Oracle Seeing (The Phoenix Files Book 2) (25 page)

“He told me to watch over you, Lucian. I didn’t have to sit there all night for four days. I didn’t have to be there. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be with you. I always have.”

He turned to face her. “WHY?”

“I watched you in court, and for some reason, apparently, I like being kicked around. I was drawn to you. There was this lure, and I wanted to watch over you. There are things you have to do in life, and then there are things you want to do. You were never a
‘have to’
, but a
‘want to’
.”

He watched her.

He was good with lies.

People wielded them like weapons, but Bishop was being honest. He could see it in her eyes.

“I fell in love with you. Not the man you were, but the man you’d become. Before you found out what Wendy said, you were yourself. You weren’t pretentious, arrogant, or a dick. You were Lucian Monroe, and I was finally on your level.”

He listened to her. The reason she saw the real him was because he wanted her. When he woke up, it was like being reborn. Lucian knew that she was the one.

Then he knew it couldn’t happen.

Bishop, in all her sweetness, deserved better. He wasn’t able to give her anything. He was broken, damaged, and destroyed.

“I was out of your league. Look at the…” She’d nearly called Wendy a trash bag. Instead, she tried to be nice. It wasn’t easy. “Look at the woman you were with. I’m a cop. I’m betting you never even noticed me in the courtroom.”

He said nothing.

He couldn’t.

Lucian was too surprised to hear any of this. Had he noticed her?

Yes, yes he had.

“I was young, I was wearing a hideous brown uniform, and I wasn’t worthy of your time.”

Had she really seen him like that?

Was he that cold?

Cruel?

It wasn’t the real him. He wasn’t like that, and he wished he could prove it.

“I tried to talk to you one day, and Wendy shoved herself between us. You had a lunch with the governor. You were being courted for something bigger than I’d ever be. So, instead of trying, I simply admired you from afar.”

“Some might call that stalking,” he offered, trying to laugh.

“That’s priceless since one of us has B & E on our resume, and it’s not me.”

They both stared at each other.

“I didn’t know,” he offered.

Jesus!

Had he? He would have chased her down, married her, and then…

Again, he had to put those kinds of thoughts out of his head. It was too late.

“You weren’t supposed to know. When you were hurt, I wanted to help you. You fought to put killers away. You were a good man. I could see it. Staying by your side was my way of giving you what you’d given the victims.”

“So you pitied me.”

“No. Never. I was paying you back for using your gift to save people. I don’t pity you, Lucian. I think you’re a dick for the way you treated me. I think you’re a douchebag for the way you treated yourself. I don’t pity you in the least. I think someone should kick the shit out of you for wasting ten years of a perfectly good life.”

He ran his fingers over his face.

She saw it in his eyes.

“Want more truth or have you had enough?”

He wasn’t sure his heart could take it. His whole life was upside down. Bishop had wanted him all those years ago. When he’d planned to find her, talking to her, she’d already wanted to be with him.

Their lives…they could have been different.

Bishop hopped down and held out her hand. Then she waited for him to move. At first, she didn’t think he’d do it.

“Where are we going?” he asked, taking her hand.

“I want to show you something.”

She led him upstairs and toward her bedroom.

His heart began pounding in his chest. When he saw where she was taking him, he wanted to panic and celebrate at the same time. It was going to be a matter of what emotion won that battle.

There, sitting in the room, was a vanity with a mirror.

“Have a seat.”

“I can’t.”

“Sit, Lucian. You owe me this. You wanted the truth, so you’ll get it. You’ve called the shots for ten years. You’ve held my heart captive, frozen in this block of ice. I deserve a chance to tell you what lives in me. If I make you mad, I’ll let you walk. I won’t bother you again.”

He didn’t want that.

This was the only place he felt calm. With Bishop, he didn’t feel like a monster.

She calmed his demons.

She calmed him.

When he was with her the static was manageable, much like with Oracle.

The idea that she’d walk away again scared him. He was more than willing to give her a shot.

He sat and was forced to stare into the mirror.

Bishop placed her chin on his shoulder until they were both staring at the same thing.

“What do you see, Lucian?”

He didn’t have to think about it.

“I see a beautiful woman and a monstrous beast. Before, where you thought I was out of your league, Bishop, I know the truth. I will never be in yours.”

That hurt her heart.

Those words were so untrue.

“I don’t see that, Lucian.”

“What do you see?”

He was curious.

“I see an incredibly handsome man.”

He tried to move away.

