Over You (11 page)

The woman turned around, confirming her identity. “Is Kyle here?”

All her feelings of inadequacy rushed back as she saw Melanie standing in front of her. “No.”

“Oh. Do you know when he’ll be back?”

Not wanting to share the argument she’d had with Kyle, Jessica decided to be vague. “Not really. No.” She paused. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“It’s just that I’m going out of town for a few days and he left this in my apartment.” Melanie had an envelope in her hand. “I wanted to drop it by.”

Hearing that Kyle spent time in the woman’s apartment made their relationship seem more real, and Jessica didn’t like it.

“Would you mind giving it to him?” Melanie walked down the porch steps and held out the envelope.

Jessica took it from her. “Sure.”

“Thanks.”

“Uh huh.” Jessica moved aside to let Melanie pass. After a moment she had driven away and Jessica was alone. She climbed the porch steps and sat in one of the chairs, staring at the envelope in her hand. “I wonder what this is,” she muttered. She turned it over, examining both sides, but there was no writing or markings of any kind. She felt the shape of the object inside. The envelope was padded and the object inside was a hard square. It made her think of a music CD. Though curious, Jessica resisted the urge to open it, and instead brought it in the house and set it on a table in the entryway.
 

After the long walk, she was ready to get back to work. Once she began she made good progress on her programming project. As evening descended, she decided to take a break and go visit Ellen. After a light dinner, Jessica drove to the long-term care facility and found her aunt sitting in bed, watching the television.
 

“It looks like you’re getting settled in here okay.”

“Yes. I don’t think I’ll hate it too much.”

Jessica felt bad that her aunt had thought she would hate it there. “When are they going to start your physical therapy?”

“I guess tomorrow. The sooner the better, I say. Then I’ll be able to come home.”

“The doctor said he thought you’d be here less than two weeks. Hopefully it will go by fast.”

“Yes. Now, I want to hear your report on the remodeling project.”

Jessica was in a dilemma. She didn’t want to lie to her aunt, but she also didn’t want to argue with her about Kyle. “This morning I checked up on his work and it looked fine to me. The trouble is, I don’t really know what to look for.”

“Hmm. Have you asked him when he thinks he’ll be done?”

“No.”

“I’d like you to find out and let me know tomorrow.”

Jessica’s heart pounded. Was it because she was afraid to tell her aunt the truth, or because she knew she’d need to call Kyle and ask him to come back? “Okay,” she told her aunt, knowing she would have to swallow her pride and call Kyle. Even if she told her aunt she’d had a fight with Kyle and told him to leave, she knew her aunt would insist she call him and apologize. She certainly wasn’t ready to go that far. But she would ask him to continue working on the house.

“There’s one other thing, Jessica.”

Uh-oh, she thought. “What?”

“I spoke to your mom today and she’s coming for a visit. She’ll arrive tomorrow morning sometime.”

“Well that will be nice.” Jessica paused. “Did you tell her about Kyle?”

Ellen smiled. “It didn’t come up.”

“Oh.”
 

“Did you want me to tell her?”

“Well, I guess there’s really nothing to tell, right? I mean you hired a contractor to do some renovations on your house.”

“Yes, but that contractor happens to be your former fiancé.”

“I know.” Jessica paused again as an idea occurred to her. “Do you know how long Mom will be visiting?”

“Just for a couple of days. I think she has some open houses lined up for the weekend, so she has to get back for those. Why?”

“I’m just worried about how she’ll react when she sees Kyle.”

“What do you mean? She always liked him. Well, until he broke your heart.”

Jessica pushed back the memories that her aunt’s words brought forth and focused on her concerns. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t know if she’ll want to yell at him or convince him to get back together with me.”

“What are you suggesting?”

Jessica pictured herself calling Kyle and putting aside her pride to ask him to come back to work. She would do almost anything to avoid that. Since it was inevitable that he would need to come back to continue the job, she hoped
he
would come to
her
and apologize and ask to be
allowed
to keep working. Though in her heart she didn’t believe that would happen, she held on to the fantasy that if she was able to put off calling him long enough, that he would come to her first. “I was just thinking that maybe, just this one time, it might be a good idea to leave Mom in the dark.”

