Out Of The Ashes (7 page)

As we warmed up, the other team took the field and started their ball work.

I was always nervous at the start of a game, but today the adrenaline rushed through my veins in a heightened frenzy of excitement. Knowing Paige would be watching made me want to score all the goals, block all the other team’s attempts.

I spotted Gillian first, edging along the bottom row of the stands. I looked beyond her and Paige filled my vision. When they found seats, and Paige’s eyes finally found mine, I tilted up the corner of my mouth and raised my hand in a wave.

The smile that dawned across her face almost broke my heart and she pointed me out to Gillian. Pride made me want to thump my chest and shout to the masses. A girl, quite possibly the girl, was here to see me play.

We finished our warm-up, and sent the captains to the center of the field for the coin toss. I called it and the ball was turned over to us for the kick-off.

By halftime, my jersey was sticking to me, and I ran a hand over my hair to keep it from pasting to my forehead. It seemed like every player on the field today was playing for keeps. The game was more brutal than usual. Elbows were being thrown into ribs and faces, and the ball was nearly taking off our heads, flying through the air like a mace.

I knew it wasn’t Paige’s first soccer game since she’d played growing up, but girls never played this brutally. She was getting an eyeful today. I looked up at her and saw her watching me as I sprayed water into my mouth from a sports bottle.

She wasn’t my girlfriend or anything, but it just felt right, having her at my game. Like an empty place in the stands all these years had finally been filled.

As the second half began, I tried to stay focused on the action around me. I played my position more intently. As a forward, I played closer to our opponent’s goal, and as my teammates drilled the ball in my direction I had an opportunity to nab it and shoot it into the goal.

The ball zoomed toward me and I bent my knees to maneuver easily across my section of the field. As I pulled my right leg back, preparing to kick the ball toward the net, the toe of another player hooked behind my left leg and tugged sharply. As the ground rose to meet me, the excruciating twist in my ankle took my breath away.

I cried out as I hit the ground because the pain was that damn bad.

I rolled over on my side, pulling my knee up toward my chest while holding onto my screaming ankle.

Paige

As Clay slammed to the ground, I stood up and gasped. I was helpless as he writhed in what looked like utter agony on the ground. The vision of him in such pain sent a wake-up call to every nerve ending in my body. Gillian grasped my hand and covered her mouth with her other.

The entire crowd was on its feet, booing the opposing player who had caused Clay’s fall. He was handed a red card by the referee, but by that point, Clay’s entire team was out on the field crowded around him.

We watched, speechless, as the athletic trainers attended to his leg. I held my breath as I waited for him to get up.

Walk away from this, Clay.

Then two of his teammates, who I recognized as his roommates from their party, reached down and pulled him to his feet. The crowd cheered wildly. He gave a shaky wave as they helped him hobble to the locker room.

Now that I knew he’d be okay, the rage bubbled up inside me like a volcano about to erupt.

“That asshole!” I cried out angrily. “He did it on purpose! I want to go down there right now and claw his face off to show him how much pain Clay is in!”

“Easy, tiger,” Gillian said from beside me. She patted my back reassuringly. “Clay is going to be okay, but I’m not sure you will. Calm down. When the game is over, we’ll check on him.”

I tried taking deep breaths to calm myself down. Seeing Clay hurt like that did things to me that I didn’t want to analyze.

I was clearly starting to care about him way too much. It wasn’t fair to him, because he had no idea what a mess I was. And I wasn’t able to share it with him.

With the exception of Gillian, I didn’t talk about the fire. Any conversation about my family led straight back to the fact that I was all alone now. How could I have a serious relationship with someone and not talk about the most important thing that had ever happened to me?

The answer was simple. I couldn’t.

Ten

Clay

My phone dinged, and I groaned as I sat up on the couch and reached for it. Three hours after leaving the field, an emergency room visit and an air cast now covering my ankle added up to a very bad night.

I glanced at my phone’s screen.

Paige: Are you okay?

Then somehow, a text from Paige made the pain disappear. It was replaced by my racing heartbeat as I stared at the words she had written.

Clay: I’ve been better.

Paige: Are Drew and Rob taking good care of you?

Clay: Ha! If u call going out for a beer with the rest of the team taking good care of me.

Paige: Are you serious? SMH. Guys. What do you need?

Was I brave enough? I didn’t want to push her away. But she had asked.

Clay: I need you.

There. I’d said it. I waited to see what she’d say. I put my phone down, fully prepared to accept the fact that she’d be done speaking to me tonight. I winced as my ankle ached.

Ding! I picked it up.

Paige: I’m on my way.

The sweats I was wearing grew tighter at my groin as I realized that Paige and I would be together in my apartment. Truly alone.

My gaze swept the living room. It looked like three single guys lived here. It was a mess. I wasn’t able to run around and shove clothes out of the way, or put the dirty dishes piling in the sink into the dishwasher. I wasn’t able to vacuum our messy carpet or run into my room and make my bed. Shit.

All I could do was look around hopelessly at the mess as I waited.

About fifteen minutes later, a soft knock sounded at the door, and my heart leaped against my ribs in anticipation of seeing her. In my apartment.

Alone.

“Come in. It’s open,” I called.

The doorknob turned, and Paige pushed the door slowly open and poked her head around the edge.

“It’s me,” she said plaintively.

I laughed. “I know, Paige.”

