Out Of Control (34 page)

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Authors: Desiree Holt

BOOK: Out Of Control
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“If
he really wants to kill me, why would he trash my house and tell me to leave?
If I did go, I’d be out of his reach.”

“To
scare you. Put you off your guard so he could get closer to you. The thing he
didn’t expect was that I’d bring you here to stay with me.”

She
frowned. “Do you think he knows?”

“I
didn’t exactly broadcast it, but you know yourself this is a small community.
Just in case, I’ll have the deputies come by regularly while they’re out
covering the county.

“I
should have insisted my parents let me talk to the police.” She was trembling
again. “I could have done something.”

“Are
you kidding? You were a child. Dana, listen to me.” He tightened his hold, his
cheek pressed to her hair. “None of this was your fault. None of it.”

She
leaned her head against his chest again, her tears soaking his shirt. “But I
didn’t save Kylie. I was the big sister and I didn’t help her.”

Oh,
god. How much guilt had eaten her up all these years? How had she even
survived? No wonder she lived with a wall around herself, working every day not
to fall apart, seeking salvation as she helped others in similar situations.

“You
were seven years old, darlin’. You could barely save yourself.”

She
shook her head against his chest. “No, I was the one who told her we could go.
It’s my fault, Cole. My parents always knew it.”

“Wait.”
He tipped her face up so he could see it. With his thumb, he wiped away the
tears glistening on her cheeks. “Are you telling me your parents blamed you for
what happened?”

“Not
in so many words. But I was the older sister. I knew better than to go off with
strangers.”

“Oh,
Dana. What a mess people made of your life.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m
thinking your parents didn’t know how to handle their own grief so they dumped
it on you. But never, ever blame yourself for what happened.”

“It’s
been so hard,” she whispered.

“I
know, but now it will get easier.”

“Maybe.
I think telling you was the worst of it. Now…”

“Yes,
darlin’. Now.” He sat up with her and pulled his cell phone from its clip on
his belt. “Give me just a minute here. I need to check in with Gaylen.”

“Will
you tell him? About me?”

“Not
until I get back to the station. I don’t want to take a chance someone might
overhear the conversation.”

“You
know I never actually saw him. When I came to, I was blindfolded.” She swiped
at her damp cheeks again. “But I remember the man had an odor about him.
Something I can’t identify. Something really strong that made my eyes water.”

“Maybe
from the clown grease-paint he was wearing?” Cole ventured.

“No.”
She shook her head. “I’ve smelled grease-paint since then. This was more like cologne,
but not one I’ve ever come in contact with since then. And he was singing.”

Cole
stared at her. “Singing? Singing what?”

“That’s
the problem,” she cried. “I can’t remember it. I pushed it so far out if my
mind it won’t come back.”

“Do
you remember anything about it?”

“No.”
She shook her head vehemently. “I never wanted to hear it again. I guess I’ve
done too good a job blanking it out.”

“Who
could blame you? Okay, let me just check in and see if there’s any update. Let
Gaylen know I’m on the way back.”

When
he finished the call, he stood up, taking her with him and setting her on her
feet. His mouth brushed against hers. “I don’t want to leave you, but I have
to.”

“I
know, I know. Gaby’s out there somewhere and you have to find her.” She leaned
into him. “I wish I’d had the courage to tell you about this sooner.”

“Dana.
Honey. It’s all right,” he assured her. “It took a lot of courage to tell me at
all.”

“But
if I’d told you earlier, maybe none of this would have happened,” she
protested, misery tightening her voice.

“Your
arrival may have stuck a pin in him, but we don’t think he’s been idle all this
time, either. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“I
just want to have this over with once and for all,” she sniffed, clutching at
his shirt. She rubbed her cheek against the curls of dark chest hair peeking
out over the vee of his shirt, somehow taking comfort from them. “To stop the
killing and put him away, so I can try to be a normal woman. That’s all. Is
that asking so much?”

“Of
course not.” He tightened his arms around her.

Although
he still heard a tremor in her voice, she sounded stronger than before, as if
getting this all out was cathartic for her. And maybe it was.

She
shivered in his arms. “Cole, what am I going to do?”

“Stay
right in this house until we catch him. And that’s an order. I don’t intend to
let anything happen to you.”

Suddenly,
she smacked her forehead with her palm. “The news about Gaby drove everything
else out of my mind. I called you to begin with because of the meeting this
morning. Cole, every one of those women mentioned clowns being at the event
where their children disappeared. Just like with Kylie and me. The same
situation. When I checked back over the reports, all but two of them mentioned
clowns. But I couldn’t find where anyone had ever checked on that.”

“You’re
right.” Again he felt irritation at the sloppy police work. “I looked, but I
couldn’t find anything, either. Pissed me off.”

“Shouldn’t
that have been the first thing they jumped on?”

Cole
snorted. “And let word get out that Salado County was letting a murdering
pedophile run loose? Besides, the county commission and the chamber were the
ones who hired the clowns. No one wanted to point fingers at them on this.”

“Two
of the women this morning who used to volunteer at the chamber said they’d try
to find the old records,” she told him. “See if there was any information,
maybe get us some contacts.”

Cole’s
pulse jumped. A lead? After all this time? “When are they supposed to get back
to you? We’re running out of time here.”

“Let
me see if I can reach either of them right now.” She found her cell phone and
tried both numbers. “Busy,” she told him. “But I’ll keep trying.”

“Good.”
He smoothed his hand over her silky dark blonde hair.

“Is
your FBI guy checking for similar cases?” she asked.

“As
we speak.”

