Overnight Male (12 page)

“Thank you for helping me out tonight, Joel.”

Except that.

The remark surprised him, and not just because he could tell the words didn’t come easily for her, something that only made them nicer to hear. As was the sound of his name spoken in her voice. She rarely addressed him by name. Technically, shouldn’t be doing so now—not that he cared. And never with the…affection? Oh, surely not. Never with…whatever it was she used just then. A ribbon of pleasure unwound inside him, chasing away what was left of the acid from the episode with Chuck.

“You’re welcome,” he said for the second time.

She hadn’t looked at him since coming out of the bathroom, but she turned to him now and gazed at his face unflinchingly. He’d gotten so used to seeing her in the dark eye makeup she wore for Jenny that seeing her without it now was almost jarring. Once again he was overcome by how little she resembled the Lila Moreau legend. She looked so fresh, so innocent, so easygoing. He supposed he was going to have to amend his idea of the Lila Moreau legend.

“I had a good time tonight,” she said, smiling.

She couldn’t have surprised him more if she’d just announced that his hair was on fire.

His expression must have made that obvious, because she laughed and added, “Well, I did. I never got to go to parties in college. Had I realized what I was missing out on, I would have taken a couple of nights off from work here and there. I just didn’t think I was missing out on anything.” She sighed. “Then again, why should college be any different? I missed out on a lot of stuff growing up.”

Her voice was matter-of-fact when she voiced the sentiment, not whiny or hurt or angry or pathetic or a host of other things it could have been—justifiably, at that. She was simply stating what was what. That her life had been the sort that hadn’t planted particularly happy memories in her brain.

She sipped her tea again, and as she lifted her head a strand of damp hair fell forward to lodge against her cheek. Before he realized he was doing it—and before Lila had a chance to do it herself—Joel lifted his hand to brush it away and tuck it behind her ear. She flinched at first, jerking her head away from him so quickly that his hand stayed where it was, unmoving. For a second she looked at him as if he’d done something to hurt her. But only for a second. Then her features softened the way they had when she saw the tea. But her eyebrows knitted downward, almost in confusion. And then, incredibly, she leaned back in again, until her cheek was pressed lightly against his palm.

Joel’s heart rate doubled at the contact, heat exploded in his belly and he suddenly felt a little light-headed. It was the most innocent sort of touch in the world, but his entire body responded as if she’d tucked her hand between his legs and stroked him. Her skin was warm and silky against his palm, and she smelled of Ivory soap. Clean. Uncorrupted. Pure. He was afraid to move, afraid she might move, too, if he did. So he only left his hand where it was, cupping her cheek gently, his fingertips skimming the damp hair near her ears, and…touched her.

“You should have had some frat parties in college,” he said softly. “You should have had a lot of things you didn’t get, Lila. You should have had a boyfriend named Skip and evening curfews and homecoming mums. You should have had foam solar systems in the school science fair and pool parties at vacation Bible school. You should have had trips to Yosemite in a station wagon with fake wood paneling on the side, and walks to the ice cream store with your best friend Patsy. You should have lived out every Norman Rockwell painting you’ve ever seen. And I’m really sorry you didn’t.”

The sap level in that speech, he thought, was off the charts. But he couldn’t help it. Lila
should
have had those things. She shouldn’t have had to grow up the way she did. No one should. And he really was sorry she’d missed out on so much, while people like him, who’d had more than their fair share of such experiences, had taken them all for granted.

Her eyebrows had arrowed downward even more as he spoke, and he told himself whatever he saw in her eyes was simply a trick of the bad light in the living room. There was no way she could look as sad as she did just then. No way she could be gazing at him the way she was. As if she were looking to him to provide her with some of the experiences he’d just spoken of. As if she wanted to make some new memories, some better ones, with him. So there was no reason for Joel to want to kiss her the way a boyfriend named Skip might have, all nervous and uncertain and innocent. Except for the fact that suddenly, sitting here with Lila, nervous and uncertain and innocent was how he felt.

