Out to Protect (2 page)

God, it frustrated the hell out of him how many people got freaked out when they witnessed two men or two women together. He knew it came from the unknown and most being taught that a relationship consisted of a man and woman. Times had changed. Men and women were free to be who they truly were, and Grant had decided he wanted to exercise his right.

He had, and now he was in the proverbial principal’s office about to get his hands slapped for being honest with his colleagues.

Grant held his breath as he sat in the chair in front of the chief’s desk. Papers were strewn across the top. A little lamp lit up a portion of the desk. Grant noticed the empty coffee cups strewn all over the desk. Chief Heslin didn’t look at Grant. He shuffled a few papers around, appearing distracted and less than thrilled to be dealing with Grant.

“Sir?”

Finally the chief dropped the papers, slapped his hands on the desk, and looked him square in the eyes.

“We have an issue, Matteson.”

Okay, he’s well aware of the issue. It’s time to face the music.

If Heslin thought he’d fire or put him on administrative leave, he was dead wrong. Grant was prepared for a fight if that was what he was faced with. Grant knew his rights, and being singled out because of his sexuality was a lawsuit waiting to happen.

“I know, sir.” No sense in denying it. He caused the issue, and now he was ready to face reality.

“You do?”

“Yes. I didn’t think it would take long for word to get to you, sir. So how do we handle this?”

“I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing, Matteson.”

“Sorry, sir. What are you talking about?” Grant felt a temporary reprieve. If they weren’t talking about the same thing, maybe Ralph took off to handle his anger in a different way. That would be a relief. He’d get a reprieve from all the nasty words he’d been spewing. Grant dreaded the idea of losing his partner and having to start all over with a new one. It would be tough, and he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

“I’m talking about a possible serial killer. What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, sir. What’s this about a serial killer?” No sense causing the chief added frustrations if there was a serial killer on the loose. He obviously had enough to deal with.

“At first we thought someone was just randomly killing prostitutes here and there. We thought maybe a few pimps were pissed off and went a little far with their anger. Now it’s become obvious that it’s a serial killer. The MO appears to be the same. The women are used for their sex, tied up, and then injected with enough antifreeze to kill a horse. Then their bodies are dumped over on Ninth Street.”

“Christ, that’s got to be a horrifying way to die.”

“To say the least. While it’s a quick death, it’s far from painless. They can suffer from seizures, accelerated heart rate, vomiting…and if they’re tied up, they’ll likely choke on that. The women on the street are terrified.”

“Rightly so.” Someone killing their friends would give them ample reason to be afraid. “So how can I help?”

“I want my best on this case. Consider yourself and Ralph assigned.”

“Have you spoken with Ralph in the last thirty minutes, sir?” This was exactly what he needed right now to keep his mind off things, but spending that much time in a car with Ralph seemed highly unlikely. The case would give Grant the distraction he needed from the precinct. Spending time away from the men and women might give them the opportunity to absorb what Ralph said and figure things out.

“No, he’s nowhere to be found. I’ve been waiting for him to walk through the door. I decided to brief you first. I figured you could fill him in.”

“Highly unlikely, sir.”

“Out with it, Matteson. If my two finest are fighting, I need you guys to figure it out and move past it. I don’t have time for baby games.”

Grant knew he’d pissed off the boss. Already treading on thin ice, he hesitated telling him the truth but knew he had no other choice.

“This isn’t a game, sir. I…uh…uh, I just told Ralph that I’m gay, and let’s just say he didn’t take it very well.”

“Oh for cryin’ out loud, Grant. Did you really have to choose today to come out of the closet?”

“I didn’t realize today would be a bad day, Chief.”

“That’s not what I meant. Look, I have no issues with your sexuality. Christ, it’s just that today of all days, I need my two best guys. That’s you and Ralph.”

“I’m afraid Ralph can’t stand the sight of me right now. In fact, I believe his exact words were ‘fuckin’ faggot.’” Grant regretted the words once they were out. He didn’t want Ralph to get in trouble, but he also needed the chief to understand the severity of their situation.

