Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (16 page)

“Not tonight. A home-cooked meal is best for
the flu, I think.”

Smiling, she did as she was told. She wasn’t
an expert in the kitchen, but she did know enough to get a hot
dinner on the table. Eating out was expensive.

“Does Marcus know we live so close to each
other?” She didn’t bother to look up in case she might cut off a
finger.

“No one knows I live out here, actually.
It’s not something anyone really asks.”

“So he doesn’t know we spend so much time
together?”

After finishing her carrot, she belatedly
realized she hadn’t gotten a response. She glanced up to see if
Sean was in the middle of some cooking extravaganza and saw that he
was braced against the counter again, looking at her with eyes that
went all the way to his soul. They contained equal parts longing
and wariness.

“What?” she asked in
confusion. “I’m not saying spending time, as in, like,
you know
. I’m just
saying
hanging out
. Like you and Ray. Or me and Ben. You know,
chums.”

There was a silent beat, then he said, “No.
No one knows. I think it’s probably better that way.”

Sean’s words were clipped and precise. It
was not something he wanted to discuss. It was a book he wanted
shut.

Krista lowered her head back to the chopping
board. She got that he didn’t want to share intimacy. She’d shut
him down physically twice now. Plus, she just dumped a whole lot of
baggage on his doorstep with stories from the past. But the fact
that he didn’t want anyone to know they were friends was a jolt.
Keeping this hush-hush, as innocent as it was, meant he thought he
was doing something wrong. It meant he was hiding her from
everyone, like she was an embarrassing little secret.

Suddenly she just wanted to
go home. She didn’t want to play on this emotional battlefield
anymore. She had known plenty of bosses who hung out with their
subordinates, and he wasn’t even her boss. Christ, he had sex with
a co-worker, but he was worried about being
friends
?

“
Krista, I just think
people would get the wrong idea. I have a reputation, you know? I
would hate for those kinds of rumors to be spread about
you.”

She shrugged, “No problem. I hadn’t said
anything before now because I hadn’t thought it was a big deal.
Continuing not to say anything is equally not a big deal.” She
marveled at how light her voice sounded. Maybe she should be the
actor.

Sean didn’t say anything else, and Krista
didn’t look up to see his reaction. He turned on some music, and
they made the rest of the dinner with light words and small talk.
He made chicken soup, which turned out to be the best chicken soup
Krista had ever tasted. She said as much.

They were on the couch at that point,
watching sports highlights. It wasn’t something Krista ever cared
to watch, but she also didn’t care enough to get him to change the
channel. She wasn’t a big TV watcher anyway.

Sean looked over at her
with a small smile and a thank you. His eyes were soft. He
obviously felt sorry for their conversation earlier. It didn’t
change the fact that it was true. That he was hiding his friendship
with her. And one thing was for sure, Krista was
not
okay with being
anyone’s dirty little secret.

Speaking of dirty little secrets-- “What
ever happened to Ben’s painting, by the way?”

Sean looked up from his bowl with guilty
eyes. “I… haven’t put it up yet. I need to clear a space.”

Krista looked down at her
soup. What she wanted to say was:
I bet
you would have it up if it didn’t have anything to do with
me.
“Oh.”

“I want to move the furniture around and
everything.”

“Sure. Makes sense.”

Sean left it, uncomfortably, at that. Krista
finished her soup.

Words that needed to be said weren’t.
Explanations were not forthcoming. Krista’s heart started to sink,
as it did so often in Sean’s company. This game was starting to get
old. He’d been after her whole hog until he learned more about her,
and now he was driving distance between them while trying to keep
her a secret. It was weird and messed up and so unfair.

Although, with Krista’s life, it was par for
the course. She had no idea why she was surprised anymore.

