hobble my way back to safety. “I guess I wanted to reconnect with you so bad that at that point I didn’t care anymore, okay? I wanted so much to feel what we used to have that I figured if, that even for a bit, we reverted back to what we used to be, things would be good between us. And…”

“Yes?”

My vision darkened at the edges. Being honest wasn’t always my strong suit. “When your dad gave me the job he made me promise not to drag you down again. He told me you were a good girl and remained one after I left. I guess it took that moment to realize I was the one who suckered you into all the trouble we got into. In some stupid corner of my mind I thought that maybe if I proved you did have that bad girl in you all along then I wasn’t so bad after all. I wasn’t the only one to blame.”

“Well, that’s kinda selfish.”

“What was I supposed to do, Rocky?” I demanded.

“I don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t have thrown genitalia at my face?” she hissed back.

I glanced around horrified, certain that one of my prep cooks or dishwashers overheard her. “Can you keep it down? You do realize we’re at my job, right?”

“Like those rubber dildos weren’t showcased around mine?” She rolled her eyes and sneered. “Stop throwing double standards at me.”

I sighed, eyeing a cook who was obviously eavesdropping. “I’m sorry. I guess I just got caught up in the moment.”

“Funny, I remember saying that same line to somebody and not being believed.”

“About that…”

“Can we not talk about it right now?” she cut me off. “Can we just focus on why you were messing with me?”

I still couldn’t believe that she didn’t get it, though I really couldn’t blame her for still being pissed at the whole sex toy debacle. “Because we had fun! Because it felt like old times! Because even though you acted horrified I saw the hint of happiness in your eye each time we busted each other’s chops. You liked it as much as I did. You looked happier than you ever did when Ethan was around.” I gulped, needing to ask the one question jumping into the forefront of my brain. I didn’t know if I wanted to know the answer, but like water to a thirsty man I needed it badly. “Do you love him?”

She stared back at me stunned. “What?”

“Do you love him?”

She flinched. “I don’t know. It’s a little too soon for that, don’t you think?”

I knew I was pressing my luck, but I needed to call it as I saw it. “You know he’s not good for you, right?”

“Why not?”

Was she being serious right now?

“Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve been telling you?” I waited for a response, but when I didn’t receive one I groaned in exasperation. “Fine. Do you want a tour?”

“Wait, what?” She looked at me as if I had grown two heads.

“Of my restaurant. This conversation is a bit heavy. I think we need a break.”

Chapter 28

I wasn’t sure if fate was throwing me a bone or somehow still fucking me over, but somehow in the few minutes we walked around the restaurant a huge snowstorm hit Bethel Falls and when I say huge, picture the abominable snowman taking refuge from Jack Frost. It was that horrible.

As I fought an internal battle between hormones, fear, happiness, and outright shock at the prospect that Rocky would have to sleep over at my apartment, she stared blissfully at the sketch hanging toward the back of my restaurant. It was the picture—her picture—that I stole from the art department. I hung the sketch in my restaurant not only because it reminded me of Rocky, but also because it reminded me not to be so reckless. Sometimes doing things to impress someone else could backfire on you. Impulsivity control wasn’t always my strong suit and this picture reminded me of that. Ironically, I was now faced with what had to be the biggest test of my impulsivity. Rocky would be staying at my place…I needed to be careful.

“You ready?”

“For what?” She quickly looked away from the sketch, her head snapping in my direction like a rubber band.

“I guess my restaurant isn’t the only thing we’ll be touring tonight,” I had the audacity to joke. “Let’s get some pizza and head over to my apartment.”

“Your apartment,” she repeated in a blank tone.

“Are you my echo?” I strained to keep the smile on my face, but I was nervous as hell. Rocky didn’t say anything more and abruptly turned toward the door.

Shit. Tonight was gonna be some test.

***

Do you know those moments in life when the air around you feels so thick in awkwardness that you could almost cut through the tension with a butter knife? Those moments don’t hold a pickle to our “cozy pizza dinner.”

I took my time, biting into each piece slowly and carefully, acting as if I were savoring every morsel of pepperoni. I was stalling, trying hard to distract myself from a subject that was bound to come up—sleeping arrangements. I wasn’t stupid. I knew Rocky probably wanted nothing to do with me at this point. I’ve pulled her through the ringer, playing with her mind and emotions since high school. Yet I was a man, and as a man I could not help the visceral reaction that catapulted inside of me every time I looked into those big brown eyes of her.

In another world I’d be looking into those eyes while her legs were wrapped around my waist and her arms around my neck. I’d lean forward and press kisses against her clavicles, working my way down to her breasts and then further to…

Fuck! What was I doing?

