Over You (12 page)

Jessica’s first instinct was to flatly reject the suggestion, but the idea that she could call him up, ask him to come visit, and he would rush to her side, filled a hole that had been growing in her heart since Kyle had come back into her life. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

Debra smiled. “That’s all I can ask. Now, why don’t we go give my sister a visit?”

“That sounds like a great idea. But mom, do me a favor and don’t mention any of this stuff with Alex, okay?”

“Of course. I know you don’t need any more pressure.”

Because Jessica had work to do, she and her mother drove separately to the long-term care center. After a brief visit, Jessica left her mother with her aunt and drove home.
 

Several hours later, as Jessica worked on her project, she heard a car pull up and decided it would be a good time to stop and spend time with her mother. But when she heard heavy footsteps on the porch, and then a strong knock on the door, she realized it wasn’t her mother who had arrived.

Jessica strode to the front door and pulled it open. “Kyle, what are you doing here?” Jessica’s heart pounded at the site of her ex-fiancé. Not only was his arrival unexpected, but she feared her mother would arrive at any moment.

“I committed to work on this project for your aunt and I’m committed to finishing it. I know you don’t like me being here, and Jessica, you have no idea how bad that makes me feel, but I can’t just stop working on this project. My reputation is on the line.”

Jessica didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t decide if he seemed more concerned about finishing the job because he’d made the agreement, or because not finishing it could damage his reputation. Clearly, her feelings were the least of his worries. Though hurt that she mattered so little, she also knew that her aunt expected the job to get done. But her aunt had also agreed that the work could stop for the few days her mother was in town. “I’ll agree to allow you to continue, but I just need you to wait until Monday to start back.”

Kyle’s eyebrows drew together. “Any particular reason? I’m ready to work right now.”

“As a matter of fact, I do have a reason.”

“Which is?”

“You’re just going to have to agree without knowing why.” Keeping that information from him made Jessica feel like she had the upper hand, though she knew she was floundering. Every time she saw him she felt off-kilter and she didn’t like it.

“Fine. I’ll see you on Monday.” Kyle turned away and Jessica began shutting the door, then Kyle suddenly turned back. “Jess?”

His use of her nickname caught her attention and she held the door in place, waiting to see what he would say.

“Please don’t hate me,” he said.

The look of sincerity in his sea-green eyes surprised her. Though she knew she didn’t hate him—in fact she knew she still had feelings for him—she didn’t want him to know how she really felt. As long as she could keep her façade of indifference in place, she was certain she could convince him that she no longer cared. Then she would be able to continue pretending that his relationship with Melanie didn’t bother her. She hoped that would diminish his power to hurt her, whether intentional or not.
 

As she looked at the frankness in his eyes, she had to suppress her instinct to assure him that she didn’t hate him. Fearing that if she opened her mouth she would expose her true feelings, she kept her mouth clamped shut and merely gazed at him.

When she didn’t reply he turned away and walked down the porch steps. Jessica observed the slump of his shoulders, and a wave of guilt crashed over her as she knew her lack of response had hurt him. Even though she’d been wounded deeply by what he’d done to her in the past, she didn’t want to see him suffering as well.
 

But then she pictured him going to Melanie for comfort and suddenly she didn’t feel sorry for him anymore. He had someone who would soothe his wounded heart. She had no one.

That’s not true
, she suddenly realized. Alex would arrive in a heartbeat if she summoned him. A small smile curved her face, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to complicate her life further by making him a part of it again.

Jessica closed the door and listened to the sound of Kyle leaving. Why would he care if I hate him? Is it because he actually cares about the way I feel, or is it to soothe his own guilt?
 

Shaking her head, she tried to push thoughts of Kyle out of her mind and glanced around the room, stopping at the table in the entry. Her gaze moved to the padded envelope Melanie had dropped off the day before, and she frowned as she realized she’d missed an opportunity to give it to him.