Chapter Ten

A week passed in a haze of work, thankfully
leaving no time for any more uncomfortable and shaming dinners.
Kate was lightening the load dramatically, but still, she was only
one girl. What made it worse was that she got “help” from her
research department that a monkey wouldn’t accept. Appealing for
help from John only landed her in hot water, John making the point
that since she’d so graciously acknowledged he couldn’t get proper
work out of them, that she could. Right?

His smile had cleverly hid a razor
blade.

Monday morning, more than a week after the
uncomfortable dinner with Sean, after which they parted ways amid
thick silences and wary looks, Krista had just finished a
depressing meeting with Mr. Montgomery, in which she tried to shame
him, push him, and then finally threatened him with the knowledge
that she was the research star at the moment, and he was barely
hanging on to his job, she’d slunk into Marcus with post-meeting
gossip.

Strangely, Marcus was quiet. It was very
uncharacteristic of him. He was, instead, looking with intense
focus at his computer.

“Are you sick?” Krista asked as she
approached.

He jumped about ten feet.
“Geegee,
cripes
,
sneak up on a guy...”

He only spared her a glance, and then turned
back to the screen.

“Well, I was going to give you some gossip
first-hand, and also look busy and important, but if you want to
miss the goods...”

He gave her the index
finger, implying she should wait, finished reading, then turned to
her with a smile. “I was just finishing the account of what the
meeting sounded like from
outside
the office. Fill me in!”

“How--” she looked at his screen and saw it
was an email from some name she didn’t recognize. “It wasn’t nearly
that bad—but I did threaten him with termination.”

“I heard! Yelled it more like! How’d he take
it?”

Krista shook her head, completely
embarrassed. Kate and Jasmine hadn’t been kidding at the barbecue,
she tended to get a little…riled up when things didn’t go her way
in a pressured setting. “He…wasn’t pleased…”

“
You are one tough and
scary bitch! I’m glad you’re on my side,” he said, his lips lifting
slowly into a languid smile.

“Yeah but, what about the
bluff and all that? I mean, Mr. Montgomery was
pissed!
Beyond pissed,
actually!”

Marcus sat back and laughed with glee. “I
bet! The lowest on the totem pole made him look like a baboon. But
who can he complain to? His boss won’t listen because right now you
are the most important researcher we have.”

“Well, I scared two of them. But if they
find out I totally bluffed then all for naught, you know?”

“We’ll just have to keep the rumor-mill
focused then, won’t we?” Marcus said in delight.

Just then his phone rang. He checked to see
who it was, grimaced and picked up. “Marcus at your service,
Captain—images are almost done, before you ask... Seriously, within
the hour... Just Krista...Yup, okay.” Then he hung up and shook his
head.

“That man knows me too well. If I dally on
anything he is calling me. If I refuse to answer, he comes down in
person and breaks up the party. It is really killing my social
life!”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Krista laughed.

Marcus shrugged in that easy way he had.
“Captain wants you to report to the wheelhouse.”

“Ugh, I can’t handle any
more work. Seriously, I am about to rupture, and I don’t
even
have
a
social life.”

“Whining doesn’t become you, dearest.
Besides, you can get the dirt on him.”

Krista paused halfway to standing. “What do
you mean?”

“He looks really tired but
he leaves by 6 every night. He is never here on Saturdays, only
Sundays, but seems to work from somewhere else. What’s more, he is
secretive about what--or
who
—he’s doing.”

Krista hadn’t noticed any of this. Ever
since she’d come to the conclusion she was his dirty little secret,
she hadn’t had much to do with him at all outside of work. While at
work it wasn’t much better—he seemed to know something was amiss,
but obviously didn’t have a clue as to what it was. Instead of
asking, like an adult, so they could discuss it—even though she
really didn’t want to—he tried to beguile her. Or manipulate her.
He had no end of tactics, and Krista had only one response:
Ignoring him and doing her work, secretly smiling that she was
driving him crazy.

No, she wasn’t being much of an adult
either, but he started it!