Throat suddenly feeling parched, I practically shouted, “Did you want something else to drink?”

“I’m sorry?” Rocky jumped. Shit. Of course I’d startle her.

Racking my brain for a response, I heard myself say, “I only have water here. I forgot to ask if you wanted a beer or something.”

“I don’t drink like that.”

Good girl.

“Funny, me too.” I reached for a napkin, rubbing the square paper hard against my skin. I figured any momentary sting of pain may shock my body enough so that I wasn’t sporting a chub at half-mast. Lord knows I didn’t need the dinner to be even more awkward that it already was. Begrudgingly, I asked, “You tired?”

Even speaking the words caused my mouth to dry up like a California drought. I quickly reached out and grabbed my water, taking my time and relishing each drop of liquid, reveling in the way it moistened my throat. Gulp after gulp it soothed me. Finally feeling like myself again—not to mention the fact that my boner had finally gone away—I glanced over at Rocky, who looked as still as a statue. Her mouth was pressed together in a tight line and her eyes were…well, they were staring at me as if I had grown two heads. I frowned at her, wondering if the drive down had gotten her sick or something.

She blinked a few times and quickly asked. “Where can I sleep?”

Oh, she’s just tired.

As if on cue her beautiful eyes began to droop. She turned toward my couch and lifted her index finger. “I can sleep over here.”

As tempted as I was to lock myself in my room and relieve myself all night, I knew I was better than that. “No. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t have the decency to offer you my bed?”

Saying the word ‘friend’ pained me to no end. I was grasping at straws and I knew it. She wasn’t a friend. She never was and she would never be…she was the love of my life. As much as I denied it and pushed her away, she would always have that place in my heart.

She blushed and for a moment I wondered if she was able to read my mind. Laughing lightly, she shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I really don’t mind sleeping on the couch. Believe me, I’ve slept on worse.”

My eyebrows furrowed. Worse? She didn’t deserve anything but the best. “No, I insist. It’s my fault we’re stuck here and the least I could do is make sure you’re comfortable.”

I was worried that I’d have to drag her in there myself, but if I did there was no guarantee that I’d be able to drag myself out. Luckily she bowed her head and agreed. “Sounds great.”

By the time I led her to my bedroom, my palms were slippery from sweat. I practically threw some pajamas at her before rushing out of the room. By the time I made it into the living room I was panting like a wild animal. Seeing her there, in one of my most private of spaces…imagining her lying on my bed wearing my clothes. It was all too much. I was in desperate need of a cold shower, but of course the only full bath would be in my room.

Well, there went my boner again. The blood rushed to my dick and before I knew it I was at full mast.

“Shit. What am I going to do now?” I looked around and eyed my apartment. It was a modest space with only the one bedroom and a tiny guest bathroom near my linen closet. Sure if I were alone or simply didn’t care I would have no qualms about jacking off in the tiny space. However, considering my walls are pretty thin I didn’t want to risk Rocky hearing me bust a nut while she was tucked away in my room.

Groaning, I sucked in the annoying pangs of blue balls. Before I could change my mind, I plopped myself onto my couch and turned on the TV, intent on forgetting where I was at the moment and who was with me.

***

“Jesse.”

My eyes flew open at the sound of my name, jarring me awake. Somehow despite my raging horniness I was able to fall asleep. I blinked a few times, allowing my vision to focus. A bluish glare radiated from the TV, but other than that the room was almost pitch black. I had no idea what time it was and judging by the infomercial playing, it was probably early morning.

“I must have dozed off,” I mumbled to nobody in particular.

“Jesse.”

There it was again. Did Rocky need help? I threw my legs off the side of my couch and listened intently. There was no way I imagined hearing my name twice. However, when I was met with nothing but silence I begrudgingly resigned to lowering myself back onto my couch to catch a few more winks of sleep.

“Mmm…yes…yes.”

Okay, any delusion of catching some sleep did not last long. My eyes widened in shock and automatically the blood from my fingers and toes pulled inward in a rush toward my core. “Is she…is she?”

“Mmm…that feels good.”

I blinked a few times to gather what was going on. For a moment I wondered if she was having some fun with herself, however I quickly pushed away the thought, realizing it was Rocky I was talking about. There was no way she’d be that loud knowing I was right in the other room. However, the sounds of ecstasy emanating from my closed door were definitely sexual in nature. If they weren’t being made consciously and rather unconsciously, then that would mean…

“Rocky’s having a sex dream,” I gasped.

