Out Of Bounds (Balls To The Walls) (3 page)

“Mason, why would you do this?” Her trembling lips hardly made the question audible.

I shrugged. “You know why.”

“Haaaaa.” She sighed and chuckled all in one breath. “Why Mason why?”

“Tess, I’m in love so it seemed like the right thing to do, the best thing to do. It was the best thing to do for me.”

“Did you marry her?” The word ‘her’ was laced with contempt.

“If by her you mean Kari. Yes I married Kari.”

“I thought that was over. I thought she was marrying some other guy?”

I had no idea where Tess got her information. Apparently she has been a busy bee doing some investigating on her own.

“That never happened. Kari is married to me.” I barked. I wasn’t sure why I had a major attitude.

“So you just go off and get a new wife and a new family.”

“I’m still going to be here for my kids. I’m still going to be in their lives.”

“You think so.” She growled.

My brow inched closer to my hairline. I didn’t bother to give any credence to her words. She could never keep me from my kids. If I was the asshole she presumed me to be I could probably get sole custody of our children. Her suicide attempt and years of mental illness were all the ammunition I needed to win in court. It was good for Tess that I wasn’t the highest degree of a bastard. It was just her luck I was an average asshole, not a malicious, petty, vengeful motherfucker. 

“Tess, we have to find a way to break the news to the kids.”

“I’m not telling them you got married. Mason they don’t even no we’re divorced.”

“I’m
going to have to tell them. So maybe we should tell them about my marriage together.”

“It’s your new wife not mine.” She snipped just to get to me.

“Tess I thought we agreed to co-parent.”

“You agreed.” She rolled her eyes at me.

“No we agreed. We also agreed to do what was best for out kids.”

“I’m not going to pretend that I like the whore that stole my husband.”

“Tess please.” Now I had an eye roll to add to the mix.

“I’m not going to tell my kids that daddy married a nice lady when she’s a husband stealing whoring black bitch.” Tess stood and started to pace the small area near the couch.

“My wife is not a whore. She is not a bitch. Please don’t make this transition hard for me, Kari and the kids.”

“I don’t give a shit about that sluts fucking transition.”

“You are being unreasonable. We are divorced.”

“You think I should make it easy for you?”

Hells yeahs. “Yes, I do.”

“Never, not in this lifetime. I will never make life easy for your new slutty fat wife.”

“For our kids, you are their mother and you should care about their well-being.”

“I care about my kids. Don’t say that I don’t care.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it, you selfish fucker.”

“No, Tess please, just listen to me and think, be rational. Let’s do what’s best for them.” I had a convenient threat up my sleeve. I didn’t want to use it but this seemed to be the opportune time to throw it out in the air. “Tess I think it would be in your best interest to embrace this situation.”

Tess answered with flipping me the bird. Is she for real? Did she just give me the middle finger like we are in middle school?

“Listen Tess, my new wifey has anger management problems. If you call her a whore, a slut whatever, she will attack you physically, probably when I’m not around. She fights dirty.” Don’t get your ass handed to you.

“And this is the woman you married, a woman that would physically attack me?”

Did Tess forget the altercation in the hotel parking lot? She was the one that was all hot for a fight with Kari. She was the one
cruisin’ for a bruisin
’. Kari once told me her family has bail money. If she ever got locked up they would get her out. Now that I am Kari’s family I would have to bail her out. Going to jail for beating someone up is not something Kari wants to do. But she made it clear that it could happen if Tess gets out of line. “Tess, Kari wants to kick your ass.” Kari never said that but a little fib to bring my point across is acceptable.

“Of course it could happen. She’s a fucking animal with no morals.”

“Tess give it a rest. Whatever Kari is, I love her. I married her. Deal with it.”

“I don’t have to deal with it.” She mimicked my bravado and nonchalance.

“The kids need to see you, me, and Kari getting along.”

“Fuck you, never.”

“Tess, you need to move on. Stop acting like a spoiled bitter ex.”

“It’s so easy for you to say that. I have three kids. What am I supposed to do Mason? Am I going to watch our kids while you go out on dates?”

“I don’t go out on dates. I’m married; every minute of every day with Kari is a date. I’m happy now. I love Kari.” Shit! That stung. Fuck it. She deserved that one.

“You just couldn’t pry yourself away from your black whore.”

“She’s my wife.” I stood up from my chair and quickly closed the small gap between us. “I will not stand here and listen to you talk shit about my wife. The next time you call my wife anything other than her name you will regret it.” My glare was fierce more fierce than I needed but I meant it. I was tired of the ridiculous and childish behavior that was Tess’ go-to code of conduct.

Tess had a routine that pissed me off. She always tired to come across as innocuous but in reality she was a manipulative coward that used her fear as a crutch. How I spent so many years with such a weak woman is a mystery. Kari has my back. If I lost everything I have Kari is the kind of woman that would not fall apart. She would stick by me in sickness and in health. Tess is sick herself. Kari is a survivor. Kari is dependable not a grown up dependent. This meeting with Tess had made it clear that I have made all the right decisions. I love Kari. No matter what the doctor says tomorrow I am going to put on a brave face for my true love.

There wasn’t much more to say to Tess. I had to leave before we woke the kids or either I choked her to death. Either one of those things were bound to happen if I stayed a minute more in her bony frail presence. There was no need to mention Kari’s possible pregnancy. I could save that little scrap of info for another time. I still don’t know or understand Tess. 

CHAPTER 3

MASON

The next day at the office my body was filled with a relentless ache. The pain wasn’t anywhere in particular. It was a mass that radiated throughout my limbs. I had no choice but to question the validity of my phantom illness. I was turning into a hypochondriac. I believe my pain was psychosomatic. I was a psycho with signs and being a maniac. How was I supposed to feel?

