Orgasm in 5 Minutes (4 page)

For many women, it is difficult to admit that we masturbate. We are used to hearing that masturbation “is a man’s thing” or that women cannot masturbate because they have no penis to touch, or it is “bad” or at least “an inappropriate habit for females.” Nonsense! The best way to convince you that masturbation is something nice, pleasurable, and even good for your health, is for you to put it into practice. In this chapter I will teach you to masturbate, in case you do not know how, or to improve your technique if you have been practicing for a while.

The benefits of masturbation, so that you will be the one controlling the speed and intensity of your orgasms, are innumerable. If you practice regularly, you will learn to “take the reins” during sex, regardless of whether your partner is an expert or not. The goal is to not depend on your partner to reach an orgasm, and for climax to be something so natural in your relationships that you can concentrate on other aspects of the sexual relationship, and you will not have to be worried beforehand, wondering, “Will I have an orgasm or won’t I?” This assurance will free you from the fears that many women tend to have before sexual contact, it will make you feel more secure, and you will become much more attractive and interesting to others.

“With the fingers of one hand, hold the lips of your vagina open and stretched upwards. With the other hand, begin to gently caress your clitoris. With the skin stretched, the feeling is much more intense.”

María, 32 years old

Have you been convinced of the importance and benefits of masturbation? So, let us practice. How do I masturbate? What is the best position? Should I use just my hands or use any device? Is it necessary for me to insert something into my vagina? The general answer to all these questions would be that you can do whatever you like or feel like at the time. If you prefer to use only your hands, perfect! If the idea of doing it while watching an erotic film excites you, no problem! If you tremble with excitement just thinking about your vagina getting penetrated by some kind of dildo, do not deprive yourself! It is essential that you banish from your mind any “bad” or “inconvenient” idea: masturbation is perfectly natural and healthy, and there should be nothing stopping you from enjoying your body as you want. Sitting, standing, lying down, while you shower, before bed, waking up . . . Any time is perfect to enjoy!

I will give you a short guide on the types of masturbation that most women find more pleasant. But do not forget that when it comes time to enjoy it, there are no limits other than those imposed by your own imagination.

The best position for you to masturbate depends much on the body part where you decide to focus. Normally, you will tend to focus on the clitoris, but it does not necessarily need to be so; there are other intensely erotic areas of the body that can also make you orgasm. In fact, ideally you should combine the stimulation of several parts at once.

“I mostly like to do it in bed, lying on my side. I run one of my hands behind my thigh, I put two fingers in my vagina, and I begin to gently move them in and out. With the other hand I touch my clitoris with increasingly rapid circular movements. I feel like an irresistible energy begins to circulate through every nerve in my body until . . . Ahhh!”

Penélope, 20 years old

T
HE CLITORIS

Rest the base of the palm of your right hand in the pubic area, right where the hair starts. Place the tip of the clitoris between your middle and index fingers and gently begin to move up and down. With your other hand, stretch up the outer lips of the vagina while keeping them together. Try not to over-tighten the clitoris between your fingers. The pressure should be gentle as your body prompts you to speed up the movement. Do not forget that this is a very sensitive area, and if you push too hard, you may find it bothersome.

A variant of this technique is to insert one or two fingers of the left hand in your vagina, just a little, and make soft and delicate circular movements. This way you will stimulate all the nerves of the vaginal opening, which are also very sensitive. Any position can be good for this type of stimulation: lying with your knees slightly bent and your thighs slightly parted seems more normal. But why not try it standing, leaning against a wall, or in the shower?

Clitoral stimulation can be actually done in as many ways as you can imagine. I have a friend who does it while pedaling a bicycle! Her teammates have never understood why she is so fond of the sport. Another common way is to lie face down with your legs together and rub the pelvis against a cushion or pillow. The effect is the same: clitoral stimulation. In this case it is not so direct, and it will probably take longer to orgasm . . . It all depends on the time at your disposal!

Any of these techniques may be preceded or accompanied by caressing your breasts, inner thighs, or other body parts you enjoy touching.

T
HE
G
-SPOT

This small protrusion, located about an inch inside the anterior vaginal wall, is especially sensitive, and some women I know would not change the sensation they experience when caressing it for anything else in the world. But in this case, a certain position is required, because it is not very easy to access this darned spot.

Lie on your back and bend your knees completely. Insert two fingers in the vagina facing toward the front, close to the belly. Three or four inches from it, you will notice a small bump on the skin, more or less the size of a penny. If you press firmly but without violence, you will notice that something like an erection happens: it gets a little harder and it seems to swell. That is the time to start to touch it while maintaining pressure on it. The feeling that awaits you is indescribable!

T
HE URETHRA

I know some women who find a special pleasure when they stimulate their urethra. This is the orifice where urine exits, which is located between the vagina and the clitoris. The technique involves stroking in a circular motion and always maintaining a certain pressure. Not all women reach an orgasm this way, but some have told me that if you combine touching the urethra with clitoral stimulation, the orgasm is much more intense.

E
MOTIONAL AND ALTERNATIVE ORGASMS

An orgasm is not always preceded by stimulation of the genital area. Every woman, every person, is different. My female and male friends have orgasms by caressing their chests or by stimulating their anuses. It is even possible to get there using only your imagination, without any touching at all. Certainly it seems unlikely at first, but there are people capable of doing just that. In any case, it is ideal to combine the stimulation of at least two body parts to achieve more complete and more intense alternative orgasms. For example, you can try to caress your clitoris while pressing the G-spot, or caress your breasts or anus while moving your fingers up and down on the clitoral hood.

