One Moment (17 page)

“You working a lot?” I asked, tipping my head toward the nearest lifeguard chair.

Toby shrugged. “Just about every day. But it doesn’t feel like work.”

“Shan,” I said, looking down to see that her hands were frozen in the air, her skinny little iPod clutched in one, the earphone wires dangling from the fingers of the other. Her eyes were wide. Her mouth hanging open. And that made me feel good. “This job would be perfect for you. You’d get paid for working on your tan.” I giggled then. All of them looked at me like I was crazy.

“But I’d have to wear a one-piece,” Shannon said, her voice quiet. “I don’t do one-pieces.”

Toby laughed. So I did, too.

“Hey, I wanted to thank you,” I said, an idea forming as the words tripped off my tongue.

“Me?” Toby pointed a finger at his chest.

I nodded. “I know it was almost two months ago, but Tanna and I feel awful about leaving Shannon behind at the Spring Carnival. Total miscommunication. It was awesome of you to take her home.”

Toby’s eyes creased, and he looked from me to Shannon and back. “I don’t have any idea—”

“Maybe Maggie’s right,” Shannon said, interrupting him, hopping up and grabbing his glistening forearm. “Is there an application or something? In the office? I mean, getting paid to sit in the sun sounds pretty nice. And my mom’s been all over my ass to get a summer job.”

“I think the schedule’s full,” Toby said. “But you can fill out an application, anyway. If you really want to.”

Shannon turned and yanked the sundress off the back of her lawn chair, tossed it over her head, and grabbed Toby’s arm again. “Let’s do it,” she said with a smile.

Toby started to turn away, but he stopped. Faced me once again. “Hey, Maggie. I’m really sorry about Joey. He was cool. A little insane, but cool.”

I nodded. Smiled. But it was forced, so I had to look down.

Shannon tugged at his arm. “To the office?” she asked, urgency springing from each word.

“I gotta stop by the locker room. I’ll meet you in a minute,” Toby said. “Nice to see you guys.” Toby nodded his head toward Tanna and me, and the two turned and started toward the clubhouse office.

“What’s up with her?” Tanna asked, moving to stand next to me.

I watched the way Shannon’s tiny little butt swayed from side to side, the wave of her sundress swooshing around her thighs. Her hand dropped from Toby’s arm, and she moved away from him. Not much. But the distance was telling. I wondered if she’d ever had a thing for Toby Miller.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“This thing with Toby. She’s throwing herself at him. Totally against her rules.”

“Maybe she’s in love,” I said. “Love makes you break all the rules, doesn’t it?” My chest exploded, hot and heavy. The thought nearly knocked me down. But then I pushed it away. Because whatever had been going on between Shannon and Joey, it
couldn’t
be that.

Tanna twirled her hair up on top of her head, tucking it into a makeshift bun. “I guess with Shannon, there really are no rules, huh?”

I shrugged. “Guess not.”

“You coming in?” Tanna stepped toward the edge of the pool, the water sparkling, throwing diamonds of light across her tanned stomach.

“In a minute,” I said, leaning down to reach into Shannon’s bag. “I gotta call my mom to tell her I’m here. She wants me to check in every five minutes these days.”

Tanna gave me a pouty look. Then, with creased eyes, looked at the phone my fingers were clutching. Shannon’s phone.

“Mine’s almost dead,” I said, tipping my head toward my purse. “Go on without me. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I’m heading over to the deep end,” Tanna said. “Those college guys are here. I want to position myself for when they start to practice their diving.”

I laughed. “Being fully submerged in water does nothing to flatter your figure.”

Tanna tipped her head to the side. “Maybe not. But if I get a cramp and need help, they’ll get a great view when they pull me out of the water.”

“Tanna, you’re very creative,” I said as she hopped into the water with a little splash and a giant squeal.

“It feels awesome,” she said, flipping to her back and swimming away.

I looked to the office and could see through the large opening at the window counter that Shannon was twirling her hair around one finger as she talked to several guys. I had a few minutes at least. Even if she wasn’t interested in them, she was interested in them being interested in her.

