Overture (Rain Dance, Book 1) (Rain Dance Series) (60 page)

     
As we swayed
back and forth with smiles on our faces, I began to wonder how many more times
we would be able to do silly little things like this. We would always care for
one another, of course, but at some point, possibly sooner than later, it would
have to come to an end. I wasn't trying to be mopey - it was just a simple
fact. Unlike me, they would continue to move forward and grow, probably get
married, and then have their own lives with their own family. As always, we
would all end up going our separate ways.

     
I realized now
that I still hadn't included Ethan in any of my future imaginings. It wasn't
because I didn't want to continue being with him, but simply because I just
couldn't imagine any possible future with him. In fact…I still didn't see a
future for myself at all. Beyond the next few weeks, everything else was a
blank page. I did not exist beyond the near future. I didn't feel particularly
sad about this. Again, it was just a fact.

     
Feeling a
little less drunk, I remembered where I was and forced myself back into the
song. And then suddenly it was over. The nostalgia, the memories and
emotions…the thoughts that had played throughout the course of the song…They
were all gone now. It had ended so quickly, it was as though the last five
minutes hadn't happened at all. But that was life, I guess.

     
We remained
quiet as everyone else cheered. Dale reached around Jillian and I and hugged us
tightly. The two of us fit easily into his arms.

     
Jillian blew
some hair out of her face. "Next time, the three of us will just go ahead
and throw our own concert. Right?"

     
"Right," I agreed.

     
Dale kissed her
forehead and gave us both a soft pat on the back, then pulled away, moving to
take Samantha's hand.

     
After a pause,
Jillian slowly turned to me. "But really…you don't have to do anything you
don't want to," she spoke quietly. I noticed Ethan's head turning towards
me, him having been close enough to hear her.

     
"You're
right. But it
is
tradition."

     
She nodded with
a grin and took my hand, standing. "All right, we're both done in
here."

     
"What!?
Bullshit, she has to sing!" Connie complained, earning a death glare from
the man beside me. Rather than explain, I just giggled again and grabbed my bag
and sweater.

     
Dale laughed.
"I'll be out there in a minute."

     
Together,
Jillian and I exited the room and walked hand-in-hand towards where the live
band was playing. A girl was up there singing Taylor Swift. Ignoring the crowd
completely, I headed straight towards the small counter with the hostess to
take a look at the list of songs. There were a lot, but not nearly as many as
there were in the private rooms, which made sense. I needed a song that I would
be able to completely lose myself in. Something that would take over to the
point where I wouldn't have to think - I would only have to do.

     
Call me crazy,
but it was much easier to do it on stage with a band and in an open area than
in an enclosed space sitting just
a few feet away
from staring eyes.
With people
that
close, I wouldn't be able to ignore them. And if I
couldn't ignore them, I would never be able to get a single word out without
going into a panic.

     
I scanned over
the artists listed in alphabetical order, wanting to be careful with my choice,
but also wanting to get it over with quickly. In five seconds I had found my
song - Alan Price's version of 'I Put A Spell On You.' I told the hostess just
as the girl on stage was finishing up.

     
"One
second, please…Alright, you're up next. Have fun." The woman smiled at me.

     
I turned to
Jillian, feeling slightly sick. But at the same time, there was an old,
familiar rush of excitement. As I handed her my things, she kissed me on the
cheek and grinned wickedly. "Just like she said...have fun, Baby. Lots of
fun."

     
Somehow, her
words calmed me. I breathed evenly and headed up the steps, taking a quick peek
at the crowd. Hardly anyone was paying attention, luckily. In the back, I could
see Ethan watching me with a somewhat worried expression. Perhaps he thought I
was about to make a fool of myself. I looked away, trying to forget that he was
even there.

     
There were many
things I was bad at. A great many things. In fact,
most
things I was bad
at. But this wasn't one of them. Dale came along then, choosing a table to sit
at with Samantha. He gave me a thumbs up and sat back in his chair. I didn't
bother looking for the others.

     
I reached the
center of the stage and took the mic off the stand, which I carefully moved out
of the way before turning around to face the band. As I quickly glanced over
their faces, I noted that the bass player was especially cute. I grinned. For
whatever reason, I felt safe here on the stage among this little group.
Together, we would be making magic. They smiled back and began, the keyboardist
opening with the organ.

     
I didn't bother
looking at the screen for the lyrics, as I knew this version by heart. Besides,
I wanted to be able to do it in my own way without any distractions. With my
back turned away from the audience, I began singing. Rather than try and deepen
my voice, I embraced the natural sweetness of it.

     
I smiled in
delight when my favorite chord progression passed over. The hi-hats came in and
I slowly began to move my body. It was a bit difficult to sing while moving,
but it wouldn't stop me. I was confident in my control over my breathing and
vocals. When the other drums kicked in I finally turned around, but I didn't
look at the crowd. It was still too soon for that. Instead, I threw my head
back and spun around, kicking my heels and throwing my arms out - all while
managing to stay in tune. And with some effort, I was able to release the
tension from my throat so I could make the jump to the really high notes,
letting them float into a soft vibrato.

