Outstripped (17 page)

"I've
eaten a lot of bananas," replied Lucy, "But I've never even seen one
of these before. What do you call it?"

"I
call it, er, Big Luke."

"It's
not
that
big Mister Banner."

"I
thought you hadn't seen one before? Anyway, weren't you busy with him? He needs
you."

"Oh,
yes, I suppose I was" and she stroked his banana like phallus up and down
again before swallowing him as far as she could go.

It was
time for surprise number two. The handle turned and the door banged against
Luke's back. Lucy got a little more of Luke than she expected but survived the
moment as he pushed backwards ensuring no one gained access.

"Busy,"
he shouted abruptly.

"These
interruptions are a bit of a nuisance Mister Banner. Better hold on to your
hat," suggested Lucy, and taking full control of their limited time and
privacy predicament she went at 'Little Luke' with gusto. The stroking became
pumping and the licking became sucking. The subtle lubrication increased to
full blown spit and saliva. The speed intensified, the grip strengthened and
Lucy's incredible resolve, determination and job satisfaction all came to the fore.
Then it crossed her mind,

"You
just can't beat fully clothed sex, of any kind, but we're in his office, what
do I do? Spit or swallow?
Mess or munchies?
Projectile
or protein?"

With
'Double Oh! Sixty Nine' safely back from her undercover Op' Jody felt a little
more at ease, but no-where near as relaxed as she was going to be.

She'd
been counting the days down on her home made advent (style) calendar, which was
in the shape of an ocean liner with
twenty one
portholes. The last of which seemed to be somewhere in the officers quarters. Me
thinks
everyone knew where she was heading with that.

Only a
few days to go and she would have to leave Bill and Sarah to it. There wasn't
actually a great deal to do since they were still without access until
'handover', but she loved to fret (female, duh?). Like a bride's mother there
was so much to do, yet nothing to do. Everything was vital, crucial, intensely
important, but really, not much trouble at all. Typical bloke Bill had made the
mistake of telling her this, and as you would expect, 'it went down like a
burning orphanage'.

"How
could he remain so calm in the face of all this stuff to do?"

He
eventually saw the error of his ways and apologized profusely to Jody before
making a concerted effort to pretend 'properly' that he was interested in the
finer details of their club-to-be. The truth was, Jody just wanted everything
to be perfect, and Bill was just being realistic. How did he put it now?

 
"There was 'Fuck All' they could do until
they had the key!"

Behind
all the fretting and excitement for the club, there had also been the
none-too-small matter of getting online with the freelance side of her Travel
Agency or 'Day Job' as they liked to call it. Lucy was put to work on this
again but collectively they'd decided not to push things until 'the cruise' was
over. In truth there was only going to be 'so much' time Jody could dedicate to
this anyway. Delegation was the key and gradually Jody was surrounding herself
with a very receptive and capable flock of 'delegate ees'.

'C-day'
came around in 'no time' and Jody was once more on her way to Heathrow. The big
back seat of her Hackney Carriage, or London Taxicab, for the less historically
informed, provided ample space to spread, settle, lounge, 'give in' and finally
rest.

Once
upon a time someone had given her a golden rule for departing anywhere,
"Assume you've forgotten something and you'll never be disappointed. When
you discover what it is, you'll have been right all along." The inference
being that the panic will be a lot less manic, since you already knew and it
would just
be
confirmation of your self-righteousness.

"Easier
said than done," thought Jody.

The only
thing left to do now was get on the plane, and she'd checked for her Passport
and tickets three times already.

London whizzed
past her windows in a blur. Everything was familiar yet she knew none of it.
"Bring me something different, some sunshine, some warmth, a long tall
drink poured by the world's best barman and a smile from a handsome
stranger."

"Come
again love," chipped in the cabbie, desperate to engage in some small talk
with the only 'fit bird' to grace his cab in ages.

"Nothing.
Nothing. Just talking to myself."

"Pity,"
he thought, but he said "Righto."

The
flight was a bit of a non-event. On the face of it, a blessing for most people,
but totally different and a tad 'low key' to the last time Jody did the Miami
trip.
 