As I watched her, my mind flipped through several incidents I’d forgotten. Little things that seemed like nothing. Until now. The barrette in Joey’s car that she said she’d forgotten when he took her home after a football game. His shirt on the carpet in her bedroom, which he’d supposedly loaned her after she spilled pizza down hers at lunch one day.

I sat on my towel, turning my attention to that phone. Scrolling through her messages, my fingers and breathing and heart got all tripped up. I was scared of what I’d find. But I needed answers, and the only people who had them were either not talking, or acting like they didn’t know anything.

I couldn’t risk looking for too much. I was dying to. But there wasn’t enough time. So I searched for the date. Friday, April 28. The night of the Spring Carnival.

I had to figure it out. If he was with her. To know for sure what I only suspected.

But as I searched the history of messages between Shannon and Joey, I found a string of texts from another, more recent night.

The night of Jimmy Dutton’s party.

An entire conversation.

Right at my shaky fingertips.

12:53 a.m.:
Shan, we nd 2 tlk.

12:53 a.m.:
What did A say 2 u?

12:53 a.m.:
Ur nt gng 2 b happy.

12:54 a.m.:
He’s nt making threats, is he?

12:54 a.m.:
Something like that.

12:54 a.m.:
U dropped P off?

12:55 a.m.:
Yup. I’m abt 2 leave.

12:55 a.m.:
Get over here.

12:56 a.m.:
B there in 10. Meet me outside.

13

Hiding Out

“So this is where you’ve been hiding out,” I said, stepping from between two trees and into the moonlight. The creek was directly in front of me, bubbling its way through the back edge of the park that bordered our neighborhood. Before the guys found the Jumping Hole, this clearing had been one of our favorite hangouts. Since Adam had started avoiding us, I’d imagined him here several times, wondering if he might be sitting with nothing but the rustling trees as his companions. But I hadn’t been ready to investigate.

I stood there, still, trying not to think about where all this water had come from; that this creek was fed by the flow that came from the gorge—from our Jumping Hole—where Joey had spent his last moments alive.

Adam looked over his shoulder, as if he’d been expecting me.

“This is
one
of my hideouts,” he said from his seat on a large rock at the edge of the water. I remembered a younger version of him, sitting in that exact place, his shoes tossed to the side, his bare feet plunged into the flow of the creek.

“I’ve texted you, like, a zillion times since yesterday.” I’d been hoping I could find him alone so we could talk, just the two of us, to see if maybe I might be the one thing to bring him back.

“Been ignoring my phone,” Adam said. “It’s easier that way.”

“Not for us.” I stuffed my hands into the front pockets of my capris.

Adam patted the rock beneath him and scooted sideways to make room for me. I walked over and curled my legs underneath my body, bumping his shoulder as I sat.

“You okay?” he asked.

I took in a deep breath and shook my head slowly, side to side, tasting the moist scent of the earth, swallowing the ball of fear that had risen in my throat.

“Me, neither.” The golden hues of Adam’s blond hair practically shone in the night. Alcohol rode the wave of his words, a thick, syrupy scent that made my head swirl.

“You have something to drink?” I asked.

“M-hmm.” Adam held a bottle in the air. The moonlight flickered through the leaves above us, playing with the curves of the glass, splashing light in all directions.

My fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle, pulled it toward my lips. I only intended to have a sip. To simply feel the stinging fire racing down my throat. But I kept going. After several gulps, Adam pulled the bottle from my mouth, yanked it from my clasped fingers.

“That’s enough,” he said.

I swiped my hand across my chin, flinging droplets of the liquid into the night. “Since when do you have a vote?”

Adam grunted. “I’m still your friend, Mags.”

“Coulda fooled me.” I swung toward him, my hair falling over my shoulder.

“Then why’d you call me?” Adam’s voice was tired. He seemed totally drained of life.

“I need your help.”

Adam turned to face me, raising both eyebrows.

“I figured out who Joey was with the night of Dutton’s party.” I swiped some hair from my eyes, blinking away the frustration that had settled into every molecule of my body.

Adam straightened his leg and dropped his foot over the side of the rock, swinging it slowly back and forth, just above the surface of the water. He didn’t look at me. And he didn’t say a thing.

