Only You (A Sweet Torment Novel) (2 page)

It was almost six o’clock when Governor Reese finally came back.

“Paige, can you come into my office please?” he said in a rough tone.

I hustled and followed him in, shutting the door behind me.

He sat behind his desk, smacked a manila envelope down, and ran his thumb and fingers along his brow as if trying to rub away a headache.

“Bill is resigning,” he said with no sweet coating to his words.

I stood in front of his desk, hands folded in front of me, staring in shock. I knew this was coming, but now that the reality of it hit, it was like taking on an extra fifty pounds of stress and fear. Now was the part I’d been dreading.

“I can help weather this storm, Governor,” I said. Ever since Roman started seeing my best friend, Amy, things were a little more relaxed between us. He was a good man, but he was still the governor of New York and our relationship was professional.

He looked up at me and something in his eyes made my stomach drop to the floor. “I don’t think you can, Paige. Several interns have come forward claiming to have had a sexual relationship with Bill.”

“Several?” I repeated. I’d heard there might be more than one, but it was still surreal to hear confirmation. I knew a lot of the interns. I also knew that most of them would do just about anything to climb the career ladder. All I could think about was Bill’s poor wife when she found out.

“I can help,” I said again. It took everything I had to put myself through college and get this job.

I left home the second I graduated high school. But age fifteen, after stepdad number three snuck into my room and mom didn’t believe me, was the turning point in my adolescence. Word got around town that I was the “girl who cried rape,” which led to an unflattering reputation. The kind that only attracted the wrong types of men. I spent the next couple years avoiding my house. But I was always viewed as trash. I knew it deep down. The guys who offered me an escape made it very clear I was beneath them since the entire town looked down on me already for accusing a respected man like Frank of attempted rape. I left and hadn’t looked back since.

Attracting assholes was a skill that followed me through college until my first internship event when I made the mistake of bringing the guy I was dating, and the night ended in him punching a city council member he claimed I was flirting with. That was when I swore off
that
kind of man. The bad boys with an easy smile and even easier view on life.

But after all the shit, the worst part was that my mother didn’t believe me, and she was still married to Frank. All that didn’t matter anymore though, because I was better now. I wasn’t that worthless, powerless girl with nothing. I strived every day for more. And that
more
was my job. There was very little in my life outside of it.

“I don’t think you can help, Paige.” Roman slid the envelope toward me.

Frowning, I took it and opened it. My heart instantly stopped. Which was odd since my pulse pounded in my ears harder.

Sickness rose in my throat and I thought for sure I’d pass out.

The photos were of Bill and me.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” I breathed, flipping through them.

One showed Bill leaning across a restaurant table, looking like he was about to kiss me. In another, he had his hand on my hip, his mouth by my ear. These were all taken when I first started working here and didn’t know how to handle his advances. He had asked me to dinner several times to “discuss work.” I went. I even smiled. Thinking that this was how things worked. I shrugged away whenever he got too close the best I could. It took me a few months to realize that Bill was “that kind of guy,” only a little more polished and in a suit. But judging by the photos, I looked like I was enjoying myself. Like there was more to it.

“Paige, you can tell me. If you two had a relationship that’s one thing. But—”

“No, we didn’t.”

He sighed and I recognized the look on his face immediately. Doubt. He didn’t believe me. At least not entirely.

“There’s nothing going on between Bill and me.” I waited until his eyes locked on mine and said, “Please believe me.”

“That’s not all.”

My breath caught.

“Funds from this last campaign have gone missing. You and Bill were big parts of this race and some of the interns said Bill bragged about accessing the funds to buy them gifts.”

“No.” I shook my head. “If Bill took money, I didn’t know about it. I never received anything from him.”

“Did you take any money?”

My nose stung and water crept behind my cheekbones to my eyes. “Of course not.”

He nodded. “I had to ask.”

I knew he did. It still hurt though. All of a sudden I was that girl again, clinging to the truth and begging someone I trusted to believe me.

“There’s going to be an investigation, but as long as you didn’t touch any of the campaign funds, you should be fine.”

Roman sat back in his chair. “You’re the best worker here, Paige. You’re bright and damn it . . .” he pinched the bridge of his nose and cut himself off from saying whatever was next. “I know how hard you’ve worked. I know it took a lot to get to where you are. Bill can be intimidating. He can make you think you need to do certain things to advance.”

