Outlaw Country (12 page)

“No, that is not good news. It means I’m going to have to try extra hard to get rid of you two.” Knowing Roger wouldn’t leave without an explanation, Kathleen walked away from the door, allowing him to enter. It was barely nine in the morning, and she was ready for a drink.

Roger stepped into the room, then closed the door. “What are you talking about?”
 

She didn’t turn around as he spoke. Kathleen couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a drink, let alone one first thing in the morning. Shuffling through the bottles at the wet bar, she decided on Johnny Black. Her voice was as steady and cold as the surface of a frozen lake, making every word that much harsher.
 

“Apparently, you only get the good articles sent to you. Apparently, I only get the bad ones. TMZ just post a picture of Colton drunk, with his tongue halfway down some groupie’s mouth. That wouldn’t be so bad if the article had also claimed that he and Gracie were dating; something that will
never
be true.

“Even if we ignore all the rumors and lies in the article, Colton is a despicable, disgusting human being, and I want nothing to do with the two of you anymore. I’ve been on the phone with Arvin Greenburg, and I gave him an ultimatum. If Colton Wade shows up in Memphis, Gracie and I do not.”

Kathleen turned, the ice in her glass clinking against the sides. “There is such a thing as bad press. Maybe not for a man, but for a woman? Definitely. Colton is a playboy, but what would Gracie be if she lived life that?”

Roger stood at the end of the hallway, his fingers tapping against his thigh. His mood was shattered, but he couldn’t fault Kathleen. She was ruggedly defensive of her daughter. He remembered what it had been like with Raylene. It was as close as he had come to being a father; the fear, the worry, the men. He let out a sigh as his gaze fell to the ground. So many times, Roger had wished that he knew a little more about the business with Raylene. She might be a star today if he had.

“I know what they would say.” His voice was nothing but defeat. “After Raylene, Colton was a breath of fresh air for me. It was nice not having to defend his character and his ‘purity’. It’s infinitely easier to defend someone for smashing the windshield of a cop car, as hard as that might be to believe.”

After his interactions with Kathleen backstage, she had been on his mind all night. Roger thought that the news of Colton and Gracie’s single debuting at number one could be the start of something powerful between him and Kathleen. She was demanding and even overbearing sometimes, but Roger knew it came from a great place.

His eyes darted back and forth on the Oriental rug as he tried to find the right words. He suspected that there weren’t any, but he had to try. It wasn’t for business; it was for him. “Don’t go.”

His words were so quiet, but Kathleen’s eyes darted back up to his. “What?”

Roger forced himself to meet her look. “Colton is more than a handful; I know that. I’m not try to make excuses for him, but please don’t go. I’m not talking about Gracie right now; I’m not talking about Colton right now. I’m talking about you and me.”

Kathleen shook her head. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I don’t even know what you’re saying, Roger.”

He stepped into the large living space, heading straight for Kathleen. His mind was reeling. Roger hated taking chances, but he had to risk something to gain it all. “I’m not making any sense; I know that much. Maybe I’m crazy, but I felt something. I
still
feel something. It doesn’t have a damn thing to do with business. If you don’t think there’s anything there, just let me know. I’ll do what I have to get Colton and the band pulled from the tour.” Roger stared at Kathleen, waiting for her to speak.

It was in no way how he expected his morning to go. Roger was expecting to share the good news with Kathleen, and maybe the two of them would get to know each other over breakfast. Instead, he was rolling the dice and pouring his heart out to of her.

Kathleen wished she was still out on her run. With her headphones in, the world was gone. She could be alone with her thoughts, and everything was her decision. As she sat in a hotel room, it felt like everything was out of her control. Roger confessing his feelings for her was baffling. He was a hard man to read. Even when Kathleen could read him, there wasn’t much happiness there. She was a cutthroat manager and mother, and she knew it wasn’t the friendliest combination. At the very least, she owed Roger an apology. It was more than that, though.

Ever since he had told her about Raylene Evans, Kathleen saw Roger a little differently. At least to some extent, he understood the pressures on women in the music business. He could do more than understand; he could sympathize.

 
She’d be lying to herself if Kathleen didn’t admit that Roger was something of a mystery. He wasn’t the typical bad-boy that she had been drawn to in her earlier years, but he wasn’t far from it. He had his own brand of bad-boy; one she hadn’t tried.

The choice before her was clear. Be a manager and a mother, or be a woman. Both could have disastrous consequences. Kathleen wasn’t that old, despite what she told herself. At thirty-eight, she could still get knocked up and abandoned. Even with all the success surrounding her and Gracie, Kathleen was still afraid.

