Out of the Dark (29 page)

“Fine.” His grip on me tightens. “You can call him from the office.”

He climbs the stairs to the pitch-black third floor and sets me down in front of the desk.

I grope for the phone.

He leaves and returns with a candle and matches. He lights the candle and sets it at our feet, but it’s useless in the darkness of Stefan’s office.

As I dial the phone, Enzo begins to undress me.

I know what he’s feeling—he’s angry, he’s grieving, and he wants to feel something else. I want to make him feel it.

One ring.

My shoes are gone.

Two rings.

My shirt.

Three rings.

My pants, and my bra.

Four rings.

He begins to kiss the back of my neck, and I can feel the warmth of his bare chest as he grasps my bare breasts.

I hang up the phone, barely remembering who I was calling. “There’s no answer.”

Enzo lifts me onto the desk. His kisses me everywhere.

Even though it’s dark, he knows my body. I’m already sweating at his expert touch.

His movements are rapid. At any moment, we could see headlights in the driveway.

I feel his flesh press into mine in the darkness, and I’m home.

I relish these immoral delights. I’ve given up on the person I once was. I embrace the darkness now because in the dark, I become a stranger. Once an expert at following rules and expectations, I’m contradicting everything—naked with his muscular body hovering above me. When he’s gone, I’ll feel terrible . . . but I’ll want more. Right now in this moment, with him so close, I’m not sorry. Living in the shadow of illicit lust, I submit to my desire for him.

I don’t hold back, and neither does he. I should be quiet, but I’m not. I should know better, but instead, I beg him for more. I sit on the edge of the oak desk and face him. Piles of papers that were valuable to someone are now soaked in my sweat. The evidence of what we’ve done is all over me.

I’m tired of hiding and being afraid. Sick of the guilt, I want to leave clues. I want Enzo to leave his mark. This man who calls to my soul. My equal. My love.

Although I can barely see him in the dim light, I hear his fast and even breaths.

When we hide like this, together in secret, he always keeps his voice down. His skillful movements are muffled from practice. He goes hard and deep. Steady, with his eyes locked on mine, the physical exertion it takes for him to remain restrained takes its toll, and a drop of his sweat threatens to fall from his whisker-covered chin.

I move closer and lick it off.

He rolls his lips and tongue against mine, and I savor the way he tastes. We only have a few more minutes and he knows it.

He moans and glides his hands over me, making memories. “I’ll think about you tonight, when I’m alone. I’ll think about this,” he whispers against my lips in his gritty voice, and his rough fingertips tickle my ribs as they slide over my skin.

The desk rattles as he becomes more forceful with my body. It’s a dangerous sound, but I’m so close and he’s so close . . . our need for release overtakes our need to conceal this tryst. We only have this brief time to make our forbidden dreams of each other come true.

I place the palm of one hand on the desk and the other around his neck in an effort to lift myself up, to try to stay quiet, and to help him go as deep as he can.

“Don’t stop.”

His eyes flash to mine.
 

“Don’t stop. Please . . .”

He closes his eyes. “Fuck, fuck, fuck . . .” His words match the speed of his thrusts and his usual effort to be gentle is gone. The desk bangs into the wall and his body slams against mine. His lips are at my ear. “Cari, say it.”

“I love you.”

“Again.” He pulls me into him, pins my body to his.

I wrap my legs around his waist and say the words we both love to hear. “Enzo, I love you.”

It’s electric when we’re together like this.

Everything I have to hold back and hold in is forgotten as he pulses against my burning, aching body. My flesh vibrates against his stuttering movements, and he braces himself by grabbing my hair. I feel his huge hands and fingers brush against my tingling scalp. The shivering sensation contrasts with the burn I feel as he invades my innermost places. The way he handles me is so sexy, and I can’t help but put words to what my body is screaming. “Yes, yes, yes. . .”

My eyes cloud over, and my whole being shakes. Waves of heat and chills flash over me.

In this moment, nothing else matters. I’m evil, and he’s evil and neither of us care. It’s flesh and heat and sweet release. This is how it should always be. Nothing else matters.

He slows but doesn’t stop, letting his pleasure roll through him and savoring it like a last meal.

These stolen moments are what we both live for now. Our black-and-white lives are streaked with these rare bursts of color. The volume has been turned down on everything else. We can’t predict when we’ll be able to do this again.

His thumb brushes my cheek and I want to say something, but I have no words for what I feel.

Then there’s a noise—an intrusive, startling sound that shouldn’t be there.

“Carina? Is that you? Why is this door locked? What are you doing?” The familiar booming voice on the other side of the thick door is like thunder, and I shudder.

In Enzo’s eyes, I see the inevitable terror I expected, but I also see glimmer of relief, and that, I did
not
expect.

I’m frozen.

Even though we both knew this day would come, we have no idea what to do.

We have met our fate. There’s no way to escape. There’s no choice but to face him.

A man that I fear.

My fiancé.

Stefan.

Enzo sets me down.

“Carina? I know I heard your voice. What’s going on in there? Open this fucking door!”

I’ve heard that voice before. He’s enraged, and there’s nowhere for us to hide.

This is it
.

I’m half-dressed when Enzo flings open the door, and the pale light from the candle is enough to illuminate this scene for Stefan.

The disgust and horror I see on his face makes me tremble.

He’s stunned. He looks at a shirtless Enzo then at me and back again. He says nothing but turns away, and I know where he’s headed.

He’s going to get his gun
.

Chapter Twenty-One

“Are you crazy? Why did you open the door?” I fumble as I finish dressing in the dark.

