Out of the Storm (21 page)

Kent had been standing off to the side warming up his arm and had timed his practice lashes with Kyle’s swats so Tobi hadn’t been alarmed by the sound of the single-tailed whip cracking.  Kyle set the paddle aside and moved over to stand in front of Tobi.  He took her tear-stained cheeks in his hands and pushed the blindfold up so he could look into her eyes and more accurately gauge her responses.  His body was large enough that he was blocking her view of Kent and the crowd that was now almost ready to cheer at the thought of Tobi being whipped for their viewing pleasure.  Kyle was literally almost physically ill at the thought of what they were about to do.  He hoped like hell Kent pulled the lashes because he wasn’t sure Tobi was ready for that level of pain.  When he’d run his fingers through her sex he’d found she wasn’t wet at all and that concerned him because it indicated that her body was only processing the sensations as pain and even though it was supposed to be a punishment, he had hoped to give her a release before they finished the scene. 

“Kitten, do you want to use your safe word?”  Kyle watched as she blinked several times as if she were trying to process his words, but he knew from experience she wasn’t anywhere close to subspace.  “Tobi?  Did you hear the question?” 

“Yes, I heard the question, Sir.  But, aren’t you finished?  Oh God, is there more?”  The bleak tone of her voice tore at his heart and he nearly called off the scene at that point.  The expression on his face must have alerted Kent there was a problem because he dropped the whip and was at her side in an instant. 

Kyle looked at her for long seconds before answering, “No, that wasn’t all.  You are supposed to get three lashes with the single tail whip but I’m not sure you can take that now.” 

She started shaking from her core and suddenly her entire body was being racked by nearly silent sobs.  He could barely make out the words she was whispering, “No, no, I can’t do this again.  I don’t ever want to do this again.  It’s just like it always was, a big piece of wood hitting me over and over and over.  Please just get it over with now because I won’t ever walk in this room again without remembering what has happened here tonight.”  Tobi’s eyes were glazed, her pupils constricted and their movements frantic in a way Kyle had never seen before.  He knew her father had used a lot of corporal punishment after her mother had died, but he hadn’t known he’d used a wooden paddle. Christ, how irresponsible could they have been?  They hadn’t even discussed the punishment with her in advance and that might have given them a heads up to the trip wire they’d just stumbled into. 

Kyle was quickly unbuckling her and when he looked up at Kent, he simply flashed the sign for “doc” and watched his brother pivot and move quickly off the stage.  By the time Kyle had finished unbuckling Tobi, Regi was already at his side holding open one of the club’s soft blankets.  He nodded his thanks and wrapped it around Tobi just as she collapsed into his arms.  Kyle was worried, and starting to become increasingly alarmed because Tobi’s eyes were wide open but he knew she wasn’t seeing a thing, and her total silence was absolutely haunting.  After her initial sobbing and words, it seemed like she had just completely shut down emotionally.  He fought back the anger he felt at his own arrogance and he wished like hell he’d listened to his gut feelings earlier and called this whole cluster fuck off. 

Chapter Eighteen

Kent sat in the small chair he positioned in the shadows of the master suite’s bedroom and just watched Tobi as she slept alone in the enormous bed they’d shared with her so many times over the past week.  After they’d rubbed anesthetic cream into her battered behind, he and Kyle settled her in the bed they’d hoped to share with her for the rest of their lives.  Right now, he didn’t hold out much hope they were going to be granted that opportunity.  He and Kyle were both terrified they’d broken something in her during their scene last night and neither of them was convinced they hadn’t damaged a part of her soul they would never be able to heal.  How had they been so presumptuous?  How had they missed all the signs?  How had they ignored all their own teaching and failed to ask questions that were critical, particularly when they had already known bits and pieces of her background? How had they managed to put their own reputations as Doms and the owners of the club above the needs of the woman they had both fallen in love with?

He was grateful that both Brian Bennett and Kirk Evans had both still been in the club and had come up to the apartment to evaluate Tobi’s condition.  She had been virtually catatonic and both physicians had agreed that she’d had some kind of psychotic break and hadn’t hesitated to sedate her.  Kyle had called Jax to see if Gracie would answer a few questions about Tobi’s background, and when he had relayed what had happened all Kyle heard was Jax’s cursing before he snapped “on our way” and disconnected the phone.  Kent had gone down to meet them and Gracie had practically crawled up his ass during the short ride upstairs in the small elevator.  Damn, Jax and Micah were going to have to be careful with that one or she might end up turning the tables on them. 

