Out of The Box Regifted (18 page)

I crack up laughing. BAM! My plan worked, and Todd has been paid back.

He points his finger at me, shakes his head smiling, and sarcastically bellows, “Oh good one Olivia….very fucking funny.”

Ash stands there grinning jovially, totally exposed, while the look on Todd’s face tells me that he’s probably questioning why he ever came over here today. There is complete silence. Ash breaks the awkwardness and smirks, as he holds out his hand, “Liv, give me your robe.”

Mortified I grab the sash on my robe protectively, “Oh hell no.”

I look over at Todd standing there dumbfounded, and playfully slap his arm. “Shit Todd, what the heck are you doing here?”

He frowns down at me, “Gee Olivia; you don’t sound very happy to see me.” He shakes his head, “Ouch. I think my feelings are hurt.”

Todd and Ash are both looking at me; staring at me actually. They both laugh, knowing full well that I’m embarrassed. Obviously Ash could care less, that he’s fully flashing himself to the world.

Todd and I both look at Ash, who is standing there with all of his manhood on display. Todd is rocking back and forth, trying his best not to stare at his penis, and my eyes are fixed on his beautiful feet. I can’t seem to move my eyes much higher.

“
Alright already; will you two please quit gawking at me?” Ash larks.

Sheepishly I respond, as I nod my head towards Todd. “Okay, but I’m not the one gawking, he is.”

Rolling his eyes and grinning, Ash holds up a finger. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.” He calmly strolls towards the bedroom, presumably to grab a pair of boxers. While he’s gone, Todd takes full advantage of his absence to tease me.

“Damn Olivia! That guy has a fuckin dick that goes on forever. No wonder you always have a big smile on your face. Makes us all look bad, shit. What man wouldn’t wish for a package that big!”

My face is red and flushed. “Todd, you need to stop. This is not a conversation I want to have with you.”

He senses I’m uncomfortable and mortified. “Hey, I’m just fucking with you. But he does have a big dick. A huge dick, actually. Big dicks are good. I’d say you’re extremely lucky!”

I flip him off and he knocks my finger down.

“Girl, you know it’s good! How can something that big, not be good? Right?”

About that time, Ash, now in his boxers, confidently struts back into the kitchen.

“So, Mr. H, I’ll think I’ll just get the amp and head out. I’m really sorry about just barging in. I really thought you’d be at the condo.”

Ash opens the cupboard, pulls out 3 cups and sets them on the counter.

“No, why don’t you stay for coffee, Todd. It’s no biggie.”

Oh boy. I feel a Todd retort coming.

“No biggie? Oh I so don’t think so. That’s such a biggie. Jesus, I mean is that shit hereditary? Cause if it is, I know now why Em smiles all the time too.”

I can feel my face heating up; I’m sure by now its maroon with humiliation, and Todd knows he’s gotten the best of me.

“Babe, chill I was just kidding. I’ll stay for coffee, but only if you guys are finished. I don’t want to interrupt anything…”

I quickly respond, “I’d love for you to stay for coffee, Todd. Nothing needs finishing, I assure you.”

“Yeah, whatever. I can tell when I’m odd man out.”

“You’re not odd man out. Geez. Sit down and just shut it.”

He pulls one of the barstools out, plops down, and asks all about the condo.

“So, tell me about our new Houston home. I’m dying to hear all the details.”

“Todd, it’s fabulous and I can’t wait to close and start redecorating. Marcus, Lainey’s designer, is going to help me transform it into our paradise.”

“Damn that was fast. How many places did you look at?”

“Only 3. The last one was it. Ash loved it, and I just felt it was what we were looking for. It fits everything I imagined, and I can just picture everyone coming to visit.”

Ash shakes his head and concurs.

“Olivia and Marcus are going to turn it into a showplace. I just hope that French speaking charmer, keeps his talents to decorating the condo and not my Liv.”