“Jesse.”

“About me.” A wicked grin played on my face, and though my brain was telling me—shouting at me—to push away the glee I felt, there was no way I could.

Throwing all common sense aside, I grabbed for the remote and quickly lowered the volume on the TV. The announcer’s voice went mute at the same time Rocky’s cries of ecstasy became louder. It was bittersweet hearing her moans and knowing there was no way I couldn’t relieve myself that night, but also knowing that doing it by myself would sure as hell not satisfy me.

I stayed rooted in place though I wanted nothing more than to place my ear against that damn door to hear clearly. As ironic as it sounds, I didn’t want to feel any more of a creeper than I already did.

“Mmm…sigh.”

I stuck my hand in between the waistband of my boxer briefs and wrapped my palm around my cock. With each sweet groan coming from the room I mimicked the sound, stroking my dick slowly at first and then harder and faster. I scrunched my face in exasperation. There was no way I could come on my own knowing that the object of my affection was just a few feet away from me.

What a tangled web we weave.

Just as quickly as her breathy moans started they ceased. I figured her dream must have ended, but that knowledge didn’t soothe the raging hard on that I was sporting.

“Fuck,” I muttered, eyeing the bathroom near my foyer. As I was debating whether or not to make my escape to the porcelain god, I heard footsteps padding from inside my room, followed by a few stumbles and a groan. I quickly glanced at the door knob and noticed that it was jiggling slightly. In a move that would make a superhero proud, I made a beeline to the nearest pillow and quickly pulled it onto my lap just in time for the door to open with a soft, “Aha!”

I swallowed what felt like shards of glass down my throat and eyed the sleepy figure. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Ahh!”

I bit back a smile as I watched Rocky stumble back. She looked so tiny in my clothes and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her in my arms.

How are you supposed to do that with a boner the size of Texas?

I cleared my throat and shifted slightly. “You can join me in ordering this amazing juicer if you want,” I joked, hoping to alleviate the sexual tension I was sure I was exuding.

“What?” Her voice sounded muddled as if she were still lost in a dream. I really hoped she was…

“If you call now you can get two free recipe books,” I growled, pushing away the thought. I really wasn’t helping out my cause. Fidgeting, I readjusted my dick and prayed she wouldn’t notice how the pillow sat a few inches too high from the rest of my lap.

“Oh.” She grabbed at her throat and glanced around helplessly. “Um, I just want a glass of water.”

Funny, I’m ‘thirsty’ too.

I snorted at the way my mind twisted her words around and replied, “Help yourself; the glasses are in the right cabinet.”

She walked toward the kitchen and even in the dark I could make out how pink her ears were. It was as if her body was radiating steam and good God was she steaming hot. My eyes traveled down the length of her petite body, admiring the way the waistband of my large pants sat at the top of her hips, folded up two or three times in order for them to stay in place. When we were younger she’d often complain about her boyish shape, but there was no denying the curves she sported now.

“You know my clothes look better on you than they do on me. Maybe I should let you keep it,” I commented.

“Nah, who’d want these old things?” she replied with a smile in her voice, taking a seat beside me.

I couldn’t help myself and burst into laughter. A distant memory surfaced and I could have sworn we’d said the exact same words to each other once before.

Another lifetime ago.

Just like that my good mood faltered. It was a lifetime ago, but did that matter? The past could stay in the past as long as we made sure it did. Eyes darkening, I resigned to stay in the present, and though I knew I was skating on thin ice, my hormones led me to ask, “Did you have a bad dream?”

“What?” Her voice was barely a squeak.

I pressed on. “I heard you in there. You were breathing hard and moaned a bit.”

“I did not moan!” Her cheeks reddened considerably. I caught myself wondering whether or not she felt as warm as she looked. What I wouldn’t give to drag my finger across her cheeks and feel for myself.

I struggled to swallow. “Actually, you did. I heard you.”

To my surprise she nonchalantly changed the subject. “You’re quite the night owl. Have you been up this whole time?”

“Yes, I heard everything,” I interjected, desperate to steer the conversation back to where I wanted it to go.

“Like what?” Her voice wavered. Although I felt a bit bad to tease her like this, I couldn’t stop myself. Years and years of stopping myself had finally caught up with me. My brakes were finally broken. “What did you hear?” she insisted.

The thing with the past is that even though you insist on leaving it behind, it still manages to rear up at the ugliest moments. When that time comes you have no choice but to take a few steps back and face it head on. In my case, I needed to open up about what I saw at her house the other night. It’d be the only way I could move forward.