Jessica stepped to the table and lifted the envelope, again feeling the shape of the object inside. Curiosity tingled in her mind and she bit her lip as she debated whether to take a peek. What could have been so important that Melanie didn’t want to wait until she got back from her business trip to deliver it to Kyle herself?

Chapter Fifteen

Debra arrived at the house a while later and Jessica fixed them both a late lunch.
 

“So, how do you think Ellen’s doing?” Jessica asked, concerned her aunt was just pretending she was fine.

Debra thought for a minute as she took a bite of her salad. “I think she’s doing really well, considering how independent she is. I know it’s been hard for her to have to rely on others, but she’s an optimistic person by nature and knows this is temporary.”

Jessica felt better at her mother’s assessment, as her mother knew Ellen better than Jessica did. “Good. I’ve been worried she’s just putting up a happy front.”
 

“She might be a little, but she’s strong. She’ll be okay.”

“Are you going back to see her today?”

“She has her physical therapy this afternoon, but she said I could come after that.”

“I have a project I have to get finished today, but I’m almost done, so I’ll come over after I submit it to my boss.”

When lunch was over, Debra offered to clean up so Jessica could get started on working. Jessica went into the library and continued on her project. She could hear her mother moving around in the kitchen, and smiled, happy to have her mother near.
 

Focused on her task, Jessica didn’t hear her mother approach.

“What’s this, Jessica?”

Jessica looked up and saw her mother holding the plain padded envelope. Though she usually didn’t keep things from her mother, she didn’t have the energy to explain about Kyle. Especially since her mother was advocating for her to give Alex another chance. “Uh, someone dropped that off for Ellen.”

“Oh, okay. I just wanted to let you know I’m going to be reading in the sunroom for a while.”

Jessica nodded. “Okay.”

An hour later, as Jessica was struggling with a particularly difficult problem in her programming project, her mother appeared in the entry.
 

“I’m going to see Ellen now.”

Jessica barely lifted her eyes from the screen. “Okay.”
 

Later that afternoon, the programming problem solved and the project complete, Jessica was ready to stop working and go spend time with her mother and aunt. She emailed her boss to let him know she had completed the project and uploaded the programming code, then shut down her laptop and headed out the door.
 

As she approached her aunt’s room at the long-term care center, she heard laughter. She smiled, grateful her mother had been able to come and visit.

“Hi there,” Jessica said as she walked into her aunt’s room. The two women greeted Jessica as she sat in an empty chair. “How’s your ankle?”

“A little sore after the therapy, but the doctor said the infection is much, much better. He says I might be able to go home sooner than he’d originally thought.”

“That’s wonderful.”
 

The three women chatted a while, and as Debra and Ellen began to talk about someone Jessica didn’t know, her gaze wandered around the room. Something on the dresser caught her eye and her heart began to pound. Standing, she stepped toward the dresser and lifted the plain, padded envelope, which was now open.

“I grabbed that on my way over,” Debra said, obviously noticing that Jessica had found the envelope.

Jessica’s back was to her mother and aunt, and she wiped the panic from her face before turning toward them.
 

“Who did you say dropped it off?” Ellen asked.

“Uh,” Jessica said, her mind racing. “I, uh, I didn’t get her name.”

“Well, what did she look like?” Ellen pressed.

“My age, with blond hair.” Jessica described Melanie, thinking that was harmless, plus it was the truth.

Ellen looked thoughtful. “I don’t know who that could be.”

“What was in the envelope?” Jessica asked.

“Look for yourself. I can’t really tell what it is.”

More curious than ever, and since she hadn’t been the one to actually open the envelope, Jessica didn’t feel so bad about taking a peek. She looked inside and saw a CD case, then reached in and pulled it out. The case didn’t have a label—neither did the CD inside. “I can’t tell what’s on it.”

“Well, you’re the computer person,” Ellen said. “Can you find out for me?”

“Sure.” Jessica tried to hide the mixture of reluctance and intense curiosity she felt as she dropped the envelope, with the CD inside, into her purse.