It was extremely tough to work a full day when I had this infamous doctor’s appointment in the frontier of my mind. Am I strong enough to deal with this? Am I strong enough to deal with Jack
? Could I really truly coexist in a civilized manner for eighteen years with Jack? Shit, am I strong enough to deal with Jack in a civilized manner for five full seconds? I know I can handle it. Or I believe I can handle it but something tells me it won’t be smooth sailing. Something tells me I should start buying the supplies I need to get rid of Jack’s body. Maybe I should watch a few episodes of Dexter. Maybe I should buy a boat. I’m sure there are a lot of assholes bodies floating in Lake Michigan, one more asshole named Jack Unger really won’t make the difference.

I used up a small potion of my workday actually getting some work done.
I even took a drive out to one of the work sites. I eventually returned to the office and I spent the rest of my day talking with my nephew RJ. He was just what I needed to get my mind off my worries. RJ was quite a character with his overtly animated tales of twenty-three year old bullshit.

When I could get a
few words in edgewise I told RJ I got hitched. He didn’t seen to be surprised by my nuptials. He just smiled his goofy grin and patted me on the back. He pulled me in for a man-hug. He gave me a congrats and preceded to talk about himself. I found myself paying attention to his tales, anything to take my mind off my own problems.

RJ told me his girlfriend Deja was shacking up with him above his mother’s garage. Of course this was top-secret information. Deja was supposed to be living in her dorm room at the University of Chicago. Those two would go as far as to park her car around the corner so it’s not in my sister’s driveway. I wasn’t in the mood to give RJ any long speeches or solemn lectures so I just listened to him. His childish secret was safe with me. I had my own problems to contend with.

Was this possible pregnancy a serious problem? Am I a complete and total ass for looking at it like that?

I had pregnancy on the brain. I
couldn’t help but think that if RJ gets this Deja pregnant? It will not be good for anyone. RJ is coming around. He is becoming a more responsible adult but he is not father material. Here I am thinking about RJ getting his girlfriend pregnant while I might have a pregnant wife.

Why do I feel like I’m in a smog of denial? Pregnancy tests are accurate. Every single pregnancy test Tess ever took was accurate. So why do I now have doubt? Maybe my doubt is none other then wishful thinking. I wish Kari wasn’t pregnant with Jack’s kid. I hope my mind doesn’t explode thinking of it
. But does it even matter. Hell yeah it matters. This is enough to drive a man to drink.

I went straight home after work and I tried to act relatively normal. Kari knew me well. She was being extremely touchy with me. We hadn’t had sex since the big revelation. Not having sex with my new wife was weird. Sex was something we did well together.

Kari touching me felt the same as before. I was letting this little unexpected situation consume me. When there was really no reason for my uneasiness. No matter the outcome, Kari loves me. I love her. We have been through a lot and this pothole just needs some cement.

To be greeted with a kiss, was the life.
Kari’s lips tasted so damn good when she met me in the kitchen. I wished we were headed for the bedroom and not the gynecologist. The drive to the doctor’s was relatively calm and silent. The radio played in the background.

It took exactly twenty-four minutes for my greatest fear to be confirmed. I was watching the big circular clock posted on the doctor’s office wall. As soon as we stepped into the waiting room my eyes scanned the bland stiff decor. The clock was mounted on the wall much too high for the purpose of telling time. Kari signed the clipboard at the front desk and made small talk with the receptionist. I took a seat and pretended to read the parenting magazine with the little black boy with blue eyes on the cover. This toddler cover model had dark brown skin. But his eyes were bluer than mine. What would a child with Kari and I look like? Shit
! What would a child of Kari and Jack’s look like?

I hoped this visit wouldn’t take a long time. But really what was the rush
, nine months is a mighty long time. I was all over the place with my thoughts, my emotions, my fucked up fears. I hated feeling this way. My eyes gravitated to the two other people in the quaint modern but stale waiting room area with the stiff ass decor.

There was a young Mexican girl in
gray sweats that looked like a teenager, maybe fifteen. Fifteen was just me being generous. She actually looked like a pubescent twelve-year old with a huge pregnant belly. The girl’s mother was sitting next to her with a major scowl. I had to push my face back into the magazine to stop from staring. I guess I could have kept staring. The young girl’s face was blissfully engrossed in her cell phone and the mother was staring into space like she was in a coma. If my ladybug were a pregnant teen I would probably have the same look.

Sooner than I imagined
I followed my wife back to the examination room. She left the room briefly to be weighed and to pee in a cup. It was confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I felt the old Asian doctor’s glare as Kari introduced me as her husband. That is I, the husband. But am I the father of her child? If only Dr. Kim could pull a paternity test result out of my wife’s vagina.

There was a thick silence as we rode the elevator down to the ground floor. There was no elevator music in the damn elevator, just silence. What were we supposed to say to each other? It was so early in the pregnancy we just couldn’t be sure who the father was. The car ride home wasn’t better. We sat silently in the Rover, no conversation, no eye contact, no singing along with the radio. We left all the singing up to Katy Perry. She was belting out
Dark Horse
.

The baby news was not good news. The
baby news should have made us closer, made us a happy couple. But it was putting a communication wedge in between us. I was not able to communicate my feelings for fear I would hurt Kari. This is real karma for a cocky motherfucker like me. This shit hurts me deeply. Can I even realistically hope this baby is mine? Can this baby be mine?  Kari wasn’t talking but I caught her with a pen, paper and a calendar. I knew what she was up too. She was trying to figure out the provability of me being the father. She was counting the days in her head. She was frustrated and I knew better than to bother her.