Penelope (30 page)

“Your second paper is due in a week,” said the professor eventually. “You can go.”

Penelope wandered out of Emerson Hall and cut across the Yard on the way back to Pennypacker. Jason walked a couple of steps ahead her. They never walked back together after Southern Writers Reconsidered/Revisited and never seemed to feel the lack of each other’s company on the way back to the dorm. This time, however, Jason slowed down so he was walking almost next to her. Penelope worried briefly that someone had died.

“Hi, Penelope,” Jason said.

“Oh, hi, Jason,” said Penelope.

“I saw that guy who is supposed to be your boyfriend walking
around with another girl. In the co-op,” said Jason breathlessly. It was the longest sentence Penelope had ever heard him utter.

“Oh,” said Penelope. “OK. Really?”

“Yes!” said Jason.

“Well, that is OK,” said Penelope. It was probably Bitty. Penelope knew that she had to be a modern woman and not overreact to this news. Seeing Gustav with a woman didn’t mean anything. Women were equals in society now and could be platonic comrades. That was the good and bad thing about the women’s movement.

“Are you living with anyone?” asked Jason.

“No,” said Penelope. “But I will find someone soon.”

“It is the worst to be a floater,” said Jason. He broke out into a run and ran all the way to Pennypacker.

Penelope decided she would take Gustav’s advice and ask one of her friends to block with her instead of waiting around like a discarded Victorian companion for them to bring it up with her. It was not her first inclination to be the aggressor, but when had her first inclination ever been correct or appropriate? Besides, she didn’t want to be a floater, and as time marched closer to the date that housing forms were due, it was becoming increasingly likely that if she didn’t take some sort of initiative she would be.

Penelope was going to ask either Lan or Emma to block with her. They were her closest approximation to friends, and all told, living with them this year had not gone too badly. Penelope was an inclusive soul and would have preferred that they all block together, but recently the tensions between Lan and Emma had reached some sort of apotheosis, especially since Lan taught Raymond two dog tricks.

So accordingly, and later that week, Penelope seized upon Lan while she was walking to the bathroom. Lan was wearing a Pink Floyd T-shirt that had the words “I am ambivalent about” written above the band logo in marker. Raymond was following
behind her, carrying Emma’s copy of
Democracy in America
in his mouth.

“Hey, Lan,” said Penelope. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“What?” said Lan. She stopped walking and looked at Penelope. It was a scary look, but Penelope continued.

“How are you?” asked Penelope.

“Fine,” said Lan.

“That’s good.”

Lan shrugged.

“Wow. Can you believe
Caligula
is coming up so soon?” asked Penelope.

“No,” said Lan.

“I hope they find someone to play Craig’s part,” said Penelope, more to herself than Lan. “I thought they would have found somebody by now.”

“I knew they wouldn’t,” said Lan. “I said that.”

“I am troubled by some recent developments in the play,” continued Penelope quickly. “For example, that play within a play they put in the third act. That wasn’t in the original script. I don’t get why it is a puppet show either.”

“That was my idea,” said Lan. She started walking toward her room.

Penelope took a deep breath. It was time to confront the real situation. This was very frightening. More frightening, even, than the imaginary scenario, which involved a slap.

“Do you know what you are doing for housing?” asked Penelope.

“Oh,” said Lan. “I am moving to the co-op.”

“Oh?” said Penelope. “What is that?”

“It’s this place off campus where everybody cooks their own vegetarian food and lives together and rides bikes. It’s disgusting.”

“Oh, really?” said Penelope. “So you are not moving into one of the houses?”

“No,” said Lan.

“Why not?” asked Penelope. She was really disappointed.
She had not realized how much she had counted on living with Lan. She had pictured the two of them celebrating Raymond’s birthday and eating in silence for many years to come.

“It’s just really hard to keep a cat secret,” said Lan. She said this almost apologetically.

“Oh,” said Penelope. “I can see that.”

“Well, I am going to my room,” said Lan.

“OK,” said Penelope. And then Lan walked to her room.

Penelope sat in the common room by herself. She was stung and upset. Still, on further reflection, it was a foolhardy enterprise to ask Lan to live in the confines of the dorms for another year. Lan would have never had agreed to their strictures. She was an iconoclast. Penelope was not, however.

“So how do you like living in America?” said Penelope to Gustav. She was sitting on the couch in his common room and sipping a flute of champagne. It was three a.m. Gustav was preparing to hit a golf ball into a putting green he installed near his desk. Gustav was often silent when playing golf. Thus Penelope had ample time to think of a conversational topic.