“Uhh, do I detect a bit of antagonism? Todd smirks.

Ash responds. “No antagonism, just stating facts. He’s a pretty handsome guy, and barks a pretty damn good French accent. Just marking my territory.”

I respond matter of factly, “Ash, Marcus and I are friends. Just friends. He’s my decorator, for God’s sake, plus he’s half my age.”

“And decorating is what he’ll do well to remember, he’s hired to do. I don’t want a handsome Frenchman moving in on my gal.”

I’m stupefied by his words, “Ash, honestly how could you even think that? That’s totally absurd.”

“Well, I’m just saying that you’re mine, and I don’t want anyone moving in on you.”

Todd quickly diffuses the conversation, “Mr. H, ummm, I’m pretty sure after what I’ve just seen, that Olivia won’t let anyone move in on you. Shit I can’t even get that visual out of my mind, and it’s gonna haunt me all fucking day, thank you very much.”

“What, are you jealous, Todd?” Ash laughs, and asks.

“Well, fuck yea I’m jealous. What man wouldn’t be? Jesus. I thought I was gifted, but you put me and every other guy to fuckin shame. I think I’m gonna start calling you WMD or BD. That would be Weapons of Mass Destruction and Big Dick, in case you didn’t get it.”

Ash shakes his head, and cracks up laughing, “I get it, but I like Mr. H much better, I think.”

I step in and stop this conversation before it escalates further.

“Time out, boys. Y’all need to stop with this alpha male penis talk. It’s disgusting, and we are going to talk about something else please. No more talk about the male appendage. Come on, let’s have our coffee and talk about the band or something. Or better yet, Todd what’s the latest with Kyra?”

He rolls his eyes like a little kid, “Okay, I promise, geez.” He scoots his barstool closer to me. “Kyra’s great. We’ve been hanging out a lot together lately, and I kinda think we’re like boyfriend and girlfriend.” He scratches his head and laughs, “Wow that sounded stupid didn’t it? I mean boyfriend and girlfriend sounds like high school shit.”

I pinch his cheek, “No, that doesn’t sound stupid at all, you goof ball. I think it’s kinda cute. Thinking of taking it to the next level?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty much headed that way.” Mocking me, he pinches my cheek, “You sure are nosey this morning, aren't cha?”

He tells us that they’ve talked at length about being apart, their goals in life, family, and even children. “I want her and Em to come see us as often as they can, while we’re on the road, but I know her school comes first. Hell, she’s worked damn hard to get to where she’s at, and I certainly don’t want her to blow it on me. It’s weird, because Avenue is kind of at a crossroads. I mean, up to now, we’ve just played local gigs and now we get a chance to tour, and possibly make it big. What happens if we do? Shit we’d be gone all the damn time.”

Suddenly, the comprehension of that statement is evident.

“I haven’t given it much thought Todd, but you’re absolutely right. This could change everything for you guys. It is what you’ve all worked so hard for, though; isn’t everyone hoping to make it big?”

“Yeah sure we are. It’s just that, when you realize that this could be our make it or break it moment…”

Ash offers his words of wisdom, “Todd, if this is meant to be, you guys will make it. I have no doubt. You’ve all got the talent, and you just needed someone to have a little faith in you and take you under their wings. With the Devil Dogs, I think you can get the exposure you need. They’re hot right now and if you guys just work hard, I know you’ll be there soon.”

“Yeah, Mr. H I think you’re right. We were pretty much in the right place at the right time, with that deal. I just hope to hell it all works out. Look, I gotta get the amp and head out. Tommy’s probably wondering where the hell I am. I’ll catch up with you guys later.” He bends down to grab his keys, shakes his head, and smirks, “What a fuckin morning. Jesus!”

Ash follows him upstairs, and helps him bring the amp down. I watch him helping Todd load the amp in the van, in nothing but his boxer shorts, and I have to laugh.

