Authors: Janet Goss
Perfect on Paper (42 page)
“This is all—”
Just what I’ve always wanted,
I thought but didn’t say. A handsome, devoted boyfriend who forgave the most flagrant of sins and surprised me with freestanding real estate. I looked up at the loft and pictured myself there, the western light illuminating the painting on my easel, Dinner sprawled at the foot of one staircase, Puny by the other, Hank applying sealer to the walls of exposed brick.…
Or was it too late for all that?
“Hey—you’re speechless.” He laughed. “Ain’t never seen you like this before.”
“I think I’m on sensory overload. Seeing you again, and this place, and…”
And Billy. Couldn’t forget Billy.
“I understand. I just asked you to make a mighty big decision.”
It’s a much bigger decision than you realize,
I thought but didn’t say.
I turned and put my hands on his shoulders. “Listen—would it be okay with you if I took a little while to think things over?”
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s there to think about?”
What, indeed.
“It’s just—well, so much has changed in the past hour, I can’t quite wrap my brain around it yet.”
He hugged me, and I breathed in his wonderful Hank smell.
“Take all the time you need, Dana. We’ll be right here waiting for you.”
Now what?
I thought as I walked down Tenth Street toward home. I’d run out of my apartment so fast, I’d forgotten to take my cell phone, but it didn’t matter. Elinor Ann couldn’t help me make this decision. Nobody could. Not Tom-Tom, certainly not my parents…
I sighed.
This is what happens when you’re left to your own devices at too early an age,
I thought to myself.
You never do get the hang of being a grown-up.
And now I was on my own, and somehow I’d have to figure out the right thing to do.
Unless maybe God…
I recalled my father’s favorite adage: There is no God; there’s only nature—human nature.
When I walked through my front door, Billy was gone, and his shirt no longer hung from my bedpost. I looked for a note—on the pillow, on my desk, the bathroom mirror—but when I didn’t find one, I went to turn on the computer. Maybe he’d sent me an email after he’d gotten back to his apartment.
Maybe he hadn’t. I’d been gone for quite a while.
The phone rang before I had time to check.
“Hello?”
“
There
you are! You’re certainly not an easy person to get hold of lately.”
“Oh—hi, Mom. Yeah, I’ve been… out a lot.” Crisscrossing the streets of the neighborhood searching for a truck, mostly.
“I just wanted to find out your flight information so we’ll know what time to expect you on Friday.”
“I’m supposed to be getting in just after three.”
“Good. That’s well ahead of happy hour.” She paused. “Now, have you given any more thought to bringing that young man of yours?”
“I’m… still thinking. Although at this point, I’d be surprised if there were any seats left on the plane.”
“Oh dear. That’s certainly a possibility.”
“But Tom-Tom and I will be flying down together. And he lined up a rental car, so you won’t have to come to the airport.”
“Splendid!”
In the background, I could hear my father asking what was splendid.
“Mom? Could you put Dad on for a second?”
“Really? Right now?”
“Why not?”
“Well… you’re going to be seeing him in just a couple of days.…”
But as I’d recently learned, even one day was no guarantee. Everything could change irrevocably in far less time than that. “I know. Put him on anyway, would you?”
She covered the receiver with her hand, and, after a muffled conversation, my father’s voice came through the line.
“Hey there, kiddo!”
“Ready for the big birthday bash?”
“You know it. And I think it’s just terrific that you and your half brother are traveling partners. You’ll like him, I promise.”
“Dad—listen. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you this a long time ago, but… well, Tom-Tom and I have known each other for quite some time. Like, since my college days. He’s been like—well, like a brother to me.”
And a daddy, when the need arose
.
“He’s—what did you say? You’ve known each other
how
long?”
“Years. Decades.”
“Is that so?” He was obviously tickled to hear the news. “It’s good to know somebody up there is keeping an eye on you.”
“Yeah. It is.” I looked up at my bulletin board. Someone—Billy—had affixed a Post-it note to the bottom of Ray’s Valentine. Underneath the flowery, cursive
you
were the words,
should be with me
.
“So I guess that means I can finally stop checking up on you,” my father said.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Oh, you know.”
“No, I don’t know.”
“Sometimes I get to wondering how you’re doing up there. So every once in a while I just… pick up the phone and hear for myself.”
The hang-up calls. Oh my god.