She wouldn’t let him. Her arms were around his shoulder as she spoke softly into his ear. “What you don’t know is that when you were in the coma, I brushed this hair. I gently fixed you so when you woke, you’d be orderly.”

He listened as her fingers ran through his hair. He couldn’t remember, other than with her, the last time he’d had human contact.

It was amazing.

“It felt like silk then and it still does.”

Lucian didn’t move as her fingers moved down the good side of his face and across his jaw. He was memorizing her touch, so he would never forget it.

“What you also didn’t know, Lucian, was that when your five o’clock shadow grew in, I shaved you. I didn’t want you to wake up and feel out of sorts.”

He appreciated that.

“You’re always neat, well dressed, and you’d want to feel that. I needed to give you that.”

He felt his heart skip.

“When my fingers moved over your skin, I didn’t see the bandages, the scar, or what could have happened. I was thinking about how your skin felt amazing beneath my fingers. I never thought I’d get to do that, and I was able to finally touch you.”

He didn’t know what to say. Her words were so honest, candid, and frankly…shocking.

How could she want him?

He didn’t want himself.

Gently, her fingers moved across the scar on his cheek. They didn’t rush, they didn’t offer anything but calm. While he wanted to bolt, he wanted to hear what she was thinking.

Her green eyes were windows into her soul.

He was curious.

“I didn’t see this scar that day. What I saw was that dimple in your cheek. When you’d smile in court, it made my heart skip. Tonight, while you were reading, you smiled again. It stole my breath.”

He didn’t know what to say.

“I would watch you smirk when you knew you were going to win. You were a ferocious lawyer. You would set up your prey, and then you would go in for the kill. That dimple, this one, was the only clue that you were taking them down.”

She had studied him.

Why hadn’t he noticed?

Her fingers touched his lips, and it forced his focus back on her.

“You see this scar as the end, Lucian. I see it as the beginning. Before that day, you wouldn’t have ever even looked twice at me—the lowly civil servant. So, you ask me why I stayed. Here’s the truth. I wasn’t worth the man you were, but I had a chance to prove that I could make you happy. That scar gave me a shot. It gave me a chance to be seen.”

He stared at her.

God!

She didn’t see what he saw. The day he first saw her, he’d wanted her too. It grew in him. That day, he was leaving to find her. He had to find the woman who changed everything.

It was always her.

He just didn’t know if he could get the truth to come out. It was cement in his chest. It was that weight that weighed him down in the mire of his own pity and self-loathing.

“You needed to hate someone, and I was willing to be your target.”

“Why, Bishop?”

“Because you have more to offer now than you ever did. Before, you wanted power and to rule the world. You didn’t see that people wanted you for what you could do. Wendy wanted you for the prestige, the city wanted you to lock the criminals away. I never wanted your fame or your fortune. I wanted your heart.”

His kicked.

“Bishop.”

She turned his face toward hers. Gently, she ran her lips down the scar. Then she set him free.

“Now you know. If you want to join me for dinner, I’ll be happy to share a meal and my home with you. If you want to run, I’ll watch your back and keep you safe. You owe me nothing, Lucian, but you owe yourself a chance. The choice is yours.”

With that, she walked away.

He watched her leave her bedroom, head down the stairs, and to her kitchen. He could hear dishes, the salad bowl, and her walking around.

It hurt that he’d never noticed her watching him. It created this void that he’d made her feel like she wasn’t worthy of him. Bishop was a dream. She was the one thing that offered him peace, and he had to make this right.

Somehow, he had to fix the damage.

Lucian stared into the mirror at the scar. It still staggered him that his face really didn’t bother her. To him, that was astounding.

This felt like a defining moment.

He could run and hide or he could go downstairs, have some dinner, and try to pick up the pieces of his life.

Lucian made the choice, and now he’d have to live with it.

No matter what.

Second chances were rare.

No one knew that better than him.

Chapter Eleven

When they’d arrived back at Lucian’s home, the place was lit up. They’d yet to find Jagger, but he was a big boy. If he was out, getting into trouble, he would find a way out.

They had other issues.

There were files to go through, and they had hours of work ahead of them.

When they parked the car, they knocked on the door.

Nate was surprised when Avalon was the one who opened it.

“Where’s Lucian?” he asked.

“He’s off with the sheriff.”

He headed in. “Really?”

She smiled in triumph. “Yes, really. I don’t think he’s coming home, either.”

Maura came up behind her. “He gave her coffee. So be ready for questions. She’s been making me crazy the entire afternoon.”

“She’s right here,” Avalon stated, making Maura laugh. “I’m caffeinated—not deaf.”

