Patrick's Heart (4 page)

“At the cabin,” said Patrick. “He’s sulking because I took his plaything away.”

“All of you wait for me there. I need to talk with Cassie alone for a minute.” Garret’s tone left no room for argument. His evening had already been chaos, one disaster after another. All he wanted to do was forget the world and drown in Cassie’s soft curves and feminine scent. But even that wouldn’t be simple tonight.

Once they were alone, all internal thoughts from his pack mates were cut off as they put distance between them. He took a breath of relief. It wasn’t easy always being forced to digest the emotions of the four other shifters. It was the curse of being alpha.

Patrick’s emotions were especially scattered. He was usually basic, relying on instinct rather than complex feelings—more wolf than man some days. Now Garret could read his conflicting thoughts, confusion, love, and distrust. There was no doubt Red felt affection for the human girl, but he was fighting it.

After the life he’d led before joining the Gregor Pack, Garret didn’t blame him. He only hoped things would change for him once the mating was made official, erasing any insecurity he may be suffering. As much as the other men drove him nuts on the job and home front, he loved each one of them. They weren’t just his limbs but his essential organs.

“So…”

“You could have told me, you know. There were literally a dozen or more times you could have revealed Patrick was a werewolf. I’ve had questions for so long but you just made me feel like I was the crazy one.”

He kept his voice low. “I didn’t want to risk losing you. You’re the best thing to happen to me, Cassie.”

“The truth is important. It’s everything.”

“Not everything.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lips. “What about love?”

“Patrick doesn’t love me. Is he even capable of love? I know nothing about werewolves. Until today I had no clue they existed.”

Garret had his work cut out for him. Cassie was angry, passionate, and on the verge of tears. She didn’t realize that Patrick was an individual like any other man. His emotional distance had nothing to do with being a shape-shifter. “What about you? Can you love a wolf?”

“I–I don’t even know. I mean, I’m so confused and not sure what to think at this point.”

“But you gave him your body.” He reached down low and impaled her pussy with two fingers. She was slick, still wet from Patrick’s release. “I can smell it, feel it.”

She dropped her weight for a moment, then decided to push him away instead. “It was just sex.”

He shook his head. “Then why not sleep with Corbin? He claims to want you as much as Red does.”

“Because—” She could play disinterested all she wanted. He knew better. She exhaled in defeat. “Because I love Patrick.”

“Even though he’s a wolf?”

“Yes.”

He couldn’t help but smile. Luckily the darkness hid his expressions. He hoped she felt the same way when she met his black wolf. He wanted to feel her hands running through his fur, the same look of sweet innocence in her eyes as the day she met Patrick’s wolf.

“Are you okay staying here tonight? It’s late and I’d feel better keeping you in my cabin after everything that happened.” First Evan had taken off with vigilante justice on his mind, and then the loggers took Cassie as a hostage. To top if off, the Rockford wolves went on the offensive. He still had the inspector living at the mine for the rest of the week. It seemed minor in comparison, but would take precedence if he lost his license to mine.

“I guess. Will Patrick be there?”

“Why wouldn’t he? He’s the same man he was yesterday, Cassie. Don’t forget that.”

* * * *

Part of Cassidy wanted to accept Patrick with open arms, to embrace his wolfy nature and not look back. But the rational side of her brain had too many questions to count. She had doubts that grew by the minute, by the second. Maybe it would be better if she had nothing to do with him again, returning to her contented state of ignorance. But would avoiding Patrick mean losing her other four men? Did she really want to say good-bye to her red wolf forever?

“Maybe I should go to my house tonight. Alone.” Some time to think and work through her feelings was exactly what the doctor ordered. She was in no shape to make any decisions. The fact she’d let Patrick fuck her only hours after watching him morph into an animal was testament to her current mental instability.

“I don’t think so, little one. I won’t have anything happen to you, and the only way I can assure that is to have you close by.”

“And who’ll protect me? You or your domesticated wolf?”

Cassidy realized she was going through the stages of grief. First came the shock and now the anger was coming in to play. It just wasn’t fair that she finally found a place to belong only to discover it may be more of an impossible fantasy than she ever realized.

“Be nice,” he warned. But the deep tenor of his voice only served to arouse her. Garret was the leader, the boss, the alpha. He made the decisions. Cassidy wondered why a flesh-and-blood werewolf would call a human his alpha. Shifters really must be a minority in the world.

“I feel betrayed,” she said honestly. “I gave all of myself to the five of you, even going through hell and back a few times. All along you’ve kept this huge secret from me.”

“There’s more.” Evan’s voice came from the darkness. She could scarcely hear his approach.

“More secrets?” she asked.

“Still not ready to tell her, Garret? What are you waiting for?” Her new and improved Evan was challenging his friend, not settling for the status quo. But what more could they be keeping from her? What on Earth could be worse than discovering her lover was part animal?

“The human mind can only handle so much at once. I won’t have her suffer needlessly. Are you willing to put her through more stress tonight?”

“Stop,” she said. “I’m not as delicate as you make me out to be.” She paced the area, trying not to fall victim to Garret’s advances. He kept reaching for her, trying to kiss her. It would be so easy to give in and allow him to fend off the world. She craved his strength and devotion, especially now.

“So you’re okay with the truth about Patrick?” asked Garret.

She chuckled. “No! No, I’m not
okay
with it. Maybe you’ve had years to come to grips with all this, but I haven’t. I wish I could just close my eyes to wake up and find none of this has happened.”

“Would you be happier if Patrick left?” asked Evan.

