Penelope (37 page)

“No,” said Penelope. It would have been impossible for Ted to have told her what happened. Ted hadn’t really spoken to Penelope since their fight before
Caligula
. Penelope didn’t know if she was sad about it or not.

“That’s true. Why would he?” said Catherine rhetorically. “Anyway, I was talking to Brad about it.”

“Who is Brad?” asked Penelope.

“Oh, Brad? Brad was my sort of boyfriend from high school. We were in band together for four years and we always liked each other. Now we are just really good friends. I hadn’t talked to him in like forever, and then last week he called me because he is home this summer and he wanted to hang out, but I was still here, obviously, because I have to take my finals. He is the most hilarious guy ever!”

“Oh, OK,” said Penelope. Sometimes she could not fathom the romantic pasts of her contemporaries. How were they already so robust?

“I think Ted and I are taking a break over the summer,” said Catherine abruptly.

“Oh, wow,” said Penelope. She was not too shocked as Ted had mentioned this as a possibility all those months ago, but still, it was moderately shocking. She composed her features.

“I know. The other night, we were just talking about this summer, and I asked him if we should stay together while he was in Washington and he said that maybe a break would be good and I was like, ‘I want to take a break.’ ”

“Oh,” said Penelope.

“I was really glad I said it.”

“Me too,” said Penelope. “I don’t think taking a break is a bad idea, if you want a break.”

“I really don’t think Ted was saying we should take a break though,” snapped Catherine. “But I think we just have to do it. We just have to take a break. Long distance is too hard. Maybe he feels insecure that I will get with Brad when I get home.” She
started laughing crazily. “But I am not going to get with Brad. I mean, that is just so ridiculous. Even though he’s said really flirty things recently, that is just how he is.”

“OK,” said Penelope quickly.

“So anyway, that is what is happening,” said Catherine. “We are just not going to be together over the summer, then when we get back to school, we will reevaluate everything.”

“Good idea,” said Penelope. She was surprised. This was all so much more painless than she could have imagined. When Penelope had considered what would happen when Ted and Catherine went on their inevitable break, for she was not so wholly absorbed with her own troubles that this did not occur to her, she always pictured a scene of Catherine wandering the halls of Pennypacker like Lady Macbeth, screaming until Penelope brought her to Health Services. She could not have allowed for the succor of Brad’s affection. It led Penelope to wonder: Was it really true what her mother said? That men were like trolley cars and there was always another coming down the block? Could one man liking you make you forget that there was another man who didn’t like you back? It was hard to know. That was not something Penelope had yet experienced.

Five days later, Penelope was walking back from the library. She had been studying for her Dinosaurs exam. The library, once the most crowded of social hubs, had been almost deserted. People were really leaving for the summer, it seemed. Glasses was gone. Nikil was leaving soon. Lan told Penelope she wasn’t taking exams. Penelope’s final exams were all clustered on the last day possible to have a test—Dinosaurs was her last exam before she went home.

However, when Penelope finally turned up the street to her dorm, she was greeted by an unexpected sight. Gustav was in front of Pennypacker. He was leaning against the stone railing. It was really him too. She could smell his pipe from where she was.

Penelope’s stomach lurched. She wanted to hide somewhere, but there was no place to hide. There were no trees and no other dorms, only a very ugly wooden fence in the colonial style. In a state of panic, she turned a quarter to the right and pretended to be examining the fence. Maybe it was not structurally sound. She knocked on it.

“Ahh, Penelope,” yelled Gustav, waving to her. “Hello! Come here, darling!”

“Hi! OK!” said Penelope in a strangely bright tone. She stopped knocking on the fence and walked toward Gustav.

“What were you doing with that fence, darling?” said Gustav.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Penelope.

“I hope it is structurally sound,” said Gustav.

“Me too,” said Penelope.

Gustav looked somewhat worse than she remembered. His face was puffy. His eyes were red rimmed. He was not wearing a suit jacket but instead a cashmere sweater and very expensive-looking tennis shoes. Looking at his ruined countenance (this was an overstatement), Penelope was seized with an unlikely hope. Could this change in his appearance be due to distress over their breakup? Had he recently been crying? Maybe he had come to her dorm for a rapprochement of some sort.

“I’m sure you can help me, darling,” said Gustav, putting his pipe in his pocket. “Do you know where the library is? Is this it?”

“Oh,” said Penelope, with a sinking feeling. “Well, this is my dorm.”

“Well, goddamn it!” said Gustav genially. “Is every building around here some sort of totem to youths lost in war? Everywhere you look there is some sort of memorial plaque. It’s impossible to tell the difference between a library and a dorm, for example.”

“Do you really not know where the library is?” asked Penelope in disbelief.

“Well, I know I went to the library once before,” said Gustav. She held her breath, but Gustav did not seem to have any particular nostalgia for Penelope associated with that memory.
“But I remember very little about it. These buildings all look so similar.”

“The library’s on the other side of the Yard,” said Penelope.

“See, I knew you would know these sort of things,” said Gustav. He patted her on the shoulder. “You look so pale and studious. Is this contraption you are wearing what they call a sweat suit?”

“I don’t know,” said Penelope, feeling desolate. Why was she wearing a sweat suit? It was very uncharacteristic of her; she usually dressed better. “Why are you going to the library?”