Enzo’s still smiling as he does the same. “Because I’m not afraid. Don’t you see, Cari? It’s over now. He knows. No more hiding.”

I pull on my shoe. “You’re wrong about that, Enzo. It’s just beginning.”

He grabs my shoulders and looks into my eyes. With just a look, no words, he says everything. He loves me. He wants me. We’re going to be okay. Happy. He says all those things and more with nothing more than that look, and then he kisses me. His kiss takes me into the farthest depths of my heart and love for him. He kisses me, and I’m so grateful he made his way into my arms and into my life.

We’re a team.

Our bodies press against each other. His sweet lips, his soft skin.

The horrible thought that this could be our last kiss takes shape in my mind, and I smash it and bury it.

“We have to leave right now.” He presses his forehead to mine. “Meet me at the oak tree in the vineyard where we kissed for the first time.” He turns to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“There’s something I need to do. Go straight to the tree, and I’ll meet you there.”

“You’re not going after Stefan, are you?”

“No,” he answers.

Good. Because I am.

I know Stefan is arming himself. His love for Enzo and me will be overshadowed by the horrifying disrespect he’s been shown, but maybe, just maybe, I can reason with him.

Once Enzo’s gone, I creep down the stairs. There are still no lights, so the movements I make are from memory. My heart pounds a deafening drumbeat in my head. My stomach’s on fire and my mouth is dry.

If I want to be with Enzo forever, I need to be brave and face Stefan. I need to tell him I’m in love with Enzo.

I turn the doorknob slowly so it won’t make a sound. I hold my breath and stand to the side as I nudge it open. Maybe if he’s armed, I won’t be injured by whatever weapon he has.

I look across the dark room toward the closet.

I look for him in the shadows.

I find him seated on the bed.

“I knew it. I knew it and I denied it. I didn’t want to believe it, but somewhere inside me, I knew what you two were doing.” He stands up, keeping his back to me, and looks out the window, a gun dangling at his side.

I begin to tremble, but the desire to fight for the love I have with Enzo overtakes my fear. “Stefan, I’m not in love with you. I’m leaving you.”

He laughs. “Leaving me?” He turns around and points the gun at my head. “
This
is the only way you’ll leave me.”

I feel my legs weaken, and I struggle to remain standing as he continues to aim the pistol at me, but then he drops his hand to his side.

“I’m involved in some very bad things, Carina, but I’m trying to leave that life behind me. I wanted to devote myself to you and to our happiness. I wanted to keep this from falling apart . . . but it fell apart anyway. It was a magnificent illusion and it’s one that I must grieve for. I loved you, Carina. I tried to keep this alive, and I failed.” His voice cracks.

Tears begin to fall from my eyes.

He’s the same man, but I’m not the same woman
.

I remember the day I met him and how his confidence enraptured me. He looks so different to me now. I remember the way he made me feel. His intoxicating charms. His sweet way with me, and the passion we felt for one another. The memories rush past me, brushing against me like strangers on a crowded street. I’m lost in them.
 

I’m so distracted I don’t notice Stefan’s gaze is now on the gun in his hand until it’s too late.

“How do you want this to end, Carina?”

“I don’t want you to hurt him.”

“Who says I want to hurt him?” he asks, as if he would never dream of such a thing.

Like he hasn’t already murdered
.

“I know what you’re capable of, Stefan. I know you’ve lied to me about what you do. You’re in the mob. I know what you did to Fabrizio.”

“You
think
you know. Fabrizio decided his own fate. He may as well have committed suicide.” His voice is void of emotion. “That’s what you’re doing now.” He raises the gun again.

I close my eyes, hoping that if I don’t see it, it won’t hurt. It will be quick. I say a final prayer that once I’m dead he will leave Enzo alone.

Silent seconds drag by and nothing.

I dare to open my eyes and find he’s sitting on the bed again.

“I can’t do it. I can’t end your life, but there isn’t a place in the world you can go where I won’t find you.”

It’s a last lingering threat, but he’s letting me go.

A head start
.

I take off my ring and drop it to the floor before turning and running down the dark stairs and through the living room. Racing for the front door. Racing to meet Enzo. I’m almost there. The doorknob glints in the candlelight but I hear someone shout behind me.

“Carina, wait!”

I turn to see Gemma holding a briefcase.

“I was in love once, too. It didn’t work out for me. The odds are against you, but I hope it works out for you and Enzo.” She hands me the case.

My eyes bounce back and forth between her and the door.

“Good luck.”

“Thank you.” I hug her and run for the door.

The cold hits me, and I run faster than I thought I could.

It’s windy and snowflakes swirl through the sky. The frosty air invades my lungs with a bite. There’s a break in the dark clouds on the horizon and moonlight is beginning to shine through.

I run through the yard, through the snow, to the vineyard. When I reach the oak tree, it won’t just be me running, it will be
us
.

Enzo and I—together
.

I round the bend and almost slip as I climb the hill to the tree. The briefcase I’m carrying makes my movements awkward.

Fear begins to trickle down my spine when I don’t see Enzo there waiting.

I reach the tree, gasping for air.

He’s not here
.

I want to cry out, to scream his name.

Maybe he got caught up. I’ll just wait. He’ll be here.

A thin strip of moonlight beams through the clouds. Faint light reflects on the last of the receding storm clouds.

Still, Enzo’s doesn’t come. I’m out here in the cold alone. I wait, expecting to hear his feet pounding toward me through the snow any minute, but he doesn’t come.