Onyx (41 page)

Daemon had lost Dawson all over again. The injustice of it ate away at me.

I reached between us, placing my hand on his arm. He glanced at me briefly but said nothing. Settling back against the seat, I watched the scenery blur by in a mesh of shadows. I kept my hand on his arm, though, hoping it brought him comfort like he’d given me earlier.

By the time we reached the main route leading to our road, I could barely keep my eyes open. It was late, past midnight, and the only good thing I had going was my mom was in fact at work and not wondering where in the hell I’d been all day. There had probably been texts from her, and she wasn’t going to be happy when I responded with some lame excuse.

Mom and I were going to have to talk. Not now, but soon.

We pulled into Daemon’s driveway and the SUV idled to a stop. Dee’s Jetta was in the driveway, along with Matthew’s car. “Did you call them, tell them what happened to…me?”

He took a breath and I realized he hadn’t been breathing this whole time. “They wanted to help find you, but I had them stay here in case…”

In case things had gone badly. A very smart move. At least Dee hadn’t experienced the piercing hope that turned into bottomless despair like Daemon had.

“If the mutation doesn’t hold, I will find Will,” he said, “and I’m going to kill him.”

I was probably going to help, but before I could respond, Daemon leaned over the center console and kissed me. The tender touch was so at odds with what he’d just said. Deadly and sweet—that was what Daemon was; two very different kinds of souls rested in him, fused together.

Daemon pulled back with a shudder. “I can’t…I can’t face Dee right now.”

“But won’t she worry?”

“I’ll text her as soon as you’re settled.”

“Okay. You can stay with me.”
Always
, I wanted to add.

A wry grin appeared on his lips. “I’ll get out before your mom comes home. Swear.”

That would be a good idea. He asked me to wait while he got out and came around the front of the SUV, slower than he normally moved. Tonight had taken its toll. He opened the door and reached in for me.

“What are you doing?”

He arched a brow. “You haven’t had shoes on this entire time, so no more walking.”

I wanted to tell him that I could walk, but some inherent instinct told me not to push it. Daemon needed this, needed to take care of someone right now. I relented and scooted to the edge of the seat.

The front door to his house swung open, slamming against the clapboard like a gunshot. I froze, but Daemon spun around, his hands closing into fists, preparing to face anything and expecting the worst.

Dee rushed out. Strands of dark curly hair streamed behind her. Even from where I was, I could see the tears glistening on her pale cheeks, under her swollen eyes. But she was laughing. She was smiling, babbling nonsense, but she was
smiling
.

I slipped out of the seat, wincing as coldness bit deep into my flesh. Daemon took a step forward as the front door started to swing shut but stopped. A tall and thin form filled the doorway, swaying like a reed. As the form drifted forward, Daemon stumbled.

Oh God, Daemon never stumbled.

The why sunk in slowly, and I blinked—too scared to believe what I was seeing. It all seemed surreal. Like maybe I’d fallen asleep on the way back, and I was dreaming something too perfect.

Because under the glow of the porch light was a boy with dark wavy hair curling around broad cheekbones, lips that were wide and expressive, and eyes that were dull but still such a striking shade of green. An exact replica of Daemon stood on the porch. Gaunt and pale, but it was like seeing Daemon in two spots.

“Dawson,”
Daemon croaked out.

Then he broke into a dead run, feet pounding over frozen ground and up the steps. Wetness gathered in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks as Daemon threw his arms out, his broader body blocking his brother’s.

Somehow, someway, Dawson was home.

Daemon pulled his brother to him, but Dawson… He was just standing there, arms limp against his sides, his face as beautiful as his brother’s but painfully empty.

“Dawson…?” Uncertainty carried in Daemon’s voice as he pulled back, twisting my insides into raw, nervous little knots that traveled up my throat, getting stuck and stealing my breath.

As the two brothers stared at each other, with the wind blowing loose flakes of snow on the ground, sending them swirling into the night sky, I remembered what Daemon had said earlier. He had been right. In that moment, everything did change…for the better and for the worse.

Writing acknowledgments is probably the hardest part of the book-making business. Every time, I feel like I forgot someone terribly important, and like Katy would say, that would make me a douche canoe.

I want to thank my family and friends for not hating me when I ignore them for days to finish a book. A huge shout-out and a big thank-you to the book lovers and bloggers out there. Your love for the Lux series…and Daemon awes me.

A big thank-you to Liz Pelletier, the editor behind the Lux Series and the one who demanded that I put more Daemon into
Onyx
. Yeah, thank her. Thank you to my awesome publicist, Misa, and the rest of the crew at Entangled. And, of course, I can’t forget my awesome agent, Kevan Lyon, and foreign rights agent, Rebecca Mancini, and all the hard work they do.

