One Good Reason (16 page)

“I
can see now why you come up here so often,” she said, finding the right spot on
the grass to sit down so she could look out over the island and vast ocean
before her.

“I
knew you’d like it,” Hayden said, sitting down next to her and taking a sip of
his water.

He
handed it to Ava, who took it and drank.

“Thailand
really is a beautiful place.”

Hayden
cocked his head to the side and stared at Ava. “Really? You really think that?”

Ava
looked at Hayden. “Yeah. Why, don’t you?”

“Yeah,
I do, I just thought after everything you’ve been through, you might not feel
that way.”

Ava
shrugged. “Every place has their demons. But it’s the places where you can see
past all that, for its true beauty, that is the most amazing.”

Ava
looked out at the view, but could still feel Hayden’s eyes on her after several
minutes. She turned back to him to see he was looking at her with a puzzled
expression.

She
sighed and picked up a piece of grass in her hands, playing with it as she
spoke. “I’ve spent years living in regret, wishing I could change the past.
Change my life. But I can’t. I can’t change what happened to my mum. I can’t
change my dad leaving and I can’t change what happened here. The only things I
can try to do, is try and deal with it, and move on. If I think about it and
overanalyse it, it will be as if they won. I can’t let them win,” she said
looking back at Hayden. “I’m not someone they can just kidnap and do what they
did and it be okay. I don’t know how, but I’m going to stop them, all of them.”

Hayden
looked into her eyes and nodded.

“You’ll
have your peace, Ava. I promise you.”

Ava
smiled at Hayden, knowing he was someone of his word. Somehow, it would all
work out; she had to be hopeful of that, it was the only way.

Hayden
laid back on the grass behind him and closed his eyes, Ava followed him. She
listened to the ocean crash into the cliff, the sound of the wind in the trees,
and the echoes of the wildlife around her. It was calming and perfect. So
perfect in fact, that she found herself drifting off into a sleep.

When
Ava woke sometime later, she found herself in a strangely comfortable position,
but one she knew she shouldn’t be in. She’d somehow managed to roll into Hayden
in her sleep, and found her arm and leg wrapped over his body.

She
slowly pulled her head from Hayden’s shoulder; his arm was wrapped around her
loosely. She picked his hand up and from her waist and gently moved it from
her, placing it on the ground next to her. She hadn’t looked at his face yet to
see if he was sleeping, but could tell by his breathing that he most likely
was. She really didn’t want to complicate their situation by making it exactly
that; a relationship. They were just two people working together. After this
was over, they would never see each other again. She had to keep things simple
between them.

She
knew deep down that their relationship had already begun to get complicated.
Hayden was different towards her, and she’d found herself on more than one
occasion, thinking thoughts about Hayden, thoughts she knew she shouldn’t be
thinking, but had no control over.

Regardless
of it all right now, Hayden waking up with Ava sprawled all over him,
definitely wouldn’t give the right impression. She adjusted her body and moved
away from him. Once she was in clear range, she stood up and walked over to the
cliff’s edge again. Just as she approached it, she heard Hayden waking behind
her.

She
turned to see him sitting up and looking at her.

“I
think it’s probably time we headed back down. We sleep any longer up here and
we’ll both end up with third degree burns,” Hayden said, standing to his feet.

“You’re
right,” Ava replied walking back to him. “Plus it’s your turn to make lunch.”

Hayden
arched his eyebrow. “I don’t think so.”

“
Wanna
bet?” Ava said playfully.

“Yes,
because I know that whatever it is, I’ll win.”

Ava
rolled her eyes. “So confident. Confidence won’t always get you what you want
you know.”

“It
has so far.”

Ava
couldn’t back down from a challenge, and the opportunity to wipe his cocky grin
off his face.

“Fine.
Last one to the house makes lunch,” she said quickly, then took off running
down the mountain.

She
didn’t wait to see if Hayden was coming, she could hear him running after her
through the bushes.

It
probably wasn’t the best thing to challenge Hayden on. Ava wasn’t the fittest
person and Hayden, well…was. He was more than fit. But she didn’t care, she was
only focused on the prize at the end, and that wasn’t Hayden making lunch, it
was knowing she had beat him.

