One Perfect Pirouette (11 page)

chapter 16

Saturday. The big day. The try-out for the class. I woke with a queasy feeling in my stomach. Was I coming down with a bug? No, it was nerves. Get up and get going, I told myself. Move past the nerves. Make them work for you.

But the feeling wouldn't go away and turned into a hideous rolling every time I thought about it. When I sat down for breakfast, Mum took one look at me and said, ‘Nerves, huh?'

I nodded.

‘Thought so. You'll be fine.'

My cereal looked like a white lake filled with yellow lumps. Yuck. I took a breath. I had to know before I went to Ms Ellergren's. ‘Mum, if I get into the class, will I be able to do it? You know – can we afford it?'

She breathed deeply and my shoulders slumped. ‘I – well, your dad seems to think we'll manage it. We're just stretched pretty tight at the moment because of moving, and uniforms and things at your new schools.' She sighed. ‘But with Tam gone, there's one less to feed, and he did eat a lot.'

‘But I didn't want him to –' Guilt crawled through me again. First I made Tam come here when he didn't want to, and now his going away meant we could afford my extra classes. I poked at my cereal.

‘Cheer up,' Mum said. ‘Let's work it out when you're accepted into the class.'

At least she'd said
when,
not
if.
Not like Lucy's mum, who was probably already planning something to cheer Lucy up when she wasn't picked.

Soon, we were on our way to class. We'd left in plenty of time so we wouldn't have to rush or be late. Mum knew that would set my nerves off again. I was first in the changing room and sat there, eyes closed, breathing in and out slowly, focusing on calm.

‘Praying won't help.'

My eyes flew open and there was Stephanie, dressed perfectly as usual in tight jeans and heeled boots. Her jacket had a ruff of fur around the collar – she looked like something out of a Christmas Disney movie.

‘I wasn't praying.'

‘You should be.'

‘Oh, get stuffed,' I said. It wasn't very original, but it made her flush and she turned away with a sniff. Within a few minutes, the changing room was full of chattering girls – most of them going on about how nervous they were. I escaped to the studio and waited by the barre for Ms Ellergren to start the class. Lucy joined me, looking flustered. She was still tying her hair up.

‘My mum would have to be late today, of all days,' she whispered.

Ms Ellergren banged her stick on the floor and the class began.

Two hours later, after the reverence or curtsey, we were allowed half an hour's break before the audition. Most of the others raced out to the nearest fast food shops, but Mum had packed me a thick egg sandwich and some juice. I sat in the changing room and forced the food down, knowing I'd need the energy after the long, tiring class.

Then it was time. I was surprised to see that nearly every girl and boy in my class was there – were they
all
planning to audition for the NBS? We lined up in the centre of the studio and waited.

Ms Ellergren walked up and down, looking at each one of us as she talked. ‘I rarely run a special class like this, but that is for a good reason. I'm not just looking for those who will audition next month for the National Ballet School. I'm looking for total commitment and dedication. You will have to attend two extra classes per week, as well as your normal Saturday class. You will not be allowed to miss a single class, unless –' a tiny smile curved on her mouth, ‘you get run over by a bus.' A few girls giggled, then hushed again.

I definitely had the commitment and dedication part.

She clapped her hands. ‘You have heard what it is going to be, what is required. Some of you may wish to leave now. If so, away you go.'

Nobody moved.

‘Very well. I will watch four of you at a time.' She quickly divided us into fours and, with Mimi playing the piano, each group was taken through a series of exercises, some of which we'd never done before. She made us do arabesques, jumps and pirouettes, and I was so glad that I'd practised hard all week. My pirouettes felt as close to perfect as I could get them, but Ms Ellergren never said a word, or even smiled.

Finally, we got to the sequence of steps she'd given us. At that point, she sent us all outside and we had to dance alone. I stood in the foyer, my eyes glued to the picture of Ms Ellergren in
Swan Lake,
while everyone flexed and bent, staying warm as we waited. The Silhouettes kept to themselves in one corner, with their backs to us. That was fine by me. Lucy stood alone, her face miserable, her eyes closed. She looked like she was counting silently and I guessed she was going over the steps yet again.

