Out of Turn (22 page)

“And you think you can tell the difference?”

The way Kade had touched me, made love to me, told me he loved me—all of it went through my mind. “Yes,” I replied with absolute certainty.

Kade’s eyes studied mine before he at last looked back toward the still-speaking professor. “You’re delusional,” he muttered.

I hid a smile at his disgruntlement. I didn’t care what he persisted in believing about himself, I just wanted to make sure he knew I refused to think that of him.

Kade refrained from making any further comments on the course material and soon we were heading back to his car. He slipped his sunglasses on and I caught myself taking way too many covert glances at him as we walked.

It was so strange—the intimacy we’d shared made me want to walk closer to him, touch his arm or shoulder, but I couldn’t. It started to hurt when I thought about it too much, so I made a conscious effort to push the memory aside, forcing myself to put a little more space between us and to stop looking at him. As far as he knew, yes, we’d had a brief interlude in Vegas, but he’d decided to end things between us permanently, even our friendship.

I had to remember that part and forget the rest.

He held the car door for me and I slid inside. When he got in the driver’s side, I said, “I need to go by the bridal shop. My fitting for Clarice’s wedding is today.”

He winced as though I’d asked him to donate a kidney. “How long will that take?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe an hour? You can drop me off and come back if you want.”

“Like that’s not a recipe for disaster,” he quipped.

“So how long are you going to be on bodyguard duty?” How much longer did I have with him before he was gone for good?

“Until there’s no longer a threat,” he replied. “I’ll check around, see if there’s a contract out on you.”

“Contract?” I squeaked. That sounded very…
Godfather
. It wasn’t like I was a mob boss or something.

Kade’s mouth twitched into a sly smile. “Relax. If there is, I’ll find out about it.”

And I believed him. I knew, without a doubt, that Kade would find a way to keep me safe.

I gave him directions to the little bridal boutique where Clarice had bought her gown and ordered the bridesmaid dresses. He parked and followed me to the door.

I stiffened my spine and took a deep breath before entering the store. I hadn’t gotten a chance to shop for my wedding gown before Blane had broken the engagement. In retrospect, I was glad. A nonrefundable deposit would have been wasted if I’d found the dress I wanted, not to mention that I hadn’t particularly wanted to have the image of my wedding gown in my head when it turned out I wasn’t getting married.

The boutique wasn’t busy this afternoon. Kade and I were the only customers, and I gave the saleslady my name and Clarice’s. She went in the back to get the dress and seamstress.

Kade looked decidedly uncomfortable, and I couldn’t help a little smile. He was most certainly out of his element, surrounded by mannequins dressed in billowing clouds of white satin and lace. The boutique had plush rose-colored carpet and flower arrangements advertising the florist next door were displayed throughout the shop, perfuming the air with their delicate scent.

“You really don’t have to stay,” I offered again, taking pity on him.

He was looking around, eyeing the wedding gowns as though they were going to gang up and attack him, and his gaze swung to meet mine. He cleared this throat. “I go where you go,” he said simply.

I gave a little sigh, then the saleslady returned and we followed her to the dressing rooms. Kade perched carefully on a delicate-looking chair upholstered in pink velvet. I hid a grin and disappeared into a changing room to try on the dress.

Clarice had great taste and I loved the dress she’d chosen. It was strapless, the hem ending a couple of inches above my knees, and was the palest of pinks. A delicate ruffle ran from the neckline to the hem on one side, and a filmy length of sheer black organza tied around my waist and hung down the other. It was beautiful and very feminine.

I walked out to stand on the dais in front of a three-way mirror so the seamstress could check the alterations she’d made. I’d had to go up a size to accommodate my chest, which had made the rest of the dress too big. Now it fit perfectly and the seamstress agreed. She and I had a
quick discussion about when they would steam the dress for pickup, then she was called to the front of the store.

I turned toward Kade. “So?” I prompted. “What do you think?” He hadn’t said anything or even seemed to move much during my discussion with the seamstress, though I’d felt his eyes on me.

“It looks expensive,” he said.

Not the words I’d been hoping to hear. I shrugged, hiding my disappointment. I wasn’t searching for compliments, but a girl liked to hear she looked nice in a dress like this.