I playfully pat his butt, as we walk inside, “Talk about getting caught with your pants down, Mr. Harper.”

He cackles, “Yeah, how bout that?”

“That was quite the show. Guess I didn’t know how impressive the Giant would be to other people. I’m pretty partial to him, you know.” I bite my lip and wink.

***

That night when I get home from work, I drop my purse and keys on the entry table. I hear Ash in his office, talking on the phone. I discreetly stand outside eavesdropping, hoping he doesn’t see me.

“Yes, if we could leave on the twelfth, that would be perfect.” He props his feet up on his desk and scoots the chair in. “I’m really not sure if she does. Mine’s current. I’ll have to ask her, when she gets home. Yes, business class and we’d like to return on the 20th.”

He’s scribbling on a notepad. “Very good. You work your magic, and I guess we’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll email you some things I’d like for us to do, and thanks Mary Beth. I appreciate it.” He takes his glasses off, and is startled to hear me walk in. I put my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. “Hey handsome. Who were you talking to?”

He looks up at me, grinning, “Well Miss Nosey, if you must know, I was talking to my travel agent about my birthday trip. I originally thought about going to the Caribbean or Costa Rica, but then I had a better idea.” He scoots his chair back and pulls me into his lap. “Ever been to Paris?”

My eyes light up with excitement. “Paris? Seriously? No I’ve never even been out of the United States.”

“Would you like to go?”

I scream, “Of course I’d
love
to go! How long would we be gone?”

He looks at his calendar, “Ten to fourteen days, is what I was thinking. I’ve got my travel agent checking on flights for us.”

“Two weeks? Gosh, I’ll have to see if I can be gone that long from work. We’ve been short-handed, and I don’t want to put Sarah in a bind without notice.”

He cocks his head, and confidently assures me, “Sarah won’t mind, trust me.”

“
That sounds wonderful. I’m so excited. But I don’t have a passport.”

“I wondered about that, but it’s no big deal. We can get you one. So you’d like to do it?”

I clap my hands, and then hug his neck. “I’d love to go!”

“You’re gonna love it, Liv. I can’t wait to show you Paris. It’s so beautiful and romantic.”

“Tell me what you’ve got planned!”

He shakes his finger at me, laughing, “Oh no Sunshine, I’m not spilling
my
secrets. You’ll just have to wait and see. I’ve got several surprises brewing, all of which you’ll love.”

Just before we turn in for the night, my phone rings. I don’t recognize the number, so I reluctantly answer. “Hello?”

An emotional voice speaks, “Olivia? It’s Kathleen.” Her voice cracks. Kathleen is Alan’s older sister, who I haven’t talked to since before the divorce. Ash asks who it is, and I mouth the words Alan’s sister.

“Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here Kathleen. You sound upset...is everything okay?” Ash looks at me with a puzzled look, and I shrug my shoulders.

She sniffles into the phone, “Look, I’m so sorry to bother you, but there’s been a horrible accident, Liv. Alan’s in the hospital. Kelly and the baby…” She’s sobbing uncontrollably.

I gasp and sit down. “Oh my God Kathleen, Kelly and the baby what?” I’m dumbfounded and numb.

“Kelly and the baby are dead.”

“Oh no!” I gasp. “Is Alan alright?” I jump up and start to walk around aimlessly, as she goes into details.

“He’s out of intensive care, and he was actually very lucky. The wreck happened on Monday. They were on their way to Nashville to see her folks, when the driver of an eighteen-wheeler fell asleep at the wheel and hit them head on. It was horrible, Olivia. Kelly and the baby were killed instantly. Kelly was decapi…” She breaks down again.

I’m sobbing, as I think of how tragic this is. What a horrible way to die. Kathleen regains her composure and sighs, “I’ve been here since Monday night, but I can only stay till Friday, because I’ve got a business trip. The funeral’s on Saturday and I know this is a lot to ask in light of what’s happened, but could you come for it?”