My eyes shot wide. “Governor, I didn’t sleep with Bill.”

The fact that I had to restate that was insulting. Roman still looked confused and stressed, which told me one thing: He didn’t fully believe me.

“This will blow over,” he said as if half for my sake and half for his. “I don’t want to lose you. But until everything gets sorted out, allegations are going to fly and my main issue is making sure no one was assaulted or taken advantage of, and that the money is all accounted for and where it should be. Anyone considered involved in this can’t be on the inside.”

“And that means me?” I could hardly push past the anxiety in my throat to get the words out.

Roman’s chest rose on a deep breath and he nodded. “Your name is on a lot of receipts, and with missing money, the state is going to investigate.”

“Is there going to be a case prepared?”

“It depends on what is uncovered about Bill and the money trail. Right now, we’re not sure how deep this thing goes.”

I knew right then what he was saying. I was done. It was just a matter of how I left. He had an entire cabinet to think about. An entire state. This was bad. Really bad. And I was standing in the middle of it, with no corners to speak of, let alone anyone in them.

“I understand, Governor.” Lifting my chin, I tried not to burst into tears and said, “You’ll have my resignation on your desk in the morning.”

He gave a small nod. I stood and turned to leave, wondering what in the hell I was going to do.

“And, Paige?”

I looked at him and Roman’s eyes held a hint of anger and pain. “The press will start digging. If there was anything going on you don’t want aired, I suggest you take steps to conceal your personal life.”

Chapter Two

A
nother please,” I said to the bartender and he filled up my shot glass for the second time with tequila. Raising the cool glass to my lips, I threw my head back and let the liquor burn down my throat. When I brought the glass back down, a man with hypnotic blue eyes was sitting next to me.

“Rough day, Red?”

“You.” I had meant to growl it, since yeah, it was a rough day, but it came out more of a moan, because Leo the delivery guy was looking hot and I was feeling ready to take him on. I had a lot of anger, rage, and sadness welling up looking for a release.

“I’m glad you changed your mind,” he said with all the confidence he’d had earlier today.

“Don’t flatter yourself. This was the closest bar within walking distance.”

“So you don’t want a sandwich then?” He took my empty shot glass, sniffed it, then set it down. “I’ll have what she’s having,” he said to the bartender. The old man set a fresh glass down for Leo and filled it. “And can we get a water for the lady?”

“I’ve only had two.” Nowhere near enough to drown what was aching in my gut. “And you’re not in charge of me.”

He flipped his ball cap around so the bill was in the back. The gesture itself was hot. Him in a backwards hat, making that dark stubble, tan skin, and those bright eyes more noticeable. And even more devastating.

He drank his shot and smiled. “I wasn’t telling you to stop, but hydrating while drinking is never a bad thing.”

He motioned for another shot and while the bartender poured it, he gripped the back of my barstool and swiveled it to face him.

That blue gaze locked on me and I had a hard time thinking. For the last hour I’d been on the brink of crying and screaming, and neither had come out. I just sat there. A bubbling pool of emotion with no release. Shock was weighing heavily and I couldn’t even begin to contemplate how to move forward. So I decided to get drunk and deal with it tomorrow.

“Have you eaten?” he asked with genuine concern in his voice. A left turn from the cocky side of him I’d seen earlier today.

Why did he care? But he was acting all charming and gentlemanly and I had no defense against it. Truth was, I had forgotten about my protein shake earlier, so no, I hadn’t technically eaten today.

“I had a couple candies,” I admitted.

“Chocolate and tequila.” He threw back his second shot. “You’re going to need more than that.” He got the bartender’s attention and ordered some fries and a sandwich for me.

“Are you always this friendly to random strangers?” I asked. “Ordering food for me and whatnot?”

“We’re not strangers.” He winked. “We kissed at your desk today. Right before you told me to leave.”

“Hey, at least I was polite about it.” I smiled.

“That you were. Like I said, you’re sexy when you’re irritated.”

This man was obviously used to women falling at his feet, as evidenced by the numerous interested stares being flashed his way. He was so relaxed and laid back that he could go around saying things like that, calling women sexy, knowing it melted panties. And I knew it too. Hell, I had the proof.