‘Brynna.' My turn. I wiped my hands with my towel and went in.

‘The steps, please.'

I knew them so well that I could focus on flow and grace and avoid rushing the sequence and messing it up.

‘Good,' she said. ‘Now, Mimi will play some music for you. I want you to dance the steps to the music, then keep going. Create your own steps; show me how you would continue the dance.'

One part of me was astonished – I'd never been in an audition like this before. Usually people only wanted to see perfection in what you'd learnt. Another part of me said
Thanks, Ricky.
I'd already had a go at this because of him.

I waited for the music to start, and danced. Most of the steps I'd worked out fell into place almost perfectly, some of the jumps not so well, and when the music continued, I repeated the first sequence.

‘Excellent. Thank you. I will let you know by Sunday evening whether you've been selected or not.'

‘Thank you, Ms Ellergren.' I curtseyed low and left. It was over!

Lucy grabbed me as I passed through the foyer. ‘What do you have to do? Is it just the steps? Please tell me.' Her face was dismal and I didn't know what to say. Was it cheating to tell her? But someone else had overheard and said, ‘Lucy, that's not fair. Everyone has to be even.'

‘Sorry,' I said, and headed for the changing room.

Outside, I fell into the front seat of our car, my arms and legs suddenly all floppy. ‘How did it go?' Mum said.

‘I've got no idea. I felt like I danced well, but –'

‘Did all your extra practice help?'

‘Yes, and it was amazing. This dance sequence she told us to learn, well, I've been working on that and yesterday Ricky asked me what would come next, so I sort of worked out these steps, and that's exactly what Ms Ellergren wanted me to do. It was so weird – like he could see into my future – and it really helped.'

Mum looked a bit taken aback. ‘Who's Ricky?'

‘Um, a friend. You know.'

‘From school?'

‘No, he's from round here. He's been helping me with the tables at the youth hall.' I was terrified that she'd ask if she could meet him.

‘I see. Does he dance, too?'

‘No.' My brain zinged back to the idea I'd had before. ‘But he plays basketball and he's really good. He's the kind of person you could coach and he'd be a superstar.'

Mum's mouth twitched. ‘In your expert opinion.'

‘Yeah. But – he doesn't play in a team right now. Their basketball stadium burned down.'

‘Oh, that's a shame.'

I waited for her to say more, but she just started the car. I wasn't going to push it, because I might accidentally end up convincing her to coach Jade's team instead. No way was that going to happen! Besides, I had the special class to worry about. Even more than that, Ms Ellergren had reminded me that the NBS audition was only weeks away. Once it had felt like years; suddenly, it loomed awfully close. For few moments, panic flickered through me and I closed my eyes, trying to will it away.

With the class try-out over, the rest of Saturday and all day Sunday took as long to pass as I expected – forever. I'd missed Orrin's footy game, but his team had won again and he'd played the full four quarters and kicked five goals. On Sunday, he was off to a local gym to work out. Lucky him, to have his training to fill in time. The last thing I wanted to do was ballet. My body felt like a saggy jumping castle. On Sunday, Mum took one look at my gloomy face and decided that she and Dad and I were going to the movies. There was a comedy on and even Dad laughed instead of groaning like he usually did, and we ate pizza afterwards.

I checked my watch every five minutes until Mum made me take it off. ‘You're driving me nuts,' she said. We were home by five and then I had to wait. And wait. And wait.

Finally, around eight, the phone rang. I stared at it as if it was a snake.

‘Answer it, please,' said Mum.

‘Hello.'

‘Is that Brynna?'

‘Yes.'

‘It's Ms Ellergren here.'

My body froze, and I stopped breathing. Was it going to be yes? Or no?

chapter 17

Ms Ellergren kept talking, as if she had no idea I was nearly dying on this end of the line. ‘I'm calling to tell you that you are one of the six selected for my class.'