This time it was a mere mode of
transportation rather than the very reason to travel. The crew was different
also from the one she got to know previously, rather intimately, and in the end
she decided not to try too hard but to wait for her Cruise for the next big
adventure and all it could throw at her.

Although
she hadn't exactly 'done' Miami the last time she was here, it did seem
familiar and she was quite comfortable with her bearings. She'd quickly picked
up on the American (or New World even) way of city development and road
enumeration. North, East, South and West with numbers attached, is far, far
simpler to understand and navigate than the British and European tradition of
following well-trodden animal tracks and eventually naming them. Jody decided
that if she ever got into town planning she'd do it this way and maybe do away
with roundabouts too. They're a pain in the arse to drive round sometimes, but
"Hang on, wait a minute" she thought, "Curvy, bendy, undulating
roads do make for far more interesting journeys and spectacular
architecture."

The Port
of Miami came into view interrupting her train of thought and all pointless
cogitations regarding roads and streets and cars and traffic went up in
metaphorical smoke, to be replaced with ships and luxury and relaxation and
oceans and oceans of water and sunsets.

Jody
strained hard to see
her
ship, to
start
her
voyage at the earliest
possible moment. But a funnel here and a stern there was quite insufficient for
identification of
her own
private liner. So she sat
back again and let the magic taxi ride take her there instead. Which was in
fact its sole and designated purpose after all.

Modern
day Cruise Terminals are a strange affair she thought. The Line owners,
operators and their marketing departments spend millions and millions conjuring
up majesty and luxury and mythological status for their ships and their
superior mode of transportation. Yet when it comes down to what should be the
magnificence of arrival for embarkation, their privileged passengers are greeted
with a touch of anticlimax.

There's
little to differentiate a modern seaport from an airport. Times have come full
circle. The need to educate the masses that the latest and coolest form of
travel is now via a 'port' dedicated to air transportation has long since
passed. To be replaced with soundproofed, plastic, wide-open spaces seemingly
designed to encourage solitude and separation, rather than the hustle and
bustle and camaraderie of globetrotting adventure. Unfortunately these same
intolerant, impersonal and uninteresting environments have also now rubbed the
shine off the resurgence of the all-together classier and 'only' way to travel.

Jody was
busy dictating her imaginary journalism in her head and continued as she
strolled through check in and passport control, and the same old yah-di-yah as
usual.

"The
niceties and pleasantries are all there but the grandeur has long since
departed." Anyone reading her thoughts would have assumed she was in her
'nineties'. "Where's the sepia film footage, the nostalgia and the
romance," then
........

"O.M.G.
Look at the fucking size of that thing."

Jody had
reached the windows and only just realized that the chain of hotels blocking
her view of the harbour was actually all one. It was enormous. She couldn't
even see the top, or the funnels, or the ends. "In fact, where are the
ends?" She couldn't tell. This was it, and it was waiting for
her
. "O.M.F.G."

She all but
ran round the building looking for a viewing gallery or outside platform from
which to get a better look. This was amazing. It's one of the oddities of
traveling that the best view of your transport is the one you gain when you're
not actually being transported. She reached the upper viewing deck where
complementary drinks were being served by extremely polite staff
and only elbow-fighting room existed at the railings. "Where's my ticket
for
'upper, upper first class'
when I
need it?" and then she found some space as an elderly couple finished
their photo opportunity and left in pursuit of weightlessness for their already
aching bones.

Jody was
genuinely awestruck. When you see ships from afar, they're big. When you see
them across the harbour, they're enormous. But when you're stood right next to
one' they're
mind
blowingly incredulous.

It was a
little too early for alcohol, so
a
‘St Clements’ on
ice would do nicely whilst they waited to embark. Looking around she could see,
to her relief that the cross section of guests in her vicinity were of all
ages. "Even a few kids, but," she crossed her fingers,
"hopefully not too many. And thank God, they're not all pensioners."