Just when I thought I was loosening up, I remembered why I was here in the first place. Today my job, and my world, had ended. Something in my chest felt hollow and hurting at the same time.

Leo must have noticed my change in attitude because he asked, “You want to talk about it?”

My shoulders sank a little more and I shook my head. “Not really.”

Those stupid tears I’d been fighting all day threatened to line my lashes. I looked at him and palmed my forehead. “Have you ever worked so hard for something, to be someone, and you lose it? Because of lies? And there’s no one there to defend you . . . or believe you . . .”

And suddenly, I was fifteen again, staring up at my mom, praying she’d pick me, but she didn’t. And I was all alone.

Emotions were flooding and they ached. As though a hole had been carved out of my chest, because everything I had fought for over the years—moving out, graduating high school early, going to college, getting into politics—all of it didn’t matter. I was still that same girl from a trailer in Indiana.

My clothes felt cheap.
I
felt cheap. Like the facade I had been presenting the past decade was cracking.

My scalp burned from the tight updo. My blouse itched and the waist of my skirt felt too restrictive.

I wanted today to be over.

At least for one night, I wanted to forget all about the scandal and just breathe.

“I don’t see how anyone couldn’t believe you,” Leo said.

“What makes you say that? You don’t even know me.”

“No, I don’t. But I’d like to,” he said softly. “And I know you’re honest, because you told me to fuck off today.”

I laughed, deciding to take the same approach now. Fuck today.

I released the pin holding my hair up and let all the red curls tumble down. I needed a break from my world.

“Ready for shot number three, delivery boy?”

He grinned and motioned for the bartender. “Bring it on, Red.”

One more shot, a handful of fries, and half a sandwich later, I was feeling good. Beyond good. I was actually laughing. The dull hum of depression and loss still thumped in the back of my skull, but between the tequila and Leo’s sexy smile, it was hard to focus on anything else.

Hours could have passed, and likely did, and Leo just sat there, talking with me. Nothing too personal, just enough surface conversation to get a grin and maybe a few brushes of my hands along his forearm.

And I’m pretty sure that last laugh was more like a giggle.

“Doing okay there, Red?”

I met his eyes, then looked at where my hand was . . . on his leg. Still on the same barstools facing each other, our legs woven together. The scratchy brush of his denim-clad knee grazed the inside of my thigh. It wasn’t a very ladylike position to sit in, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. And my flared skirt covered me enough so that I wasn’t flashing my panties at anyone.

“Yeah,” I breathed and scooted a little closer. Effectively bringing his bent knee within range of a very neglected part of my body. A part that was currently weeping for him. A part that had been wet since this afternoon when he walked into my world.

“You sure?” he said, but his voice was a bit rougher than it had been a moment ago. “You seem to be getting a little handsy.”

I slid to the edge of the stool, my center making blessed contact with his knee, and put my hands behind my back.

“My hands are nowhere near you, delivery boy.”

Something dark and wicked and so damn hot flashed in his eyes. Whatever was going on in his mind to make him look at me like that, I wanted to experience it. Right then. Everything about my life was in shambles, but in that moment, Leo was there, sex and swagger dripping from him, and I wanted to get lost in it.

I wiggled my hips again and gasped. It was pathetic how easily I could come and how desperately I wanted to. It had been a long time. Not only that, but a man like Leo was obviously skilled and knew exactly how to make a woman scream.

God, I wanted to scream.

He unleashed a sexy grin. “I’ve got to admit, you’re making me a little anxious, Red.”

I didn’t believe him for a second. Everything about Leo was laid back and calm. But when he started moving his knee, faster and faster, rubbing against me, I knew his intention.

“I don’t think anything can make you anxious,” I said. My eyes slid shut for a moment as his subtle ministrations sent me higher and higher. Between the close proximity of our bodies and my skirt hiding the majority of what he was doing, I didn’t care in the slightest that we were in public, at a bar, surrounded by people. Thank God I had opted for a billowy skirt today.

“In fact,” I moaned, “I think you’re the one making me anxious.”

“That so?” His voice was thick, yet playful.

I nodded. “I think you make a lot of women feel this way . . .”

“What way is that?”

Wanted.
But instead of saying it out loud, my breath caught in my throat because I was climbing higher. The intensity of his presence and the way he was working my body was amazing.

“Red?”