She set the glass down, no longer in the mood for the drink. “It’s like you do the exact opposite of what I expect or need at any given moment. It’s endlessly frustrating.” Looking out the window, Kathleen heard Roger step closer to her.

“What do you mean?”

“When I’m angry I like to be angry. It helps me work, but then you come in and smooth things over, and before I know it, the anger is gone. When I’m sitting here thinking that I’m alone and it’s time to build walls to keep people out, you convince me to knock any kind of barrier down.” Emotion was creeping into Kathleen’s voice. “Damnit, Roger.”

“Damnit, what? I made you remember you’re a human? You remembered that in this life people work together? You’ve been a lone wolf too long, Kathleen. Maybe it served you well as Gracie’s manager, but what about you? How have
you
been doing the past twenty years?”
 

Roger stepped closer, and Kathleen had to turn to him. She couldn’t hide the tears in her eyes, but then again, she didn’t particularly want to. His words hit so close to home that she couldn’t stand it. For twenty years, Kathleen had ignored that desire for a partner; for a teammate. When it came to Gracie’s career, Kathleen was laser focused. It allowed her to ignore the gaping hole inside of her. Roger had spotted it almost instantly.

Gracie or me?
Every time that question had come up and Kathleen’s mind, she had chosen Gracie. When her daughter showed an interest in music, Kathleen canceled the cable and Internet, so she could afford lessons. When it became clear that Gracie had a future in the music business, Kathleen made the hard choice to leave what little they had in Braselton and moved to Atlanta. Every choice had been about Gracie, even if that choice hurt Kathleen. She told herself that’s what it meant to be a parent.

By the time Kathleen realized she had answered, it was too late. Roger went on, “Exactly. Being a manager is one thing. Being a mother is another. When you combine the two of those, it’s a recipe for disaster. Kathleen, look at me.”

Through blurred vision, she forced her eyes to meet his.

“It’s not a sin to think about yourself. Doing something good for you every now and then isn’t going to destroy Gracie. Like I said, say the word, and we’ll leave the tour. If that’s what you really want, I’ll do it. I just…I just hope you can see past your immediate feelings and get to what you really want.”

 
Kathleen admired how well Roger had been able to read her, but he was bordering on arrogance. They were only beginning to get to know each other. Kathleen didn’t like him thinking he knew her so well. Kathleen made a decision that she thought was best for her and Gracie.

“This
is
what I want.” Her words were quiet, but she pushed on. “I think it’s best for all parties involved if we go our separate ways.”

Roger could only nod. “Snake eyes. Guess I’ll go let Colton know the bad news.” She watched him head to the door, his body sunken.

The cold slam of the door made Kathleen reach for the drink again. She downed it in one hard swallow.

Colton and Gracie held each other and talked for what felt like hours. They finally pulled themselves from the softness of the bed, their appetites howling. Colton poured them each a glass of champagne, and Gracie giggled when the bubbles tickled her nose.

Every bit of her skin felt super sensitive. Colton would drag a finger down her arm, and Gracie would feel a shiver run down her spine. Endorphins seems to be coursing through her veins, causing her to smile or laugh for no reason at all. She saw a powerful look in Colton’s eyes that made her blush.
 

Beside all that, she didn’t feel any different. Gracie didn’t feel like she had gone from girl to woman, and telling herself that she wasn’t a virgin anymore did nothing. The thought of losing her virginity had made her so worried and anxious, but it had all been for nothing. Colton hadn’t hurt her; quite the opposite actually. When he was with her, Gracie felt like the only woman in the world. She was strong, sexy, and she was in control. As hungry as she was, she was ready for a second roll in the hay with the sexy musician.

After downing slice of bacon, Colton let out a laugh.
 

Gracie asked, “What’s so funny?” His infectious laughter spread to her.

“I was just thinking.” Colin shook his head. “What’s your momma gonna think?”

The perfect, insulated moment between her and Colton deflated like a popped balloon. The world of obligations and overbearing parents barreled back to her. She knew exactly what her mother would think. “Colton, I think it might be best to keep our mouths shut about this.”

He nodded. “Ain’t the first time a woman has kept me a secret.”

“No, no, no.” Her muscles tensed, her stomach turned. “That’s not what I mean. Between the tour, the press, and your…let’s call it ‘persona’. I don’t think my mother would exactly take a liking to you. In fact, I can almost guarantee it.”