But then, somehow, he was kissing her, or maybe she was kissing him, their mouths barely touching as their lips danced over each other’s, once, twice, three times, four. And then their noses were nuzzling, and he felt her warm breath against his cheek, ragged and thready, just like his own. And then they were kissing again, but still not touching anywhere else, their mouths gently grazing as their breathing grew more ragged. Joel pulled away once, pressing his forehead to hers, then Lila pushed her body closer and kissed him again.

This time she looped a tentative arm around his neck, and he settled his hand loosely at her waist. She was soft and warm and fragrant from the shower, her skin like silk where his fingers landed. His heart rate quickened until his blood was pulsing through his body with dizzying speed. After that, he couldn’t register much of anything. He was too busy kissing Lila and touching Lila and holding Lila and wanting Lila.

Her scent surrounded him, a mixture of damp and heat and need and woman. He felt her fingers creeping into his hair, her breasts pressing into his chest, her thigh pushing against his. And then, when she crowded herself even closer, and he turned his body into hers, her leg pressed into his swelling cock. She must have recognized his condition, because the kiss became less innocent then. She opened her mouth wide over his, and Joel responded automatically, their tongues tangling as each warred for possession. Lila murmured something against his mouth that sounded needy and demanding, then dropped her hand into his lap, opening her fingers over his fast ripening erection, pushing them down and up and down again.

Oh, God…

It had been so long since a woman had touched him that way, and it was almost more than Joel could bear. He’d promised himself he would do this again only when the woman in question was a big part of his life. And although Lila was certainly that at the moment, she would be gone too soon.

Stop now,
he ordered himself.
Before it’s too late. Before things get out of hand.

But before he could even get a handle on the thoughts tumbling through his brain, Lila had things firmly
in
hand, curving her palm deeper between his legs, cupping him possessively before dragging her fingers along his hard length again. In response, Joel pushed his hand higher, cradling the lower swell of her breast in the valley of his thumb and forefinger before moving higher still, completely covering the soft mound of flesh. When she murmured another soft sound in reply, he closed his fingers gently over her, palming her through the fabric of her shirt, feeling the push of her nipple against the center of his palm. Unable to help himself, he released her only long enough to tuck his hand under her shirt, capturing her again, this time with no fabric to hinder his touch.

Soft. God, she was so soft. He raked his fingers gently over her breast, then caught her taut nipple beneath the pad of his middle finger to draw a slow circle around it. He wanted his mouth there, wanted to taste her tender flesh and flick it with his tongue, wanted to know what kind of sounds she would utter with each new level of her arousal. He wanted her naked and writhing in his bed as he spread her legs wide and licked the musky flesh of her sex. He wanted to watch as she knelt before him and drew his cock into her mouth, pulling him deeper every time she lowered her head. He wanted her beneath him, wanted her astride him, wanted her bent over while he buried himself in her from behind. He wanted to do things with Lila, wanted to do things
to
Lila, that he’d done so many times with so many other women and hadn’t enjoyed for so long. He wanted—

Oh, God, he just
wanted.
So much. Too much. And he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything before. Which was the very reason, he knew, that he had to make sure it stopped now.

As Lila flicked the button of his blue jeans open, Joel dropped his hand from her breast and cupped it over hers. Then he pulled his head back, met her gaze levelly and said very softly, “Don’t.”

She gazed back at him in silence, clearly surprised by his request, but she didn’t move her hand. She was close enough now that he could feel her heart pounding against his own. Her heat, her scent, her breath mixed with his, and if he closed his eyes, he honestly wasn’t sure if he’d be able to tell where she ended and he began.

So he kept his eyes open, pinned on hers, and said, “It, um…it’s not a good time for this, Lila.”

She expelled a quiet sound of disbelief. “It’s always a good time for this.”

Joel said nothing, only continued to meet her gaze, hoping she would just let it go.

But of course she didn’t. Not that he blamed her. Had the tables been turned, he wouldn’t have reacted any differently. She tilted her head to one side, moved her body in a way that sent a shudder of heat from his chest to his groin, and started to push the zipper of his jeans lower.

