Operation Family (7 page)

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It wasn’t you.” She opened her eyes to look at him, only to see the same pain she felt. She wondered why he was upset; he barely knew Shawn. “I can’t think of Shawn without regret and deep loss.”

“Regret? Shawn died in a car accident. What is there to regret?”

“My grandmother…” Her voice cracked before she could gain control of her emotions. “I spent so much time with her, especially after the problems with my dad. Almost two years ago, she passed away without a will. Because of the medical bills, her cottage was claimed by the collectors and was being sold. On the day he died, Shawn was out because of the auction. He was going to purchase it. If I hadn’t told him I wanted that damn cottage, he’d have been home with the girls like he should have been.”

“That’s not your fault.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “We can talk about the
ifs
all day long, but it doesn’t change things. I learned long ago that when it’s our time, nothing can stop death.”

“You’ve seen the worst, haven’t you? Men dying.”

He winced at her comment and sadness filled his forest green eyes as his look became distant. “More than I care to remember.”

Wanting to ease the pain she saw in his eyes, she wrapped her arms around him. He was such a strong man, one who believed in fighting for their country, even after all the death and injuries he’d seen. He’d fight through the worst to keep America safe, and she admired that. She only prayed he wouldn’t become another casualty, not while she and the girls needed him.

Standing there with her arms around his waist, his cologne drifting past her nose, she could feel herself drawn to him and needed to know if there was someone else before she let things got too far. She hadn’t felt a connection to anyone like this since her college boyfriend, who ended up taking a job in California and leaving her behind to start her accounting business. But she needed something with more freedom, with children. That’s when she saw Shawn’s ad and she never looked back. Everything happened for a reason, but if Mac had someone in his life, she needed to stop this before it could go any further.

“May I ask something personal?”

“Go ahead.” There was a slight hesitation in his voice.

“I don’t see a wedding ring on your finger, but is there someone in your life? A fiancée? Girlfriend? Anyone I should worry about who might have issues with this?”

“With this?” Smirking, he raised an eyebrow at her.

“I meant the arrangement of us raising the girls together. If there’s someone else—” She wasn’t sure where she was going with that, but thankfully he cut her off before she could finish.

“There’s no woman in my life, just my career, and the house. If I’m not on duty, I’m working on the house. It’s an old French colonial, with over six acres. When I purchased it three years ago it was pretty run-down, so I’ve been restoring it.” He slipped his hand up from the small of her back. “Why do you ask, beautiful, are you interested?”

“I…” She stammered, hating she was that obvious, before she pulled herself together. “I was asking for the girls’ sake. They’re going to have a hard enough time adjusting, so the less interruptions they have the better. Adding new people right now isn’t going to make things easier.”

“Whatever you say.” He smirked, almost as if he didn’t believe her.

Nice one, Nicole.
She’d just met him and she was already coming across as some cheap slut. The fact that he was drop-dead sexy wasn’t enough for a relationship, and she didn’t know anything about him. All the time they’d spent together had been because of the twins, anything they talked about was regarding them. Hell, she had threatened to take him to court for custody; that wasn’t the best way to start any kind of relationship, let alone a romantic one.

She wasn’t sure getting involved with him was a good thing; it risked too much when it came to the twins. If things went badly, it was the children who would suffer the most. Her fantasies could go on, but in real life she needed to focus on providing for Gabriella and Sophia, not on the gorgeous SEAL in front of her.

Mac was adjusting to fatherhood with an ease he hadn’t expected, despite the fact the twins never slept through the night. He was developing a bond with them that he hadn’t thought possible with a child that wasn’t his own. It brought a whole new understanding to what Nicole went through; he could resonate with her fears that they’d be taken away from her. She was a wonderful mother to them, and he couldn’t have asked for someone better to be on this path to parenthood with him.

Though the twins took up most of their time, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. Every thought seemed to center around her, his gaze following her wherever she went. For the first time, possibly ever, he wanted to get to know a woman—Nicole. It wasn’t just about getting her into bed, even though he did want her badly. He needed
more
with her. If it was just about sex, he could have gotten that from anyone else. Nicole would need more, too. She wasn’t a woman who would take anything less than a commitment.

Stay away from her; you don’t need that. You’re a SEAL, you can’t give a commitment.
With the internal warning bells going off, he couldn’t stop himself from gazing down the path that would lead them together. The way she inquired if there was someone waiting in Virginia for him was enough of an indication that she was interested in him. All he had to do was make his move.

