One Day Soon (29 page)

“Hello,” his grandmother said, continuing to grin at the both of us.

“This is Imogen, Gran,” Yoss told her. “She’s my girlfriend.”

His grandmother began to fiddle with a gold chain around her neck. A small locket rested in the hollow of her throat and she caressed it gently as she looked back and forth between the two of us.

“Oh. That’s nice,” she said absently.

Yoss’s smile faded a little. “Do you remember who I am?”

His grandmother giggled. It was a strange sound. High pitched. Out of place. She covered her mouth with her hand as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t.

“Of course I do, silly,” she chastised, smiling brightly. “You’re the boy that lives down the road. You help Charles with the yard work. Are you here to pick up the money he owes you?” His grandmother patted her pockets and frowned. “It seems he forgot to leave it. If you come by tomorrow, I can pay you then.”

“That’s okay. Your husband already paid me,” Yoss replied, his voice breaking slightly. “I just wanted to come for a visit, if that’s okay. Maybe help you with your puzzle.” His hands trembled slightly as he reached out to pick up a piece of the jigsaw closest to him.

His grandmother’s smile widened. “That would be lovely. I’m just waiting for Elizabeth to come home from her friend’s house.” She turned to me. “Elizabeth is my daughter. She’s nine. This is the first time I let her walk to her friend’s house on her own. She’s growing up so fast.”

I felt my heart sink. For Yoss. For this woman who was slowly losing her mind.

“Yes, kids do grow up fast,” I agreed, not knowing what else to say.

“Do you worry your mother like my Elizabeth worries me? Always wanting to go out and play by yourself?” she asked, her eyes clear and vivid. The exact same shade of green as her grandson’s. It was almost disconcerting to see much-loved eyes on a stranger’s face.

“I don’t think my mother worries about me like that,” I told her truthfully.

Yoss was being uncharacteristically quiet. He was still holding the puzzle piece, watching his grandmother closely.

The older woman reached out and patted my arm, startling me. “I sincerely doubt that. You seem like a lovely young woman. I’m sure she worries about you all the time. Though I think your mother should be relieved you’re choosing to spend your time with such a nice boy.” She returned her smile to her grandson, never knowing how she broke his heart.

“Thank you, Mrs. Butler,” Yoss said, sounding as though he were choking on his words.

I sat up a little straighter and swept a handful of puzzle pieces towards me. “It doesn’t look like you’ve been able to get very far with this. Is it a hard puzzle?” I asked, filling the taut silence almost desperately.

Yoss’s grandmother fit two pieces together and moved them to the center of the table. “I’ve been working on this for over an hour and haven’t seemed to get anywhere with it. Elizabeth is the one who is good at puzzles. Maybe I should just wait until she gets home.”

“We’ll help you. I love puzzles,” I said, maybe a little too loudly.

“That would be nice, Imogen. Thank you,” Mrs. Butler enthused, pushing more pieces towards me. She looked at Yoss, who was biting down on his bottom lip. “Are you going to help, Yoss?”

His eyes flickered up in surprise. She had used his name. A brief moment of clarity. I reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

“Of course,” he remarked, his smile effortless. His eyes brighter.

We sat together for a time, putting the puzzle together. We didn’t talk much. Yoss’s grandmother easily became lost in the task at hand, focusing intently.

After an hour, a man wearing crisp white scrubs came over, a polite smile on his face. “It’s time for Gladys to go to physical therapy.”

“Of course,” Yoss said quickly, dropping the puzzle pieces he had been holding and getting to his feet.

The aide looked down at what we had accomplished. “It looks like you got really far with this one, Gladys,” he said.

Yoss’s grandmother beamed with pride. “My grandson and his girlfriend helped me. I think we did a great job.”

My heart swelled so much that it hurt. Yoss gave me a look of pure relief.

Gladys got to her feet, the aide supporting her elbow. She came around the table and put her arms around Yoss. She only came up to his chin and he held her carefully. “Come back to see me soon, Yoss. And bring Imogen with you.” His grandmother grinned at me. “He’s never brought anyone to see me before. You must be really special to my boy.”

“She is, Gran,” Yoss agreed.

Her eyes clouded and she pulled back from Yoss. “Are we going to the circus? I thought Charles was supposed to drive us.”

The aide took Yoss’s grandmother by the elbow and gently led her away. Yoss wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

“It was nice being able to hang out with her,” I said as we left.

Yoss sighed. “I just wish you could see more of the woman she used to be. But at least we got to be with her for a little while.”

Holly, the redheaded nurse looked up as we came into the reception area. “How was our girl?” she asked.

“She knew who I was for a few minutes,” he said.

Holly’s smile was sympathetic. “That’s good, Yoss.”

“It is. Okay, Holly, I’ll see you soon.” He held the door open for me and we stepped outside.

“I only want to bring her the good stuff,” Yoss said, as if he needed to explain something to me. Something important. Dark clouds billowed along the horizon.

It swallowed everything.

The wind picked up, blowing Yoss’s hair into his face. “You get that, right? All of this shit out here can’t follow me in there.” He looked back at Windy Acres, a wistful expression on his face. “But you…” His eyes softened. “You are the best of everything, Imi.”

I pulled him close, kissing his mouth firmly.