“Dad, that’s—”
Utterly crazy. But kind of sweet.
But definitely more crazy than sweet.
I walked over to the bed in a daze and sat down, just in case my knees buckled. “That was you on the phone? All those times?”
“You know how it is. A father worries sometimes. New York can be a tough town, kid. Especially for a good-looking gal out on her own.”
Huh,
I thought.
Tom-Tom’s right. We’re definitely not the Cleavers.
But my father was right, too. This could be a tough town. And it was nice to know somebody was checking up on me all those years, even though I’d never, ever have guessed who was doing it.
But it wasn’t just him, though. Or Tom-Tom. Elinor Ann had come to my rescue too many times to count. Ray had told me he loved me and made my life perfect, at least for a little while. Vivian had provided me with the career I’d always hoped for. Hank had bought me a house—an actual, incredible house. And Billy—
Oh, Billy. Billy Billy Billy
.
“Dad, there’s just one thing I don’t understand. Why in the world didn’t you just stay on the phone long enough to ask me how I was?”
“Ah, you’re young. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than jaw with your old man.”
“I don’t know about that. But—Dad? I really am doing okay up here. Honestly.”
And I’ve finally—finally—figured out how to proceed with my future,
I silently added.
No matter how messy and disastrous it turns out to be.
“Glad to hear it, kid. So I can stop keeping tabs on you?”
“Yeah, Dad. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
FLYING BLINDA
chorus of groans went up from the passengers when our pilot announced we were seventeenth in line on the runway. Tom-Tom’s were among the loudest. I could hear him—all the way in the back of the plane, right next to the lavatory—from where I sat in the fourth row.
“Boy, is he going to need a drink when we get to Florida,” I said.
“Then I’m buying. It was real nice of him to switch places with me.”
“I’ll say. When I found out there was only one seat left on the flight, I should have known it would be the worst one.” I pulled the
Times
from my purse and rifled through the second Arts section until I located the crossword puzzle.
“So… which one of us gets to solve it?”
“Neither.” I smiled and turned the page around to reveal the byline. “We’ve already solved it.”
PUZZLE BY DANA MAYO AND W.W.W. MOODY
ACROSS
1. Driver’s seat
5. Symbol of longevity in Japanese art
10. Express buss?
14. Quito quencher
15. Held sway
16. That’s a wrap
17. It’s less on a driver than a spoon
18. Works in a different medium
20. Band of Englishmen
22. Saved seat?
24. Boxer, briefly
25. Not state
26. Late state
28. Blows
31. You might get a kick out of it
32. Honey
33. 38-Down, essentially
37. Second half of a noted Pope line (var.)
40. Cold comfort?
41. Mister Roberts
42. Watches
43. Partners of monsters in a 1998 film title
44. Stocking stuffer, perhaps
45. Sister city to San Francisco
49. Claustrophobe’s challenge
50. End of days?
51. Operator
56. Accounts
57. Look longingly
60. Hibernia
61. Revolt
62. Depression, of a sort
63. Bombs in a club
64. Rich deposit
65. Fire off a 39-Down
DOWN
1. #13 on AFI’s Greatest Film Villians of All Time
2. Diva’s excess
3. Night terrors from WWII
4. Tough class for Teen Talk Barbie
5. Area known for its beaches
6. Extended sentence
7. Whiffenpoofs’ lack
8. Essential
9. On pins and needles
10. One of 150 in the Bible
11. Polish off
12. Container that doesn’t hold water
13. ____ Suzuki, Bond wife in “You Only Live Twice”
19. One-third of a Major League crown (abbr.)
21. Ground swell
22. Romeo and Juliet, for two
23. Prufrock poet
27. Bad for business
28. Brews
29. The third man?
30. It’s covered in sheet
32. It might be flipped in anger
33. Keen
34. Abstainer’s alternative
35. Part of the Tootsie Roll family
36. Caesurae
38. Muck
39. Modern account
43. Celebratory
44. Clutches
45. Held the paper on
46. Harry’s daughter
47. Elevated digs
48. Spaces spaces
49. They might appear on blackboards
52. Phrase for those who shall remain nameless
53. Act against organized crime
54. Overindulge
55. Anonymous way to sign a Valentine
58. Practice in 45-Across
59. Squelch
Puzzle © Peter W. Mitchell and Janet Siefert