Shawn had always had a sixth sense about things, even his own death. Could he have believed that bringing them together would give Gabriella and Sophia a real family again? Still, he doubted that he could give Nicole what she deserved. She warranted only the best, someone who didn’t have baggage and scars. He had already seen how she reacted to the scars on his chest; if she saw his back, it would only be worse. He couldn’t stand the sorrow in her sparkling blue eyes.

“Mr. Batty is here,” Nicole whispered from the doorway.

“I’ll be right out.” He took one last look at the sleeping girls before leaving the nursery. For the sake of the twins, he’d find a way to balance things with Nicole. They didn’t need the additional tension if things didn’t work out.

There’s plenty of other women…but not like her.
He knew without a doubt she was one of a kind. Images of the sashay of her hips filled his head and hardened his shaft. She was beautiful, so full of life and love. In just a few short days, she’d gotten under his skin, so much that he couldn’t think straight. He needed to pull himself together. At any moment, duty could call, and a distraction could get him killed. His men depended on him having his head on straight, not distracted by a woman, especially not one he was denying himself of.

He stepped into the living room and wondered why he was denying himself her physical company. The excuses he gave himself were just that. If he wanted her bad enough, they’d find a way to make it work.

“Lieutenant Commander García, it is nice to finally meet you.” Mr. Batty stood and held out his hand as Mac came around the sofa.

“Please call me Mac.” He took the lawyer’s hand, returning the firm handshake.

“Nicole has been filling me in on your plans to return to Virginia together. I think a trial run before the paperwork is drawn up would be the best way to test out joint custody. It will also give her a chance to check out Virginia and your lifestyle.”

“Raising the girls together seems like the perfect way for us.
She loves them, and they need that.” Mac sat down on the sofa and laid his hand over Nicole’s. “Going to Virginia for the holidays will give her a good insight to military life. The Christmas parties will allow her to meet my men and their wives, as well as other military families, without pressure. As you said, it’s a good introduction into the life.”

“Very well. Then if you’ll keep me updated, I can draw up the paperwork when you’re ready. After the New Year, we can also finalize the house, Shawn’s business transactions, and other documents. Merry Christmas.” Mr. Batty rose from the chair he had been sitting in and grabbed his briefcase. “I’m very sorry for your loss, for both of you. Shawn was a good man. He had an excellent business mind and has made sure the children will have a secure future.”

“Thank you.” When Mac first pulled up to the house, he wondered what Shawn had done to afford an estate like this. Careers were one thing they’d never discussed; it just never came up, and Mac had never wanted to share the details of his own life. “I’ll see you out.” He rose from the sofa and led the way to the door.

“I appreciate you coming to us.” Nicole called after the lawyer before he could get out of hearing range. “I’d have called you and saved you the trip, but with the girls’ allergic reaction, I forgot about it.”

“There’s no problem, Nicole. I’m happy the two of you have worked something out. If you need anything, you have my number.”
Mr. Batty stopped by the living room entry.

“Thank you. I believe it’s all going to work out. We’ll be in touch. Enjoy the holidays and try not to work too hard.”

Mac listened to Nicole and Mr. Batty’s exchange, but only one comment actually mattered. She was optimistic. Knowing she was on board and looking forward to what the future held gave him hope. It was going to be a bumpy road for both of them, maybe more for her than him, because when he was back on duty, caring for the children would fall on her.

The lawyer paused before he left, glancing toward the living room. “I received notification this morning that a cottage was purchased by Shawn the day he died. He has already given the owner a check, but with the circumstances, I might be able to get you out of it if you’d prefer. Or I can arrange to put it back on the market.” He kept his voice low and Mac wondered if he knew the importance of the cottage to Nicole.

“No.” He glanced back toward the living room. “Do what needs to be done, I want it to go into Nicole’s name. It’s hers.”

“Okay. I’ll be in touch.” Mr. Batty stepped outside and tugged his coat closer. Even in Texas, the cold winter air beat against them. “Take good care of Nicole and the girls, they mean a lot to everyone in this town.”

“I will. Small towns are hard to find anymore, but don’t worry…we’ll be back. I have no plans to sell the house, so if you know of anyone who’d be willing to keep it maintained while I’m in Virginia, please let me know.”

