Option to Kill (Nathan McBride 3) (46 page)

“What did she have to do?”

“Two things. First, she had to tell the US everything she knew about all the espionage missions she’d ever conducted — her method of training, locations of camps, her contacts. Everything. And second, at some undisclosed point in the future, she’d have to perform one final mission for the US. She didn’t want to agree with the second part, but she was going to have a baby soon —
you
. She didn’t have a lot of options. She was faced with being a single mother in a foreign country right next door to North Korea. She’d never feel safe there, especially given her unique-looking eyes. They were hard to miss.”

“So she said yes?”

“That’s right. To give you a better life, she struck a deal and the US set her up with a new identity and brought her over. I think she chose La Jolla because I lived there. Remember, she knew who my father was but never told anyone. I don’t know how she learned about the echo five reference, but someday I’ll need to find out.”

“What does ‘echo five’ mean?”

“It’s something from my past, and it’s top secret. Very few people in the world know about it. But back to your mom. Think about it, Lauren. What would it be like living that way? Knowing that out of the blue, you’ll get a phone call from the US government someday and have to drop everything and go on a potentially dangerous mission….”

“It sounds awful.”

“I’m sure it was, but she did it for you. Remember the part in her note about running, about how she said she didn’t want to run, how she didn’t want that life for you? She wanted you to have a good life, and if she ran from her obligation, it would mean running for the rest of her life. She didn’t want that. You told me she used to cry all the time. It was from being under pressure. Her unpaid debt took a heavy toll on her over the years. The important thing for you to know in your heart is that your mom loves you. Everything she did was for you.”

Lauren was quiet for a while, and Nathan let her absorb what she’d just heard. He knew this wasn’t easy on her, but she deserved the truth, deserved to know what kind of woman her mom was.

Nathan took another sip of water. “Lauren, there’s something else you need to know. When I first met your mom, in the ghost town, I asked her if she knew Voda was murdering the girls. I guess I needed to know that for myself. She said no, and I believed her. I still do. The triggering event was when you fell down in your stepdad’s warehouse and saw the dead girl. Everything changed after that. You told your mom, she told your stepdad, and things spiraled out of control from there. But none of this is your fault. You did the right thing telling your mom.”

“I wish I never saw the dead girl.”

“I understand why you feel that way, but here’s the good thing: we burned Voda’s operation to the ground. If you hadn’t seen the dead girl, more girls would’ve been murdered, and Abrille would have been one of them.”

“Were all the girls Voda used killed?”

“I’m not sure,” Nathan said. “I had a talk with Holly, and the FBI’s working with French authorities to piece together the fate of the other girls, the girls we saw on the passports. Holly thinks most of them were flown into France. She’s trying to track them down. She thinks Voda killed at least six of the girls. He probably had a local buyer for the gems. But it’s important for you to know that both your mom and your stepdad
didn’t
know what Voda was doing. I think they knew he was smuggling alexandrites, but they didn’t know how he was doing it. And they certainly didn’t know he was using the girls as human couriers until you fell down in the warehouse. It’s amazing where one little fall can lead.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure.”

“You asked me if I believe in evil….Well, the answer is yes. But the reverse is also true. I believe there are good forces working against evil. We aren’t meant to understand such things, but when you saw the dead girl, a complex chain of events was set into motion.”

“It’s that causality thing again, right?”

He smiled. “Right. You helped save the lives of countless other girls. You should be proud of that. Don’t ever second-guess yourself about it.”

“I won’t.”

Ironically, second-guessing was exactly what Nathan had been doing to himself. About Voda. He would have preferred not to talk about it, but that was a form of denial, and he’d long ago learned to face certain truths about himself head-on. And if he were going to have an ongoing, familial relationship with Lauren, he needed to be forthright with her as well, especially about something as important as this.

“I’m going to tell you something personal, okay?”

Lauren nodded, eyes wide.

“I killed a lot of people yesterday, and unfortunately, you saw some of them die. I’m not proud of what I did, and I certainly don’t feel good about it.”

She nodded, then said, “But they were trying to kill us first.”

“I wish that made it easier, but it doesn’t. But here’s the point.” Nathan spoke softly. “I didn’t have to kill Voda. After I bashed his head on the concrete a few times, he was out of the fight.”

“You wanted to kill him.”

Nathan locked eyes with her. “Yes, I did, and it’s a powerful feeling I never want you to experience. It can be dangerous, Lauren, like an addictive drug.”

“I wish you didn’t feel bad about it.”

“If I didn’t feel bad, I’d be no better than Voda.”

Lauren went quiet again, then nodded slightly. Nathan knew she understood.

“Okay,” Nathan said, lightening his tone. “Enough of that. Is Harv still out in the waiting room?”

“Do you want me to go get him?”

“Please.”

Lauren left the room, and Nathan stared at the ceiling again. Half a minute later, Lauren returned, holding Harv’s hand.

“How are you feeling, partner?”

“I’m okay. A little sore here and there, but I’ll manage.”

“Harv said he’s taking me out to lunch,” Lauren said.