Kyle had been reluctant to leave Tobi’s side, but Brian agreed to sit with her while the rest of them talked quietly in the kitchen.  Gracie’s voice was raspy and strained from her injuries, but she managed to explain the only reason she knew the details of Tobi’s childhood was the two of them had shared a couple of bottles of cheap wine one night, and Tobi had finally opened up.  Gracie told them Tobi had recounted how her dad had often used her pantyhose to tie her to large nails in the wall and then he would beat her with a wide piece of unfinished wood until he ran out of steam or she passed out.  By the time Gracie had finished she’d been crying for her friend and weaving on her feet.  Jax had explained how they had given her painkillers earlier as he’d picked her up and cuddled her against his chest before handing her off to Micah. 

“Baby, you need to rest.”  Micah’s words were soft and Kent had watched as the two men cared for Gracie and he hoped like hell they learned from the mistakes he and Kyle had made with Tobi.  Micah turned to him and said, “We’re going to take her back to our cabin so we can make sure she rests.  I’m worried about her staying alone after she’s taken the pain meds.  Obviously they are hitting her pretty hard.”  Kent and Kyle both thanked Gracie for her help and kissed her on the forehead before bidding their friends good night before returning to Tobi. 

Kirk had listened to Gracie’s story and he’d encouraged them to remember how strong Tobi must be to have survived so much trauma.  “Don’t give up on what you want this relationship to be.  Tobi is smart and obviously very resilient.  Give her time to heal, but don’t let her forget how important she is to you both.”  After they’d gone back in the bedroom to check on her, both Brian and Kirk assured them that she would sleep for several more hours.  They promised to return later the next morning with more meds and to check on Tobi after she was awake.   

Before the two men left, Brian gripped his arm and spoke quietly, “This doesn’t have to break her you know.  It may force her to confront some issues from her past that she’d rather leave buried, but she could well end up stronger in the end as a result of this.  Don’t assume the worst.  The best healing balms in the world are compassion and patience.”  Kent had nodded his understanding and watched as their friends made their way out of the bedroom.  Kent really hoped that Regi gave the two doctors a chance because he truly believed they were exactly what their resident tigress needed. 

Settling back into his chair, Kent knew that watching Tobi sleep wasn’t going to solve the problem of what they should do next, but he couldn’t seem take his eyes off her.  He felt his brother stir beside him and noticed that his phone lit up.  When he glanced at Kyle’s screen he couldn’t help but cringe when he saw their mom’s name.  Kyle cursed softly and quickly made his way out of the room to take the call.  Kent had actually considered calling their parents earlier, but the simple truth was he didn’t know how on earth he could explain how they’d made such a series of horrible decisions. 

Kent knew by the expression on Kyle’s face when he returned to the room the conversation hadn’t gone well.  Running his hand over his face in frustration, he wondered what their mom was going to do because it was safe to assume she wasn’t going to sit back and wait for them to fix things.  For some reason she had taken a serious shine to Tobi from the moment they had met.  Their mom had dropped by a couple of afternoons during the past week to visit and the two of them had enjoyed tea up on the rooftop patio.  Both Kyle and Kent knew their mother had an amazing track record when it came to seeing into the hearts of those around her, and she was determined to have Tobi as a daughter-in-law.  That had certainly been his and Kyle’s plan as well—until…  He wasn’t even going to think about that at the moment.  Right now he just wanted to watch the sleeping angel in their bed and hope that his own guardian spirit was willing to step in once again and pull his bumbling ass out of the fire. 

****

Kyle wasn’t sure he’d ever heard his mother as angry as she had just been on the phone.  Of all the nonsense he and Kent had gotten themselves into over the years, he had never heard her sound as disappointed in them as she had when he’d finally calmed her down enough to talk with her for a few minutes.  And as much as he hated the fact she was mad as a wet hen, it had been his dad Dean’s disappointment that had hurt the most.  Dad Dell was passionate and full of fire like their mom, so fiery reactions weren’t all that uncommon from them.  But the family patriarch, Dean West, was the logical, cool head who always prevailed in the midst of any storm.  To hear the censure in their dad’s voice as he pointed out each and every wrong decision he and Kent had made had cut Kyle to the quick. 

