Perfected (Entangled Teen) (20 page)

“I thought you said we didn’t know whether she ran away or not,” Claire said.

The congressman picked his napkin off of his lap and threw it down across his plate, still half full of food. “We don’t. For all I know it could have been one of those crazy civil rights nuts again. The point is, we don’t know. That being the case, the breeders thought that to be on the safe side I should bring her in to be spayed. We scheduled an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.”

“Spayed?” Grant asked. “They do that?”

The congressman ignored him, speaking instead to his wife. “And they’re waving the fee of course. The way I look at it, it’s the least they could do after something like this happened. After that, we won’t need the leash.”

I turned my head away from them, bile rising in my throat. How could they talk about this in front of me? As if I wasn’t even there.

“And you’re okay with this? Getting her spayed?” The congressman’s wife’s voice was harsh. “A month ago you were the one complaining about this sort of procedure, and now you’re all for it?”

I looked out the window, wishing I could cover my ears with my hands. I didn’t want to hear it. How could he think that spaying me would make me want to stay? If they were going to send me back to the kennel, they might as well just send me through the red door and get it over with. I was already tarnished, wasn’t I?

A
fter lunch, the congressman sat in his office, reading over a thick stack of papers on his desk while I sat on the chaise lounge by the window, absently stroking the plush fabric in one direction.

Ruby appeared quietly in the doorway. She looked between her father and me as she scratched nervously behind her ear.

“Hi, Daddy,” she finally said.

The congressman glanced up from the pile of papers and smiled. “Hello there, little miss.”

“Can Ella come outside and catch butterflies with me?” she asked. It was the first time she’d spoken my name since she realized I was chained up.

“I don’t know,” the congressman said, looking down at the pile of paperwork on his desk. “I need to catch up on a lot of reading. I don’t really have time to come out and watch her.”

Ruby stepped farther into the room, coming to stand next to me. “Why can’t you take this off?” she asked, running her finger along the chain around my wrist. “She’s not going to go anywhere. Just in the backyard.”

The congressman sighed. “Sorry Ruby, we can’t take it off.”

“Can she wear it outside?”

He ran a hand over his eyes. “I don’t have time for this right now.”

“But she looks sad here,” Ruby said. “And it’s such a pretty day outside. You and Mom are always saying that we need to get fresh air on a day like this.”

“All right. All right,” he said. “Why don’t you go find Penn and have him rig something up so she can play outside with you?”

Ruby jumped up and down, clapping her hands. Normally her enthusiasm would be contagious, but not this time. My body was frozen, unable to even work up the energy to smile for her.

“I’ll go get my net,” she called behind her as she ran out of the room. “I’ll meet you outside.”

P
enn knelt in front of me, bolting the end of the chain into a newly drilled hole on the side of the pool house. His face was still white from the moment, ten minutes earlier, when he’d glanced up from his notebook to see his father leading me across the patio on the end of the chain.

“Make sure it’s nice and tight,” the congressman said. “I don’t have time to keep checking on her.”

Penn swallowed and gave the wrench another twist. “It’s plenty tight,” he said. “She’s not going to try to go anywhere.”

“I’m glad to know you’re an authority,” the congressman said. “Now stay out here and help your sister keep an eye on her.”

Down the hill Ruby squealed, bouncing. “I caught one. I caught one!” She raced up the hill to where I sat and held up the thin white net. “I caught one, Dad.”

He ruffled the hair on the top of her head. “Good job, sweetie,” he said, before he turned back to the house without really looking at the creature inside.

“Look, Ella,” Ruby said, swinging the net around so I could get a better look. “I think it’s a monarch. Did you know they’re the only butterfly that migrates the way birds do?”

I leaned closer to the flimsy, white netting. Near the mouth of the net, Ruby’s hand was clenched tight around the fabric, but right below her clenched fist I could make out the tawny-orange wings of a butterfly. They opened and closed slightly, unable to find the room to move inside the collapsed bag.

“What are you going to do with it?” I asked.

Ruby shrugged. “I could put it in a jar, I guess.”

“Why don’t you look at it a little more and then let it go,” Penn said, rising to stand beside me. “It’s going to die if you keep it in there.”

Without hesitating Ruby unclenched her fist and shook the butterfly loose. “I’m going to see if I can catch a blue one!”

As Ruby skipped off, happily waving her net above her head, Penn turned to face me.

“You ran away?” The words seemed to pain him.

I lowered my gaze. I never meant to hurt him.

“Why?” he asked. “Why would you want to leave?”

I looked at the house. The windows reflected the midmorning sun, making it impossible to see inside. Was the congressman inside watching us?

Ours eyes met and I silently pleaded for him to understand. His face hardened and after a moment, he nodded. One nod, but it was enough.

At my side, the soft brush of his fingers grazed my own.

Twenty Four

I
t was late, well past midnight. Through my window, the empty pool looked like a dark hole in the ground. I was tucked in bed for the night, the chain coiled snake-like at the foot of the bed.