Mr. Batty nodded before turning to go back to his car. Mac stood there a moment longer, letting the cold seep into his body and chase away his burning desire for Nicole that never seemed to dissipate.

“Wow, the wind makes it colder.” He hadn’t heard Nicole come up behind him until she spoke.

“What did Shawn do for a living?” He turned to her, wondering how his nephew had afforded the house, cottage, and a comfortable nest egg for the girls.

“Shawn was an investor.” The mention of Shawn’s name brought a distant look to her eyes. “He put money into start-up companies, and if they paid off he made out well. If they didn’t, they still had to pay back the money that was used. He was a genius when it came to business. His investments will transfer to you, to continue to provide financial support for the twins. The last few months I’ve straightened out his bookkeeping, so you shouldn’t have to worry about providing for the girls, even if they want to get doctoral degrees at Ivy League universities.”

“I’m not concerned about money to raise the girls. Whatever is there will be saved for them—for their colleges, their futures.” He slipped his hand in hers. “Come sit, I want to ask you something.”

“Something worse than picking up and moving across country?” She teased, but came away from the door with him.

He couldn’t think of anything lighthearted enough to say, so he remained quiet until they made it to the sofa. What he had to know might be worse for her depending on the answer. It might bring up hard feelings or worse yet, the ghost of his nephew. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about the possibility that there could have been more between Nicole and Shawn than friendship and a working relationship. If she had feelings for his nephew, would that change what was starting to develop between them?

“Mac, you’ve turned serious, what’s going on?”

“You asked me before if there was a woman waiting for me back in Virginia.” He paused as they sank down onto the sofa. “When you talk about Shawn, there’s a longing in your eyes—”

“Where is this going?” She interrupted him before he could get his thought out.

“I need to know if there was anything between the two of you.”

“I can’t believe you.” She pulled her hand out of his grasp and leaned back against the sofa. “You think I was screwing Shawn?”

“Nicole.” He reached out to take hold of her hand again but she pulled farther away. “When you speak of Shawn there seemed to be a deep longing, more than I expected there to be between you two. I just need to know where things stood between you, how deep the feelings go.”

“Why?”

How the hell am I supposed to answer that?
He could have sworn she could see what’s happening between them. Was it just on his part, or did she feel something toward him too? It had been too long since he had any sort of attraction toward a woman, so maybe he was off his game. All these years he kept his emotions out of the picture when it came to women, keeping his commitments to only the night or a few days while he was on leave. She was throwing him off balance.

“Answer me,” she demanded, cutting through his thoughts.

“I need to know…because if you loved him, that could change whatever is happening between us.”

“I did love him, but not in the way you’re thinking. Shawn became my best friend, another brother. The girls were preemie because of their mother’s unfortunate accident. We spent many hours sitting in the nursery, just holding the girls, giving them the comfort they needed. It gave us time to talk, to really get to know each other.” She wiped the tears away that had begun to fall. “What you see is sadness, longing, and grief. I’m questioning fate, and everything that people believe in, because I don’t understand how two helpless infants could be brought into a loving family, a family who had been trying so long to have children, only to have it all snatched away from them before their first birthday. I’m not sure that’s the world I want to see more life brought into. If the girls have already handled this much heartache, what is the rest of their life going to be like?”

“I’ve been in a similar position where I’ve questioned the reason things happened. It leaves you with an emptiness in the pit of your stomach. It’s not a place I’d like to be again.” He had been to the point of wondering if it was all worth it, not long ago.

“Why?” She leaned closer to him, almost as if she was going to touch him. “What brought you to that place and how did you get past it? Right now it feels like the world will never be the same.”

“It will until you force yourself to look at the positives. Shawn is gone, but if you believe he’s still watching over the girls, then he’s not that far away. As for what brought me out of the depression, it was my men. They depend on me to have my head in the action, and if I can’t I’m going to get them killed.”
More of them killed,
he silently corrected.

“You didn’t answer my entire question.”

“I know.” He stood from the sofa and put distance between them. “That’s a story for another time.” Or
never
if he had his way. He didn’t need her to hear that he’d failed his men. That two of them were dead and another had lost his leg on a mission. He didn’t want to see the same look of disappointment in her eyes he saw in everyone else’s, or the grief he had witnessed with the widows.