Open Your Eyes (6 page)

Chapter
Eleven

Natalie

During the day Olivia and I amused ourselves, doing touristy things. Yet my thoughts kept drifting to Nick. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. If only I had a valid reason to pop into MoMA just to see him. Waiting all day till dinnertime felt excruciatingly long.

“Nick said he was tak
ing us for a special dinner tonight. And I just got a text from Sarah – we are going out afterwards so you guys can be alone. Subtle, very subtle,” she joked.

“Is that so?” I retorted, unable to keep the excitement from my voice. I had been aching for his touch yet had to settle for a chaste kiss
on the cheek in front of the young ladies each evening. Being alone with Nick was all I wanted for Christmas.

“Just as well we’ve been shopping up a storm. Now you’ve got something pretty to wear tonight,”
Olivia reminded me. I grimaced at how I had melted my credit card these last few days. She had talked me into buying more clothing in two days than I usually purchased over a full season. “Just in case,” she had said and sucker that I was, I hoped I would get to wear them all for Nick.

“Go with red tonight. It's daring and sexy – and Christmassy,” she threw in when she saw my eyebrows rise.

The dress I would wear tonight was a deep red silky jersey knit with a crossover at the waist, clinging to my body in the right places, just enough to make the absolute most of my assets, yet still be classy and elegant.

Out of necessity, I’d l
earned how to dress for the cold weather in New York. Layers. That was the answer. Something light underneath a heavy coat, scarf and gloves that were instantly discarded once inside the cozy warmth of a building.

After my shower
, I pulled on some of the new sexy lingerie we purchased that morning from Victoria’s Secret. I’d never thought I would be shopping there for myself when Olivia went into the store before.
So much can change so quickly.
I hadn’t purposely worn barely-there sexy black silk and lace underwear to seduce a man in a very, very long time.

Would
Nick like it? It felt naughty…and daring and outrageous.
Good.
Something I hadn’t felt since I’d last had three different flavored scoops of gelato on one waffle cone.

“Oh, your inner goddess must have
woken up,” the saleslady had chirped as she rang up my purchases. She’d seen my plain and practical underwear as she helped fit me with the correct size bra. I’d just rolled my eyes as Olivia stifled a snicker.
My inner goddess had left the temple years ago.
Boring beige and white cottons were the standard in my drawers, with an occasional lacy number for special occasions – until today.

What the hell was I
hoping? I’d bought five sets of deliciously decadent underwear in a moment of insanity. I may never even get to wear them all for Nick to peel off my body. After that first night, he didn’t try to touch me intimately again. Maybe he had lost interest? My heart sank as I realized he was probably only being nice because Sarah had bonded with Olivia.

Natalie, you fool!
Here I was all worked up at being alone with Nick tonight. He probably just wanted the girls to go out and have some fun with other people their own age.

There wasn’t time to change
. I shrugged into my coat and hoped that he wouldn’t think I was silly dressing so provocatively. That my efforts weren’t wasted and my heart crushed – again.

“You look gorgeous,
Mom. Nick won't be able to keep his eyes off you.” Olivia chuckled as we walked into the elevator. My heart squeezed. I wanted more than just his eyes on me, but eyes were a good start. God, how I hoped she was right.

Nick stood
waiting in the lobby. A grin split his face when he saw us walking toward him. “My favorite time of day,” he said as he planted a quick kiss on my and Olivia’s foreheads. He took my hand and pulled it through his arm, giving it a little squeeze that I felt all the way to my belly.

Sarah was already in the car wai
ting at the curb. She chatted excitedly with Olivia about their plans for a night out after dinner. Nick sat quietly listening to them, a mischievous grin lifting the corners of his mouth.

“I have plans for us too,” he said casually, still holding onto my hand, his eyes glistening.
Yes!
My insides did a crazy flip-flop.

Dinner was exquisite. An impeccable five
-course degustation menu – the finest in New York, no doubt. I didn’t even know places like this existed, never mind frequent them. There were so many glasses on the table; it confused me just looking at them. I hoped my manners were OK, that I used the right cutlery at the right times. Olivia seemed to be doing just fine. Was it only me who felt like a fish out of water? The server knew Nick by name; that had to be a bad sign. Did he bring all his dates here? I worried my lip at the thought.

“Natalie, you didn’t hear a word I said
.” Nick reached out and grabbed my hand. “Or is that a ‘No’?” His eyebrows knit into a scowl.

“What? I'm sorry? Were you talking to me?” My thoughts had thrown me completely off balance. How could I be jealous of Nick’s previous dates?
I’m here now, right?

“I asked you and
Olivia to join Sarah and me at my house in the Hamptons for Christmas. And if you like it there, we could maybe stay till New Year?” He watched my face eagerly. “We can leave first thing in the morning. The housekeeper is expecting us.”

“
Yeah, please say you’ll come,” Sarah interjected. “That would be so cool. Usually Uncle Nick has some really boring older people over. It would be great to have a friend for company.”

“You know I’ve always wanted to go to the Hamptons. What better time than now?”
Olivia pleaded.