Thankfully,
the fact they were running downhill made it easier for Ava, but it also made it
easier for Hayden. She could tell she was slowing up, but Hayden hadn’t
overtaken her yet.

She
could feel her lungs and legs burning with each step, but she wouldn’t give up;
she couldn’t. She powered on and then after feeling like she’d been running for
hours, she ran out onto the sandy beach. She could see the house now; it was so
close.

But
before she even had a chance to revel in her victory, Hayden grabbed her from
behind, lifting her up and over his shoulder.

“Hayden!”
she screamed in enjoyment.

Her
head was buried against his sweaty back. She was exhausted and deep breathing
from the run.

“You
know what happens to cheaters?” Hayden teased, walking into the water’s edge
fully clothed.

“Don’t
you dare!” Ava screamed, knowing exactly what Hayden had planned.

“Too
late,” Hayden said, flinging her through the air into the water.

The
tide was high and there was barely even a wave, so she hit the calm water
taking a deep breath mid-air.

She
swam to the surface and stood on the sandy bottom; still fully clothed with her
joggers on. She pushed her hair back from her face and faced Hayden, who had
the biggest grin on his face.

“So
not funny,” Ava said smiling at him.

“No,
definitely not funny,” Hayden replied with the fakest serious expression on his
face.

Ava
shook her head. “It’s on,” she said, pushing her way through the water until
she was able to run.

Hayden
had already started to turn to run away by the time Ava got to him, but she
didn’t slow down, instead, she used all her strength and jumped on his back,
soaking his clothes.

“You
little-” Hayden said, spinning her around to face him on his chest.

He
tried to pull her off him, but Ava clasped her arms tightly around his neck,
not willing to let go for anything.

“I’m
not going back in unless you come with me.”

“Fine,”
Hayden said, “if that’s the way it has to be.”

He
then turned and ran into the water, jumping in head first, with Ava still
attached to him. She let her hands go loose when she hit the water. Catching
her breath when she reached the surface, she didn’t waste a second in splashing
Hayden in the face when he also reached the surface for air.

He
quickly splashed her back, the battle had started and neither one was backing
down. They both moved throughout the water trying to get a better position,
Hayden using his strength, picked Ava up once again and threw her high in the
air.

They
laughed together as they played and tackled each other in the water like young
teenagers, but it was exactly what Ava needed. She needed to feel young and
carefree again.

When
she came to the conclusion that there was no way she could win this battle with
Hayden in the water, she faked an injury.

“
Ow
, my eye,” she said, cupped her hand to her left eye.

Hayden
stopped splashing immediately and came to her aid.

“What
happened?” Hayden said as he led her out of the water and onto the beach. “Sit
down.”

“I
don’t know… It’s stinging a bit,” Ava said, sitting down on the sand, Hayden
sitting alongside her.

“Let
me have a look,” he said, but before Ava let him she jumped to her feet and
attempted to make a run for the house, after all, the competition still hadn’t
ended.

She
laughed out loud, thinking she had fooled him, but Hayden was smarter than
that. He leapt forward and grabbed her ankle, causing her to fall to the
ground.

She
twisted her body as he grabbed her arms and turned her on her back. She looked
up at him laughing as he pinned her to the ground with her wrist. He sat above
her waist, putting all his body weight on his legs.

Ava’s
attempts to get out of the position were useless. Hayden’s sheer strength and
body immobilised her.

“You
don’t play fair,” she said, giving up trying to get out from underneath him.

“Me?”
Hayden said in shock. “You’re the one who keeps trying to cheat.”

Ava
smiled. “Yeah, but there’s no way I can compete against you. I mean… look at
you.” Her eyes travelled down his wet t-shirt that perfectly showed every
muscle in his torso.

Hayden’s
eyes followed hers down his chest. Then he looked down at Ava.

“I
only look like this because I have to, Ava.”

“So
if you weren’t in the SAS, you’d be fat and ugly?” Ava joked.