Hard. Deep.

Devouring and taking everything he had to give.

Tears tasted salty on cracked, unforgiving lips. Fingers dug into skin. Nails scrapping flesh.

Heavy breaths. Fractured hearts.

We were healing.

Or trying to.

But can two people like us ever truly mend?

I gathered his broken pieces and I held them tight.

Yoss wasn’t the only one who wouldn’t be able to let go.

Present

“D
r. Howell has been calling for you since eight,” Tess said as soon as I arrived. She accosted me just outside of my office door, her normally frazzled face, just a bit more frazzled.

“Dr. Howell? Why?” I asked, leaning my shoulder into the door as I unlocked it. My hands were full of files.

Tess followed me into my office and stood just inside the door. “He wouldn’t say. But he sounded unhappy. Though it’s sort of hard tell given how monotone he is.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said, picking up the phone on my desk and dialed Dr. Howell’s extension. Tess gave me a finger wave and left me to it.

“Hi, Dr. Howell, it’s Imogen Conner.”

“Imogen. Hello. I’m glad you’re in,” Dr. Howell said from the other end.

“Good morning, Dr. Howell.”

“Have you been up to see Mr. Frazier yet this morning?” he asked, getting straight to the point.

My stomach began to flutter wildly. “No. Not yet.”

“He had a rough night apparently. Carol, the night nurse on duty, left a note saying that he had a nightmare and became incredibly violent. He was at risk of self-injury so staff had to restrain him. When that didn’t calm him down, they resorted to sedation. I checked on him when I arrived this morning and to say he is upset would be an understatement.”

Hearing about his nightmares didn’t surprise me. Yoss had always suffered from them.

Sometimes they had been so intense that he had frightened me.

He keened in his sleep. A haunted sound full of agony. His face scrunched up as if he was in pain and tears ran down his cheeks.

I was frozen, watching him writhe and twist, as if trying to escape something only he could see.

Finally, not able to stand the sound of his sobs and screams a moment longer, I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my body close to his. He went rigid. His fingers curled into claws.

But then he relaxed. His skin flush against mine. His face tucked into my neck. I rubbed his back. Long, steady strokes. His breathing evened out. His tears dried.

And I held him.

Long after he returned to less terrifying dreams.

Until the sun rose and a new day had started.

“What do you mean he’s upset?” I asked.

“He plans to check himself out of the hospital. Even though I have advised him that is not a good idea until you have secured him housing. He insists he is leaving today. He is set in his decision and he clearly wasn’t in the mood to listen to anything I had to say. So I think it’s important you find him suitable accommodation as soon as possible. Let me know what you find,” Dr. Howell said.

“Okay. I will. I’ll speak with him now,” I told the doctor.

My heart thumped against my ribcage. Yoss was planning to leave.

I hung up the phone and grabbed my files. I all but ran to the elevator and took it to the second floor.

I should have stopped and spoken with the nurses. I should have made notes and gone over his service plan. There were a dozen boxes I should have checked before going into his room.

I did none of them.

Because I wasn’t thinking about anything but getting to Yoss before he slipped through my fingers once again.

His bed was empty. The covers were pushed back, the pillows askew. But Yoss wasn’t there.

Before I had a chance to freak out, the bathroom door opened and Yoss came out, still wearing a hospital gown. I almost sagged with relief.

“What are you doing?” I asked, sounding out of breath.

Yoss gave me a strange look. “Uh. Using the toilet.” He shuffled back to the bed and pulled back the covers so he could get in. I noted there were fresh bruises on his arms, most likely from the nurses holding him down.

He saw me staring at his arm and grimaced. “They won this round,” he joked wryly, but I didn’t smile.

“You had a nightmare,” I stated.

Yoss’s face hardened. “I always have nightmares. You know that. It’s nothing new.”

“They had to sedate you,” I went on.

“I needed a good night sleep anyway.”

“Yoss—” I began, but he cut me off.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m leaving today.”

“Like hell you are,” I snarled.

Yoss’s eyes widened in surprise. “That’s not really your call to make. I can check myself out at any time. I’m not a fucking prisoner, Imogen.”

“Where will you go? Back to that dilapidated house? You’re sick, Yoss. You can’t just go back to living like that!”

“It was good enough for you once, don’t forget,” he hissed.

“Stop it, Yoss! This is important! Let me call the Salvation Army. Tracey said she’d hold a bed for you—”

“I’ll be fine, Imi,” he excused.

“Your liver is starting to fail, Yoss. You could get an infection—”

“Look, I know you’ve got a job to do, but—”

“This isn’t about my job!” I yelled.

The door opened and the nurse on duty poked her head into the room. “Is everything okay in here?” She looked from Yoss back to me. I tried to calm myself down.

“Everything’s fine. Thank you,” I told the nurse, hoping she didn’t notice how my voice shook.

The door closed again and we sat in silence.

“Look, I know you think I can’t take care of myself. I mean, look at where I’ve gotten myself. But I have some friends I can stay with. They have an apartment and I’m sure they’d let me stay on their couch for a while. I won’t go back to that house if I can help it. I promise to try to find something else,” Yoss placated.

I couldn’t look at him. If I did, I would come undone.

Unravel and fall apart.

It had been years since I felt this pressure in the center of my chest.