S
OME SUGGESTIONS

The use of lubricants.
Lubricating substances increase sensitivity and provide pleasure. It does not matter if they are vaginal secretions, artificial lubricants, or saliva. The only thing to keep in mind is that the genital skin is very sensitive, and some products can irritate. To avoid this, always use alcohol-free and water-based lubricants. Having said that, everything that contributes to increase sensitivity can facilitate an orgasm, so welcome it! Saliva is a natural substance that can prove to be extremely erotic. Play with it, and do not limit yourself.

Explore other textures and sensations.
Try rubbing your body with a piece of velvet or a silk scarf—perhaps with a soft cotton towel. Anything that develops your creativity and inventiveness will improve your sex life and ease your orgasms. Experimenting with new sensations is the best prevention against routine and boredom.

The time to practice.
Anytime can be a good time for an orgasm. However, sometimes the menstrual cycle may have some influence. It has been scientifically proven that around the eighteenth day of the cycle, your body is specially prepared to reach an orgasm. At that time of the month, your body produces extra amounts of pheromones that will make you more sexually aroused and attract the men around you. This hormone comes out through sweat and creates a very sexy aura around you. Seize the moment!

B
ENEFITS OF MASTURBATION

Masturbation
is highly recommended by therapists and sexologists as the best way to show women that satisfaction does not just depend on men.

Women who masturbate
regularly to reach an orgasm have no trouble achieving full sexual satisfaction in their relationships. The same thing cannot be said of those who never or rarely masturbate.

The ability to have an orgasm
through masturbation every time you want will greatly help keep up your self-esteem, boost your confidence, and increase your personal charm.

Masturbation
is an excellent exercise for blood circulation, which helps improve the functioning of the cardiovascular system.

There is no better cure for stress
than the regular practice of masturbation. The release of endorphins, brought on by an orgasm, is the best remedy for anxiety caused by the stress of modern life.

Whenever you touch
your vagina and you have an orgasm, you are exercising and learning to understand and control the muscles in your genital area. This exercise will help prevent risks and complications during childbirth.

In the age of AIDS
and all kinds of STDs, it is difficult to find a better way to practice safe sex.

P
ROBLEMS?

Maybe you have been practicing what we suggested, and the results have not been entirely satisfactory. I mean, you have a good time, but not enough. You have not been able to get to that high discharge, those sublime uncontrollable contractions that take you to seventh heaven. Do not despair, and do not get nervous. Maybe you were too tense or too relaxed, or your mind was elsewhere. We will give an overview of the most common situations that often occur to women who have a hard time achieving an orgasm while masturbating.

Too many expectations.
So many of you have spent the entire time holding your breath. If you are in such a rush to reach an orgasm that you barely breathe, you may not get there. Remember what we told you in the previous chapter. Practice the exercises that we suggested. Your breathing should be deep and harmonious, and if not forced, it will adapt to each of the different phases.

Too much tension
. Are you afraid that someone might walk in on you? Is it difficult for you to relax? Find a time of day exclusively for yourself. Lock the door, put a soft light on, and turn off the phone. Begin practicing the breathing exercise we indicated in the previous chapter and . . . enjoy!

Too much relaxation.
Do you not get aroused? Does your body feel heavy and not respond? Maybe you are one of those women who need to put a little more excitement into the matter. Many of us feel much more excited in risky or unusual situations. I have a friend who likes it most in the elevator—she lives on the tenth floor—or while driving to work—I always tell her to pay attention to the road. Do not be shy! Try it on the subway or when you go to the bathroom at coffee time!

Friction bothers me.
Surely it is because you are not sufficiently lubricated. The friction that occurs between your fingers and genital areas requires adequate lubrication. Remember the suggestions we made. If the vaginal fluid is not enough—do you insert your fingers in your vagina?—use saliva or an artificial lubricant that does not contain alcohol or aggressive substances.

I am unable to focus.
Is your head always somewhere else? You have to make an effort to concentrate. You are having sex, and your mind should focus on that. Are you unable to get there? Use some external stimulus. How about a movie? Better yet, a book? Statistics show that women get more excited by words and pictures than men do. Do you agree? You can try with
Lady Chatterley’s Lover
by D. H. Lawrence.

Blame it on your period.
Remember that the menstrual cycle may influence your ability to reach an orgasm. Usually between the tenth and eighteenth day, the hormone levels in your body are at their peak. Those are days of increased fertility and sexual desire, so why not give it a try? During the days immediately before and after menstruation, there are many women who cannot even hear any talk about sex.

Take courage, friends! Masturbate in bed, in the bathroom, in the car. Do it whenever you have the chance. All women, including you, can have an orgasm, or more, whenever they want. Statistics show that women who masturbate regularly reach an orgasm in 3 to 5 minutes. And that is from the start, meaning without prior stimulation or an especially appropriate situation. Can you imagine how long it would take if you were previously aroused by some fantasy, or in the company of a gorgeous and desirable guy? If you still have not been able to get there in that time, it is simply for lack of practice. Explore your body, touch yourself, and learn what gives you pleasure. If you practice and practice, you will undoubtedly succeed.