Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2) (52 page)

In the afternoon she had a final clean-out
of her desk. She had planned to meet everyone for drinks after
work, was already buzzed from the art department ”special”’ punch,
and was thinking of Sean when Marcus walked in.

“Geegee,” he said, sinking into the visitor
chair.

“Hey Marcus, how’s it going?”

“Great. Good party. I had a hand in it,
obviously.”

“Oh obviously, yeah. That was what I was
thinking. I said to myself, ‘Wow, this is sure nice. It must have
been Marcus’s doing’.”

Marcus laughed and nodded. “So, when are you
heading down there?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Aren’t you taking any time
off?”

“Yes, actually. I am taking a week once I
get there to get set up.”

“Oh. You taking anyone along?”

“Nope. All on my own. I need a week to cry
before I start work.”

Marcus nodded, “He’s really not going, huh?
Hasn’t changed his mind?”

Krista sagged into her chair as her tear
ducts went active. “He can’t. He has to stay. His house, his sister
coming—her job had already transferred her here and she wouldn’t be
able to get another transfer before a year, earliest—his job…”

“And you aren’t going to keep it going until
you’re sure Jim is really gone?”

“Gone where? He’s in jail now, but he’ll get
out. He’ll come back. That isn’t even a maybe. He’ll come looking
for me, and if I’m with Sean, for him, too. I have to go. And this
time, I’ll change my name. Hopefully that’ll throw him off.
Hopefully he won’t go for Sean if I’m not around.”

“I think Sean can handle him, but what about
when Sean gets the title? Can’t he move after?”

Tears overflowed as Krista shrugged, “I
guess not. He seemed pretty adamant about the split. He gave a lot
of reasons…”

“Huh.”

“It’s what he wants.”

“Clean break. And he thinks it’s for the
best? Really?”

Krista shrugged again. She wanted to keep it
alive. She loved Sean with her whole heart. Everything about him
she loved. She wanted to be with him every second. The depth of her
feelings was a first for her. She could not imagine saying goodbye.
But he was firm in the decision, so she had to respect that.

“When are you starting?” she asked to change
the subject. Thankfully, he let her.

“Next month. I had more things to tie off
here before I could get everything in order.”

“Oh, right.”

“What area did you settle on?” Marcus
asked.

“Venice. The commute won’t be awesome, but I
am finally going to learn to surf!”

Marcus flashed her his striking smile. He
had recently whitened his teeth so there was a pleasing contrast
between his winning smile and his handsome face. No wonder he drove
the boys mad.

“How many bedrooms?”

“Two. Why, you planning a visit
already?”

“Yes! I hear the boys by the beach are
gorgeous! I chose to live in West Hollywood.”

“Wait…” Krista thought over what she’d just
heard. “
What?
You are moving down there?” Her heart started
to thud.

“You aren’t connected with the hub, Geegee.
How would you survive without me?”

Krista bounded off her chair and flew around
the desk. She threw herself into his lap. He wasn’t expecting the
force of it and both of them went over onto the floor.

“Gee—“ Marcus got himself up and
straightened his clothes before he helped her up. “You are
attractive, but I am still gay, honey.”

She laughed at him, “When was this
decided?”

“When I signed. Tory said you were going to
the L.A. branch. He was discreet, but I knew why, of course. I
already knew Ben was going. He said he wanted to keep us together
so he offered a sweet little relocation bump and I was sold. Hell,
girl, I’ve done San Francisco. Bring on L.A.!”

“Slut!
Yay!
You are going to have to
build a whole new Dark Hub.” Krista shook her head at the horror of
it.

“Oh,” Marcus waved that thought away, “the
hardest part will be dimming the lights. I’m a pro at
networking.”

It was at that moment that Kate walked in,
thunder and storm clouds, like she usually was these days. It did
not sit well with her what Sean was doing, which in her opinion,
was taking the cowardly way out. She’d been chomping at the bit to
have a serious discussion with him ever since she’d heard.

“Krista,” Kate stated as she took a
seat.

“What, don’t I rate high enough for a
hello?” Marcus asked, mock offended. He knew Kate’s M.O. these
days, and was probably excited for the tirade he knew was
coming.