“Shit. This is not good. Let me talk to him and see what we can do.”

Grant nodded and silently left. He knew Ralph would tell Heslin to go to hell. Grant had listened and cringed each time Ralph had ranted and raved over the years about his hatred for gays. Yes, he secretly hoped that Ralph would make an exception for him, but it was evident that wasn’t going to happen.

Ralph pushed past Grant as he left the office, slamming his shoulder against Grant’s arm. He ignored the pain radiating through him. He bit back the curse that hung on the tip of his tongue. Grant had to be the bigger man in this situation. If he stooped to Ralph’s level, he’d only encourage the people with phobias.

Grant returned to his desk. Someone thought it would be funny to post pictures of a bunch of young guys all over. They were taped to his phone, his lamp, and even a few of his file folders. Grant shook his head. It wasn’t going to get easier anytime soon. It looked like the department planned to make his life a living hell.

“Funny. Real funny,” he called out, waving the folder with a hot young blond on the cover.

Susy walked over and pulled each picture off. She waved them up in the air.

“Who stole my guys? I’ll break the fingers of the next guy who steals pictures off my desk.” She winked at Grant.

He couldn’t help but smile. She’d come to his rescue. She hadn’t turned her back on him.

“Thanks,” he whispered.

“Anytime. You don’t deserve this. They shouldn’t judge a person by his sexuality.”

Grant sighed. Finally. This was the reaction he’d been hoping for. It was a bit delayed, but very welcomed right now.

She patted his hand. “It will get better. You’ve known these guys for a very long time. Some are manly men. I get what you’re going through, and maybe someday others will appreciate your honesty.”

“I hope you’re right. I’m worried about Ralph. He’s really pissed. I’m not sure what he’s going to do at this point. He’s in Heslin’s office now.”

“I’m sure he just needs time. Everyone needs time. We’re cops. We’re a tough bunch. When people think about being gay, they think weak and sissy. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but that’s the truth.”

Grant looked around the room. No one paid attention to him and Susy. They were busy doing their own thing. That alone was a good sign. He wasn’t being stared at like some freak.

“I appreciate your pep talk. It means a lot to me.”

“Hey, I can understand them needing time to figure things out, but this is just not acceptable.” She held up the pictures.

He nodded. “No. I never expected them to go this far. I can’t imagine who did it, and honestly I don’t want to know. I just want to put this all behind me.”

The phone on his desk rang.

“You get that and don’t worry about the guys.”

Grant watched Susy walk away back to her desk. Thank God he had someone on his side.

“Matteson,” he said, answering his phone.

“Get in my office now.” A dial tone buzzed in his ear.

“Great.” He could only imagine what the conversation had been like with Ralph. He knew from the tone of the chief’s voice things were not good. Ralph probably told the chief he wouldn’t be seen with him out on the streets.

How could so much hatred come from one admission? Susy was right; he’d known these guys for many years. Ten to be exact. Some were newer, and some were older, but he’d come on the force a nineteen-year-old rookie. They’d welcomed him with open arms. He’d been immediately assigned to Ralph. Ralph was five years older than him and had been married with two small children at the time Grant joined. Their age difference hadn’t mattered. They’d still bonded, and that hadn’t wavered until today. Now it seemed their once-strong friendship was forever damaged.

Grant took a deep breath and headed back to the boss’s office. He knocked and entered without waiting to be asked in. He was expected. Another surprise awaited him when he entered the room. Ralph stood over to the left of the chief. He had his arms crossed over his chest and a look of disgust on his face. That didn’t surprise him. The presence of Parker was what took him aback.

Parker sat in one of the two chairs.

“Sit.” The chief pointed to the other empty chair.

Grant didn’t hesitate. He sat and crossed his arms.

“I’m not in the mood to deal with the present situation. There are too many other important issues that need this department’s attention. So in the interest of this department, I’m going to partner Ralph up with Stanley, and since Parker hasn’t been paired up yet, he’s going to work closely with you, Grant.”