The inside of my wrist ached where the chain weighed heavily against my skin. The congressman had tried to line it with a piece of velvet to keep it from biting into me, but it didn’t really help. My wrist was raw and sore, a lot like my heart.

Across the room, the doorknob turned and I sat up against the pillows, pulling the covers up tight around my chest. Without any light in the little alcove it was difficult to make out the figure that lingered in the doorway. There was only bulk, the mass of a large body pushing through the dark. My heart sped up. This stupid chain around my wrist made me feel as vulnerable as one of Ruby’s trapped butterflies.

A moment later the figure stepped forward. The small amount of light shining in through the windows lit Penn’s worried face as he tiptoed closer to my bed.

“Ella,” he whispered. “Are you awake?”

I took a deep breath, trying to still my shaking body. “I hoped you would come.”

“How could I not?” he asked, sitting at the foot of my bed. “I’ve been staring out my window for the past hour. I kept thinking that I’d see you taking the path down to the garden, the way I used to, even though I knew you wouldn’t come…that you couldn’t.”

His gaze traveled down to the chain around my wrist and my free hand drifted unconsciously to the sore spot, rubbing it gently.

“Your dad would be furious if he knew you were here,” I said.

“I had to see you.” Penn scooted closer to me and picked up the chain. “I can’t believe he’d do this.” He dropped the metal as if it was something hot. “He has to know it’s wrong.”

“It’s my fault,” I said.

Penn’s eyes grew bigger. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

I shook my head. “Yes, it is. I should have known my place. I should have remembered what I am. A pet.”

Penn cringed, as if the word hurt him.

“They’re taking me back to the kennel tomorrow morning. They made an appointment…”

“No.” He shook his head. “
No
. This is bad enough, chaining you up like an animal or something, but getting you spayed is wrong. It’s
wrong
. My dad won’t go through with it.”

“They said it would keep me from running away again.” I dropped my face into my hands, unable to hold in the pain and fear anymore.

In a second, Penn was at my side. His warm arms wrapped tightly around my body, but feeling him there did nothing to ease the pain. If anything it deepened the ache inside me. Why did I have to feel this way about him? Why did I have to want him to hold me this way forever?

I sat up, wiping the tears away with the palm of my hand.

“Are you all right?”

I nodded and took one more long, shuddering breath.

“Good,” he said. His face was set, as if he’d come to some sort of resolve while I’d been crying. “Now we need to figure out how to get you out of here. I don’t know how long the drive is to Canada. Maybe seven hours? But I’m pretty sure if we leave now we can be pretty close before they figure out you’re gone. If we can get you to the border they’ll have to let you in. It’s asylum or something, they—”

“Penn.”

“—have to take you in because—”

“
Penn
!”

He stopped talking. Even in the dark I could see his features had come alive.

“You can’t help me run away,” I said. “It won’t work.”

“Yes, it will. I can you get away from this.”

I looked around the room at the beautiful furniture, the chandelier, the soft, welcoming bed. After what I’d seen in the city with Ms. Harper, did I really want to leave this? Maybe Missy was right, maybe I should make the best of what I had right now. If I could just give up my stupid desire to be one of them, I might actually be happy. We could all be happy. Even if it was for just a little while.

Penn followed my gaze. “It’s not worth it,” he whispered, holding up the chain that was attached to my wrist. “It’s a beautiful cage. But it’s still a cage. You deserve more than that.” He took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

He took me by the shoulders. Normally his strong hands would have been a comfort, but the look in his eyes frightened me. “Maybe I should have told you before, but it just didn’t seem right.” He paused. “But you need to know… You
deserve
to know. Our other pet…she wasn’t sick. That’s not why my dad sent her back.”

“But if she wasn’t…”

“She was pregnant, Ella.”

“Pregnant?”

“Yes. She was going to have a baby.”

No. No, no, no. That couldn’t be right. He must have misunderstood. “But—”

“It’s the reason my mom wanted to have you spayed.”

No.
I clamped a hand over my mouth, trying to push back the bile that rose in my throat. Not even Missy’s threats could have prepared me for what Penn was saying. How could something like that happen here? How could they
let
it? There would be no special care for a pet carrying a baby, no room at the kennel waiting to make her well. She’d be dragged straight through the red door, and they’d sent her back anyway.

I swallowed, shaking. “Who did it?”

Penn shook his head, his lips tightening, but he didn’t answer.

I clenched my hands. “Tell me!”

His eyes clouded. “My dad told us that it was one of the gardeners, but I don’t know. I’m not sure my mom ever really believed him. I’m not sure any of us did.”

I buried my face in my hands. This changed everything.
Ruined
everything. “I can’t go.”

“But you have to get out of here!”

“No. And not with you. Your father won’t forgive you for something like this. Who knows what he’ll do if he finds out.”

“Well, I can’t sit here and let him do this…or worse.” He ran his hands down my arms. Their warmth soaked deep into my bones. “We have to go. It’s not a question of maybe.”

My whole body trembled. “But it’s not that easy. Even if I got to Canada, I wouldn’t know what to do when I got there. I was raised to be a pet. It’s all I know how to be. I can’t even read.” My voice caught. “I can’t take care of myself.”