Also, thank you Wendy Higgins!

Thanks to Cindy, Carissa, Lesa, and Angela for actually reading this before the red pen got a hold of it.

Read one of your favorite ONYX scenes from Daemon’s point of view, and then catch a sneak peek of one of Entangled Teen’s hottest new YA releases...

Daemon

The entire world was crashing down on us. That son of a bitch Blake—I should’ve killed him the moment I first saw him. I should’ve killed him now. Kat had
lied
to me. Adam was dead. Dee was destroyed. The DOD would be knocking on our doors any damn second, I still had no idea where Dawson was, and the only thing I could think about—cared about—was what Kat was telling me. That she had never felt this way about anyone before. That she couldn’t catch her breath and that she felt alive.

And she was talking about how she felt about
me
.

“But none of this matters,” she continued, “because I know you really hate me now. I understand that. I just wish I could go back and change everything! I—”

I moved too fast for her to track and clasped her cheeks. “I never hated you.”

She blinked, and God, I couldn’t stand it if she cried. “But—”

“I don’t hate you now, Kat.” My gaze locked with her watery one. “I’m mad at you—at myself. I’m so angry, I can taste it. I want to find Blake and rearrange parts of his body. But do you know what I thought about all day yesterday? All night? The one single thought I couldn’t escape, no matter how pissed off I am at you?”

“No,” she whispered.

My chest constricted. “That I’m lucky, because the person I can’t get out of my head, the person who means more to me than I can stand, is still alive. She’s still there. And that’s you.”

A tear trailed down her cheek. “What…what does that mean?”

“I really don’t know.” I chased after the tear with my thumb. “I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, what a year from now is going to be like. Hell, we may end up killing each other over something stupid next week. It’s a possibility. But all I do know is what I feel for you isn’t going anywhere.”

She started to cry harder, and it made me weak in the knees. I bent my head, kissing the tears away until that wasn’t enough and I
needed
a taste of her. I kissed her, growling at the way her lips felt against mine.

But Kat pulled back. “How can you still want me?”

I pressed my forehead against hers. “Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I’m insane. You’re crazy. Maybe that’s why. Maybe we’re meant to be together.”

“That makes no sense.”

“It kind of does, to me at least.” I kissed her again. I had to. “It might have to do with the fact you finally admitted you’re deeply and irrevocably in love with me.”

She let out a weak, shaky laugh. “I
so
did not admit that.”

“Not in so many words, but we both know it’s true. And I’m okay with it.”

“You are?” She closed those beautiful, heather-gray eyes, and all I could think was how grateful I was she was still breathing.

Man, I was turning into a pansy.

But I didn’t care. Not when it came to her.

“It’s the same for you?” she asked.

My answer was to bring our mouths together again…and again. The touch was like tapping into the Source, sending lightning straight to the soul. The kiss deepened until there was no me, no her. It was just us, and it wasn’t enough—could never be enough.

I was moving without realizing it, and the next thing I knew we were on the bed and she was right where I wanted her—in my lap. And then she was beside me on the bed, and my heart was doing crazy crap in my chest. Such a human thing, but it was happening.

Kat breathed heavily. “This doesn’t change anything I’ve done. All of this is still my fault.”

Placing my hand on her stomach, I moved so close I was practically attached to her. And I wanted to be in so many different ways. “It’s not all your fault. It’s all of ours. And we’re in this together. We’ll face whatever is waiting for us together.”

“Us?”

I nodded, working on the buttons of her sweater. Some of them were buttoned incorrectly, and I laughed. Only Kat could have trouble putting clothes on correctly and somehow make it sexy. “If there is anything, there is
us
.”

Kat lifted her shoulders, and helped me get her out of the damn thing. Good. She was on board with where this was heading. “And what does ’us’ really mean?”

“You and me.” I moved down, tugging off her boots.

“No one else.”

Her cheeks flushed as she pulled off her socks and lay back down. Jesus, she still had on way too many clothes. “I…I kind of like the sound of that.”

“Kind of?” Bull. Shit. I slipped my hand down her stomach, to the hem of her shirt and underneath. I bit down on the inside of my cheek. The minor burn of pain did nothing. I loved the way her skin felt like satin. “Kind of isn’t good enough.”

“Okay. I do like that.”

“So do I.” I lowered my head, kissing her slowly. “I bet you love that.”

Her lips curved into a smile against mine. “I do.”