She turned to him. “Hello.”

“Well, hi Kate, so nice you could stop in,”
he responded pleasantly.

She rolled her eyes and turned back to
Krista. “I’ve just come from talking to your soon-to-be
ex-boyfriend, which you ardently love. And that ardently loves you,
but is too chicken-shit to man up. Do you know what that asshole
said to me?”

“Butt-out?” Marcus fluttered his eyelashes
at Kate’s hostile stare.

“Yes, in so many words!” Kate scoffed. “Can
you believe that? I mean, let’s just break this down, Krista,
because I can’t be the only intelligent person in this
threesome.”

“Kate, we’ve been over this—“

Kate cut Krista off. “No, we are going to
talk about each point, and then you are going to go beat his head
against the wall until it gets through, and then you’ll get your
happily-fucking-ever-after, got that?”

“You sound angry…” Marcus smiled when Kate
threw him a
look
that promised pain.

“We’ll do the dumb ones first.” Kate ticked
off her pointer finger. “He is afraid Jim will find you through
him. But Jim probably has no clue what his last name is. He
certainly doesn’t know where Sean lives. And oh, he
does
know Jasmine and my last names, and we are
also
a way to
find you. What a dumb-fucking reason.”

She ticked off her second finger. “He can’t
move to L.A.? Okay, yes, that makes sense. He has a house, I get
that. But Cassie can get transferred again and Sean can eventually
work it out after he gets Junior V.P.”

“Just to play the devil’s advocate,” Marcus
said, a touch more seriously. “He doesn’t know when he can get that
title. Not with any assurance. It could be
years.
He’d be
stringing Krista along for all that time. Plus, the housing market
is in a slump. Selling right now is a great way to take a
loss.”

“You guys…” Krista whined.

“Three,” Kate said, arguing with Marcus now,
“we all know he’s just punking out with goodbye. We
know
it,
Marcus. That’s his deal. Go running when things get tough, right?
Because that fucking guy could absolutely do some long distance.
It’s like, an
hour
plane ride. What the hell? He makes
enough.”

“You guys, stop,” Krista said, wiping away a
tear. “I’ve talked to him about all this, okay? This is what he
wants. I didn’t want to ruin the little time we had fighting.”

“No, this isn’t what he wants, Krista,” Kate
stated. “He doesn’t know what he wants.”

“What do you want me to say, Kate?” Krista
asked dejectedly. “He broke up with me. He doesn’t want to keep it
up. He’s repeated himself enough times that now I look like a fool
begging
him not to dump me. I do have some pride.”

Tears made streaks down Krista’s face.
Kate’s temper deflated and she slumped, the last of her fight gone
out of her.

“Honey, he won’t last forever,” Marcus said
to Krista in a soft voice. “I know that young stud, and while he
can be stubborn, he eventually does see reason. He loves you, and
he’ll find his way back to you. Give it a few months, and you’ll
see. Knowing him, he’ll probably just show up one day like
everything is fine.”

Krista sighed and wiped more tears from her
face. “I hope so.”

“That’s the thing with men, we always know
best, but we have to do it on our terms.”

“Know best, huh? Bunch of bullshit,” Kate
spat.

Marcus fluttered his eyelashes at her
again.

Finally, the day came to say goodbye. Krista
had decided to drive the rental truck down. She wanted to see the
coast. She also wanted eight or so hours in which to cry before she
got to her lonely new home. Ben, who chose to live closer to work,
had to finish out some things with school and his parents before he
headed down. He was planning on flying.

Krista was double-parked in front of her
house, dreading getting into the truck. Dreading leaving her
friends and her boyfriend behind.

Kate and Jasmine stepped forward together.
Once again, Kate was pissed, not wanting to show emotion, and
Jasmine cried her eyes out. She gave each hugs and watched them
stand aside.

Ben told her he would see her in a couple
weeks with a giant smile. He was excited to move. Abbey was nowhere
to be found.