When my eyes opened, I saw his gaze searing me. Grabbing my purse, I hopped up and stood in front of him between his legs. His pants looked a little tighter than they had a moment ago. I didn’t say anything, just kept his stare, then wove through the crowd toward the back. He followed. When I reached the ladies’ room, I opened the door and he followed me in.

Locking the door behind him, I tossed my purse to the ground, grabbed him by the belt, and yanked him toward me.

My back crashed against the wall and Leo crashed against my front.

“I want you,” I said, matter-of-factly, but there was a slight tremble in my voice and I wished there wasn’t. Because I did want him. So much. I wanted to forget everything, have one moment of peace and pleasure before the night turned into tomorrow and the real world came knocking on my door.

No, not yet. No real world yet. I just wanted him. Leo. Simple and good . . . and maybe just enough bad boy to feed my craving.

“You’ve been drinking,” he said, mouth hovering over mine. He was trying to be a gentleman, which was admirable, but I wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m buzzed at best,” I said and tugged his belt again, feeling his hard cock against my stomach. “It’s cute you’re trying to be all nice and concerned but I’m a big girl. I know what I’m doing and what I want.”

“And what’s that?”

I raised to my tiptoes and bit his lower lip. “You.”

Something like a growl came from him and he crushed his lips against mine. Without hesitation I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Hard.

I tugged his hat off and let it fall by my purse. His big hands cupped my face, turning and angling me so he could plunge his tongue deep and get a better taste. Whatever notion I had about Leo was turning out to be right. He didn’t kiss, he consumed. He didn’t cling to me, he engulfed me with his presence.

I met every thrust of his tongue with my own. Hard, wild, fast. Our breaths merged and teeth clattered. There was nothing slow or sweet or cute about this. It was sex. Would be. Purely physical and I needed it. Needed him.

I unfastened his belt and the clang of metal opening was like a chorus. I was so close to getting him, getting something my body had been needing for a long time now:

Connection.

To get lost in someone else. Forget the world. Take a break from my own life.

He mumbled something against my mouth and for the first time, I heard the words tinted with an accent. European. Greek maybe? Whatever it was, it only stoked the fire hotter and I swallowed every syllable and let it buzz through me.

Just as I got his pants opened and was about to reach for his cock, he gripped my wrists in his hands and brought them over my head against the wall, pinning me. I gasped and tried to break his hold.

“You’re struggling, Red,” he rasped. “Do I scare you?”

“No,” I moaned, and shimmied to get closer to him, but his hold was tight. “I’m not scared. I want to touch you.”

He leaned back enough to nudge the tip of his nose against mine and grinned. “You like to be in control?”

He ground his hips against mine and a shocking jolt of pleasure shot through my entire core.

“Yes.”

He had me pinned and I reached out the only way I could, with my tongue. I flicked it against his mouth and he groaned.

“Demanding woman.” He smiled and kissed me hard again. But it was brief because that now heavily accented mouth trailed from my lips to my neck, biting and sucking. All the way to the swell of my breast. He growled when he encountered the material of my shirt.

Transferring both my wrists into one hand and keeping them pinned above my head, he used his now free hand to jerk a few buttons of my blouse open and tug my bra down, wedging it beneath my breasts—plumping them up.

“Fucking amazing,” he said, and latched onto one aching nipple. I moaned to the ceiling and arched my back, silently begging him for more.

My mind was scattered. All I could think—could say—was, “Deeper, harder, anything. Just more . . . please, Leo.”

And he did just that.

Sucking hard on the peak then biting a little before licking my entire breast and moving to the next one.

“You’re like raspberries.” The scrape of his teeth against my sensitized skin made me gasp. “And cream.”

He ran his tongue from my nipple to the underside of my breast, and back. His touch, his mouth, and comparing me to a dessert only made me wetter.

I rested my temple against his forearm, letting him devour my body however he would. I reached for him with my hips, grinding and getting closer with every sweet piece of friction I could find.

He pulled away and let my arms loose. I instantly went back to working his jeans open while he pulled a condom from his back pocket. When I shoved his pants low on his hips, his cock sprang free.

My eyes went wide and my hands stilled as I watched him roll the condom onto his impressive length.

Rucking my skirt up to my hips, he cupped my ass and lifted me up. My legs instantly wrapped around his waist and he pressed me against the wall once more.