Hayden
smiled back at her. “Maybe.”

“I
very much doubt that.”

“Why
not? I could be ‘fat and ugly’, as you say.”

 “Because
you’re not that kind of guy.”

“What
kind of guy am I?”

Ava
looked back at him, his smile had gone, and his grip on her hands had loosened.
She could feel his thumbs gently sliding back and forth on her skin.

The
truth was, Ava wasn’t even really sure what kind of guy he was. There was so
many sides to him she didn’t know if that was all there was too him. He was a
mystery. He was the kind of guy that looked after himself and took pride in
everything he did. His word meant everything, and if he said he would protect
you, he meant it. He was the kind of guy that if there was a building on fire
and everyone was running out, he’d be the one person running in to search for
survivors. He feared nothing, well, so it seemed.  There were so many
layers to him she wasn’t even sure if anyone knew Hayden completely.

The
more she was around Hayden, the more everything became blurry. She was once his
captive, and since then, she hadn’t been able to figure out exactly what he was
to her now.

Hayden
let go of her wrists and stood, breaking the moment once again.
Whatever
moment that was,
Ava thought to herself. These moments between them were
happening more often and becoming more and more of a confusion to her.  

Hayden
bent down and grabbed Ava’s arm, helping her to her feet.

“You
put up a good fight. I’ll make lunch,” Hayden said as they walked back to the
house in silence.

15 GENTLE IMPLUSION

Hayden’s arms hung heavily with pain. His arms
were bound and tied to the beam above his head. He could reach the ground
beneath him, but his body was bruised and battered, all of his strength was
lost. The ties holding his arms above his head held his weight. His head hung
low into his chest. He’d never been so weak before in his life.

He
waited in the dark, praying that no one would enter the wooden doors in front
of him. He didn’t know the time or how long he had been held captive for, but
it must have been into the weeks. His captives were getting frustrated at their
development, but Hayden knew better. He’d been on the other side of this a
hundred times before. He knew how to break people until they had only one
choice but to give him the information he needed. Hayden wasn’t about to break,
he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

These
men knew nothing about kidnapping people for information. They used physical
punishment and abuse as a means to get information. Hayden had learnt early on,
that men, especially military men, could endure hours and hours of physical
abuse and never give in. Hayden like other SAS soldiers stood by their honour.
He wouldn’t tell them anything about his government or training. If you wanted
to get information from people, you needed to do it in a way that they mentally
couldn’t handle. Fuck with their minds to a point they are begging you to let
them tell you everything they know.

Hayden’s
body could be punished, but he wouldn’t break.

He
heard the doors in front of him open. Taking a deep breath, he prepared his
mind for the torture that was going to happen.

“You
will not break me. You will not break me. You will not break me,” he quietly
repeated to himself as the three masked men approached him.

“You’ve
seen better days my friend,” the masked man spoke in a thick Middle Eastern
accent.

“I’ve
seen worse,” Hayden grunted back.

“We’ll
see about that.”

Hayden
looked up to see the men approaching him. He still hadn’t been able to figure
out who they were and how they managed to find him.

“I’m
going to ask you again. What is your real name and who is your superior?” The
masked man asked.

“And
I’m going to tell you again to go fuck yourself,” Hayden said spitting at the
man’s masked face.

Hayden
watched one of the men quickly step forward and punch Hayden in the stomach.
Hayden turned his stomach inwards in pain.

“Smart
mouth. Not very good,” the man said, and then picked up a long round piece of
steel. “I’m going to ask you one last-”

“Fuck
you!” Hayden yelled, interrupting the man. He knew it wouldn’t be the last time
he’d ask. He’d asked for ‘the last time’ twenty times before and it still had
no effect on Hayden.

The
man swiftly pulled the piece of steel back and hit it right across Hayden’s
ribs. Hayden felt the crack of one of his ribs as it broke. The air in his
lungs escaped him and he found it hard to breathe.

“This
could all be over if you just tell me,” the man said as he hit Hayden across
the ribs once again.

Hayden’s
body tensed in pain. It was overbearing, excruciating, but he couldn’t give in.