“Oh, I’m well aware of your state.”

Nate passed off the box to Maura, and then tugged Avalon into his arms. “Did you miss me?”

“Did you bring me dinner?” she asked.

“Are you using me for food?” he teased, bringing her mouth to his.

He slowly sank into the warmth of the kiss. It was like coming home after a long day. Avalon completed him. The stress of the day washed away.

When he broke away, she nuzzled his cheek.

He wanted to die with her in his arms. This was the best part of his life. His fiancée was growing him a baby.

That was crazy!

“Yeah, I am using you for food. It seems that if I eat, I don’t puke. If I don’t eat, I get really sick. That seems backwards, and I don’t get it.”

He grinned. “You’re growing a kid. You have to eat. Try not to overthink it—just eat.”

“Speaking of cookies, do you have any?”

Nate loved her so damn much. There was an innocence about her, but there was a depth he loved too.

“Uh, I don’t think we were talking about cookies.”

“I really need cookies. I don’t know why, but I feel like if I don’t have them, bad things will happen.”

He started laughing. “It’s a pregnancy thing.”

“So can I have cookies?”

Avalon could have whatever she wanted.

“I’ll call Jagger and get him to bring you some if you really feel like you need cookies.”

“I need them.”

He pulled out his phone.

“Wait.”

He looked at her.

“He’s not okay.”

That alarmed everyone, especially Maura. He was her Marine, and the only other person she really trusted Avalon’s safety to on a mission.

“What?” they all said together.

“He’s upset. What happened?” she asked.

“Yeah, what the hell, guys? How do you take Jagger out and break him?” Maura teased. If the man was just moody, that was something that would pass.

Male PMS always did.

“We didn’t do anything,” Luke said. “He hooked up with a woman.”

“Oh, the doctor,” Avalon stated.

They all stared over at her.

“What? I’m Oracle. You think I didn’t see this one coming?” she asked.

“See what coming?” Maura inquired.

“He’s finally met his match.”

No one knew what to say.

Finally, Luke broke the silence. “The coroner? Are we talking about the same woman? She looked like a teacher. I can’t see her being a match for Jagger. He’s a womanizer.”

They headed into the living room.

Once at the couch, Avalon tucked her legs beneath her as Nate pulled a granola bar from his messenger bag. When he placed it in her hand, she gratefully ate it.

“She’s been damaged like Jagger.”

No one knew what to say. Jagger kept to himself, and he didn’t talk about his past. Honestly, they weren’t sure what the man had experienced that would damage him.

He was pretty hardcore.

It had to be big.

“We’re going to have issues.”

“Is this Oracle or Avalon speaking,” Maura asked. “I need to be ready in case he flakes.”

“It’s Oracle, but he won’t flake, Maura. He’s going to hurt, and then he’s going to need his family. His heart is going to be broken over this.”

Jagger?

Were they talking about the same man?

The Marine?

Sarcastic Jagger?

Before Maura could say anything, Avalon clarified, “He’s going to need
US
. Jagger met the woman he’s supposed to be with, but she’s not going to be easy, much like him. They are a matched set, so everyone has to try to help him.”

Well, shit.

This was the last thing they needed. All three of them stared at each other.

“Hey, we owe him. Jagger has always had our backs,” Avalon stated. “He came on as part of this when he could have stayed in the Marines. He saved me, and we’re going to save him.”

That wasn’t the issue.

“Baby, he isn’t going to be easy to save. He punched our car and dented it. He’s not happy. You can’t just ask him what’s up. He’s never going to talk about it.”

“So? When you go cranky, who tries to make you laugh?” she asked.

He knew who.

Jagger would torment him just enough to stir him up and get him to refocus.

“When you and Maura went on your honeymoon, who stepped up and pulled triple duty to make sure I was safe?”

Maura knew. “Jagger.”

“He’s part of our family. He’s like all of our brother, and he’s always been my friend. I love him, and we’re going to help him. Remember when I said Oracle called the shots?”

“Yeah?”

“This is one of those non-negotiable times. We’re helping our family.”

“How?”

“Let me work on it. When I tell you I’m ready to intercede, I need you to listen. Please?”

They all agreed.

“Anything else, boss?” Nate asked.

“Yeah, I want cookies. I really would like chocolate ones to dip in a vat of frosting and then dip in tea.”

Maura shook her head. The last thing she wanted was Avalon hopped up on sugar.

“Sugar is bad for a baby.”

Avalon’s brow scrunched up. “You’re lying, but in case you’re not, no frosting, but I still want cookies.”