“A date? And you didn’t invite me? I hope you’ll at least bring me something. The food in here is good, but I’m jonesing for a Caesar salad with extra dressing.”

Lauren wrinkled her brow. “Jonesing?”

“Craving,” Harv answered. “I think that could be arranged.”

“Harv, help me into the wheelchair. I want to visit Jin.”

“Do you think that’s wise?”

“Yes, I do.”

“All right.”

Getting out of bed didn’t hurt as badly as he had thought it would. His hand throbbed, but that was to be expected. His broken leg held a dull ache, but it felt tolerable. As Harv had told him on many occasions, he’d been through worse.

When Lauren turned to open the door, Harv handed him something and he nodded a thank-you.

Jin’s room was several doors down. Nathan immediately saw the two men sitting in chairs. CIA or FBI or both. He nodded and they nodded back.

Lauren held the door open while Harv pushed him inside. Lauren followed them in. Jin’s room was identical to his, but Lauren was right: it didn’t look as cheerful. It needed more color. As with Nathan, Jin had her arm secured in a sling. A thick bandage covered her shoulder. The back of her bed was about halfway up. On the opposite wall near the ceiling, her muted TV was tuned to a news channel. She turned her head when they entered. Her swelling and bruising still looked bad, but the cuts had been cleaned.

Her expression remained guarded.

“Hi, Jin. I know all of this is difficult for you, but I want you to know you’re not alone. You have a family that loves you, and we’re going to help you get through this.”

“I…”

“You don’t have to say anything. My name is Nathan McBride, and I’m your brother. And this little girl is your daughter. The man behind the wheelchair is like a brother to me, so he’s your family too. His name is Harvey Fontana, but we call him Harv. Your father’s a US senator.”

She didn’t say anything.

Harv rolled Nathan up to Jin’s bed. Lauren approached too, but didn’t say anything.

“I want you to look at our eyes.”

Jin did, and a smile formed.

“That’s right, they’re nearly identical. I don’t want you to worry about anything. I’m going to take care of Lauren until you’re back on your feet. She’ll be safe with me. Harv will help too, won’t you?”

“Indeed I will.”

“I want to give you something. Maybe it will help trigger some memories.” He gently placed his father’s dog tag on the bed.

Jin looked at it, then picked it up. She turned it over in her fingers, looking it over closely.

“That was our father’s when he was stationed overseas. You gave it to me two days ago. The drop of blood on the back is yours.”

“I gave this to you?”

“As proof of who you are.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Head injuries can cause loss of memory, but they’re usually short-term. I’ve seen it before. Now, this big girl here needs her mom, more than she ever has. I’m certain by the time you’re up and about, you’ll be remembering some bits and pieces. You may not remember everything, but you have very strong memories of Lauren, and I’m willing to bet they’ll begin to surface within the next few days or so. Like I said, I’ve see this before.”

“I’ll try,” Jin said.

“For now, you need to rest. You’ve got a difficult and painful surgery ahead of you. You need a new shoulder joint.”

“Lauren said I was shot?”

Lauren took a step forward at hearing her name.

“Yes, the three of us were in a life-and-death struggle. I don’t know how much Lauren told you about it, but you saved our lives. You bought time by taking a bullet for us.”

Harv nudged his leg.

Jin kept turning the dog tag in her fingers.

“Harv is taking Lauren to lunch and bringing me back a Caesar salad. Is there something he can get for you?”

Jin looked up at them. “I like…macaroni and cheese.”

Lauren glanced at Nathan quickly with hope in her eyes.

“All right, mac and cheese it is.”

Lauren leaned over and gave her mom a kiss.

“We’ll see you in a little bit.”

Harv wheeled Nathan toward the door, and Lauren held it open again. When Lauren’s back was turned, Nathan looked back at Jin.

What he saw brought a smile.

Jin mouthed the words “thank you.”

Nathan winked and was gone.

Out in the hall, Lauren seemed energized. “Mac and cheese is her favorite food!”

“Given your reaction in there, I gathered that.”

“Nathan,” Harv said, “you
do
realize you left a two-million-dollar piece of hardware sitting out in the desert?”

“I trust you dealt with that while I was indisposed?”

“You trust correctly. I found the key. Try not to do it again.”

“I’ll remember that…the next time I’m faced with a similar situation.”

Lauren asked, “Do you really think my mom’s going to get her memory back?”

Harv stopped pushing his chair and turned it to face Lauren. He looked up at Harv, and they exchanged a silent understanding. Harv knew the score.

“Yes, absolutely.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise. Marines keep their promises.”

Avoiding his injured hand, she leaned over and hugged him.

“Can I call you Uncle Nate now?”

He took a deep breath and looked at Harv, who had his arms crossed.

“Lauren, I think you’ve earned it.”

Acknowledgments

There are many people I wish to acknowledge and thank. Writing a novel is a solitary endeavor, but it stops there. After it’s written, the process transforms into a collaboration and the people who contribute their effort and expertise are equally important. I have a lot of faults, but a lack of loyalty isn’t one of them. I’m deeply devoted to those who’ve helped and supported me over the years.