‘Oh.' It came out as a strangled squeak.

‘Are you there? Did you hear me?' She sounded a bit annoyed.

‘Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much.'

‘You mightn't be thanking me soon,' she said, laughing. ‘Now, can I speak to your mother, please?'

I handed the phone to Mum, then jumped up and down like a Mexican jumping bean until Mum grabbed my arm and made me sit.

‘Yes, Ms Ellergren. Yes, that is a bit of a problem. I don't know. We'll have to talk about it here. Yes. Yes. That'd be helpful. Yes. Thanks. Goodbye.'

Problem? What problem?

Money.
Her big frown was telling me that, right now. No money, no class. But just this morning, she'd said it might be possible! I slouched in the chair, feeling my excitement drain out of me like water from the bath. ‘But I got in!' I said.

‘I know.'

Dad came into the kitchen. ‘Uh-oh, gloomy faces. Well, better luck next time, Brynnie.'

‘It's not that, Dad. I was selected.'

He looked at Mum and raised his eyebrows. ‘What are we up for? A million dollars a week?'

‘Dad!' I hated him joking about something so important to me.

‘Almost. She's making the classes longer, so the fee has increased.' Mum tapped her fingers on the table in a drum roll. ‘She's offered us a way out. A deal. If we want it. It smacks of charity to me, and you know how I feel about that.'

‘What did she say?' I asked.

‘She needs someone to clean the studio twice a week. Her old cleaner's retired and she's offering the job to us – well, I guess that means me – in return for all of your class fees.'

‘That'd work out great,' I said.

‘Except that I'm so tired when I finish work, there's no way I can take on a cleaning job as well. And your dad's the same. We work long hours on our feet. The thought of cleaning that huge place – I can't do it.'

‘I could do most of it,' I said. ‘I wanted to get a job anyway.'

‘You're twelve,' Dad said. ‘It'd be too big a job for you. Mum's right: we couldn't cope.'

‘So what are you saying?' I said. ‘I can't be in the class, because we can't afford it, and I can't clean the studio to pay for it. What's the point, then? Why did we even bother moving down here?' I could hear my voice getting louder, but I couldn't stop. ‘We made all those big changes, moved house, you got new jobs, we had to go to new schools – for what? For me? For my dancing? This class is my first big opportunity and I can't do it. Let's all go home right now.'

‘Brynna!' Mum said.

‘Go home?' Orrin had walked in behind Dad. ‘I'm not going home. I'm on a roll!'

‘Well, lucky you, then!' I snapped.

‘What's the prob?' Orrin asked. ‘Fill me in.'

Mum explained it to him while I sat, arms tightly crossed, fuming. Every time I tried to imagine telling Ms Ellergren I couldn't be in her class, my eyes filled with tears, then I'd blink hard and force them back.

‘That's cool,' Orrin said. ‘The cleaning'll pay for the classes, but none of you can do it. So why don't I do it?'

‘You?' said Mum. ‘You can't even keep your room clean.'

‘Excuse me,' he said, ‘that was Tam. My room's totally neat, now he's outta there.'

‘Would you clean the studio for nothing? To help me?' I couldn't believe it.

‘Nah, course not. But if Mum paid me what she's paying right now for your Saturday class, that'd do me. It'd save me looking for something else, which I'd been thinking about. The guy at the gym offered me a cleaning gig, but it's too sweaty and smelly there for me.' He grinned at all of us and spread his hands out. ‘Is that a cool solution or what?'

‘Super cool!' I said.

‘I'd pay you more than that,' Mum said. ‘It'd be worth it.'

‘Majorly cool,' Orrin said. ‘Okay, when's dinner?'