She
took in a deep breath and let it out. “Tell people whatever you have to in
order to get this monster. Just get him. Now.” She swallowed hard. “Cole, thank
you for being so understanding about…everything.”

“Understanding?
God! I’m amazed at the courage it took for you to live your life. For you to
tell me what happened. And I thank you for trusting me enough to do this.”

She
wrapped her arms around herself, as if that was all that was holding her together.
“Will you let me know what’s going on?”

“Whenever
I get a minute, I’ll call you. That’s a promise. I’ll be checking on you
anyway, just to make sure you’re okay.” He cupped her chin. “And do not let
anyone in this house except me unless I call you first. I don’t care who it is.
I think we both agree you could be high on his list, and I don’t want to take
any chances with you. I wouldn’t leave you now if I didn’t have to. As soon as
I get to the office and see what’s what, I’ll get someone over here. In the
meantime, stay locked up tight.”

“Got
it, Sheriff.” She gave him a weak smile.

At
the door, he turned to her, needing to touch her once more before he left. Her
face was pale, the skin taut over her cheekbones, and her hazel eyes showed the
fear she was trying so hard to hide. He stood with his hands on her shoulders, urgency
pulling at him, but he allowed himself one last kiss. A deep one. A hungry one.
She welcomed his tongue gladly and molded her body to his, her soft breasts
pushing into his chest.

His
cock swelled and his balls tightened with need. He wished he could forget the
ugliness he had to hurry back to, take her to his bedroom, strip her naked, and
make luxurious love to her all night long.

With
a tremendous effort of will, he broke the kiss. “I’ll be back sometime before
the night is over.”

She
touched her fingertips to her lips and pressed them against his. “I’ll be
waiting.”

He
leaped down the porch steps with one bound and jogged to his truck. In the
midst of depravity and horror, his heart had tumbled right out of his chest and
lost itself to that woman. Amazing, what life hits you with when you least
expect it.

He
was five minutes out from the station when Gaylen radioed him to change course.

“We
found her.” His voice was heavy with sadness and anger. “Not too far from her
house.” He gave Cole the address.

“Didn’t
we search there first thing?”

“Right
after we got the word. But it was still light out. Apparently he waited until
it got dark and then dumped her.”

Cole
wondered if he’d ever get rid of the sick feeling consuming him. “On my way.
Listen, do we have anyone you can send to my house?” He paused. “Dana’s there,
and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to leave her alone.”

“I’ll
do my best to cut someone loose,” the chief deputy said. “But you know how thin
we’re staffed and this new killing isn’t helping.”

“I
know, I know. Okay. See you in a few.”

The
area at the end of Gaby Marquez’s street was filled with cars and people.
Scott, who was standing off to one side, motioned him over.

“I
called the SAC and told him the shit has really hit the fan. He’s sending four
more agents out here, two of them with a forensics van.”

“Good.
Thanks. We can use all the scientific help you can give us. Mickey and Andi are
good, but they’re only trained in the basics. Anything we can’t handle, we
usually ship to Austin.” Cole took off his Stetson, raked his hands through his
hair, and clapped the hat back on. “I hope to hell they get here soon.”

“Trust
me. They’re probably driving like bats out of hell. I’ve ridden with them
before.” The agent pulled a folded sheet of paper from his pocket. “We got a
fax back from Quantico with their preliminary profile. Want the short version?”

“Please.”
Cole was listening but he kept his eyes on the activity around him.

“White
male, probably between sixty and seventy years old. The age is based on the
twenty-five year span between crimes,” Scott explained. “He’s friendly. Maybe
even very outgoing. He likes attention—the clown disguise fits his personality.
Nice guy, kids love him, he’s well liked and well known in the community. He
moves easily among the population without sending out any warning signals.”

“Jesus.
That could be any one of hundreds of men in Salado County.”

“This
one’s sexual needs give him a lot of repressed rage because he can’t satisfy
them easily. He almost resents the victims for making him feel the way he does.
That’s why he abuses their bodies so badly.”

“I
wonder what started him off in the first place?’

“Good
question. Usually people with these kinds of problems had a trigger in their
early life. Something that still torments them and drives them. Could be a
victim of abuse himself.” Scott shuffled some papers in front of him. “Listen,
I hope you don’t mind, but I put one of your deputies going through the voter
rolls pulling out the names of anyone we could remotely consider. He’d be more
familiar with the people around here.”

“No,
that’s fine. Whatever you want. I should just tell everyone you’re in charge
anyway.”

Scott
flapped his hand in the air. “No need. This is working just fine. Besides, your
people seem to have a healthy respect for you. I don’t want them sticking pins
in voodoo dolls because they think I’m discounting you. Anyway, Quantico says
he’s ramping up his timeline and it won’t be long before he chooses his next
victim.”

“Next
victim.” Cole swallowed a sour taste in his mouth. “Fucking shit.”

“Double
that. So. What did you learn from Miss Moretti?”

Cole
motioned Scott to move away from the activity where they couldn’t be heard. In
short, clipped sentences he gave him every detail of Dana’s story, leaving
nothing out.

Clayton
was stunned. “My God, she’s lived with that all these years. It had to take a
lot of courage for her to come back here and try to face it head on.”

“Yeah,
and I have to say, no one was too friendly about it at first. Me included. The
word asshole comes to mind.”

Scott
rubbed the back of his neck. “When people hide a secret that long, they’re ten
times more resistant to someone pulling out their dirty laundry. Good for her
for sticking with it.”

“She
also told me a couple of things that weren’t in the reports since none of the
other victims survived.” He filled Scott in about the singing and the odor. “She’s
lived with this so long. Catching him is the only way she’ll have peace of
mind.”

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