I laughed. Spending Christmas with Nick and Sarah would be better than … A pang of guilt stabbed my heart. My
two boys were at home with their dad, thousands of miles away. The disappointed look on their faces when I told them Olivia and I weren’t going to be home for Christmas flashed before me. Even though Daniel and Robert were young adults and mature enough to understand, I still felt like I had abandoned them.

Gabriel
had wanted to know why we couldn’t spend Christmas together like a regular family. Except that we weren’t a family any more. Hadn’t been since we separated nearly two years ago. Yet he hated the idea of Olivia and I being in another country over Christmas.

“What’s wrong?”
Olivia and Nick chimed simultaneously.

“I…er… nothing,” I stuttered, shaking the uneasy feeling. I was thousands of miles away from the three men in my life in Australia. Nothing I could do to change that now, so
I may as well enjoy what was offered to me right here, right now. In the present.

I looked around the table at everyone’s expectant faces. Three people I also wanted to see happy. And I could give that to them so easily. “Yes, we’ll come. Thank you, Nick
; that would be lovely.” I smiled up at him just to be blown away by the look of sheer joy on his face. Wow, he really was easy to please.

Olivia
went on about how she’d seen scenes of the Hamptons in various movies and TV shows.

“Will it snow as much as at Emily’s house in
Revenge
? I always look at the thick snow on her porch, visible through her big windows,” Olivia asked.

“It’s just a TV set. The snow is probably fake
.” Sarah laughed.

“But it does seem so real. My
favorite movie setting is the gorgeous house in that chick flick with Jack Nicholson. I want a study just like hers in my next life,” I said.

“Ooh, that is a nice house, set
-piece or not,” Olivia chimed in, with Sarah nodding her agreement.

“I love that movie – ‘Something’s Gotta Give’. Have you seen it, Uncle Nick?”

Nick shook his head, laughing. “No, I'm allergic to chick flicks. But I do think Jack is an awesome actor. So maybe I’ll check it out some day just to see what you women are raving about. Can't be all bad if the great Jack Nicholson is in it.”

“At least you’re not as frozen as Erica
in the movie, Mom.” God, if she only knew! A part of me was equally as frozen as that character. But there was hope – after all, it worked out well for her in the movie, didn’t it? Nick was thawing the frozen parts of me in ways I hadn’t realized until now.

“It's settled then. We will leave at 8
:30 tomorrow morning. So don’t stay out too late, young ladies.” Nick waggled his eyebrows at them, which seemed to soften the blow of asking them to be home at a respectable time.

“Well then
, we better get a move on now,” Sarah said, folding her napkin as she nodded to Olivia. “Please excuse us.”

Nick held up his hand as they both pushed to their feet. “My driver, Hank, is downstairs with the car at your service tonight. He will take you wherever you want to go and bring you back home too. Have a great time out, Sarah,
Olivia.” He nodded at each of them.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening,” they chimed together. Maybe they were spending too much time in one another’s company; they were even talking at the same time like twins.
Olivia always wanted a sister. As a middle child, she didn’t like being the only girl sandwiched between two brothers.

“Alone at last,” Nick breathed as he watched them leave. He took my hand in his and lifted it to his lips. He placed a soft kiss on my fin
gertips, before turning my hand over in his and tracing his finger up my palm, along one of the lines.

“I see a long
and happy life with a tall dark handsome stranger,” he said in a husky voice. I would have laughed at his joke, except that his tone was so serious, I felt my heartbeat quicken. His touch sent shivers down my spine.

“Are you cold?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow. It was alarming how he read my body – picking up on the smallest change or signal.

I shook my head.

“Time to go
then, let’s get our coats.” He pulled me to my feet, his eyes dark and mysterious.

Oh boy! I had a feeling this was going to be a wonderful Christmas.

Nick whisked me away up Fifth Avenue, toward the Upper East Side. I loved the look of the buildings and the surrounding area. We came to a stop in an underground garage minutes later.

“I thought a nightcap at my apartment would be a lovely way to end the evening. Besides, I can't wait to spend some alone time with you. The two young ladies are delightful company, but I've wanted you all to myself for the longest time,” he said, his voice low and sexy, his eyes smoldering.

“
Oh
really?
” was all I could manage. My heart was beating madly in my chest.
His apartment – alone.

He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “Yes, really.”

Chapter
Twelve

Nick opened the car door for me
, led me into the elevator and pressed the button to the top floor. He pulled me against him, my back to his hard chest, his grip around my waist possessive. He pushed my hair aside and planted a gentle kiss in the side of my neck. I sighed.
This is heaven
.

His teeth nipped lightly at the sensitive skin on my neck as I leaned back against him.
I gasped as his lips caught my earlobe and he nibbled it gently. A thousand watts of electricity soared through my body, all joining at the spot between my legs, setting me on fire.

“Nick,” I groaned. He didn’t play fair. How was I supposed to keep my composure
around him?

The elevator doors opened
, and we stepped into the entrance hall of his apartment. The large open space filled with the fragrance of the fresh flowers on display. An enormous, beautifully decorated Christmas tree dominated the space, its many colorful lights winking at me.