When
Jody finally got her slot for embarkation she was surprised to see the
"actual, real, physical Captain" greeting everyone in person, along
with a small supporting cast with big, big smiles, clipboards and just the
right balance of professionalism, patronization and genuine humour. She was
impressed with their talents, and their uniforms. "There's just something
about uniforms," she almost said out loud as she shook hands and exchanged
pleasantries with the Captain.

"I
believe you're here as our
special
guest Jody?" the Captain rhetorically surmised, both knowing the answer
and expecting a response.

"Yes,
I've been looking forward to this trip for ages."

"I
think we better look after this young lady, don't you Miss Parkin?

"Absolutely."

"We
need to make sure the "Meridian Glory" is at the top of Jody's
recommended list."

"If
there's anything you need, just ask me or one of my staff Jody." chipped
in Miss Parkin. "We'll be more than happy to accommodate, if you'll excuse
the pun."

"Yes
and thank you. But as far as possible I just want to be treated just like any
other guest, if that's okay?" she responded.

"Like
Royalty it is, then." finished the Captain as he excused himself to
perform his greeting ceremony for the couple behind her. She couldn't help
likening his task to Prince Charles or some other Royal with the unenviable
responsibility of handshaking with almost everyone on the planet, and smiling
at the same time.

Jody was escorted to her cabin on 'E Deck' by her designated steward,
who was the epitome of politeness
.
Somewhere between formal and friendly, but definitely gay.
"Or," she got to thinking, "is it just an effeminate nature or
....?
" she couldn't complete her own determinations,
".....
whatever
! It goes with the territory
anyway, and actually, they're all gay, aren't they?" A sweeping generalization
was all she came up with.

Her
young Filipino escort, Jomari, was well used to being followed 'to cabin' with
the full knowledge he was being studied and
pigeon-holed
in whatever manner the guest decided on. He was a conscientious soul and hard
worker that didn't really give a shit so long as he was rewarded for his
attentiveness, his service and his smile. He would endear himself to Jody, as
he would with all his guests but he would reserve judgement, as should she, for
now. Western girls with money do have a habit of being spoilt, rude bitches,
though.

Jody put
him straight in no time, though not necessarily in sexual disposition. The jury
would remain out, there, for a while. Jomari and her 'hit it off' big time. Her
pleasantries brought his assistance and her friendliness extended to favours.
Nothing was too much trouble or out of the question.

"Mercenary
stewards go with the territory," it would seem. But having a good time of
it makes the whole occasion so much more palatable and fun for both parties.
"Just like lap dancing" Jody cottoned on, and it reminded her of some
long forgotten song lyrics.

"We’ve entrepreneurs and numerous self employed ladies

You can’t call them sinners coz really we’re all up for
sale"

Anyway
back to Jody's maiden voyage. Time of departure was set at five pm sharp or
1700hrs on the
24 hour
'nautical' clock. This
strategic plan for 'letting go' (mooring ropes that is) provided sufficient
time for a ticker tape style departure, orientation,
safety
drill and then scheduled evening dinner. It was even late enough to afford
adequate sightseeing and shopping time for shore visitors not leaving the ship
at whichever port it was. Cleverly it was also still daylight and a chance for
everyone to get a good view of Port and proceedings. It’s a little difficult to
experience this magical moment in a
night time
setting, so Cruise Ship Itineraries are set to the timing of a Swiss watch and
deliver their seamless and never ending sequences of enthralling events like
clockwork.

Anyone
would think the whole world revolved around
them
. Well
actually most ports of destination do. These ships are the biggest, and
sometimes only,
money spinners
for many an island,
port or small country. Who wouldn't bend over backwards or change their entire
way of life for the opportunity to be on the Cruise Liner's destination list.

Jomari
had unpacked for Jody and this had given her some time to investigate the ship.
It was huge. Port and Starboard, and Fore 'n' Aft are all very well for the
crew and not too difficult outside (on deck), but trying to keep her bearings
on the inside of this leviathan was not easy. Still there were plenty of signs
and helpful uniforms whenever she felt a little lost. It’s all part of the
adventure and in a few days time it would be as easy as seductively removing your
clothing in a darkened room full of strangers.