“I’m looking for a book, darling,” said Gustav. “On financial theory.” He sighed heavily.

“I didn’t know you liked that,” said Penelope.

“I don’t, really,” said Gustav.

“Oh,” said Penelope.

“My God. What a rubbish day,” said Gustav. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. “My father’s being a terrible pain. Called all the children for a stern talk. Well, really just me, actually. He rarely does things like that, but when he does, he talks for such an excessively long time. You see, I was supposed to go on another safari with Goldsmith this summer. I may have told you?”

“Oh,” said Penelope, who was starting to feel like she was in some sort of dream, where everyone was speaking English but no one understood it. “I don’t remember.”

“Yes, I was quite excited. You see, we were going to have the run of the park. It’s much better when you have the park to yourself, you know. But today Dad called me and told me I have to do something rather more practical, whatever that means.”

“What does that mean?” asked Penelope.

“Oh, you!” said Gustav. He ruffled her hair. “I am doing financial things in Hong Kong instead.”

“Oh, wow,” said Penelope.

“It’s shit,” said Gustav vehemently.

“But Hong Kong, you know? That seems fun,” said Penelope.

“Oh, darling,” said Gustav. He sighed. “Maybe the first five
times. But after a while it just gets rather grating. All those lights all the time.”

“Oh,” said Penelope. “That’s bad. For light pollution.”

“It’s so tiresome being a drone,” said Gustav passionately. “You don’t understand, but it is truly awful for me especially to sit behind a desk. I’m very restless. I love to travel. I wish I could do that for my career.”

“Me too,” added Penelope.

“Everyone here always assumes I don’t have to get a job. But I do,” said Gustav. Were his eyes filling up with tears? Penelope shifted uncomfortably. “I have to get a job.”

“Oh,” said Penelope. “That is horrible. But not for a couple of years.”

“No,” said Gustav reflectively, “I suppose not.”

“Have you been having a good couple of months otherwise?” asked Penelope.

“Oh, rather,” said Gustav distractedly.

Penelope looked at Gustav’s miserable face and his red-rimmed eyes. This was probably the most earnest she had ever seen him. She had to admit it was not very becoming. The thing Penelope had always liked most about Gustav was her feeling that he never said what he really thought. College might have been a place where everyone took their plights seriously and used honesty like a mallet, but Gustav always preserved his sense of humor in adversity, like Patton. However, now he looked genuinely moved by the prospect of employment. The passing months must have robbed him of his best qualities. Penelope felt sad about the changes wrought by the vicissitudes of time.

Although perhaps it was not just the workings of time. It was more probable that Gustav was the same as he had always been, and she had fundamentally misunderstood him during the whole of their acquaintance. Was everything he said that she thought was a witty bon mot actually what he was really thinking? He probably really did want the Netherlands to take over the entire world, for example.

A small part of Penelope wondered whether Gustav’s appearance at her dorm was some sort of apology—a gentleman’s apology. You couldn’t really be that confused about where the library was. You probably could, actually.

“I have to go,” said Penelope.

“You can’t point me in the direction of the library?” said Gustav, recovering his cheerfulness slightly. “You could guide me through the stacks like an invalid.”

“No,” said Penelope firmly. And then she went into her dorm.

Penelope closed the door behind her in a state of elation. She felt invigorated, like Joan of Arc before being burned at the stake. She had seen Gustav, but she had not cried, or screamed, or begged for him to return. She had been normal and he looked way worse than she remembered. It was a triumph in many ways.

When Penelope opened the door to her room, she was surprised to see that Emma was moving out of it. Her father was packing all her books into a large box. Her mother was sweeping the floor. Penelope looked at these oft-mentioned creatures with a certain amount of curiosity. Emma’s father was short but had broad shoulders and prominent jowls like a bulldog’s. He was wearing a green polo shirt and his hair, which was suspiciously black, was parted to the side. Emma’s mother was very thin and had thin short hair that fluffed around her scalp like cotton candy on a stick. She was wearing capri pants and loafers.

“Dad!” said Emma. “I think you are packing the books too heavily. They are all going to fall out.”

“Hi, Emma,” said Penelope. “I guess you are moving out?”

“Yes,” said Emma uncomfortably. Since
Caligula
, Penelope and Emma really hadn’t interacted very much. Emma was too busy with the end of the semester to be in the room, and Penelope didn’t care. “I finished all my exams this morning.”

“Oh, cool,” said Penelope. “Hi, I’m Penelope,” she said in the direction of Emma’s parents.

“Hello,” boomed Emma’s father. He put the box of books down and strode over toward Penelope and shook her hand very firmly. Emma’s mother also walked over but stayed a couple of feet behind him and didn’t shake hands.

“So you’re Emma’s roommate?” asked Emma’s father. “What’s your concentration?”

“Oh, I don’t know yet?” said Penelope nervously. “I really like this class that I am taking called Dinosaurs.”

“Do you want to go into paleontology?” asked Emma’s father in an angry sort of way. “There’s no money in that. You can’t be a professor anymore. There are no jobs.”

“No,” said Penelope. “I mean, I don’t really want to do that. I don’t even like dinosaurs. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Your roommate seems confused,” he said to Emma and Emma’s mother. Emma’s mother laughed softly. Emma’s father still looked mad. “You can’t afford to be confused, Penelope.”

“I agree,” said Penelope.