“Jessica, I’m surprised at you. You’ve never been one to hide things from your family. Are you sure you want to start now?”

“I just need . . . time, I guess. It’s been hard for me to have Kyle around. It’s brought back a lot of painful memories. I just don’t think I can deal with Mom’s reaction right now, whatever that reaction might be. I’m having enough trouble dealing with my own reaction.”

Ellen was quiet for a moment. “I want you to know I’m not real comfortable with keeping anything from my sister. But I also understand that this has been challenging for you. But what are you going to tell Kyle to keep him from coming to work?”

Guilt swept over Jessica at the information she hadn’t shared with her aunt, but she was embarrassed by the childish way she’d reacted to Kyle and didn’t want her aunt to think any less of her. “I’ll think of something,” she said, knowing keeping Kyle away wouldn’t be difficult.

Chapter Fourteen

As Jessica let herself into her aunt’s house, relief washed over her now that she had an excuse not to contact Kyle, for a while at least. Instead, she could enjoy a visit with her mom and not think about men and relationships at all. She worked on her programming project until she was too tired to think, then got ready for bed.
 

Getting up and moving around had given her some energy and she decided to read for a while before going to sleep. She climbed in bed and pulled out a novel she’d been reading, then remembered the letters to William she’d found. Smiling in anticipation, Jessica took the letters out of the nightstand drawer and laid them on her lap. She quickly reread the last letter.

My dearest William,

Though I haven’t been able to see you, I needed to write to you. Somehow, even when I am just writing to you, I feel connected to you. I need to feel connected to you today. I need to feel loved by someone. He has been so cold to me since he’s been home. Colder than usual. I feel invisible in his presence and I long to be in yours. How can I feel so lonely when I have people around me? I wonder if there is something wrong with me. The way he treats me makes me feel like I have no value.

Maybe I don’t.

~B

As Jessica read the letter, she again felt empathy for B. Kyle had made her feel the same way, and sadness washed over her as she imagined being married to someone who would treat her so poorly. She would never allow that to happen to her.
 

Jessica set the letter aside and turned to the next one, dated a month later.

My dearest William,

He will be traveling again soon and I look forward to spending time with you once more. I’m afraid the improvement in my mood at his announcement may have made him suspicious. Even so, I can’t bear to be away from you any longer, and I am willing to risk discovery if that means I can be with you.

I will be at your side the moment he is gone.

~B

Jessica eagerly turned to the next letter, dated two months later.

My dearest William,

These last weeks have been heaven on Earth as I’ve been able to spend so much time with you. Regretfully, he will be home any day now and I must play the happy wife once again. He never tells me exactly when he’ll be home, so I must be prepared at a moment’s notice for him to appear.

I long for the moment I can return to your arms.

Yours always,

~B

Jessica set the letter aside and saw the next one was dated a couple of weeks later.

My dearest William,

I am in tears as I write this. He has told me that he has much work to do here and has no plans to travel in the foreseeable future. I can hardly bear the thought of not being able to spend the night in your arms. I am in doubt as to whether I will be able to see you at all. I have the feeling he is having me watched by one of his people, but I will do my utmost to find a way to be with you again.

Yours always,

~B

Jessica had begun to have mixed feelings as she continued reading the letters. On the one hand, she felt sorry for B because she was so unhappy and could not be with the man she seemed to truly love, but on the other hand, she was a married woman and was cheating on her husband. Jessica thought about her recent break-up with Alex and the reason she’d ended it with him, and wondered if he’d been torn as well. He had admitted that Mikayla, the woman he’d been seen kissing, was someone he had cared about, but that she was married and so he knew there was no future with her.

I guess I was his second choice, Jessica thought, allowing self-pity to flow over her. At least Kyle didn’t pretend that he cared. He just left. Maybe it was better that way. I wouldn’t want him to be stuck with me.
 