“It was
Shannon
. They were all worried about some kind of threat you’d thrown down. And then there’s something strange about the night of the carnival. Remember how Joey supposedly got home really late from the Reds game? Well, that’s
not
how it happened. My mind is racing to all these terrible places, but I don’t want to go to any of them—I just can’t—not until I know something for sure. So I’m asking you, Adam. What the hell was going on?”

Adam stared at the rippling surface of the water, the way the moonlight danced across the silver channels, as if I wasn’t even there.

I grabbed his arm, pulling him toward me. “You
have
to tell me.”

“I’m sorry, Mags.” Adam shook his head.

“Adam,
please
.”

Adam shifted his weight, twisting on the rock so he could face me. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes focused on mine. “Where did you hear all this?” he asked. “What happened?”

And then, though he remained perfectly silent, I heard his voice continue, a distant echo in my head.
What happened before the screaming?

I pulled back, sucking in a shaky breath.

Adam recoiled like I’d shocked him. “Maggie, I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

“Screaming?” I clasped my hands together. Tight. “There was screaming?”

Adam leaned toward me again, holding my hands in his. Somehow, the touch warmed my entire shaking body.

“Why are you asking that?” Adam’s lips were tight and his eyes looked frantic. Wild.

I kicked my legs out, clawing my feet at the rock, trying to gain my footing.

Adam put a hand on my knee, and I saw a flash of blood. Remembered not knowing if it had come from him or from me.

“There was blood on your arm,” I said. “It was
Joey’s
?”

“Just relax for a minute, okay?” Adam pressed the bottle into my hand.

I took another long swig. This time Adam didn’t pull it away. When I stopped, the spicy liquid dribbled down my chin, but I didn’t care. “You asked me what happened before the screaming. At the cliff. Right?”

Adam took a deep breath. “Yes,” he said. “I did.”

“What else?” I asked. “What else happened? Because I can’t remember now. Not anything.”

“You didn’t remember then, either.” Adam stared at me, his eyes turning a silvery green in the moonlight. He looked so much like his old self that I almost believed everything since Memorial Day weekend had been a bad dream, and that, even if it wasn’t, Adam would suddenly snap back to normal and be the friend I’d always known.

“Adam, you have to help me. I feel like I’m losing my mind here. I mean, everything from the cliff top is gone. And then you, you’re gone, too—”

“Maggie, I’m not gone.”

“It sure feels like it. You’re one of my best friends, Adam. And it’s like you’ve died, too. And then I find out some shady shit was going down between you and Joey. And somehow Shannon’s tied into it. I’m just walking around bumping into random things and hoping I find some answers.” But at the same time I’m afraid. What if those answers just confirm my worst fears? What if the things I can’t even say out loud are true?

“You can handle this. The memories, they seem to be coming back in pieces,” Adam said. “That’s good, right? You’ve remembered a lot in the few times we’ve hung out.”

“I’ve only remembered
one
thing without you, Adam. One. And it was a snapshot, not an actual memory, okay? You’d know that if you’d taken the time to be more available.”

“Available?” Adam’s voice changed then. It went from soft to charged with just one word. “To what? Help lead you through your feelings? News flash, Maggie, I lost Joey, too. And I’m dealing with my own feelings. Huge, suck-ass waves of feelings that are about to take me under. So, I’m sorry, but I can’t carry you to the other side of this. I have to carry myself. And if that means there’s a little distance, then you either deal with it or you don’t. I can only take on what I can handle right now.”

“I don’t expect you to carry me, Adam. But I expect some honesty. I mean, this is
us
we’re talking about.”

Adam laughed. Stood from the rock and looked down at me. “Jesus, Maggie, do you ever stop?”

I wanted to kick his legs from under him so he would fall back down and have to face me. “Tell me what you know, Adam.”

“You’re asking the wrong person, Mags.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Why do you always talk in code now? Nothing you say makes one bit of—”

“I don’t know how I can make it any clearer for you. There’s nothing more I can say.” He looked at me, his eyes filling with an emotion I couldn’t read. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I really am.”

And then Adam turned and stepped off the rock, moved through the trees and into the darkest part of the shadows until he disappeared. It was in that moment that I finally understood I’d lost him all the way. It hurt more than I’d expected it to, the pain crashing down on my chest until I felt like I could hardly breathe.