“That’s why I’m coming with you,” Penn said. “I’ll teach you. This isn’t who you are. It’s what they made you.”

“But you can’t just run away. You can’t leave your whole life behind. Everything is here. Please, think of all the things you’d be giving up: your family, your home, your money. If you stay here you can have a future. If you came with me you wouldn’t have anything.”

“I’d have you.”

The words were quiet, but clear. They made my head spin. And suddenly my chest expanded with hope. I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe he loved me.

“I don’t care about those other things,” he said. “Let my father keep it all for himself. I don’t want it.”

And then he was in front of me, so close I could smell the hint of mint on his breath and the soft, clean smell of his soap. He lifted his hands to my face, gently cupping my cheeks in his palms before he kissed me.

I closed my eyes and let go, leaning into the tender press of his mouth. I felt as weightless as a girl in a nighttime pond. Without fear, without question, I let myself float there, suspended as the whole world melted away. This was how it was supposed to be—the two of us.

I opened my eyes.

“Please. Please, go with me.”

I nodded. What else could I say but yes? I’d risk anything to feel that way again.

He smiled, pulling me into another kiss and the uncertainty of leaving blurred to a thin haze until all that I could see, or hear, or think, or feel, was him. He eased me back across the bed, his lips moving against mine, softly at first, and then with a desperation that matched my own.

When he finally pulled away, the dizzy world spun slowly back into place.

“Okay, we’ve got to think this through,” Penn said. “First we need to get this thing off of you.” He tugged at the chain where it was bolted to the bedpost. “I think we’ve got bolt cutters in the garage.”

Suddenly my stomach dropped. We’d forgotten something important.

“Penn,” I said, my hand touching the skin behind my ear. “There’s something else.”

“What is it?”

“My microchip.”

“Damn it.” He lifted his hand to my neck, running his thumb over the skin. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he said, nodding his head like he was trying to convince himself. “We just have to hope we get a good enough head start.”

“No,” I said. “You go find the bolt cutters. I’m going to get this out.”

“What do you mean ‘get it out’?” he whispered.

“It’s right below the skin. I can feel it. I’m going to cut it out. I’ll use a razor from the bathroom.”

Penn shook his head. “You can’t cut yourself.”

I clenched my hands, a cold wave of fear and power running through me at the same time. “I’m not going to sit here hoping things will work out for me. I have to do something. I want a chance…a chance for us, a chance to be together, a chance to be happy. I can do this.”

It was impossible for him to hide the worry on his face, but I could tell he was trying. “Okay. You get the chip out. I’m going to get the bolt cutters. I’ll throw a few things into the car and then I’ll be back here to get you. I won’t be long. I promise.”

He stood to go and then turned back around to give me one more quick kiss before he disappeared back into the shadows, pulling my door shut quietly behind him.

T
he chain reached into the bathroom, but just barely. As I stood in front of the mirror, my left arm was stretched out toward the bedroom, the metal cutting painfully into the already raw skin around my wrist. The razor was just out of reach. In the dark, I could barely make out where it sat on the edge of the claw-foot tub, the dark handle merely a slash against the white enamel.

I strained against the chain and my shoulder threatened to pull out of its socket. I was so close. So close. I could wait for Penn to get back with the bolt cutters, but I was afraid if I waited too long my courage would fail.

Balancing on one foot, I reached out with my other, hoping that if I tapped the razor with my toe it would fall forward onto the floor instead of down into the tub where it would be out of reach. My leg shook as I stretched it, straining as far as it could go. I only needed to reach a little farther. With a grunt, I pulled against the chain. It slipped ever so slightly, catching on the little bone jutting out at my wrist. My vision blurred for a second from the pain, but then my toe brushed against something plastic and the razor clattered to the tile floor. With one little kick I sent it skidding over next to me and I bent down to get it.

It didn’t take long to crack the plastic casing surrounding the blade, and in a moment I had it free, squeezed between the fingers of my right hand. I stepped closer to the mirror. My left arm stuck out behind me like a broken wing. It was almost impossible to make out my reflection in the dark, but I was afraid to turn on the light.

My hands shook as I lifted the razor to my neck. Already I felt faint. I had to be quick. Holding the blade between my thumb and second finger, I found the pea-sized bump of the microchip with my pointer finger. The thrumming of my pulse made my fingers bounce and I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself.

One cut, that was all I needed. Just one cut.

I pressed down on the blade, pushing against the microchip as if I was trying to cut it in half. I expected blinding pain, but there was only a sharp sting as the skin peeled apart. I fumbled with my fingers. A wet trickle ran down my arm as the tiny round capsule popped out and rolled across the counter, finally falling beneath the tub where it skidded to a stop. I couldn’t reach it but I didn’t care. It could sit there forever.

I reached for a towel and pressed it against the warm trickle that ran down my chin and the world started to spin. I turned around to face the bedroom as the darkness crowded out my vision, leaving the smallest pinprick of light before it all went black.