Jessica put the letters back in the drawer, suddenly exhausted.

What is wrong with me that men seem to take me for granted?

Jessica adjusted her pillow and turned off the bedside lamp, then closed her eyes and tried to push all thoughts of the men who had hurt her out of her mind.

The next morning as she finished cleaning up from breakfast, she heard a car arriving. Afraid it might be Kyle, Jessica peeked out the front window, but was pleased when she saw her mother’s car parked out front. Hurrying out onto the wraparound porch, Jessica smiled at her mother, who was carrying an overnight bag up the steps.

“Mom! Hi!” Jessica hurried to her mother as she reached the porch.
 

Debra Stevens set her bag down and embraced her daughter warmly. “It’s good to see you.”

“I’m so glad you came for a visit,” Jessica said, stepping back to look at her mother.

“I guess you’ve had quite a time here.”

Jessica pictured Kyle’s face and felt a moment of alarm.
 

“I’ll bet you never expected all the drama Ellen’s put you through.”

“Oh that,” Jessica said, relieved her mother knew nothing about Kyle. “I’m just glad I was here when she got hurt. I’d hate to think what would’ve happened if she’d been here by herself.”

“When I spoke to her yesterday it sounded like she was in good spirits.”

“I think she’ll be a lot happier when she’s healed enough to come home.”

“Yes, she’s always loved this old place.”

“Why don’t you come in and I’ll fix you something cool to drink.”

“That would be nice. Thank you, honey.”

Jessica picked up her mother’s bag and carried it into the house, setting it in the entry. “Come into the sunroom and tell me what’s new.”

Debra followed her daughter into the cheerful room and sank into one of the chairs. “It will be nice not to think about work for a couple of days.”

“How long will you be staying, anyway?” Jessica asked as she poured lemonade into two glasses.

“Just until Thursday. I have an open house this weekend that I need to get back for.”

Jessica handed her mother one of the glasses and sat in the adjacent chair. “Well, I’m glad you were able to get away for a couple of days.”

They chatted for a while, then when there was a lull in the conversation, Debra got a funny look on her face.

“What is it?” Jessica asked, knowing the look on her mother’s face meant she had something on her mind.

A smile played around the corners of Debra’s mouth. “Okay. I feel a little guilty.”

“Why?”

“You know I adore my sister, but I have to admit that coming to see her wasn’t the only reason I came.”

Puzzled, Jessica frowned. “What do you mean?”

Debra looked away, then met Jessica’s gaze. “It’s Alex.”

“Alex? The Alex I broke up with?”

“Do you know another Alex?”

“No. What about him?”

“He’s come over a few times since you broke up with him, and he’s just heartbroken.”

“He came over to see you and dad?”

“Well, you know he’s not close to his family, and dad and I have always been very welcoming, so I guess he felt comfortable coming by.”

Jessica shook her head. “I don’t get it. What did he want from you?”

“Jessica, have a heart. He’s just crushed that you broke it off and left town.”

Jessica felt a sudden twinge of guilt, knowing exactly how Alex must be feeling, since she’d experienced the same thing when Kyle had left her. Though she knew the circumstances were different—after all, she’d had the courage to talk to him before ending the relationship—the end result was very similar. “He hasn’t tried to contact me.”

“No. He said he was worried you’d reject him outright.”

“So he sent my mother to speak on his behalf. I see.” Jessica pressed her lips together.

“Don’t be so hard on him, Jessica. He didn’t go into specifics, but he told me how much he regrets the mistakes he made, and how now he realizes how deeply he loves you.”

Jessica really didn’t want to go into the gory details of how Alex appeared to have cheated on her with an old girlfriend, and she certainly hadn’t forgotten the anger and betrayal she’d felt when she’d found out, but somehow, hearing that Alex still loved her and wanted her helped to ease the pain she’d been feeling over Kyle. “So, what are you suggesting?”

“Honestly, I’m not suggesting anything. I’m just passing on his message.” Debra watched Jessica for a moment. “He’s a good man. I just hate to see you unhappy. Maybe you should give him another chance.”