Oriana's Eyes (22 page)

As we walk back to the field, I see Malise and Aaron side by side searching through the tall grass. Would Malise have left her brother behind if we had not found him in time? Of course she would not. How then can I enjoy happiness here, knowing my sister is still experiencing that kind of life?

By midday Piper, Lily, Toby, Malise, and her brother as well as Dorian and I head to the river. Already diving from the rock cliff and swimming below we find Finley and the four others. Through the spray of falls I can see Dugan as he descends a smooth arc into the gorge of rushing water below. This time as we approach the river from the forest, just looking upon the height of the cliff makes me shiver.

Dorian lifts his shirt off over his head, his gaze focused on the ledge above. Piper and Lily slip off their dresses, revealing cotton undershirts and shorts underneath. I decide to sit out, knowing that in a short while I must think of some excuse to return to the Great Oak on my own.

Malise and her brother find a place upon the shore, sinking their feet slowly into the running water. Toby follows Dorian around to the incline that leads over the river and above the falls. I watch him ascend the hill and disappear behind a stretch of trees growing upon the angle of the ground beneath them. Moments later, he appears at the ledge, an impressive figure, squared shoulders, strong neck, the sweep of thick black hair. I know his features well, and yet the mental image does not satisfy my desire to have him near.

He walks to the edge, positioning himself for the dive. In one fluid movement he takes into the air, the leap taking him to a height level with the falls above. It seems he might never fall but instead take flight, remaining in the air, propelled by invisible wings. Yet with the ease of a bird of prey, Dorian curves his body downward, mirroring the streak of the cascade of liquid behind him. In his final moments above the river he transforms; taking on the swift agility of a fish and breaking through the river’s surface as if returning home. He does not resurface until after several moments in which he has traveled a distance downstream. Dorian finds me upon the shore and swims toward me, his strokes propelling him against the current with ease.

“You’re not coming in?” he queries slyly.

“No … the river and I have come to an agreement. I don’t go in, and she doesn’t drown me.” I venture a glance at the tumbling current, and the foam that breaks upon the smooth river stone.

“You can stay by me; I won’t let her take you.” Dorian reaches out his arms toward me and starts to wade up the rocky shore.

I take a step backward. If I let him near me, I might not be able to tear myself away. That would cause me to miss my chance, and if I don’t leave today, there will be no time before the Rebirth. To my shameful dismay, Dorian’s kindness only seems to have grown throughout the day, making my plans harder and harder to carry through.

I shake my head. “Actually … I … Azura asked me to meet with her today. I promised I would … I should head back to the Oak … try to find her.”

Dorian halts, letting his arms fall to his sides, and frowns. “Okay …” He thinks for a moment, “I will go with you then.” He moves to take a step forward.

“No! I mean … I don’t want to ruin your fun. It’ll only take a short time.” I am already stepping backward into the woods. “I’ll see you soon after.” The last I say over my shoulder, knowing I have lied to him and not able to stare him in the face any longer. Luckily Dorian respects my privacy and does not follow.

I make it back to the Great Oak with an hour or so till evening. The platforms are nearly empty, I do not pass anyone on my way to the meeting hall. They are all probably in the forest or meadow, enjoying the last half of the pleasant day. I on the other hand am already looking forward to the night, when I will have safely returned to the Great Oak, Lenora beside me.

I reach the meeting hall without interference. I enter slowly and peer into its depths, listening for any sign of occupants. I sigh, realizing it is completely empty.

I search among the shelves for one of the scrolled maps. I unroll the smallest, knowing it will be easiest to carry, I notice an odd difference about it. The drawing of the Great Oak is missing; instead, among the many sketches of forest trees, one stands out among the rest. A single tree has been drawn with circular fruit ornamenting its branches; at its base, a root is shown curving into a perfect seat. I roll the parchment back together and tie it with its twine strap.

My next stop is my room, where I grab the pack from my journey the previous day. I spot my university robes folded neatly upon my dresser. Piper and Lily have kindly had them cleaned to their original whiteness. I never thought I’d wear them again. Lifting them off my dresser, I notice a book revealed beneath them. The journal of Narena, Dorian’s mother. Something compels me to grab it and I stuff it inside the bag with my old clothing beside an empty sack and drained canteen.

On the lower platform I slip inside the dining hall and find a basket of rolls that was left out from lunch. I remove the empty cloth sack from my back and fill it with as many rolls as it will hold. I tuck it back inside, hoist the straps over my shoulder, and head for the long ladder. I will fill the canteen with water from a stream in the forest. As my feet finally touch the solid ground, I whirl around to face away from the Great Oak. It has grown darker, and the setting sun has turned the forest a bright red and umber. Taking a deep breath, I start forward, concentrating on the steps directly in front of me and trying to picture Lenora’s face in my mind.

 CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

I pause at the edge of a stream to fill my canteen and take a quick sip. My hands are trembling when I fasten it closed and replace it inside my bag. It will not be long before night arrives and I reach the University. It’s as though I can sense its gaze upon me already, the watching eyes of Odon seeing into my head, observing my approach with a smirk of delight.

It takes all my energy to continue, the memories of my life there flooding back. I already hold my face blankly, hanging my arms directly beside me, taking steps parallel to my shoulders. I do not attempt to switch back. I must assume my previous habits if I am to walk among the others confidently.

In the shade of the forest wall that surrounds the University hillside, I change into my white clothing. Despite the silkiness of its fabric I find no comfort within it. I fold my blue dress into the pack. But before I leave it behind, I remove Narena’s journal from inside and slip it into my pocket. The weight of the journal bangs against my thigh as I move forward. I press my palms to my hair, smoothing it to perfection and then straightening any folds in my robes. I clear my mind, not allowing myself to think of anything but the whiteness of my blouse and the importance of remaining perfect. The past disappears, the emotions are unimportant, I can only see the next step.

The sky is darkening, and I look up the grassy hillside. Past the wall of foliage surrounding the garden it stands. A square white building protruding from the ground, its sides lined with rows of black ovals, like the many eyes of an insect. The whiteness is nauseating, and the sun’s dying rays hit it with rage. I pass the garden walls and entrance, refusing to glance at it and clearing my mind of any memories that it might trigger. I stare straight ahead. In moments my presence outside will be against the rules, it is growing late.

I step into the dead air of the University hallway. The lights have dimmed, but the white is as blinding as ever. My eyes take longer to adjust than I remember. It has been so long since they were forced to strain against the color. I remain still, trying to keep my eyes from snapping shut and my hands from trying to press the pain away. I stare downward until my vision clears enough so I can walk. I swallow, getting my bearings, and head down a corridor that feels as though I walked it just yesterday. It leads to a hallway perpendicular to my room.

I pass a group of other purebloods who are silently heading to their room. I hope my face does not reveal my shock. Their eyes are so empty, their faces so still. I am frightened by the paleness of their cheeks and the lifelessness wafting out of them. I walk past them, attempting a mindless nod of acknowledgment and trying to stiffen my shaking body.

Another turn leads me to the row of doors to each of my sector’s dormitories. I have lived here for so many years, and yet it was never home. Not like my bed among the arms of the Great Oak, where Dorian’s body keeps me warm and the walls become black after sunset. There is no night here, and the air is always still.

I halt beside my doorway, or what once was my doorway. The metal handle reflects the light of the ceiling orbs in a piercing spark. I hold my breath. No sound can be heard from within. This is it, the final moment when I tell Lenora the truth. When I tell her I forgive her, and everything that has happened within these walls means nothing to me now. It has all been Odon’s doing, the result of his hold on our malleable childhood. I have to believe that there is still hope, that we are still young enough to change. Dorian gave me this chance, and now I wish to grant my sister the same opportunity. In honesty I cannot trust that we will win. That on the day of the Rebirth, Odon will fall. And if we fail, at least I will know that my sister is safe.

With this in mind, I seize the door handle, its metal chill causing me to lose my breath. I wrench it sideways and push the door open.

The light within escapes into the hallway, and I step inside, scanning the room. Lenora sits at her usual desk, a text laid open in front of her and a notebook splayed beside it with rows of neat handwriting filling its exposed page. Her gaze turns upon me as I enter. Yet my eyes do not dwell for long upon her. Beside her, at my desk, or at what once was my desk, a Winglet sits. This desk also displays a text and notebook. Together the two stare at me, uncertain how to react to my sudden arrival. Lenora is the first to respond.

“Are you lost?” she asks, irritation rising in her voice—a familiar tone.

“Lenora … I’m here to …” I begin, but there is something about the way she addresses me that causes my throat to tighten.

“How do you know my name?” Lenora replies stiffly, confirming the fear that is already growing inside me.

“It’s me, Oriana … Lenora, don’t you …?” I hear the waver in my voice, the hot tears that I withhold desperately by biting down on my lip.

“I think you are mistaken. I have never met you before in my life,” she declares. I would think she was deceiving me if not for the honesty in her eyes.

My mouth gapes, opening and closing with no sound escaping. I am frozen for only a moment before recovering enough to escape through the door. Before I know it, I am staggering down the hallway, my palms pressed into my eyes as the tears pour from them uncontrollably. I wipe them away, but the flood continues. In a panic I start to run through the halls, finding my way back to the main entrance by a subconscious instinct.