Grant cringed. He knew Parker was gay, and the kid was still in the closet. The last place he wanted to be was driving around with Grant.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea, Chief.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” Ralph said. Disgust dripped from every word.

Ralph definitely didn’t want anything to do with Grant, and as far as he was concerned, Grant being stuck with the new kid was perfect.

“Chief, do I get a say in this?” Parker asked.

Great, no one wants to be partnered with me? I’m really the leper of the department.

Bile rose up his throat to the back of his mouth. Could this get any worse?

“No! You two get moving and find the serial killer. Just be advised that Ralph and Stanley will be doing their own investigation too.”

Ralph mumbled something, but Grant couldn’t understand him. It was just as well. He’d likely said something offensive, and Grant didn’t need any more harsh remarks from his friend.

No matter how Ralph felt, Grant still considered him a friend. He understood his anger and would give him time to come to terms with everything.

“What are you all waiting for? Get the hell out of my office and out on the streets.”

“Yes, sir.” Ralph charged out of the office.

Parker looked to Grant. “We better get going.”

Grant stood and looked at the chief. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Just catch me a killer.”

He didn’t look up from the paperwork. Grant hadn’t expected him to. He didn’t want to address Grant’s confession right now. He wanted to push it to the side and deal with it later. This wasn’t the first time a person had done that to him, and it wouldn’t be the last, but they’d have to discuss the problem in the end. There was no two ways about it. He and Ralph would have to face the facts too. It was only a matter of time.

“Let’s go, Parker. I guess you’re stuck with me.”

Chapter Two

How the fuck did he manage to get stuck with Grant? Of all the rotten things the chief could do—stick him with the one gay guy who decided to come out of the closet. Parker had a full career ahead. The last thing he wanted was to be tied to the one man who could ruin him.

Parker followed Grant out to his car. His new partner continued to mumble things under his breath. Parker refused to ask Grant if he was talking to himself. He might be forced to work with Grant, but he didn’t have to engage in conversation, unless it was job related.

To keep his sexuality a secret, Parker had severed all ties with former relationships. He kept a low profile. He refused to let anyone know he preferred men over women. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to be like the other guys he hung out with. Parker dated his share of women. He even slept with a few. In the end he realized they did nothing for him. He still desired a man. Over the last year, as he’d cut ties, he’d grown lonely. He desperately wanted companionship but couldn’t risk anyone finding out.

His parents would be furious if they knew their only son was gay. He’d grown up in a home where you went to school, got a good education, found a job, got married, and lived happily ever after. The catch was he was supposed to marry a woman.

Parker had no desire for the happily ever after with a woman. If he’d been smart, he would’ve chosen a profession where being gay wasn’t a problem. Instead he decided he wanted to fight crime and get the bad guys. Now he had to live with secrets. Though he had to do the same thing with his parents, so, in reality, he was used to it.

“Just gonna stare out the window all day?”

Parker hadn’t realized they’d driven away from the station and were now in the vicinity of where some of the victims were found. Grant apparently wanted to make conversation, but Parker wasn’t feeling it.

“Yeah.” He didn’t bother looking Grant’s way.

“Look, I realize I scare you. It’s because of guys like you that I decided to come clean.”

“Guys like me? What the fuck does that mean?” Parker’s nose flared when he clenched his teeth. How dare Grant associate him with his kind? They were nothing alike. Grant evidently liked to be outspoken and draw attention to himself. Parker preferred to be a wallflower and have no one notice him. On top of that, Parker was soft and gentle; Grant was harsh. Parker resented being compared to him.

“Come on, man, I’m not stupid. Don’t you think I know?”

His emphasis on the word
know
irritated Parker.

“You don’t have a fuckin’ clue.” Grant irked him with his high-and-mighty attitude. He thought he knew so much. Fuck him.

Grant laughed. His laughter, even though irritating, reached inside, almost softening him. Almost.

“I don’t find anything about this situation funny. I don’t know what you
think
you know, but let’s just get this cleared up. I’m not gay. Never was and never will be.” Parker knew he sounded convincing. He’d practiced this argument over and over.