I could hardly eat, but Mum set a plate of pasta and cheese in front of me and a fork in my hand. My brain was working overtime, trying to imagine what the new classes would be like and how hard they'd be. Three classes a week! This was quite a step up. Before, I'd been so focused on getting picked, but now I could see that it had been the proof I'd wanted – that I truly was good enough. As well as the classes, I'd still be practising in the youth hall.

As I speared curly bits of pasta, I daydreamt about Ricky being in my ballet class. Would he hate the classical music, or would he prefer modern dance? Ms Ellergren didn't seem too interested in anything modern. I'd seen some fabulous male dancers on video and in movies, and Ricky seemed strong enough and graceful enough to be a very good artist.

But he'd have to really want to do it, not just have fun with me. Who knew what that might lead to? Maybe one day he'd come along to watch a class at Ms Ellergren's and decide to give it a go.

There was no point dreaming about it, though. As Mum said, my dream was not for everyone, and determination and passion had to play a big part, otherwise you just didn't stay the distance.

It was so hard to get to sleep after dinner. My brain zoomed back and forth, and ballet kept getting mixed up with the family stuff and school. My family had done so much for me, and sometimes I felt weighed down by the expectations and totally freaked out about the possibility of failing. But, as Mum said, we were all healthy, we had a place to live, some money (if not lots), and I had my dream. There were heaps of kids in the world who had none of that, who didn't even have a mum and dad to provide food, and it made me feel all mixed up. Was I supposed to feel guilty, or grateful? Or both?

Finally, I fell asleep and woke the next morning with a headache. On the way to school, I remembered Lucy and almost turned around and ran home again. I was sure she wouldn't have been selected – what was I going to say to her? There was no point pretending I hadn't been chosen.

When I reached our classroom and saw her there, crying, I stopped by the door and waited. What could I say? Obviously I was sorry, but was there anything that would make her feel better? Nothing I could think of.

Jade saw me waiting, glared at me and then whispered in Lucy's ear. Lucy turned to me, tears streaking her face, but she didn't ask. I nodded. I couldn't lie. Was Lucy going to burst into new tears?

But she sniffed loudly a couple of times, blew her nose and shrugged off Jade's arm. Then she came over to me. ‘You really got in?'

‘Yeah. Lucky, hey?'

‘No, you deserved it. You're good.' She sighed. ‘Do you think Stephanie was picked?'

‘I sure hope not. She'll probably try to trip me, or run me over with her mum's 4WD.'

Lucy smiled a little, her chin wobbling. ‘That's the down side, for sure.'

‘I'm sorry you didn't get in,' I said.

‘Mum was having a hissy fit over having to drive me to the extra classes anyway, so at least she's happy. What did your mum say?'

‘The extra fees are our problem, but I think it'll work out.'

‘Good luck,' she said, squeezing my arm, and happiness bubbled through me again.

I couldn't wait to see Ricky after school and, as soon as he'd climbed in the hall window, I grabbed him and swung him round. ‘I made it, I got picked!' I said. ‘And it was thanks to you.'

‘Whoa, what'd I do?' He stood with his arms folded and eyeballed me.

‘On Friday, you asked me what came next in the dance, remember? You said something else had to happen, to follow on, and I tried out more steps.'

‘Yeah, so?'

‘That is
exactly
what she asked me to do in the audition. And because I'd already done it for you, I could dance the steps for her.'

‘Way to go,' he said, but his face wasn't happy at all.

‘What's the matter? Aren't you pleased for me?'

‘Sure. But with the extra classes, you won't be doing this anymore.' He gestured around the room. ‘The practice thing.'

Aha! He thought I was going to ditch the youth hall and him, and he wouldn't be able to dance with me. ‘No, I need to do this, too. Practice is important. Are you still going to help me and do it with me?'

‘Yeah, I guess so. Why not?' he said, trying to sound like he didn't care much either way. But I knew he did.

‘Let's get started then.'

We folded and moved the tables, then took off our jackets to start. I tied the ribbons on my ballet shoes and stood up, ready to begin with a chair, and suddenly noticed something different. Something that made my eyes bug out of my head!