Outside, I run down the hill, stopping short at the garden entrance. I hesitate for a moment before deciding to enter. Its comforting walls beckon me inside. I follow the stones, the sun still providing enough light for me to greet the rows of flowers. I think of Dorian, our first meeting, his hand in mine as he led me for the first time to the stone seat. Now I make my way toward it, desiring one quick rest upon its cool surface before I return to the Great Oak. I smile as I take a seat, remembering when Dorian first kissed me, when I first saw the love in his eyes.

My panic now under control, I rest my chin in my hands. How could I have been so foolish? I had completely forgotten the power of the University walls. It can control the minds of hundreds of students, set them against each other, take away their every emotion, and now I know it can make a girl forget her own sister. I do not feel relief at having carried out my plan, but there is something that settles inside me, a feeling that makes my journey worth the time it’s taken.

Sitting here, I find my independence. I made a decision on my own, and my determination gave me the strength to go through with it. I have to give myself credit for accomplishing that much.

I press a hand against the seat beside me, and my thoughts flash to Dorian once again. He must be worried, and when I return, I must face him. I must tell him the truth and what I have done. I will tell him that I am satisfied and that I will never leave his side again. Not even at the Rebirth, and he will have no choice but to agree because he will want me with him forever after. I smile as he appears before my mind’s eye. I even imagine I hear him call my name.

“Oriana.”

I startle, looking toward the entrance of the garden. A dark figure stands, the flame of a candle in an outstretched hand. I did not imagine it. Someone did say my name, but it was not Dorian.

“Oriana … that is your name, I remember it.” Aurek approaches me. I am on my feet, readying myself for an opening through which I can flee. But his large form blocks my only exit. He comes closer, and I try to move around him but his hand reaches out to grip my arm. It is strong, incredibly painful, and when I attempt to struggle, his grip tightens. He places the candle and holder upon the bench behind him and settles his eyes upon me smugly. “I saw you come out here. You must not have noticed me because you were running.”

I look around, hoping to find something I can use to escape. Nothing catches my eye. Perhaps I can persuade him to let go instead.

“That is your name, isn’t it? Oriana? Somehow I think I’ve known you …”

He reaches out and strokes my hair, sliding his hand down the back of my neck. I want to scream, cry out, but who would come to my rescue? It’s when his hands move downward that I begin to retch. His palms explore the curves of my body, sliding up my stomach toward my chest. I let him go no further. I pull backward, struggling against his hand, and he reaches for my flailing arm. I don’t give him the chance to take it. A new strength that I never knew existed emerges from within, and I deliver a swift kick. He doubles over in surprise, not having expected my initiative to fight back. A young pureblood girl would never be expected to do so.

I take advantage of his moment of confusion and thrust my elbow into his side. This causes the air to escape him and his fingers to loosen their grasp. I wrench my arm free as he topples backward. His weight and considerable height make the fall more forceful. His head sails backward and strikes the bench with a sickening crunch, followed by an eerie silence.

I stand over him, staring in horror. I pray he will make the slightest movement, that his chest might make one rise and fall. He is completely still. A black liquid oozes across the bench from beneath his head, it creeps across the smooth surface like a living creature.

I move to kneel beside him, to check his eyes, examine his injury, but I leap back as the ground behind him bursts into flames. Aurek’s fall knocked the candle from the bench, causing it to set the grass alight. The fire spreads quickly, my vision blurs as I mindlessly try to put it out. If I don’t, the entire garden will soon be ablaze and burn to the ground. I throw dirt upon it. Someone will notice the flames, and I will have no time to escape … no time …
I have no time.

Aurek is still not moving, and my breath comes in terrified gasps.
Relax, Oriana, think
 …
think of something
 …
I am not sure if I should run now or stop the flames, if only I can stop the flames from spreading!
Think!

There is a voice behind me, a whimper. I whip around, leaving the fire for a second to search out the noise. Fisk stares at me in horror, his eyes discovering the still form of Aurek, not just still, dead. He starts to yell. A shrill shriek of rage echoes in my ears like thousands of alarming crickets enveloping the night. I hear my own scream and swallow it, searching behind me for something, someone. I only find the bench, dripping with black blood, and the raging fire that has now engulfed half the garden. I back away from it.
What have I done
 …
what
 …
what!?
My body lurches convulsively, my hands pull at my hair, sweat upon my brow from the intense heat of the fire. I watch as Aurek’s body attracts the flames, the red fingers licking off his flesh and clothing. I shake my head trying to rid myself of the image, the image I had caused.

“NO!!!”

The hands of the guards fasten around my arms just as the Odonian instructs them. I am unable to fight, unable to find the sky, the stars, the ground beneath me. It all spins in one revolting daze. I feel a sharp pain in my neck that sends me hurtling toward unconsciousness, the echoing words of someone from above chase me downward into darkness.

“Bring her to Odon.”