“Oh, I suppose it’s fine,” said Gustav, laughing. “Haven’t we discussed this?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Penelope. “I guess I forgot.”
What a dumb conversational topic
, thought Penelope. It was just sometimes when she was with Gustav she didn’t know what to talk about. Before she would hang out with him, she would sometimes try to brainstorm things to discuss. Everything she brain-stormed never went the way she thought it would.

“How do you like that champagne?” said Gustav, putting his golf club back in its case. “I am not entirely pleased with it. Perhaps it’s too dry.”

“Oh,” said Penelope. “Sure!”

Gustav sat down on the couch next to Penelope. He took off his shoes, which were brown and had tassels and holes all over
them in some sort of swirly design. He smiled. Penelope smiled at him.

“In some ways I find it adorable,” said Gustav, “but you are much too agreeable, dear! I think it’s time for you to develop tastes, and standards!”

“OK,” said Penelope.

Penelope had to wait several days before she approached Emma about living with her. There never seemed to be a right time to broach the subject. Despite being in the same play and living in the same room, Penelope didn’t see Emma all that much. At play practice, Penelope was onstage, acting several parts. She was one of the puppeteers now, which was really complicated because at the last minute Henry Wills-Mather changed the puppets to marionettes, and Penelope had to watch YouTube videos to learn how to operate them, whereas Emma, in her capacity as producer, dealt with ticket stubs on a different floor. In addition, Emma had a very active social life and was constantly going to parties of one sort or another, which left little time for sincere talks.

It was while Emma was getting ready to go to one of these soirees that Penelope felt the time was right to discuss housing. Emma seemed to be in a good mood. She was looking at herself in a full-length mirror that was adhered to the back of the closet door. She was wearing some sort of large Lilly Pulitzer expanse that was knotted at the neck. Was it a sari?

Penelope sat down on her bed.

“Hi, Emma,” said Penelope.

“Oh, hey, Penelope,” said Emma. She took a compact off her bureau and started applying bronzing powder to her cheeks using a large, round brush.

“Where are you going?” asked Penelope.

“A garden party,” said Emma. “At the Owl.”

“Oh, fun,” said Penelope.

“Yeah, I think it will be,” said Emma.

“Isn’t it too cold to go in the garden?” asked Penelope.

“Oh, Penelope, it’s an ironic garden party!” said Emma. She laughed decibels into the sky. “Their real garden party is next month or something. Whatever. I have to leave early anyway.”

“Why?” asked Penelope.

Emma sighed.

“I am so swamped. Like ridiculously. Classes are ridiculous. I spent six hours in the library yesterday.”

“Wow.”

“I know,” said Emma. “I am not even half done with my work.”

“Terrible,” said Penelope.

“Not to mention all the other stuff I have to do, what with the play coming up, and Model United Nations having a conference, and like six HSA meetings, plus
Current
elections.”

“That is a lot of stuff,” said Penelope.

“I am incredibly stressed,” said Emma. “It is just too much for one person.”

This seemed to put Emma in a taciturn mood, which was too bad because she had just been laughing very loudly. Penelope wished she had not brought up the subject of work during such an important conversation, but had she? Homework was like a North Star that everything turned to.

Penelope took a deep breath. She figured she might as well just come out with it.

“Do you know what you are doing for housing?” she said. Emma made a loud sound, somewhere between a scream and a click.

“Well, that is what is stressing me out the most! I just feel so upset about it. My friend Beth asked me to block with her, which is fine, I guess; she is blocking with these kids who I sort of know from different things. They need like four more people. It’s not like they are super-nerdy or anything, and I like Beth, but it’s kind of like whatever. But I think Bitty and Katrina might want to block with me. In the past, when I’ve asked them
about it, they have sort of said they wanted to, but now I feel like they might not anymore because from what I have heard, their blocking group is kind of full and I might not get in. But I also don’t want to offend them? By making plans? So it’s just really freaking me out.”

“Oh, wow,” said Penelope. “I mean, well, if you don’t get into that one, I was going to ask you, you know, if there is any space, for me? In the other one. If I could block with you?”

Emma looked too shocked to speak. Luckily, her metropolitan breeding enabled her to recover.

“Oh, you know, I would love that, but I think both of the other groups I want to get into are really already full. You gave me no notice! I know I said before that there was space, but now that I am thinking about it I really don’t think there is. I mean, I would love it, but I really don’t think it’s possible. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, it’s OK,” said Penelope. “I totally understand.”

“Oh, good, because, you know, I am already feeling really, really stressed out about this, and I just can’t really add to it in any way. It’s way way too much to think about this right now.”

“OK,” said Penelope.

“I am glad you understand,” said Emma.

Penelope went out into the common room and started to panic.