As Jessica continued visiting she tried not to think about the CD, but the more she tried not to think about it, the more she wanted to get home and put it in her computer to take a look. Finally her aunt announced that the physical therapy session had tired her out and she wanted to take a nap.

“I’ll come by tomorrow before I head home,” Debra said.

They said their good-byes and left.

Jessica and her mother arrived back at the house and went inside.
 

Debra laughed. “I kind of like the idea of a nap. You don’t mind, do you?”

All Jessica could think about was seeing what was on the CD. “No, I have some work I need to do anyway.”

“Okay. Maybe when I wake up I can take you to dinner.”

Jessica smiled. “That would be nice.” She watched her mother walk up the stairs toward her room, then went straight to her computer. The disc loaded quickly and Jessica saw thumbnail images of pictures lined up in neat rows. She double-clicked on the first one.

Trees covered in red and gold leaves filled the background. A black bench with wrought-iron armrests sprawled beneath them. But the thing that really grabbed Jessica’s attention was Melanie, reclining on the bench, her golden hair flowing behind her, a provocative smile on her face.

Jessica clicked through the next few pictures and saw they were all of Melanie; some on the same bench in different poses, others in other places within the same park-like setting. As Jessica scrolled through the pictures she realized why the place seemed so familiar. It was the same place she and Kyle had had their wedding announcement photos taken.

Jessica continued looking through the photos and finally came to one that was not of Melanie. But when she saw who was in the picture, she gasped. It was Kyle, but in the photo he held a girl who looked about two-years-old.
 

Is he a father?
 

The idea had never occurred to her. But it was certainly a possibility, she realized. She looked through the rest of the images and saw there were a few more of Kyle and the little girl, some of the child by herself and some of Melanie and the child. Though most of the pictures were of Melanie by herself, there were also a few of Kyle, Melanie and the child.
 

They make a beautiful family, Jessica thought, her heart feeling like it was being crushed.

Ejecting the disc, Jessica placed it back in the case, then dropped it into the padded envelope. She held it for a moment, her thoughts spinning, then put it into one of the desk drawers, sliding it closed.

What was so important about those pictures that Melanie had to drop them off and couldn’t wait until she came back from her trip to give them to Kyle? How serious was Kyle’s relationship with Melanie? Why did Kyle take Melanie to that particular park to take pictures of her? And most importantly, was the little girl his?

When Jessica imagined Kyle as a father to another woman’s children, jealousy churned in her stomach. During their engagement she had mentally planned their future, and children had figured prominently in that plan. When he’d left so abruptly that future had ceased to exist for her, which was just one aspect of the crushing devastation she’d felt at his departure.

Now, seeing photos of him with a child and another woman brought back the feelings of desolation once again.
 

“What’s wrong, Jessica?”

Jessica jerked her head up and saw her mother standing there. “I thought you were going to take a nap.”

“I couldn’t fall asleep and I was starting to feel hungry. Are you okay? You look pale.”

Jessica touched her face with one hand, hoping her feelings weren’t too obvious. “I’m not feeling very well, Mom. Can I take a rain check on dinner?”

“Of course. Maybe I can make you some soup or something.”

Smiling wanly, Jessica nodded. “I think I’m going to lie down for a while.”

“I’ll bring some soup up to you in a bit.”

“Okay.” She pushed back from the desk and trudged up the stairs to her room, changed into a pair of sweats and a comfortable t-shirt, then climbed under the covers. Closing her eyes, Jessica tried to force her thoughts away from Kyle, but found the harder she tried to think of other things, the more other things led to thoughts of him.

As she lay on her side she felt a familiar despair beginning to settle over her like a heavy blanket. “Oh no,” she moaned. I can’t go through that again. I can’t allow Kyle’s actions to rule my life.

Pushing the covers off and sitting up in bed, the coolness of the room washed over the bare skin on her arms and face, raising goose bumps. She shivered, but the movement helped to shift the direction of her thoughts.

I’m in control of my life, she thought. Not Kyle. He’s moved on and now I must too. If he’s a father now, then that’s just how it is. I can still have children. It will just be with someone else.