“Lila, don’t,” he said again.

“Why not?” Although she didn’t push her hand any lower, she didn’t move away from him either. Not that Joel was moving away from her, he reminded himself. No wonder she wasn’t taking him seriously. “It’s pretty obvious we both want to,” she added.

He couldn’t deny that, so he just repeated, “It’s not a good time.”

“Why not?” she asked again. “After the night we had, we deserve to blow off a little steam.”

It was exactly what Joel needed to hear to assure him he was doing the right thing. “And that’s all it would be, right?” he asked. “Blowing off steam?”

Something darted across her expression at the question, making her smile falter, but it moved too quickly for him to identify quite what it was. “Of course,” she said. “What else would it be?”

“And in the morning we’ll just wake up and get back to work?”

She nodded again, but her smile fell some more. “Sure.”

He nodded dispassionately. “Yeah, well, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get involved,” he said lamely.

“We’re not going to get involved,” she told him. “We’re going to have sex.”

It was exactly the opening Joel needed, he told himself. So why didn’t he take it? But instead of explaining to her the promise he’d made to himself, he only repeated, “It’s not a good idea to mix business with pleasure.”

“In this business,” she said, “you have to take your pleasure where you find it.”

With no small effort, he circled his fingers around her wrist and withdrew her hand from his zipper. But he couldn’t quite keep himself from placing a brief, chaste kiss at the center of her palm before settling her hand in her lap. His gaze never leaving hers, he yanked up his zipper and buttoned his jeans, trying not to wince at the discomfort of still being so fully erect. Lila’s shirt was still pushed high enough on her torso to reveal the lower curves of her breasts, and since she was doing nothing to rectify that, Joel reached over and, with great, great regret, tugged the little shirt back into place. Then he dropped his hands into his own lap and met her gaze again.

“You’re serious,” she said softly, incredulously. “You’re really not going to put out.”

He chuckled a little anxiously. “Not on the first date,” he said. “I’m not that kind of boy.”

She eyed him with much interest. “You sure kiss like you’re that kind of boy.”

He said nothing in response to that. He was too busy swelling with manly pride.

Lila scooted over a little, so that their bodies were no longer touching, then crossed her arms over her midsection. “Okay, Joel, what’s up? I think I deserve an explanation. You were as eager as I was a minute ago.” She dropped her gaze blatantly to his groin. “You’re still eager,” she added. She looked at his face again. “What gives? Since, obviously, you won’t.”

He expelled a long, frustrated sound. “Look, I just think it will make things difficult if we add this to an already stressful situation, that’s all.”

“There are those—me—who would argue that having sex might alleviate some of that stress.”

“And there are others—me—who think having sex might just create more. More stress, I mean,” he hastily added. “Not more…sex.”

She said nothing in response to that, only smiled, as if she had absolutely no problem with there being more sex.

Fine, Joel thought. He’d just tell her the ugly truth.

“Look, Lila,” he began, not caring if he called her by name now. They’d done a lousy job of staying in character since the assignment began, and he was tired of trying to be someone he wasn’t—in more ways than one. “I did used to be that kind of boy, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away. I had a very full and active sex life. I know you probably find that hard to believe,” he couldn’t help adding, “that a geek like me ever had a girlfriend, but trust me. I did.”

“I don’t find that hard to believe at all,” she told him.

But she didn’t elaborate. Dammit. So he continued, “In fact, although I was a late bloomer, I more than made up for it once I was finally…ah…plucked.”

Her smile broadened at that, but again she said nothing.

“And I was pretty indiscriminate when it came to partners,” he admitted. “Ultimately, it got to the point where women stopped being women and became something else instead.”

She eyed him thoughtfully now. “What did they become?”

“A receptacle,” he said simply. “A place I could put part of my anatomy into and feel better.”

Now Lila looked confused. “And that was a problem because…?”

He sighed. “Because there comes a time in a person’s life when sex isn’t enough to make you feel better.”