One Wicked Night (20 page)

Avery nodded, her mouth turning down at the corners. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“I’m going home now,” Kaelin said.

“Thank you again for all you did.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “My mom would have had things so over the top. I couldn’t handle getting sucked into that old pattern, of her taking over and telling me what to do. I wanted it to be my wedding, and I was afraid I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to her.”

Kaelin bent her head. And Avery thought
she
was? “Oh, Avery. Of course you are.”

Avery shook her head. “I know it was a lot of work to deal with her, but she loves you.”

Kaelin snorted. “Probably not anymore.” They hugged tightly.

The long drive back to Chicago was mostly silent. Nick flipped through copies of trade magazines as Tyler drove. His jaw ached, his neck and shoulders so tight every movement was painful.

He thought. A lot. About all kinds of things. About his parents. About the glum realization of how much he’d contributed to the discord between them. How stubborn and stupid he’d been.

He thought about Avery and her confession, a sad admiration filling him at her courage. Of course, years later, there wasn’t much that was going to happen. His parents would still love her. Nobody was going to throw her in jail over that now. But she’d done it for him and she hadn’t had to, and that filled him with a funny warm glow.

But mostly he thought about Kaelin and how crazy brave she’d been to walk in there and spill her guts. God. And he thought about the hurt look on her face when he’d yelled at her, and especially when he told her he’d deliberately set up that scene so she’d see it. She’d looked ready to fall on the floor.

Shit.

“Gotta stop for gas,” he said to Nick. Nick just grunted.

He pulled off the interstate when he saw the sign for a service station, stood there filling the Jeep as sunshine warmed his face and the June breeze ran soft fingers through his hair. Nick got out and used the bathroom and he did too after he paid for the gas, then they climbed back in and resumed their drive home without saying more than a few words.

And he had to think about Nick too. Nick sitting there beside him, quiet, unreadable. Was he pissed at him? Disappointed in him? Feeling sorry for him?
He thought about Nick’s comment earlier, about how insulting it was to him that Tyler thought Kaelin was too good for him–but Nick wasn’t.
The guy drove him crazy, had pushed him into doing that, and look what a mess it had turned out to be. Yet he couldn’t blame him and he knew Nick was right. He had to get this chip off his shoulder and move on.

He’d actually thought he had, over the years, that it had just faded away, until he’d gone home and all those old emotions had resurrected it, a big hulking chip monster sitting on his shoulder, making him say and do things he knew were so fucked up.

Nick was right. It was time to grow up. He’d tried to tell his parents. It hadn’t worked. Oh well. At least he’d done it. He’d come clean with everyone. He’d hurt Kaelin, but once again, that was for the best. Sleeping with her hadn’t been the smartest thing he’d ever done. But it had been the hottest. And the most incredibly emotional and moving and…forget it.

Maybe after his parents thought about it, they’d realize he was telling the truth. Or maybe not. But at least he’d done it, and whatever the outcome was, he’d deal with it. Having the respect and love of his parents would be nice, but he could live without it and at least he now had the satisfaction and self-respect of knowing he’d made an effort and tried to set things right.

The only thing that worried him was what the fallout was going to be from Kaelin’s impetuous confession. If word got out about her, she was going to find life in Mapleglen difficult. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek as he drove and thought about that. About what he could do about that.

Not much.

Dammit. Why the
fuck
had she done that? Pressure built inside him again, thinking about it, wishing she was there so he could turn her over his knee and spank her cute little ass. Gah.

Once they were home and in their apartment, Nick opened the refrigerator and stared into it. “Got nothing to eat,” he said.

“Order pizza,” Tyler said, heading into his bedroom to change. He tossed jeans and T-shirt into the hamper and found a pair of baggy shorts and a clean shirt. When he returned to the living room, Nick had changed too, into similar clothes.

“Pizza’ll be here in forty minutes,” he said. He threw himself onto the couch. “You ready to talk yet? I thought your head was gonna explode on the way home, you were thinking so hard.”

Tyler smiled reluctantly and sat beside Nick. “I don’t want to talk.”

“I know.”

Tyler eyed his buddy. “I did what you wanted me to.”