She smiled and opened the door wider, stepping inside. She closed it quietly behind her and stared at me where I lay on the couch. I sat up to make room for her, and lifted my injured leg with both hands to move it to the coffee table.

When I winced, she moved quickly to help me.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you,” she said. She stared sadly at my ankle, and I had the sudden urge to make her feel better.

“I’m okay,” I assured her. “It’s just a bad ankle sprain. Painful, but I’ll live.”

She bent down to inspect my ankle, touching it gingerly with nimble fingers.

“You still have a lot of swelling,” she remarked. “Why aren’t you icing it?”

I shrugged. “Because the ice is too far away?”

She frowned, and got up. “I’ll get you some.”

She tore through the kitchen like a bandit, finding a dishtowel to wrap the ice in and brought back the pack to place gently on my ankle. She held it there, not putting too much pressure on the tender area.

“You’re good at this,” I said.

“I have a lot of experience with first aid,” she answered.

“How’s that?”

She set her lips in a tight line and didn’t answer. I knew not to push her.

“Don’t you have something better to do on a Thursday night than playing nurse for me?”

A short laugh escaped her. “Yeah. My social calendar is packed with stuff to do. You’re keeping me from tea with the First Lady.”

“Well, why’d you come?”

She shrugged. “You asked,” she said simply.

“And you came,” I said in wonder.

She nodded, avoiding my eyes.

I reached over and tucked a finger under her chin, nudging her to look at me. “Thank you.”

She smiled tentatively. “I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I was waiting until I thought you would be home from the hospital to text you. I’ve been thinking about you the entire time, though.”

“Yeah?” I smiled.

I liked that. I like that a whole damn lot.

“Yeah,” she answered. “What an asshole that guy was that tripped you.”

Now that threw me off, because I’d never heard her curse before. It was sexy as hell.

“It was definitely a dirty move,” I agreed. “But that’s sports. Not everyone is a good guy.”

I moved my finger across her face to trail down across her…scar? It wasn’t a line in her skin like a scar was. It was more like the skin on that side of her face was patched. I ran a finger over it, and then leaned closer so I could look in her eyes.

“Does this hurt?” I whispered.

She flinched at my touch, but didn’t pull away. She shook her head slowly, transfixed in my stare. Was she as hypnotized looking into my eyes as I was looking into hers?

I continued to stroke the puckered skin. What was her story? There was so much buried pain in her eyes that it hurt to look at her sometimes. I needed to know the source of it. But I couldn’t push her to tell me. She’d shut down and run away from me.

So I did the only other thing I could think of. I leaned in and kissed the imperfect skin. Just once. Her breath caught in her throat, and her body tightened. I didn’t move, just inhaled deeply. Her scent overwhelmed me at this distance. She must have just taken a shower before she left her apartment, because she smelled like vanilla and something spicier all at once. I inhaled again, and as I leaned forward my lips brushed her cheek again.

“Clay,” she said in a ragged whisper.

My other hand drifted around to smooth the hair out of her face.

“Paige,” I replied softly.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was barely audible.

Her mesmerizing green eyes still had me frozen, and a battle raged inside me. Half of me wanted to take her face in my hands and kiss her until the sun came up. The other half told me it would be a mistake, that I would send her running. The side of me that lacked self-control won, and I closed my eyes as I leaned forward to press my lips against hers.

Paige

When Clay kissed me, warning bells and fireworks shot off in my body simultaneously. One side of me told me that this was wrong, and that I should stop him. The other side of me told the more sensible side to shut the hell up. The bag of ice dropped onto the floor, forgotten. His hands were placed on either side of my face, and my burns tingled where he touched them. I had never let anyone touch me there. He was the first person to try. His hands were warm and smooth, and they healed a part of me that the skin grafts and surgeries hadn’t been able to touch.

Then there was the fire growing larger deep within my belly, spreading heat throughout my lower body like flames were ripping through me. I almost couldn’t stand it.

All the while Clay’s lips moved gently over mine, and I was trying to muster the courage to push him away.

I never found that gumption, because I didn’t really want to.

He finally broke the kiss, pulling away slowly, taking a nibble of my bottom lip along with him. I gasped, and his eyes widened.

“You can’t do that to me,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine.

“Do what?” My voice was barely there, and my hands gripped his hard biceps to keep myself steady.

“Gasp like that. I almost couldn’t let go.”

“What if I don’t want you to let go?”

I didn’t mean to say it; the words just fell out of my mouth like stones. I bit my bottom lip, but couldn’t take them back.

He pulled back a little more and brushed the hair aside that had once more fallen over my eye.

“Paige…this is crazy. The way you make me feel is…monumental. This has never happened to me before. What are you doing to me?”

Instead of answering, I leaned forward again and kissed him. Hungrily, this time, and more intense. There was so much I couldn’t tell him, but that wasn’t to say I couldn’t show him. I put all the feelings I could muster into that kiss; the attraction I was harboring toward him, the fact that I wanted him to break down the walls I had so carefully built all around me. The pain I had stewing inside of me at all times took a backseat, but I knew he could feel it in my kiss as strongly as he could feel my passion for him.

His arms went around my waist, and he lifted me up until I was straddling his lap. I kissed him all the more fiercely, tangling my hands in his hair and tugging softly.

He groaned against my lips, and my eyes flew open. I scrambled off his lap and took the seat next to him, breathing heavily.

He reached out and grabbed my hand so that I couldn’t escape too far, and turned to face me.