Perfecting the Odds (14 page)

“Are you sure because--”

Karis clutched the door. “Jennifer, next time please knock.” And then Karis tapped the woman’s head to remove it from her room, and closed the door loudly.

“
Damn, I didn’t think you could get any hotter. And I may be wrong, but you seem a bit…jealous.” he teased. If Karis lashed out at him, she would only confirm his assumption. Instead, she turned around and shrugged, hoping he would buy her pseudo indifference.

“Merely annoyed. The woman’s a nosey
twunt.” He furrowed his brow. “Think about it.” He laughed as she did. “I swear her students are stupider after taking her class.” His knowing expression said that he was fully aware of her reaction to Jennifer’s blatant visual flirting.
Bastard
.

“
Back to the situation at hand, Michael.” She said in her stern teacher voice. “You made me look like a
fool
in front of my colleagues and students.” He winced; she ignored it. “You shouldn’t have come here.
I
left your apartment. Deceit, manipulation, my being empty and unavailable. Any of that ringing a bell?” She tried to move past him to sit behind her desk, but he placed his palm over her belly, the firm but gentle pressure sent a hot throb straight to her lower lips. She stepped backward again. “So, now I’m your prisoner, Michael,” she asked quietly, immediately regretting the words. Resorting to whining? Shit, she could just tell him to leave in her usual tone, and he probably would. But she could she really bear to watch him walk away?

He studied her
, no doubt witnessing the series of internal battles fighting within her. His face softened, his hand rested on her hip. “No, Karis, I don’t want you to feel like you’re my prisoner.” The soul-deep sweetness of his voice captured her attention. “So…what do I think I’m doing, you asked?”

She nodded.
He stood and cupped her chin firmly in his hand.  “Even though you fail to admit it, we have something
I
cannot ignore. I’m here to fight for what we deserve. And you’re going to let me...because, sweetheart, you’re worth fighting for.”

Michael
had thrown down the gauntlet, gone in for the kill shot. She stood an inch from his beautiful face, her mouth gaping. His courage to fight for her and for their undeniable bond, kick-started her heart, the heart that sat broken in her chest for so long. For the first time in a long time, she felt like there was an inkling of chance, a chance for that void deep within her to begin healing. Rapid blinking did nothing for the imminent flood. Tears tumbled. She gripped the desk, and he caught her, forming a protective cage around her.

“Shit,
Karis, please don’t cry.”

She shook her head.
“No, it’s okay. Recently, I’ve emotionally regressed to a blubbering adolescent,” she confessed with a sob-laugh. She dashed away her tears, placed her hands on his chest, and forced her eyes to meet his. “You’re out of your mind to try and pursue this with me.” He frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off with a finger over his lips. “What I’ve been through. Who I’ve become...” She shuttered. Sometimes it felt like the anger running deeply within her was so vast, it had no choice to pour out and surround her, restlessly waiting until she called upon it. And recently, there was a constant humming, provoking her to allow it inside more and more. Who she’d become wasn’t entirely her fault. A series of unfortunate circumstances hardened her, but honestly, she allowed the change. Still, she couldn’t stand the fact that anger all but ruled her life. Robert experienced bits and pieces of it between deployments because he had to. But there was no way she could willingly invite someone to take on her bitterness full time.

“
Michael, you have no idea what you’d be getting yourself into. You’ve already given me so much compassion and kindness. I have nothing to give.
Nothing
. If you know what’s good for you, stop this. I’m trying not to sound callous and insensitive…but--.” She dropped her hands in defeat. Would the verbal vomit convince him?

M-kay, guess not
. His pissed-off expression fascinated her for a moment, made her wonder if that’s how she looked all the time. He cupped her jaw firmly with both hands now.

“
You don’t get to tell me I don’t want you.” After a muttered curse, his mouth took hers so fiercely, her back struck the bookshelf behind them, echoing a thud throughout the vacant room. His large hands moved quickly to cushion the back of her head, roughly twisting around her hair. Oh, hell no. She kept her mouth sealed, shaking her head to try and release him.

