Passing It On: Growing Your Future Leaders (9 page)

I believe the angels that came gave us one of the greatest leadership lessons. The angels essentially said to them, “Why do
you stand here gazing?” Many people do that when a leader leaves. They gaze at the chair the CEO sat in. They tiptoe past
the office the last president used. They encase the pastor’s robe in glass. They keep the family homestead just as Mama left
it. They keep their deceased husband’s ashes in plain sight on the living room mantle even if they remarry. They remain immobilized
because of their dependency.

The angels motivated the disciples to get off the mountain, go back to Jerusalem, find the other disciples, and get back to
work. “The same Jesus you see leaving will come again, but in the meantime, you go and be empowered to do your own work.”
They were prepared and able to do it because Jesus had mentored them. The idea of making yourself unnecessary, of being able
to leave, is critical.

The final measure of true leadership is when your mentees can lead others
. Measure your success as a leader and mentor by how many people are following the leaders you trained. When they can mentor
effectively, you are an effective leader. In a family, it works like this. If you are a parent, you do not measure your success
by the behavior of your children. That is not the tool. You measure your success as a parent by the behavior of your grandchildren.
In other words, if you were a great parent, it will show up in your grandchildren because your children will parent their
children the way you parented them or even do it better than you did. So study your grandchildren. Have you produced children
who can produce leaders?

If you have mentored effectively, then your mentees will mentor effectively. Leadership is reproducing leadership. Mentoring
and developing successors takes far more courage than protecting your turf does.

Mentoring is the commitment of a mentor to develop someone else through a practical relationship. Mentors offer:

Timely advice
. The mentee has to accept the fact that the mentor will offer advice and opinions. “Timely” means at the moment the mentor
thinks will provide the best learning experience—a teaching moment. He will turn to the mentee and give instruction. Lessons
delivered on the spot, in real time instead of after the fact, are best. That is even preferable to lecturing about things
that could happen in the future.

Resources
. The mentor shares such resources as letters, articles, and books for the mentee’s benefit. If you are a good mentor, you
expose the mentee to the things that helped you. Those in my mentoring program know that nearly every month they will get
a list of books from me that I am reading. If I find an article that is very helpful to me, I will send that article to the
people in my mentoring program. If I find a CD or a program that is helping me, I expose the mentee to that. I want them to
know what I know.

Financial help/guidance
. The mentor might assist the mentee financially but has no obligation to do so. The mentor might buy a book, help with travel
costs, or cover the registration fees for an event. If there is a commitment on the part of the mentee, the mentor will be
encouraged to help.

Freedom for the mentee to emerge as a leader even beyond the level of the mentor
. The mentor wants the mentee to become greater. That is the purpose of mentoring. If you want the mentee to excel beyond
your accomplishments, you have to provide opportunities for that to happen. Many times when I have a mentee with me, I put
him in front of my audience to speak. I will give him my microphone, saying, “You go ahead and talk to the people. Let me
expose you to my market.” I am helping the mentee to emerge. What took me thirty years to gain, I can give to my protégé in
thirty seconds. This is the power of a mentor. A mentor can change the mentee’s life in a day, saving that person a lifetime
of trial and error.

A role model for leadership functions
. A mentor shows how to lead in many different settings. You allow the mentee to see how you handle pressure, criticism, disappointment,
and abuse of yourself or others. They see you leading in the various settings of life.

Direct access and opportunities for development
. I might say to my mentee, “You should go to that seminar.” I do this because I know that he or she needs to learn something
in that particular environment. Or I might say, “Buy this book,” or “Subscribe to that magazine.” I know what they need to
learn. Sometimes I call a mentee to say, “I want you to go on this trip with me,” and the mentee asks, “Why?” I explain, “Because
on this trip, I will be exposed to certain environments that I want you to see.” My invitation gives the mentee access to
events or places that he or she normally would not have the chance to experience.

Coleadership to build confidence
. The mentor allows the mentee to share the work. I provide access for others to benefit from the platform that I have built.
I do not have to do that, but I do not want to hog everything. If you are going to mentor people, you have to “colead.” You
want the mentees to have the privilege to share in your market, your exposure, and your influence. Give them opportunities
to be in charge of things. Let them run a meeting or present the new marketing plan. You can watch, comment, and
make sure they learn through the process but allow them to share leadership. Build up the confidence of that person.

Mentors can give a mentee instant credibility and recognition. They can give the mentee their name, which may be worth a lot.
When I wrote my first book, I was reluctant as an author, fearing that no one would read my book. The publisher said to me,
“Do you know someone—maybe a mentor—who would be willing to put his name on the book?”

My number one mentor was Oral Roberts. I spent five years being mentored by him personally as an undergraduate at Oral Roberts
University. As a student I was appointed to the world national committee. He met with us every Tuesday at noon, just five
of us. He would talk to us in a little room in the chapel. What a privilege! Later he appointed me as a mission director to
test me. Then I became director of missions for the whole school. He told me to mentor someone to take my place, and I did.

Years later I was an unknown author. I sent him the manuscript and asked him to read it and consider writing the foreword,
which meant lending his name to my book. I was so afraid. I was asking him to give me his fifty years of successful ministry
in fifty seconds. I was humbled by his response. He read the entire manuscript, sent back the beautiful foreword, and told
me, “I am proud of you, son, and you can have my name.”