“
Does anyone you know have
those same hours? Like Monica for example?” Krista asked
hesitantly.

She shouldn’t care who he
was seeing.
Shouldn’t
being the operative word
.

“No! I thought it might be Jennifer from
Accounting. She’s cute and available--also has moon eyes for him.
Always trying to get him alone, cornered, what have you. But I’ve
seen her stay a few times when Sean has definitely left early.”

“Then it has to be someone outside the
office. But...it seems a little regular for a girlfriend, doesn’t
it?”

“Maybe he has finally
fallen in
l’amore
. He is staying up late doing the nasty, leaving on time to
get to her house—it’s plausible. I was like that with my boyfriend
at first.”

“Which one?” Krista said sarcastically, to
which Marcus just laughed. “Hmmm. I don’t know. I would say I’ll
sniff around, but we don’t really talk all that much. Not even at
work.” Krista couldn’t hide the pout in her voice.

Marcus laughed all the
harder. “Oh poor thing! You aren’t the favorite
anymore? Now you’re on the same level as the rest of us, huh?
The young stud is tired of your beauty?”

Krista huffed, “Shut up. It’s no wonder,
though. How can I look pretty when I don’t even have time to
shower?”

“True statement.” Marcus’s phone rang again.
He looked at the caller ID, got panicked, and yelled at her. “Go!
Hurry! Get up to his office before he comes down here!”

As Krista walked out of the art department a
few people glanced up, saw it was her, and stared. After she passed
they quickly turned to their keyboards. The rumor mill had begun,
and this time she was undoubtedly the center of attention.

Joy.

She just hoped she came out on top.

More pressing matters
concerned Sean, though. Who was he seeing? She knew why it was a
secret—so it wouldn’t get back to her. Maybe that’s the reason he
didn’t want it known they were hanging out. Maybe it
was
someone at
work.

She reached his office and knocked. He had a
rumpled shirt on and jeans. There were bags under his eyes and his
hair was disheveled, but he seemed more relaxed somehow. Tired, but
content. He seemed at peace with himself.

It could be surfing. She knew surfing helped
him find his Chi, Qi, or whatever.

But he had always done that. And he wouldn’t
leave work regularly for it.

Sex would do it, though.

But would he leave work regularly for booty?
Maybe a few days a week, but every day?

Of course, Marcus didn’t
come up here every day. Maybe it
was
a few times a week and Marcus
was exaggerating.

Oh God,
did he have a girlfriend?

He looked up and caught her stare. His brow
furrowed as he gestured for her to sit.

“How did it go?” he asked.

“Are you seeing someone?” she blurted. Then
winced. She had a hard time keeping the lid on her mouth when she
was tired.

He stared at her, hard. “Why are you asking
me this?”

That wasn’t what she thought he would say.
She thought he would say that it was none of her business, thank
you very much. Or maybe answer the question. Or a joke,
perhaps?

It was true, per their working agreement of
staying out of each other’s sexual lives, created at their first
meeting, she had crossed the line. But it wasn’t like she was
tap-dancing across it or anything. She just barely stuck a toe
over. It’s not like she was asking if he’d slept with the whole art
department.

Still. She didn’t like that evil stare. “I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean to ask. Truly. I’m sorry. Forget I said
anything. Uh...the meeting went--”

“Why are you asking?” he asked again, his
eyes intense.

“I--it’s nothing. Just that some people were
wondering why you leave at certain times, and why you look so
tired. Stuff like that. Then I noticed you seem content, uh,
relaxed. You know. But I didn’t mean to voice that thought. It is
none of my business. Sorry. Let’s move on.” The hole she was
digging for herself was nice and big. She could now just lie down
and bury herself peacefully.

“
Which people?”

“Honestly, Sean, it is no big deal. It isn’t
anyone’s business. I didn’t mean to ask. I don’t even want to know.
Can we just--can I just tell you about the meeting?”

“I thought you were over gossiping about
me?”