The last person to say goodbye was Sean. He
stood a little away from the rental truck with his hands in his
pockets. He was facing the ocean, the breeze ruffling his hair.
Krista went up to stand beside him, tears already in her eyes.

“Well,” she said quietly.

Sean turned to her, his eyes glassy, “This
sucks Krista.”

She nodded, tears flowing. Sean stepped
closer and put his arms around her. They stood there for a long
time, neither of them knowing what to say, but not wanting to say
goodbye.

Finally, Sean backed away. He looked deeply
into her eyes, exposing his soul. “I love you so much, Krista. I’ll
miss you. Please find someone who will take care of you, okay?” He
stopped and looked away out to the ocean. He was losing
control.

He finally shook his head and crushed her to
his hard chest. She cried, grabbing onto him, wishing there was
some way to make this right, but knowing there wasn’t. They stayed
like that for a second, or maybe it was an eternity, until with one
final squeeze, Sean loosened his arms and walked away. He didn’t
turn towards home; he went straight to the ocean. Straight to his
sanctuary.

Krista watched him walk away. She let him.
Maybe because of her own lingering doubts that she wasn’t enough to
make him overcome his fears. Or maybe out of pain that he could let
her go. She quietly got in the truck and started the slow journey
toward her new life, hoping beyond hope that Marcus was right. That
this wasn’t really goodbye.

The End

****

The story continues in:

Butterflies in
Honey, Book 3

Krista has settled into her new job in L.A.
gloriously, moving up the ladder and earning a great reputation for
herself. But since she and Sean parted ways, she has felt like half
a person; a shell of the girl she was when she left San Francisco.
It isn’t until her job takes her back to San Francisco that she
sees him again, the one that got away. It’s like looking into her
soul as she meets those startling green eyes again. She realizes,
without a doubt, that she still loves him as much as she ever
did.

Sean has spent the last couple years working
like a demon, achieving and reaching for the stars, but with
nothing to look forward to. He let his salvation walk away, and let
his own fears and problems keep him from going after her. When he
meets her again he is plagued with his love for her, thinking that
she has moved on. When he finds out she still loves him, he decides
to make matters right, and finally go after her.

It isn’t until the two are working together
again that they realize true love is a winding road that comes at a
cost. Sean and Krista will not only struggle with trust and
obstacles to be together, they must face the landscape of the
company they now work for, an establishment that promotes men over
women, and that threatens to pigeonhole Krista from the get-go. It
will take the two learning to fight together again to overcome and
triumph.

Excerpt:

Sean sat at his desk looking out the window.
She was coming to San Francisco. She would be here tomorrow. She
would be in the same room, breathing the same air, in less than
twenty-four hours. Sean’s chest was nearly exploding. He wasn’t
quite sure how he felt about it. She had someone else now. She’d
had someone else for a whole year. Someone constant. A man that
treated her well and bought her things. Sean had seen a picture—the
man was attractive.

She had moved on.

“Daydreaming?” Ray asked as he walked
in.

Sean startled and looked at Ray. “Just
thinking.”

Ray nodded. “Are we ready for tomorrow?”

Ray had barely aged in the last two years.
Unlike Sean, Ray refused to work crazy hours. He refused to give
his free time to an employer. He had a family to get back to at the
end of the day. And while Sean had Cassie, she had friends and
occasional boyfriends and a life, she was often elsewhere when Sean
got home. All that awaited him was an empty house and an occasional
unfulfilling lover.

Sean rubbed his eyes. He was tired, on a
great many levels. “As ready as we’ll ever be. I doubt they will
use us.”

“Then why the meeting?”

Sean looked out the window again. “You know
why. Tory is trying to moonlight me.”

“More money?”

“Yes.”

“Better title?”

Sean nodded.

“Then take the job and stay in San
Francisco. You won’t need to see her that way.”

Sean’s heart fell, but he nodded. Ray had
been increasingly worried about him since Krista left. When Sean
started working like a fiend, Ray tried to slow him down. Ray
invited him over often, trying to get Cassie to prod him into
accepting. It hadn’t worked. Especially since Cassie was still mad
at him for letting Krista go. One would think Cassie was the one
going through the breakup.