That first book is called
Single, Married, Separated, and Life after Divorce
. It has sold more than a million copies—because of his name. By the way, his name was larger than mine because he had the
credibility, not me. He was giving his whole life. Suppose there were errors in that book. He was taking a risk because he
knew me. He was my mentor. He still was until his death in late 2009. He was more than ninety years old, and he still called
me his son.

When you mentor, you can open doors for others in one second that could take years for them to get through alone. Oral Roberts
never asked me for anything in exchange for giving his name. He simply gave me the gift of fifty years of his life.

Another time I wrote John Maxwell, a highly respected authority on leadership who has sold nearly twenty million books himself,
and said, “Look, I have a book on men…” I sent it to him. He wrote a foreword. I wrote another book and sent it to Dr. Fred
Price, founder of Crenshaw Christian Center/Ever Increasing Faith Ministries in California, one of the largest and most-influential
churches in the United States. I said, “Look if you think it
is worthy of your name, would you write a foreword?” Now, I do the same thing for many people. My name has become valuable.
I am willing to share it as a mentor to others. Many of my mentees have written books now, and they are always asking, “Will
you do a foreword for my book?” When I say, “Absolutely, yes!” I am sharing my creditability, my influence with them. People
who trust me will trust them. You are mentored so you can mentor other people. It is not about you. It is about the people
you develop.

In all these ways, the mentor invests in the mentee and allows that person to flourish. Mentors allow budding leaders to see
the processes involved in leadership—the issues, responsibilities, and obligations. As the lioness does with her cubs, they
model decision making so the young leaders can see it, allowing them to share privileged experiences. They accept the responsibility
of being role models. They direct the developing leader to resources and opportunities for growth.

All of this requires the effective mentor to keep the following principles in mind:

Understand that leadership is “caught” more than taught
. That means mentoring your understudy for leadership is not limited to verbal instruction, but includes allowing them to
experience things through your life. The mentee has to observe and catch on to what you are teaching.

See potential in each person
. Mentors must understand basic human nature. The mentor understands that human potential is always present, but not necessarily
manifested. He or she can see more potential in the protégé than the person sees in himself. The mentor does not judge based
on what the mentee does or has done, but rather on what that person could do. The mentor looks at what the mentee can be.
Mentors can accept and overlook errors because they believe more in potential than they do past behavior. They tolerate the
poor judgment and the miscalculations of a mentee because they believe in potential.

Tolerate mistakes
. The mentor allows for error. If you are going to reproduce leaders, learn from your own experience. You were not
all that
all the time. You had your own problems. Someone tolerated you for a long time.
Allow people to make some errors. The mentor also understands that mistakes are a part of the educational process. In many
cases mentorship requires that you set up the mentee to fail, not to do harm but to teach, because failure is also an important
classroom for leadership development. Do not trust a person who never fails. Failure is the incubator for character development.
Character development is more important than skill development. The mentor allows for the mistakes because others have done
it for him or her. All of us are “in process.” We are works in progress. We are all under construction, and everybody is at
a different stage of life. A mentor never judges from the standpoint of where the mentor is, but rather from where the mentee
is. That allows for mistakes and makes room for improvement.

Demonstrate patience
. This is related to tolerance. Patience is knowing the value of time and experience. It requires patience to give the mentee
time to experience different environments, emotions, and situations as part of the learning process. It requires patience
to mentor them on the path to acquiring competence and eventually independence. It requires patience to watch your children
grow up to become mature adults. It takes patience to grow a successor. Jesus displayed patience many times. After Peter denied
Him, Jesus sent word through the angel, saying in effect, “Tell Peter he can come back to the meeting. I know what he did.
It’s okay. Tell him to come back. He’s in charge.”

Mark 16:7
“But go, tell his disciples
and Peter
, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’ ”

After the resurrected Jesus appeared to the disciples on the shores of the Sea of Galilee and fed them breakfast, He handed
Peter the responsibility for His flock, but first He tested him.

John 21:17
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time,
“Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

Great leaders have endless patience. They have the wisdom to know that you will go through trials and learn from them. Be
patient.

Make time to spend with your mentee
. I reserve time for the people I mentor through our program at Bahamas Faith Ministries International (BFMI). Anyone who
is in my program can come to my house at least twice a year, spend the day with me, meet my family, and see how I live. They
can observe how I work in different environments. In the examples the Bible gives us, the mentors—Moses with Joshua; Elijah
with Elisha; Jesus with Peter, James, and John—each gave their time.

Provide opportunities to learn
. Mentoring has more to do with providing opportunities to
experience
leadership than it does with merely teaching leadership. The mentor creates situations for the mentee to learn. This can
happen in many different ways. For instance, the mentor can expose the mentee to his or her programs, projects, and events
as I do when I use my platform for my mentees, allowing them to speak, letting them run a meeting, or lending my name to their
book. A mentor shares space with the mentee. The mentor shares his exposure with the mentee.

Be honest with correction and generous with praise
. If someone needs correction, give it. If they did well, tell them. From time to time, the mentor will confront the difficult
task of addressing the weaknesses, idiosyncrasies, mistakes, moral failings, or poor judgment of those under his guidance.
You must be honest with the person you are trying to develop. If you want that person to grow, you have to be frank and not
appease them or accommodate anything that can retard development. The mentor should also be lavish with encouragement and
praise when deserved because people need affirmation. The mentor should be able to praise generously because someone did it
for him or her. Praise is a great source of comfort and stability for those we mentor.