Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (36 page)

“I can’t imagine your Emily would let you
get away with saying that in her presence.”

Tory laughed, “God no. Are you kidding? She
would say it was men who needed supervision. What I meant was that
a gifted, hard-working woman should never be unattended when she is
just starting her career. How are things monetarily with your
current employment?”

“Oh. Well, in fairness, I haven’t asked for
an increase. Yet.”

“No. However, you are doing the work of a
Senior Researcher, or even Research Manager, if what I hear is
true, and getting paid like a newly hired analyst.”

Who’s he been talking
to
? “True, but I’ve just proven myself and
now have a bartering chip.”

“You are loyal, I see. Another good quality.
But this is business. You need to look toward your best
interest.”

“How would you feel if an employee of yours
was stolen by someone else?”

“I would feel like I missed something, find
out what the employee is really worth, and possibly make a
counter-offer. I am an excellent judge of worth, Miss
Marshall.”

“And probably even better at figuring out
what an employee will settle for?”

Mr. Hartling laughed, “Yes, exactly. So you
must judge whose hands you are safest in.”

“Well, I trust Sean implicitly. I trust him
to fight for what I am really worth. I also trust him to be honest
with me if he can’t get it. He has backed me from the
beginning—made me what I am now. And yes, I am loyal to those loyal
to me. I will stick with him for now and see what he can do.
Besides, you don’t need a researcher.”

“You’re right, I don’t need a researcher.
What I need is a leader who is a good manager, a good debater, and
a loyal asset. Your role would entail meeting with marketing
researchers, like yourself, to determine the value of their work.
You are extremely thorough. I also hear you have overly high
expectations. You would be a real asset to me. You would see
through people like you, and you would eat up anything less.”

That did sound tempting.

He went on, “And as for our young McAdams
making you what you are ... he merely saw you for what you are, and
gave you an opportunity. It shows remarkable insight on his part.
It also shows he is a good manager, and uncommonly good at what he
does. He would be a good asset to acquire, too. Difference between
the two of you is he knows his value. He plays the game. At present
I can’t offer him what he is about to gain. So I have to hold off.
You, however...”

“I, however, am safest with Sean for now. I
owe him a chance to at least make an offer.”

Tory looked at her shrewdly. He was a man
who got what he wanted in business matters. So was Sean. It was one
against the other. The problem was, Tory had deeper pockets.

“Okay. For now, I say okay. But I think I
have tempted you. You are smart, educated and ambitious. You also
have school loans, if I’m not mistaken. Sometimes, at the end of
the day, the important thing becomes paying off your debt.”

And with that, Tory walked away, drink in
hand.

Krista felt drained. Being an adult was
tough stuff sometimes. She didn’t even think he was trying to win
her just yet. It seemed more like he was trying to gauge her, first
to see if she was worth taking, and second, to see what it would
take to get her. She felt elated that he would even be curious.
That had to be something, right?

Krista took her drink and wandered around
until she found the exit, avoiding the dance floor entirely, and
walked out onto a good-sized balcony. She went to the edge, half
thought of throwing herself off, and instead leaned on it and
looked over the city. It was chilly outside—it was always some
state of chilly in San Francisco—but it felt good to have some air.
And some space.

“Krista.”

“AH!
Why
do people insist on sneaking up
on me?!”

Sean stopped next to her at the railing,
humor in his eyes. “It isn’t sneaking so much as walking. You
simply don’t pay attention.”

“Hmm,” she turned back to the night, feeling
comfortable with his presence next to her.

“I saw Tory talking to you.”

“He is trying to claim me for his second
wife.”

“I am aware he is trying to claim you. I am
also aware of why you turned him down. So far. Judy overheard.”

“Jesus
. Judy and Marcus chose the wrong profession. They should be
private eyes. But Tory hasn’t offered me anything. There was
nothing to turn down. I figured I would say something to you, and
see what you said.”

“Do you really trust me that much, Krista?
After what I have done to you?”

This stopped her up short. It wasn’t the
direction she thought he would go.

“Look, Sean... In answer to your question,
yes I trust you that much. Of course I do. You’ve never led me
wrong. I trust that.”

“But I have--”

“Sean,
seriously
,” she interrupted testily.
His face was a mask of guilt and pain. It was enough bullshit from
one man for a lifetime. “In matters of the heart, you have your
problems, and they are coming between us, sure, but you are keeping
me away because you think that puts me out of harm’s reach. It
logically doesn’t make sense, because it hurts every time I see you
and can’t touch you, or hold you, or comfort you, but the heart
isn’t logical, and you can’t see how absurd you are being, so I
just have to grin and bear it. It has nothing to do with the kind
of trust I have in you.

“And while we are on the
subject, I slapped you that other night because I could tell you
weren’t yourself, and I wanted you to snap out of it. I could see
that you were slipping into that dark place. If I were a different
woman, a
normal
woman, I wouldn’t have noticed. I would have switched gears
with you and gone with it.

“But I am messed up, too,
Sean. You weren’t hurting me, you were triggering some memories of
the past. And let’s remember, my past has nothing to do with you.
You didn’t force me.
I
was the one that hit
you
. I hurt you. I have no hard
feelings toward you, Sean. It is easy to scare me, and you
don’t.

“I loved you going into that episode, and
guess what, I still love you, Sean. Very much. And yes, I also
still trust you, with my whole heart. So stop thinking I’m
breakable. I think you’re the one breaking. You’re trying to
protect yourself by pushing me away. Not the other way around.”

She wiped a tear away and felt unfinished.
She didn’t know how to finish it off, though, so she went with,
“And make me a good offer so I don’t have to go work for Tory!”

She left Sean on the
balcony with a bewildered expression. In the movies the hero would
have kissed her when she said the ”I love you” bit. Or even after
the ”make me an offer” bit. Total letdown to have to walk
away.
Again
.