Cassidy spoke before thinking, anger fueling her words. “Yes!” Immediately after the word left her lips, she felt the weight of the world bearing down on her, no sun, no moon, no stars. In that fraction of a second, she knew she loved Patrick and could never be without him. She just needed time to absorb something so monumental in her life.

It seemed every sound extinguished, leaving only a pounding heartbeat in her ears. Then she heard it. It was faint but she had no doubt it was the sound of retreating footsteps. Patrick’s.

* * * *

Patrick only walked until he was safely out of sight before shifting into his fur. He wanted to go numb before his human emotion threatened to undo him. Cassidy had rejected him—the man and the wolf. He hadn’t invested in her, always keeping a level of distance between them, and she wasn’t marked. Then why the fuck did it hurt so much to hear her say she didn’t want him? His wolf howled, unable to keep its despair bottled up. It was a cry of sorrow, of loneliness, of inevitability.

What did he expect? He’d never asked for a mate. After the life he’d led, he was glad just to be able to function in regular society. He worked side by side with human males without breaking down or going feral.

He supposed he didn’t realize what he had until it was gone. He’d kept a wall between him and Cassidy as a safety barrier for himself. When she’d accepted his red wolf, he was so deeply moved that it scared him. Each day with the little human only made his heart grow fonder. What would become of him if she abandoned the pack? It was the thought that initiated his emotional distance. He’d worked too hard at being strong and confident without giving it all away for an unmarked girl.

Patrick ran hard, his legs burning from exertion. He wanted to forget but couldn’t. He tried to turn off his love for Cassidy but found it just as impossible. What would become of him now? Would Garret send him away to live on his own, living a life of denial with Cassidy? They’d probably play human just to keep her. Since Patrick was exposed, that left him as the odd man out, the only one their woman looked at with distaste. It broke his heart.

He instinctively traveled to Cassidy’s little house on the outskirts of Climax. He needed to be close to her in any way possible. Her scent would still linger in the house, the only connection he’d be getting tonight.

As he approached the run-down structure, he shifted forms. Once in his skin the wave of emotion nearly brought him to his knees. Even though his wolf form couldn’t mask all his humanity, it dulled his feelings like a cheap drug. One he desperately needed right now.

The old, wooden door creaked as he opened it. His footsteps echoed. All his life he lacked purpose…until finding the Gregor Pack. But now they’d bond with a mate and he’d be left alone again. He wanted Cassidy. Wanted to own her, love her, fuck her, and keep her. His wolf clawed within him to stake a claim, but it wasn’t his place. He wasn’t the alpha and now she barely tolerated him.

It took a while before he realized an intruder had been in the house. He was so preoccupied that he hadn’t paid attention. The scent was strong, which meant the male had been by within the past couple days. He suspected it was the same man who’d left the note on Cassidy’s door, almost sure of it. They assumed the note was from her brother, but what if it wasn’t?

The loggers had kidnapped her without a second thought. Were they up to their old tricks already? Would they ever give up trying to attain Gregor land? The Rockford Pack continued to be a thorn in their sides, reporting them to the inspector and trying to steal Cassidy for their alpha, Corbin. He couldn’t tell if the scent was human or shifter, and he was usually an excellent tracker. It only made him more uneasy.

If this intruder was in fact her brother, Patrick could use him as a peace offering. Cassidy was so desperate to find that link to her past, a blood relative, that she would surely see Patrick in a favorable light if he returned her brother. He had to do something to mend their relationship. The thought of living out his life alone after getting a sample of being a mated male was indigestible.

Cassidy insisted they find Patrick and bring him back. She was in a state of panic, terrified she’d ruined any chance of bonding with her Viking. He may be a wolf, but it didn’t change who he was on the inside. She still loved him, needed him, wanted to grow as close to him as she had with her other men.

Garret and Evan took off into the darkness in search of him, leaving her alone with Matthew and Travis. They escorted her blindly through the wilderness to the tiny cabin that she considered more of a shack.

“Do you think they’ll find him?” she asked. The heat of guilt made her feel flush all over. If only she could redo that one moment. She hadn’t meant what she’d said. Wolf or no wolf, she could never say good-bye to Patrick. And the red wolf continually starred in her dreams.

“They’ll find him,” Matthew assured.

“I’ve screwed up. I know I’ve hurt him.” She was narrow-sighted, replaying her hateful words over and over in her head. Imagining his reaction felt like a knife twisting in her gut.

“He’s not a pup. He can handle it, and I’m sure he understands what you’re going through. It’s not every day a woman finds out she’s been sleeping with a wolf.”

She tested her blood pressure as they walked, two fingers pressed to the pulse at her wrist. If her heart beat any faster, she was certain she’d pass out. “Thanks,” she grumbled.

Travis held open the cabin door for her, the firelight providing much-welcome illumination. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. “You smell sweet, baby girl. I’ve missed you.”

She dropped her head back against his chest, savoring the comfort of their skin-to-skin contact. “I have so many questions…”

“Let’s have them,” said Matthew, settling on the floor against the wall. “It could be a while before the others get back.”

The flickering flames created shadows along the rough wood plank walls. “Well…for one, why do you all run around naked half the time? I can understand Patrick’s reason now, but not yours.” The only time any of the men were fully dressed seemed to be during a working day at the mine. Basic logic demanded answers. She had to appease the new seeds of doubt erupting in her mind.

“This is Climax. It’s different than the city,” said Matthew simply.

She shook her head. Their old answers no longer satisfied her. It would take a lot more than a few words of consolation to appease her after what she’d seen.

“We’re at one with nature,” said Travis, settling her on his lap after sitting down beside Matthew.

“No. Being at one with nature doesn’t mean running around in the nude. It gets cold this far north, even in the summer, yet clothes are only an afterthought. Why?”