He
breathed in deeply, struggling for air as he felt blood rise in his throat.

“You
will not break me,” he whispered to himself, tasting the blood in his mouth as
the man took another shot to his body with the steel.

“Hayden.
Hayden,” a voice came into his dream, pulling him from his dark nightmare.

Hayden
pulled himself from his dream, startled and grabbing the knife next to his side
as he felt someone take a hold of his arm.

His
eyes stared down at the fearful Ava, his knife at her throat. He wasn’t on the
couch anymore, but on the hard ground. His body overpowered her and the look in
her eyes shamed him. He quickly remembered where he was and who he was with. He
pulled the knife away and sat up facing away from her.

“I’m
sorry,” he said, not wanting to look into her eyes and see the fearful look on
her face. He had done so much to her already, and she was finally beginning to
see him for who he was, not someone who wanted to harm her.

“I
didn’t mean to startle you. I found you having a nightmare and thought… well,
it didn’t look good.”

It
wasn’t good. None of it was ever good. If he could, he wouldn’t sleep. Sleeping
meant he’d dream about things he tried to forget. Memories that haunted him
every day.

“It’s
okay. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. The dreams make
edgy.”

 “What
are the dreams about?” Ava asked softly, the fear in her voice gone.

“Things
I’d rather forget.”

“Memories?”

“Yes,”
Hayden replied.

Ava
was silent, and then asked him a question he never thought she’d ask. “Memories
of when you were abducted?”

Hayden
turned to her. She was sitting next to him in only a t-shirt that was large
enough it came to her knees.

“How
did you know about that?”

“Olivia
told me”

“How
did she- Never mind,” Hayden said frustrated.

“She
was trying to talk sense into me. Trying to get me to not hate you,” Ava said
defensively.

“That
girl knows way too much,” Hayden said defeated.

“She
also is the one who convinced me to give you a second chance.”

Hayden
nodded.

“So
what happened? What happened when they took you?”

Hayden
looked into Ava’s eyes. He wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t. He never had
been able to talk to anyone about it since it happened. He’d managed to survive
months of torture before his rescue without breaking. If he felt like talking
about it now, it would mean they had one. Somehow, they had managed to find a
way of getting inside his head.

“It’s
a long story,” Hayden said, and then when he saw Ava wasn’t about to give up,
he added, “One I don’t want to relive.”

“When
I was in that room,” Ava began. Hayden went to say something, tell her how
sorry he was again, but she waved her hand at him. “When I was in that room,
there were times when I thought that was it. That’s what my life had come to. I
was going to live out the rest of my days in a small dark room, constantly
fearful that one day I would be raped, beaten, and killed.”

“I
would never have let that happen to you,” Hayden said seriously.

Ava
continued. “What got me through those dark moments was believing that one day,
I would no longer be in that room. One day I’d be back in my home town and with
the people I love. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to talk about what
happened to me and not get upset, or think what if? But I knew that I wouldn’t
let
it
own me and become me. I would face it and I
would move on. I couldn’t hold onto it like my mum’s death and let it eat away
at me slowly until there was nothing left to me. The only way to move on is to
face it.”

Hayden
knew what Ava was saying made sense. It didn’t make him feel any better that he
was part of the reason why she had to go through such a horrific experience.

“Maybe
one day I’ll be able to talk about it. But right now… I just can’t. I don’t
want to think about it. If I talk about it, then it was real. I survived it,
for now, that’s all that matters,” Hayden said, his eyes turning away from Ava.
He didn’t like anyone seeing him this way, especially Ava.

“But
one day you’ll have to face it, Hayden, and when you do, I’ll be here,” Ava
said, placing her hand on Hayden’s arm.

Hayden
looked back at her and gave a small smile. He didn’t completely know what that
meant. As far as he knew, after he got her back to Australia, they were going
to go their separate ways, but he appreciated that after everything, she was
still strong enough and caring enough to want Hayden to move on with his own
life and face his demons.

After
a couple of seconds, Ava burst out in laughter. Hayden looked at her funny.
What
on earth could be funny about what they were talking about?