There was that damn constriction again, like I’d been punched in the chest, but in a good way. How you could be punched in a chest in a good way was beyond me, but damn, I sort of loved that feeling.

The sound that came from deep in my throat was more animal than Luxen or human. I kissed her still damp cheeks as she told me everything Blake had said and done, and I wanted to kill him all over again, but right now, I was with her and Kat was the only thing that mattered.

In between the kisses that unraveled me and then pieced me back together, I spoke things I never told anyone. How crazy I had felt after hearing Dawson was dead, and the hope I felt learning he had to be alive. I told her how badly I wished my parents were here, how sometimes I hated being the one who had to take care of things, and I admitted how jealous I had been when I saw her around Blake.

Everything I felt was in every touch and even what I didn’t see was in the way my fingers brushed over the fragile bones of her ribcage. And with every breathy, soft moan that escaped her lips, I was snared in her web a little more.

My hands shook as they moved up, and I hoped she didn’t notice. I was blown away, shattered by what she allowed me to do. Pieces of our clothing disappeared. My shirt. Hers. Kat’s hand drifted down my stomach, and I clenched my jaw so hard I was sure I was going to be paying a visit to a dentist soon.

When her fingers found the button on my jeans, I was completely lost to her, but in a way I never, ever expected.

“You have no idea how badly I want this,” I told her, bringing the tips of my fingers down her chest and over her stomach. So beautiful. “I think I’ve actually dreamed about it. Crazy, huh?”

She lifted a small hand, running the pads of her fingers down my cheek. I turned into the touch, pressing a kiss against the palm of her hand, and then I found her mouth again. This kiss was different, more intense, and Kat—aw, God—Kat came alive. Hips rocking together, our bodies fitted so tightly there was a good chance I would slip into my true form and knock out the power in the entire state.

Our explorations grew. Her hands were everywhere, and I urged her with words and touches to go further. Her leg curled around my hips—sweet, baby Jesus—I was nearly undone.

With my name on her lips and with barely anything separating us, I felt the last of my control slipping. Whitish-red light radiated off of me, bathing Kat in the warm glow. There was nowhere that my hands didn’t explore, and the way her body arched into the slightest touch, I was awed and consumed. Kissing her and drawing her deep inside me, I never wanted this to end. She was perfect to me. She was
mine,
and I wanted her more than I wanted anything in my life.

But I stopped.

Everything that had happened flipped through my head like a photo album I wanted to burn. Both our emotions were all over the place. There had been death, discovery, and so much more. And we were rushing headfirst into not turning back.

I didn’t want our first time to be like this—to be because of what happened.

My God, I
was
a mushy pansy ass, but I stopped.

Kat stared up at me, running her hands over my stomach and making it really hard to slam on the brakes. “What?” she asked.

“You…you’re not going to believe me.” Hell, I didn’t believe it. In a couple of seconds, I was really going to regret this. “But I want to do this right.”

She started to smile. “I doubt you could do this wrong.”

Ha. “Yeah, I’m not talking about
that
. That I will do perfectly, but I want to…” Break out the subscription to the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime Movie Network. “I want us to have what normal couples have.”

Kat looked like she was going to cry again. I’d probably be crying soon, but for a totally different reason.

I cupped her cheek, exhaling roughly. “And the last thing I want to do is stop, but I want to take you out—go on a date or something.” I sounded like an idiot. “I don’t want what we’re about to do to be overshadowed by everything else.”

I think I might have blushed. Damn me.

Calling on every ounce of self-control I had, I did the unthinkable and lifted off her, easing down on my side. I wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close. I brushed my lips across her temple. “Okay?”

Kat tipped her head back, meeting my stare. Her throat worked on her next words. “I think I might love you.”

Air punched out of my lungs. I held her tight, and I knew right then I would burn down the whole universe for her if I had to. I would do anything to keep her safe. Kill. Heal. Die. Anything. Because she was my everything.

And I wanted to tell her so, but I didn’t want to tempt the universe. Bad things happened to the people I loved.

I kissed her cheek. “Told you.”

Kat stared at me.

I chuckled, and although it didn’t seem possible, I moved closer. “My bet—I won. I told you that you’d tell me you love me on New Year’s Day.”

Looping her arms around my neck, she shook my head. “No. You lost.”

I frowned. “How do you figure?”

“Look at the time.” She tipped her chin toward the clock on the wall. “It’s past midnight. It’s January second. You lost.”

For several moments I stared at the clock, wishing it into a black hole, but then my gaze found hers and I smiled—really smiled. “No. I didn’t lose. I still won.”