“It was, but they have a payment plan here, so…” I turned back to the mirror, admiring the dress. I thought it suited me and, thankfully, I had a tan. If it had been a winter wedding, the color would have washed me out completely. Idly, I twisted my hair into a makeshift updo, turning my face this way and that to see if my hair should be up or down for the wedding. Clarice had said she didn’t have a preference.

In the mirror’s reflection, I saw Kade stand. His expression was somewhat pained and I wondered if he’d had enough and was going to tell me he’d wait outside. To my surprise, he approached, not stopping until he stood behind me on the dais. His hands moved to rest gently on my shoulders, the touch sparking underneath my skin like electricity. I dropped my hair, my arms falling to my sides.

“What I meant to say,” he said in my ear, “is that you’re beautiful, no matter what you’re wearing, and that dress makes me wish I had another man’s soul.”

My eyes widened as I stared in the mirror, our gazes locked. His thumbs brushed my skin as he held me, and my breath caught.

Kade bowed his head, his eyes closing as he pressed his lips to my bare shoulder. My pulse quickened as I watched our reflection, the contrast of Kade all in black stark against my strawberry-blonde hair and fair skin. He was a good head taller than me, maybe more, and broader. I ached to ease into him and have his arms envelop me, but I stayed rooted to the spot.

He brushed my hair to the side, his mouth trailing a heated path toward my neck, and my eyes slipped shut. I tilted my head to give him better access, reaching up to push my fingers into his hair. A shiver ran across my skin under his touch.

“Ahem.”

The sound of someone clearing her throat shattered the spell and I jumped, startled. In the mirror, I could see the seamstress standing behind us, an indulgent smile on her face.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry for interrupting, but are you pleased with the alterations?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” I stammered, moving away from Kade.
And the Excellence in Bad Timing Award goes to
…

Kade stepped off the dais. “I’ll wait outside,” he said, his expression unreadable. Before I could protest, he was gone. I stared after him in dismay.

“Don’t worry,” the seamstress said with a twinkle in her eye as she untied the fabric from around my waist and started the zipper for me. “He’s probably just embarrassed. I’m sure you’ll get him to the altar soon. The way he looked at you, I’m guessing before the year is out.”

I didn’t bother correcting her that, first of all, Kade was impossible to embarrass and, second, he had absolutely no plans to marry me.

When I emerged from the boutique, Kade was leaning against his Mercedes, his ankles crossed and hands casually tucked into the back pockets of his jeans. Shades once again shielded his eyes. I stopped in front of him.

“Any other errands?” he asked, pushing himself off the car and digging the keys out of his pocket.

So we weren’t going to talk about what had happened. Again. I got that he’d changed his mind, that the offer to be with him had been rescinded, but I couldn’t take this. It was bad enough to carry around the secret of what had really happened between us in Vegas, I couldn’t handle his two-steps-forward, three-steps-back behavior any longer.

“You’ve got to stop, Kade,” I said.

He frowned. “Stop what?”

My eyes stung behind my sunglasses but my temper was in my voice. “Stop kissing me. Stop touching me. In short, stop leading me on when your only intention is to leave—” I choked back the
me
that wanted to end that sentence.

“I’m surprised you noticed,” Kade shot back with unusual venom. “You think I didn’t see what was going on last night? That I don’t know you’re going to go back to Blane? It’s just a matter of time.”

“Isn’t that what you want?” I asked, exasperated.

“It’s for the best,” he said, his voice cold. He turned away from me to open the car door.

Fury and hurt hit in equal measure and I reached out and grabbed a fistful of his T-shirt. He stopped and glanced down at me.

“I’m so
sick
of everyone thinking they know what’s best for me,” I fumed. “And I’m sick of you playing this game with me. How dare you? You’ve been throwing me at Blane one second and the next you’re kissing me or telling me you—”

I stopped. I’d been about to blurt out that he’d said he loved me. That would be a disaster. I pressed my lips tightly closed.

“Telling you I what?” Kade asked, his tone dangerous. Of course he’d latch on to the one thing I wished he hadn’t heard.