Ava
saw his confused expression. “We’re like two peas in a pod.”

“Excuse
me?”

Ava
smiled. “How many people get to sit in a safe house in a foreign country and
exchange stories about their abductions?” She laughed again. “I swear, my life
was never meant to be normal.”

Hayden
smiled back at her. “You have a funny way of looking at things.”

“Would
you prefer I cried about it? Held it in until it broke me?”

Hayden
shook his head. “No.”

Ava
smiled once again. “What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger, right?”

“You
might just be the most interesting woman I’ve ever met.”

“And
you might just be the most interesting man I’ve ever met.”

“You
must’ve not met many men in your life then,” Hayden commented.

“I’ve
met lots of guys actually.”

Hayden
raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really?”

Ava’s
mouth shot open. “Not like that, Hayden!” she said smacking his arm playfully.
Hayden laughed at her. “I meant-”

“I
know what you meant,” Hayden said still smiling.

Ava
rolled her eyes. “Men. You’re all the same.”

“I
thought you said I was interesting?”

“I
take that back now,” Ava said smiling as she stood from the ground. “I’m going
back to bed. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Positive,”
Hayden reassured her. “If not, I know where to find you.”

Ava
shook her head and walked back into the bedroom. 

Hayden
picked himself up from the ground and laid back on the couch. He rubbed his
eyes, feeling a headache coming on. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. At
least when he was awake, he was comforted by the fact that Ava was near.

Maybe
Ava was right. Maybe he did need to face what happened to him, and he might one
day. But not just yet. He couldn’t risk the possibility of his head not being
in the right mind-frame right now. He had to focus on Ava. Mason would be here
soon and they could figure out a way for Ava to be home and safe again. He
wouldn’t stop until she was safe. Not if it meant being by her side for the rest
of his life. She wasn’t meant for this life, she deserved better and Hayden
would make sure she got it.

***

After
a day of reading and hiking with Hayden around the island, Ava was starting to
feel like she could get used to this life. As every day passed, she thought
less and less about
Aun
, Stevenson, her father, and
everything else that had happened and that might happen. The more she was with
Hayden, the calmer she felt. Island life with Hayden was peaceful and happy.
Their conversations had grown with their relationship. They could talk just
about anything with each other and Ava finally felt normal again. On this
island, they were just Hayden and Ava. They weren’t the victims of crime- they
could just be themselves.

Ava
didn’t know how much longer she would be on the island, but she knew it would
only be a matter of days before she would have to face the problem that awaited
them both. How they were both going to get out of Thailand without
Aun’s
men tracking them, and how they were going to help her
dad?

She
undressed and climbed into the cool shower. It was almost sunset and Ava wanted
to have a shower and get changed before dinner with Hayden. Not that she cared
what she looked like for Hayden…
or did she?
Ava wasn’t so sure anymore,
so instead, she convinced herself she just wanted to get cleaned up so she
could feel fresh again.

She
picked up the shampoo bottle, squeezed a small amount in the palm of her hand,
and began massaging her hair with it. Thankfully, the Thai family who came to
visit the day before brought shampoo, conditioner, soap, and other toiletries
for Ava with them. She didn’t know if they knew Ava would be on the island, or
if Hayden had requested them. Either way, she was extremely grateful for them.
Sometimes it was the simplest things that made her feel better about
everything, and having something to wash your hair with was one of them.

As
Ava closed her eyes and massaged the shampoo into her hair, feeling the cool
water glide down her body, her thoughts trailed to those of earlier when Hayden
had caught her off guard, leaving her speechless and confused once again. After
their hike around the island, Ava had gone for a swim. Because the weather had
been so hot lately, she was tying her hair up in a ponytail or bun more often.
She’d laid on the beach letting her hair dry loosely around her shoulders. When
she went inside to get a snack, Hayden was making her a fruit salad. She’d
thanked him for going to the effort and when she went to eat it on the front
steps in the sun, Hayden had complimented her. Although to some it may have
been a simple compliment, to her, it felt like more.