“Yeah.” Nick nodded. “You faced your parents, told them the truth.”

“I don’t think they believed me.”

Nick held his gaze. “You can’t control that. But at least you manned up and did your part.”

“Yeah.”

After a pause, Nick said, “What about Kaelin?”

“What about her?”

“You were pretty hard on her.”

“I was pissed at her! Why’d she do that, the stupid little idiot!”

“She’s not stupid. And you know why she did it.”

Tyler blew out a breath. “Yeah, I know, and like I said, she’s a stupid idiot to even think of doing something like that for me.”

Nick sighed.

Kaelin sat on the small deck off the back of her house on Monday, the house she’d grown up in, the house her parents had left her after they’d both died. She could have sold it, bought herself something that was her own, and in fact she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t. It was an older house and there were always things that needed fixing that she didn’t know how to do. Money had been tight with her dad not working and she’d had to do a lot of fixing up over the last few years.

Yeah, there were happy memories there, but there were some tough ones, too, the despair and frustration of realizing her dad was never going to be the same, the embarrassment of him acting like a child sometimes, so difficult to handle for a teenager who didn’t like to attract attention to herself. Eventually she’d come to terms with it, realized she still loved her dad because he was her dad, even though he was really a different person, and no longer felt embarrassed but just accepted him for who he was.

She’d have the memories of her happy childhood no matter where she lived, so that wasn’t the reason she didn’t sell the house and move. She knew it was just because she was safe and secure there, with a roof over her head that was paid for, and that selling the house and finding a new place was scary.

Taz leaped off the deck and tore after a squirrel who’d dared to enter his yard, his sharp little bark deceptively ferocious. He stood at the foot of the maple tree, barking so hard all four feet lifted off the ground. She smiled. “C’mere, Taz,” she called. “Come.”

Taz turned and trotted back to her, leaped lightly onto her lap and put his little front feet on her chest to try to kiss her. She turned her head and let him lick her chin, then picked him up and hugged his solid, furry little body. She closed her eyes then set Taz on the deck.

She picked up her glass of iced tea and sipped it. The grass needed cutting. One more thing that needed to be done. Sometimes she paid Dillon down the street to cut it for her. Maybe she should go see if he was home. Summer vacation and its long empty days had kids his age, too young for a job but old enough to want to make a little money, looking for things like that to do.

Maybe in a while. She still felt tired, so tired, after that crazy weekend. Much of it was emotional exhaustion, she knew. She hadn’t taken Avery’s advice yet, hadn’t let herself think about Tyler because…she was afraid.

Shaking her head, she rose to her feet. Never mind finding Dillon, she’d cut the grass herself. She needed to keep busy, her two weeks of vacation stretching out empty in front of her giving her a hollow aching feeling inside. Actually her whole life stretched out empty in front of her. And the hollow ache intensified. But as she stepped off the deck, Margot Wirth appeared at her gate.

“Hi, Kaelin.”

Kaelin’s feet halted in surprise. “Hi, Mrs. Wirth. How are you? Is there something you need?” She thought about wedding decorations and flowers and gifts…was there something she’d forgotten to do?

“No. Just to talk to you for a few minutes. If that’s okay.”

Kaelin studied Mrs. Wirth’s face, the tension in her mouth and at the corners of her eyes, the shadows beneath her eyes. “Of course.” This had to be about yesterday. Geez. Mrs. Wirth was probably angry at her for her part in that big scene. Great. “Can I get you something to drink? Lemonade? Coffee?”

“No thanks. I’m fine.”

“Let’s sit.” Kaelin indicated the wicker chairs on her deck.

Mrs. Wirth took a seat, setting her designer handbag on the deck. She clasped her fingers together in her lap. “How are you, dear? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Kaelin hesitated. “How are you?” She regarded her friend’s mother with a touch of worry. Yesterday probably hadn’t been a real fun day at the Wirth home.

“I’m okay.” She gave a small smile. “I’m sorry that you got dragged into our family mess yesterday.”

Kaelin blinked. “Well. I sort of contributed to it.”

Mrs. Wirth’s smile went crooked. “You were very brave yesterday.”

Now Kaelin’s mouth fell open. “Um. Brave?”