At least it was predictable.

She went back in for a while, talked to John
about the location and time of the pool party, and left. She’d said
all she’d needed to say.

Chapter Twenty-Five

The next day, and a bus ride later, she was
walking into a posh hotel in the middle of Marin. The thing about
Marin apparently, thanks to a Google search, was that it had a
bunch of rich people. The property value was high and many of the
people drove expensive cars and monstrous SUVs. The other thing was
that the weather was gorgeous. It wasn’t summer anymore—fall
actually—but the day was still warm, the sky still clear, and the
sun still going strong. Some hated California because it didn’t
have proper seasons, but Krista hated the cold—she was happy enough
for eternal good weather.

As ordered, there was champagne and
strawberries waiting for her in her room. Also a bouquet of
flowers. The dressings were a rich beige, the walls were eggshell
white, the art abstract but nice for a hotel, and the bed like a
cloud. It wasn’t even that expensive! She got a deal on Priceline,
and until that second, she hadn’t realized what an absolutely great
deal it was.

After she took a long shower, put on her
summery clothes—complete with a light sweater for the evening—she
sauntered downstairs to grab a cab. She was determined to stay on
her own time today. She was relaxed and content, and wanted to stay
that way as long as possible before she saw Sean.

When she arrived at the
house that would host the party, she nearly held her breath. It was
freaking gi-
normous
! It looked like a celebrity’s house! The long driveway
leading up was lined with grass and trees, there was a round
driveway to turn around, adorned with extremely expensive looking
cars—was that a
Ferrari???
—and a fountain in front
of a grand staircase leading up to the front door.

A little stress as CEO. was definitely worth
this crib! It was absolutely unreal!

Krista exited the cab by the curb and walked
up. She didn’t need a Ferrari driver knowing she still didn’t own a
car. He wouldn’t know what school and credit card debt did to a
girl’s spending money.

When the cab was out of sight, she climbed
the wide expanse of stairs between artfully sculpted bushes and
beautifully blooming flowers. She stuck her finger out and
nervously rang the bell. Then looked around. She flat out wasn’t
used to this much money. Or people with this much money. It made
her suddenly rethink her outfit—it was cute and trendy when she put
it on, but now it seemed too young. And poor.

The large, heavy oak door opened to an older
man with white hair, wrinkles, white gloves and a black suit. If
they were going for a game of Clue, the guy totally looked the
part. Krista very nearly called him Jeeves, but when he had an
American accent, that sentiment went down the tubes.

The person who might’ve been called Jeeves
said, “Right this way, please.”

Krista silently walked through the biggest
private residence doorway in the world, through a garden of marble,
through a long, wide, artfully decorated hallway with paintings and
lights and tables and all such things that weren’t needed or
necessary in a hallway, up a wide flight of stairs lined with a
plush-looking rug, and through another hallway with more paintings
and decorations. Through this journey, Fake Jeeves kept at a
measured pace so that she might check out the art. When he led her
up the giant staircase, she got a bit nervous—whose back yard was
on the second level? Was this a joke on the poor kid? Did she have
to put on a uniform and clean a room before she was allowed down to
the party?

It all became clear when she emerged onto a
wide balcony in a blast of sunlight. Along each side of the large,
round area were welcoming balloons attached to tables with
beverages and fruit and shrimp and finger foods and staff standing
by. Krista’s sweater was traded for a glass of champagne—it was
explained that the glass was actually plastic and she should not
hesitate to throw it away when finished with it—and offered snacks
and sandwiches and chocolate treats. With plate in hand, she was
then shown the staircase leading down, which wasn’t as big as the
one coming up, because the back yard was in levels. It would have
been a continual slope up if certain parts weren’t flattened to
keep the water in the giant pool, or the barbecue from rolling
away.

~*~*~*~

Sean exited the pool to an
awaiting horde of girls. If he needed an ego boost, he was in the
right place. He wasn’t allowed to do anything for himself; his
drink was guarded, and then handed to him. His plate of appetizers
was continually refreshed, and his towel was periodically swapped
for a dry one. It was like having twenty maids. Twenty mostly
naked, young, bouncing-
boobed
maids. He could think of worse things.

And then he didn’t have to, because one of
the girls would open her mouth. They were all oh-so-young. Most
were probably barely legal. What their parents were doing letting
them hang out with a guy ten years their senior he had no idea, but
he actually wished they’d put a stop to it. They were ditzy and
peppy and they never shut up.

“Sean! Oh my God, your phone was ringing!”
One of the blond ones said as she bounced up and put his phone in
his hand.

Sean watched her breasts settle, feeling a
bit like a creepy old man, and glanced at his phone. It was
probably John trying to call him over to talk business. And while
there were a great many connections to be made at the party, he
wasn’t in the mood. Krista would be hanging near the pool, and so
he would stay.

Checking, he saw that it was actually Kate.
Fearing she was planning on calling in sick on Krista’s behalf, he
dialed her back.

“Sean
?!”

Kate sounded frantic.

“Yeah, hi Kate. I just missed your—“

“Sean, is Krista near you? Do you see her?
Is she there—you’re at the barbecue right? In Marin?”

“It wasn’t him, Kate!” Jasmine yelled in the
background. “He was too big.”

“He
wasn’t
too big, Jasmine. That’s his
size!”

“Kate?” Sean asked, stepping away from the
pool and the twenty listening girls.

“Sean, yes, hi. Is Krista there?”

Sean did another scan of the area. He’d been
watching for her since he got there an hour ago. “No, I haven’t
seen her. Why? Isn’t she coming?”

“You haven’t seen her?” Kate sounded like
she was terrified.

“No—what’s wrong? What’s going on?”