“Welcome to my home
.” Nick helped me out of my coat and hung it on a hook.

“It's lovely,” I breathed as I took in the sights around me. Heavy dark wood contrasted with
rich cream fabrics, which lent a luxurious and elegant, yet homey, ambience to the space. The glass and ceramic fireplace, which was very sleek and ultra-modern, radiated warmth into the room and had me naturally gravitating toward it. I held my hands out to warm them. Divine.

Large floor to ceiling windows overlooked Central Park, a view very much coveted in the otherwise grey city
of skyscrapers. I stared through the window at the lights twinkling in the distance.

“Not nearly as lovely as you,” he said
, an appreciative glow in his eyes.
Yes! The red dress paid off.

Nick’s arms came around me again as he buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply. “You smell so good
.”

He
spun me around in his arms, dipped his head and found my lips. He brushed softly over them with his warm lips; then ran his tongue sensuously along the seam before pushing his tongue into my mouth and caressed mine with long silky strokes – slowly, sensuously, a promise of what was to come. I felt warm and safe in his embrace, his strong arms locked around me, pushing my breasts against his hard torso.

“Hmm, like nectar
.” He pulled away. “Come sit while I get us a drink.” He led me toward the oversized couch, directly facing the fireplace. I sank into the luscious cushions and sighed. This was bliss. I felt so at home here with Nick.

From
the bar tucked into the corner, Nick extracted a bottle of cabernet sauvignon, my favorite red wine. I watched lazily from under my lashes as he poured the rich burgundy liquid through an aerator into two glasses with expert economical movements.

Nick
must have sensed that I was watching him, because he looked up and gave me a dazzling smile that nearly arrested my heart. God, I still couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be here alone with him.

My mouth went dry
, and I licked my lips.
Is this really happening to me?
It felt like a dream – a really good dream. A slow throb settled at my apex, and I squeezed my legs together as I smiled back at him. He glided smoothly across the room with a glass in each hand, his eyes trained on my face. This was a slow dance of seduction, and I was so ready to sign up for it.

Hand
ing me a glass, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand as he looked down at me, devouring me with his intense gaze. I loved the way Nick touched me with such passion, yet at the same time reverently. He reached for a remote control and pressed it. Norah Jones’ sultry voice sprang to life. Another of my favorites. It was amazing that we liked so many of the same things. Nick settled onto the couch beside me, stroking my arm lazily with his fingertips.

“Tell me why – even though your
gorgeous smile melts my heart – there is always a deep sadness in your eyes. Did
he
do that to you?”
Talk about shooting straight.
“I want to really know you, Natalie. What makes you happy and what makes you sad.”

H
is fingertips were on my lips before I could say anything. “And don’t apologize or say you’re sorry.
He
is the one who should be sorry for putting it there.” His eyes flared and a small vein ticked in his neck.

I didn’t really want to talk about my nearly
ex-husband or my wounds and demons. I wanted Nick to take me in his arms and kiss me till I was breathless. But he genuinely wanted to know me better, to see the real me behind the mask.

A
verting my gaze, I sat silently for a few moments, struggling to find the right words.
How does one articulate years of pain without sounding bitter?

He took my hands in his and gently caressed
over my knuckles, waiting patiently for my answer. His eyes, framed by long thick lashes, searched mine.

Finally I found the words, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Our marriage ended a long time before we separated. At first we just fell into a comfortable silence, not talking to one another much. We each started doing our own thing, pursuing different hobbies and spending more time with friends than with one another.” My breath hitched, and I let out a deep sigh.

“
Eventually even the sex stopped. Gabriel said I wasn’t… attractive to him anymore… that he had no desire… to make love to me.” I closed my eyes, feeling the hurt squeeze my heart.

“
We slept at opposite ends of a huge king-size bed, our backs to one another. Me – mostly because he reeked of alcohol and my stomach lurched when he breathed on me. Him – because he lost all interest in me, even holding me or kissing me. We were two strangers trapped in the same house.” My voice choked at the memory. I fell quiet again, rubbing at the pain in my chest.

Nick stroked up and down my arms, not saying a word, encouraging me to continue with his silence.

Now that I had started talking, it was cleansing – cathartic even – to share the feelings I had buried so deeply with someone who really seemed to care. “Sometimes, not often though, we would go out to dinner on a birthday or anniversary. I would try desperately to make conversation – talking about anything just to get him to converse with me –
to see me
. He would answer in monosyllables, his gaze darting around the room, looking anywhere but at me. He was clearly bored and always in a hurry to leave, relieved when it was over.”

I shook my head, trying to shake the desolation buried in the far corner of my soul. “
He never held my hand as we walked, or kissed me goodbye.
It felt as if I was invisible
.” I suppressed a sob and continued purging, “Gabe made me feel unworthy. Unworthy of his time, his companionship – his love.”

M
y gut wrenched. “It was the hardest thing I ever did, walking away from my marriage. But I couldn’t settle for that life any longer.”