“What you did was very…noble. For Tyler.”

“I just thought everyone should know the truth.”

“Yes. The truth is important.” She hesitated. “I want to tell you something. About me.”

“Okay.” Kaelin eyed her.

“When I was twenty, I got pregnant. With Avery. It was an accident. I was in college. Ken was much older and he insisted we get married. He wanted me to drop out of college and stay home with the baby. I was young, and in some ways, it was nice to have someone look after me, and Avery. Ken was a doctor and he made good money and I thought it would be a good life, married to him.”

Kaelin processed all this, a little mystified, not sure what to say.

“And it has been a good life. I love my husband and I love my children. Once Avery was born, I just wanted to be the best mother I could be. But it wasn’t what I pictured my life to be, when I was a twenty-year-old college student. And despite everything I’ve had, I’ve often felt a little…empty. As if I wanted more, which I told myself was just selfish and greedy. Considering how much I had.” Again she paused, then met Kaelin’s eyes. “I see some of that in you.”

Kaelin sat back in her chair, dropping her gaze to her knees. “Oh. Well.”

“You don’t have to tell me about it,” Mrs. Wirth said quickly. “I know you’ve had to give up things in your life. I also know you’re happy here, in some ways. But, Kaelin, dear, if there are things in life that you want, you should go after them. Now. Before you’re fifty years old and wondering what you’ve done with your life.”

Like her? Kaelin’s head spun, her image of Mrs. Wirth being turned inside out. She’d always been so perfect, the perfect wife, the perfect mother, with the perfect home. The idea that Mrs. Wirth felt this way boggled the mind.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” she said, in a near-whisper.

“Yes you are.” Mrs. Wirth gazed at her shrewdly.

Kaelin wanted to squirm in her chair. Mrs. Wirth knew a lot about her, after the last couple of days. Things she never would have dreamed of telling her. And yet, still she looked at her with affection and understanding. Kaelin’s throat tightened.

“I can’t…I’m afraid,” she choked out.

“What are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid because I want things I can’t have. And I’m afraid I want things I
can
have. And that scares me even more.”

“I don’t think you need to be as afraid as you are,” Mrs. Wirth said. “Are you worried about your job?”

“Yes.” She bit her lip. “If this gets out…”

“People love you, Kaelin. You might be surprised.” She rose to her feet. “I have to go.” She opened her arms for a hug and Kaelin too rose from her chair and went into her arms. “Think about what I said, okay?” She drew back and smiled at Kaelin.

“Yes. I will.”

Mrs. Wirth picked up her purse and left, and for some reason Kaelin felt like Mrs. Wirth was saying goodbye for a long time. Weird.

In a daze, she headed toward the garage where she kept her lawnmower. Cutting the grass didn’t stop her brain from working, though, as she pushed the mower back and forth over the small lawn first out front then in back. She kept hearing Mrs. Wirth’s words about going after what she wanted, and Nick’s words about whether she’d find that “something wilder” she wanted in Mapleglen and Avery’s words about Tyler caring about her. Avery had told her to think about why he’d been so angry at her. Yesterday. Saturday night. Ten years ago.

Could Avery be right? Could it be because he cared? But if he cared about her, why? Why would he push her away like that? Did Mrs. Wirth think the same thing?

She remembered pieces of their conversation that night in the hotel room, about how he never could live up to his parents’ expectations so he’d given up trying. About how it was easier to just let them think the worst of him. How she’d accused him of mocking her to make up for his own insecurities.

Her feet slowed and stopped in the middle of the yard as she stared at the big maple tree in the corner. Did he really think so little of himself that he thought he didn’t deserve to be loved? Had his parents really done that much of a number on him?

And yet he’d made such a life for himself—put himself through college, begun a successful career in a tough industry in a big city. She’d seen his accomplishments in those secret internet searches—the awards he’d won, the big advertising campaigns he’d been a part of, magazine articles about him even.

He’d been angry the night of the wedding after his parents had asked him to leave, and yeah, maybe some of that had been misplaced and directed at her when she’d come after him along with Nick. But maybe he really had been angry because she was putting her reputation at risk by doing that.