     
When there came
a pause in the lyrics, I went into a spinning frenzy, moving as fast as I could
without falling, throwing out snake arms and hair tosses. There was shimmying,
twists, and even a backbend or two. In order to get enough vocal power to do
justice to the last minute of the song, I had to channel my inner
sense of
desperation
. I didn't stop dancing, not until it was back to just the organ
playing. With one last twist and spin, I fell to my knees and leaned backwards
so only my lower legs and hair touched the ground.

     
Applause broke
out and I remembered that the rest of the world existed. No longer was I drunk.
I was alive. Fearless. It was one of those moments where I was queen. Quickly,
I shot back up onto my knees, my hair whipping around me before settling into
what I could only imagine was a giant mess. I took a deep breath and moved to
get up, looking for the mic stand. As my eyes made their way towards the left
of the stage, I caught sight of a familiar face. A face that would stand out
among any crowd. I froze, feeling my brain, my heart, and my stomach fall out
of my body and onto the ground beneath me.

     
"Oh my
God, Baby!" Jillian called, causing me to look at her automatically. She
was jumping up and down.

     
I turned back
to look at the face again, but it was gone.
Shit. Don't make a scene.
Standing up, I went to place the mic back in its stand while carefully
searching the room. But there was no face.
Had I imagined it? Didn't that
happen when people got drunk? Maybe it was all the spinning. I mean, why would
he be here? Exactly - he wouldn't.
But even if it was just my mind playing
tricks on me, I didn't want to be here anymore. I just wanted to be home,
wherever that was, cuddled up in Ethan's arms. Safe.

     
As soon as I
reached the bottom of the steps, Jillian pulled me into a tight hug.

    
"Holy shit, I
didn't think you'd go all the way this time," she laughed. "Some
people were asking about you, wanting to know if you were, like, legit. Hey,
what's wrong?" Reading my face, her excitement turned to slight worry.

     
Shaking my
head, I tried my best to look happy. "I think I'm starting to feel the
effects of the alcohol. And the spinning."

     
"Well, now
that the best is over with we can go home.
Ginger
was talking about
getting up there again. Although she might not want to anymore, now that she's
seen you." She peeked over her shoulder towards the tables in the back.

     
Following her
gaze, I could see that the group was all there, staring. I looked away, not
wanting to see their reactions. After taking my things from Jillian, I quickly
put my sweater on. As she was leading me back towards the others, we were
stopped by some guys sitting at a table.

     
"Hey," one of them called out. His smile made me feel
uncomfortable. "That was really something. Do you come here often?"

     
I wasn't in the
mood to be friendly, but I answered politely. "No, not at all."

     
"You
should hang with us," another said as we started to leave again. "Let
us buy you girls a drink."

     
Fuck off.
Offering a small smile, I continued walking.

     
"I swear,
every male in here probably has a hard-on for you right now."

     
"Jilly!" I hissed.

     
"Well,
what do you expect when you've been shaking it like a pola-pic!?"

     
I stopped,
staring at her in horror. Then I broke into laughter. "It wasn't
that
bad, was it?"

   
  
"Bad? Please, you were a fucking goddess, as
always. Baby Sinclair is a full-grown woman, now." She pinched my cheek.

     
"Baby
Sinclair was a boy!"

     
She laughed.
"Spook looks a bit pissed, though. Does he get jealous easily?"

     
"Oh
shit." His reaction, good or bad, was especially one I didn't want to see.

     
Her laughter
increased and she continued leading. As we neared our group, Dale got out of
his seat and rushed towards us, engulfing me in a big hug.

     
"I wish
you had seen everyone's faces," he said, ruffling my hair. "You were
so quiet for most of the night, they had no idea what to expect."

     
"...How
much longer where you planning on staying?" I asked.

     
"Why, you
ready to leave? You just got started." He looked surprised. Normally, we
would go on for hours. That was when it was just us, though. And I didn't feel
comfortable here anymore.

     
"Too much
spinning. It's alright if you want to stay here with Samantha, though."

     
"I'll take
them," Ethan cut in, eyeing me with scrutiny. Apparently he
was
angry.

     
Dale, who could
sense my unease, looked at me for confirmation. "Baby?"

     
"It's
fine."

     
He nodded,
ruffling mine and Jilly's hair one last time.

     
"You're
just going to up and leave after all that?" Connie scoffed when we began
saying our goodbyes to everyone. "Next time, we're getting up there
together."

     
I chuckled and
nodded, knowing full well that I would never be drunk enough for that. "It
was good to meet you," I said to Beth.

     
"You, too.
Maybe I'll see you around at work," she smiled, her dark eyes glistening
in the warm glow of the overhead lights. A small part of me had the sudden urge
to do a black and white portrait of her.

     
I tried to be
polite when saying bye to the men, but at that point I wasn't really paying
attention anymore. With Ethan at my side, I took Jillian's arm as we left. Once
out in the parking lot, I inhaled the nighttime air, feeling a calm come over
me when I saw the Audi in the distance. Rather than sit up front, I crawled
into the back with Jilly.

     
The ride home
was quiet for the most part. Luckily, the apartment was only a few minutes
away.

     
"Dale was
right," Jilly yawned. "Ginger looked like she was having a stroke.
Next time, it'll be just us three. Then we can go really crazy. You can do all
your favorites and it will be just like old times."

     
I rested my
head on her shoulder. "You'll do more of your demonic voice?"