“Nothing,” I said quickly with a wave of my hand. “Forget it. My point is I can’t do this anymore! I don’t know what to think, or feel, or who to trust. And every time you do or say something that makes me think you feel more for me, you take it back!” Exasperated, I turned away, trying to regain my composure. I swiped angrily at my wet cheeks and when Kade didn’t say anything else, I rounded the car and got in.

Kade got in the car after me, slamming his door so hard I jumped. He started the engine, jabbing his finger at the button, while the silence between us grew thick and oppressive. He put the car into gear but then hesitated before slamming it back into park.

I looked at him. Was he going to talk to me? But he just stared straight ahead, his jaw locked tight. I squirmed nervously, plucking imaginary lint from my skirt and smoothing the fabric down my thighs.

“Stop fidgeting,” he said.

I stilled, glancing uneasily his way, but he still stared out the windshield, his hands clenched in fists on the steering wheel.

“You’re not the only one who can’t do this anymore,” he finally said, turning to look at me.

I swallowed, ignoring the knot of nausea in my stomach his statement had produced. “What do you want from me, Kade?” I asked.

He shrugged and gave a long sigh, his gaze returning to the windshield. “I don’t know. I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to worry about money anymore. I want you to be safe. I want your dreams to come true.”

It took me a moment before I could speak. “I want the same for you.”

Kade reached over and took my hand, threading our fingers together and giving it a squeeze. He didn’t say anything more, just pulled out into traffic.

I cleared my throat. “Can you run me by my apartment, please?” I asked. “I need to get my mail and work uniform.” And pay some overdue bills so they wouldn’t shut off my water.

A short while later, Kade was parking in the lot. I got out and so did he.

“You can wait here if you want,” I said. “I won’t be long.”

Kade shook his head. “I’ll come with.”

He followed me up the stairs and I tried not to think about his presence behind me as I unlocked my door. I twisted the knob.

Kade’s hand suddenly caught my wrist in a painful grasp. “No—!”

But it was too late.

C
HAPTER
N
INE

I
was jerked hard to my right and shoved to the ground. Kade fell on top of me a split second before the explosion.

A wave of heat washed over me as terror licked my veins. My hearing was muffled, the explosion still ringing in my head, and Kade was a dead weight holding me down.

Oh God.

“Kade!” I struggled to move, the concrete biting into my hands and bare legs. “Kade!” He didn’t move and didn’t respond in any way. I started to panic. He’d been protecting me. What if he was hurt? Or worse?

“Oh my God!”

It was Alisha.

“Help us,” I said, thrusting an arm out from beneath Kade.

“Kathleen?” Alisha grabbed my hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. Please, just help Kade.”

I felt Kade’s body move as she rolled him carefully off me. I sat up in a rush. His eyes were shut, but he was breathing.

“Call nine-one-one,” I ordered. Alisha ran to make the call.

The fire was still burning inside my apartment. I could feel the heat and smell the smoke.

“Kade,” I said, pushing his hair back from his face. “Kade, wake up.” It didn’t look like he was hurt. Splinters of wood and plaster covered him, but I couldn’t see any blood. “Please, Kade. Please wake up!” I was close to hysterical, crying and shaking his shoulder to try and wake him.

Kade shifted and his eyes fluttered open.

“What the fuck?” he groaned.

A small laugh escaped through my tears and I bent my head to his chest, wrapping my arms up over his shoulders and hugging him tightly.

“You’re okay,” I said. “Thank God, you’re okay.”

His hand cupped the back of my head and I felt his chest rumble as he spoke. “I’m fine,” he said. “You?”

I couldn’t speak and just nodded, my cheek scrunching his shirt.

Sirens wailed in the distance and Kade got to his feet, wincing as he did so. My hands and knees were scraped from hitting the concrete. We rounded up Alisha and her dog, Bacon Bits, and scurried down to the parking lot. Lucky for them, the people in the apartment below mine weren’t home.

It was only as we were watching the firemen climb the stairs with the hose that I saw Kade’s back. His shirt had been burned away in spots, some as big as my palm, the skin underneath an angry red. His hair was singed, too.

“Kade, you’re hurt,” I said stupidly, staring at him.