“I’ll go,” Luke said, more than happy to pass off the paperwork.

“I’ll go with you,” Nate offered. “That chocolate chip granola bar should be kicking in any second.”

“What?” Maura stated. “Really?”

The men grinned as they headed out of the room to go back out and pick up dinner. Avalon would have her cookies, but after she had dinner.

As they were walking out, they heard Avalon.

“Maura, tell me about anal sex. Do you like it?”

“Oh, Jesus! Stop feeding her sugar!”

The men laughed all the way out the door. Sometimes, Oracle needed a woman’s touch, and this was definitely one of those times.

       
                
* * *
  O R A C L E   * * *

He made notes of the man’s movements.

If he was going to end his life, he needed to study where he liked to spend his time, hide out, and where rested his head at night.

It was important.

There was very little room for error.

He’d been watching the news all day, listening to see what was happening in Ravenswood.

The sheriff was busily trying to head this one off at the pass, and he wasn’t worried.

She wouldn’t stop him.

No one could.

As far as he was concerned, this was all about making sure justice was served in that town.

Justice that had been long ignored.

He would make sure the truth came to light, and he would end the reign of tyranny that the law had in town.

He would fix it.

He would kill them all.

It was the only way.

With each death, with each spilled drop of blood, he could see the end coming. Once there, he could have peace.

That’s all he wanted.

He wanted his revenge for the past, and he wanted to be able to rest.

In the silence.

For the rest of eternity.

Until then, more blood would flow.

But before that could happen, he had to handle one little thing. It was time to distract the sheriff.

And he knew exactly how to do it.

       
                
* * *
  O R A C L E   * * *

The night had been pretty amazing.

After she’d come down from her room, leaving Lucian there to think, Bishop really believed he’d bolt. Instead, he joined her in the kitchen and made himself comfortable. He’d taken off the hoodie, and it appeared that he was trying to meet her half way.

It was all she could ask from him.

He needed time, and she’d buy him as much as she could. It was the least she could do. After all, she’d promised to protect him.

When she suggested dinner and a movie, he looked surprised. Apparently, Wendy hadn’t liked low-key nights at home—which was a shame—because they were the best kind.

Or at least she was going to prove it to him.

So, they dished up ooey-gooey lasagna, crisp salad, and glasses of red wine before heading to her couch. They sat, ate dinner, and talked.

None of it had anything to do with the past, but instead something they could both find comfortable to discuss.

Not the law.

Books.

Lucian laughed a few times, especially when Bishop had told him that she couldn’t watch a movie unless she read the book first.

He was the same way.

When they discussed the recent books they’d devoured, they had one in common.

Bishop knew the best icebreaker would be to watch the movie. She didn’t want to add any extra pressure to Lucian’s life. Instead, she kept it easy.

She’d made popcorn, poured more wine, and ordered the movie on pay-per-view. Once it began, they had settled in to enjoy one of their favorite past times.

Two hours passed, and when she glanced over, Lucian was out cold. He’d fallen into deep sleep at some point, and Bishop couldn’t help but stare.

His lips were slightly parted and his good eye was closed, framing his face with really dark eyelashes.

She wanted to kiss him.

Yeah, despite it all, she was crazy about him. The heart wanted what it wanted, and she always went with her gut. He was the way she had to go.

To avoid it would just prolong the anguish.

She loved him.

As she turned off the movie, put away the dishes, and cleaned up, she wasn’t quiet. If he was going to wake up, then she’d give him a fighting chance.

There was no way in hell she was going to send him home. It took years to get him even to talk to her. This was going to be one hell of an uphill battle.

When she returned to the couch, she didn’t want to leave him there as she headed upstairs to her room. It felt wrong.

So, she made the decision.

It looked like they were sleeping together.

The thought made her heart skip.

She nearly wanted to dance around the room. She was going to be sleeping with Lucian Monroe.

Hell yeah!

This is what good karma was all about.

Gently, she moved his legs, placing them where she’d been sitting. He stirred a little, but didn’t wake up. Carefully, she unlaced his shoes and slipped them off his feet.

Lord, the man had big feet.

Jesus.

She tried not to think about what else was big on him. If she did, she’d combust. Instead, she turned off all the lights, but left the one in her reading room on to flood out and give him some light if he woke up.

She didn’t want him to be alarmed.

Then Bishop got to do something she’d always wanted to do. She crawled onto the couch in front of him, pulling the blanket over them. When her head touched his shoulder, he automatically made room for her.

“Bishop,” he muttered.

“I’m here, Lucian. I’ll always be here. I promise.”

Then she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.