Running his hand through his hair, he pulled a chair up alongside Kent and collapsed into it.  Never taking his eyes off Tobi, he spoke softly, “Well that was fun. 
Christ
.  Thanks a lot for all your support by the way.  Asshole.”  Kent chuckled quietly but it sounded empty even to his own ears. 

“Tell me.”  Kent knew they couldn’t hope to get off without some kind of intervention on their mom’s part.  He just hoped it didn’t happen too soon, he was beyond exhausted but knew his mind wasn’t going to shut down enough to sleep for hours yet.

“She’ll be here in a few hours.  To say that mom and dad Dell are bouncing off the walls is an understatement.  Even dad Dean is pissed as hell.”  Kyle knew Kent would hear his not so thinly disguised guilt and sadness because it was probably a reflection of his own feelings.  “Hearing him tell me how disappointed he is in the both of us was the second lowest moment of my life.  I hope like hell that nothing ever makes me feel the gut-wrenching emptiness that I felt when Tobi looked into my eyes and there was nothing there.  Seeing her beautiful green eyes vacant felt like someone had gutted me.  I could have lived with losing her—maybe.  But knowing we’d damaged her fragile soul is destroying me.”  Kyle felt nothing but desolation as he remembered that moment.   

Kyle hadn’t taken his eyes off Tobi while he’d been speaking to Kent, and he was surprised to see her hand reach out toward them and open with her palm up.  Looking at Kent, he raised his brow in question.  They stood and moved to the edge of the bed and sat carefully so they were both angled toward her.  When Kyle took her small hand into his own she closed his fingers in her hold and pulled his hand to her chest and sighed.  He knew it wasn’t a huge gesture, but he hoped like hell it was the sign he’d been praying for.  She hadn’t opened her eyes but her whispered “please stay” was music to his ears. 

He moved so he was laying alongside her on top of the quilt they’d covered her with as Kent moved around the bed and snuggled up against her back so she was spooned in between them.  Leaning forward, Kyle pressed his lips against her forehead and held them there for long moments before pulling back.  “Always,” was all he could manage to speak around the lump that had formed in his throat. 

Chapter Nineteen

It had been three days since the disaster in the club’s main room and Kent and Kyle were still coddling her as if she was an invalid.  They hadn’t even let her step foot out of their apartment and Tobi had been perilously close to going stark raving mad.  So when Lilly West suggested a shopping trip to Austin, she’d leapt at the chance for some fresh air. Lilly had been the one point of calm in the storm that had surrounded Tobi the past three days.  Kent and Kyle had been supportive and attentive in every way.  But as Doms their perspective was entirely different. 

She and Lilly had spent a lot of time talking about everything that had happened.  Lilly had answered every question Tobi had asked her with an openness that surprised and impressed Tobi.  She had even answered some questions Tobi had been too embarrassed to ask, Lilly had just laughed when Tobi had blushed at the detailed information.  Lilly had been understanding about Tobi’s fears of any impact play involving wood assured her there were still many options for BDSM play.   

“Did you have anything special in mind to buy today, Tobi?”  Lilly’s question brought Tobi’s attention back to the fact they were just minutes from the first exits that would lead into Austin’s various shopping areas. 

“No, not really.  I don’t actually have any money to spend, well not much anyway.  I have only gotten paid once so far and I put most of that toward catching up my student loans.  I fell pretty far behind while I was only working part-time.”  Tobi had fallen so far behind she hadn’t thought she could ever catch up.  And sure, she hated the effect it was going to have on her credit rating, but mostly she just hated not meeting her obligations.  She mentally winced when she thought about what Richard was going to say when he got wind of it. 

When Kyle and Kent first presented her with their salary offer she had been completely stunned.  It hadn’t taken her long to mentally calculate how quickly she could wipe out the entire debt.  It had been even sweeter when she considered she had minimal living expenses since she was living in the smallest of their guesthouses.  She had barely resisted her urge to dance around their office naked she’d been so overjoyed with their offer. Laughing to herself at the realization how they would have loved that, she remembered hearing her mama use that expression when she’d been just a little girl.  She hadn’t thought about that saying in a long time and wondered if her mom hadn’t just touched her soul for that particular memory to pop up.