“
No more fighting, Karis.” He exhaled the words hard against her mouth. Then he nipped her bottom lip hard, prompting her lips to part with a gasp. His mouth slanted firmly over hers as his tongue assaulted her mouth. He groaned low when she matched his hunger, spurring the boiling lust within her. She wrapped her hands around his neck and melted into him without a care about where she was. Karis’s anger evaporated, extinguished with his touch, doused by his intoxicating mouth. And without ire, her body felt weightless, her mind lucid. And it was so refreshing, fresh tears of relief tumbled.

Her lips pulsing and swollen, almost numb, s
he finally unlocked her mouth from his. “Jesus, Michael,” she rasped and swiped the tears. His name, a declaration, as if by voicing it, she was attempting to convince her mind to form the same bond her body had already made. Her eyes flickered open. “Why aren’t you already married?” The man had to have a flaw. Karis was no more special than anyone else. And, for chriminy sake, she was old-ish…and widowed…and had children. What hot-blooded single male wanted that?

He
slowed his own breath and then tilted his head. “I am, to four other women. You’ll be the fifth and final one. Thank
god
because my stamina may be top notch, but some days, I tell you, it’s flat-out exhausting.” Her mouth dropped open. He chuckled and ran a finger down her nose gently.

“
Lord, Michael!” She bit her lip at her next thought. She smirked inwardly. So he wanted to play games? “I mean, I’m not into sharing with women, but if you have a brother, I’m not gonna lie, I’d strongly consider—.” He stopped laughing immediately, and she let it go a split second longer before winking at him.

“You’re
a naughty thing, aren’t you, Karis.”
Only around you,
she thought inwardly. She stared coyly up at him. She loved when they teased and matched wits. Fun, fun, fun. Just as he began to bring his mouth to hers again, she pressed two fingers to his mouth.

“
Can we be serious for two seconds?” To his own credit, he’d admitted to juvenile tendencies, and she’d just goaded him. He nodded as his face sobered and stroked his knuckles down her cheek. Damn him.

“
No marriage, but I dated handfuls of other women, and they never compared to you.” She studied his eyes, searching for the facetiousness, the pretense, but those eyes penetrated hers with undeniable truth. She sighed loudly, knowing she was losing herself to him. And then she couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy brewing again.

Other women? Handfuls! Did she really expect him to stay celibate for a mystery widow? Would have been nice, but she wasn’t an idiot and refused to allow the jealousy to further cloud her opinion of him. As if reading her mind, he shrugged. “They were a way to pass time,
and
they allowed me to discover how much I wanted you, Karis.”

So, he was human after all
. Karis furrowed her brow, attempting a genuine look of disgust. “Crossword puzzles, reading, fishing. Those are ways to pass time. You screwed women to ‘pass time’? How very noble of you.”

He
chuckled and shrugged, unfazed by her tone. “Did nothing except alleviate some tension.” He waved it aimlessly as if to mimic the women flitting in and out of his bed.
What about my tension,
she whined inwardly.

“
Handfuls? Just how many hands do you have, Michael Finn?”

He threw his head back and laughed before asking,
“Does the number really matter?”

“To most women, the number
absolutely matters.” But Karis had no frickin’ idea if it mattered, considering her number was, like, two. Wow, how lame was that? And Eve didn’t act like she cared about the men she dated, so this question was pure curiosity, genuine interest about Michael’s sexual prowess.

“
I’ll humor you. About 20, maybe 25.”

“
You’ve dipped your stick in twenty-five orifices!”

“
Well, uh yes, in the last three years, and I’m not sure all of them were
dates
, per say,” he said and winced.

Karis
’s mouth dropped open. She tapped his chin playfully and said as sweetly as possible, “You’re a man-whore, Michael.” His infectious laughter filled the room, a lovely cadence even Karis couldn’t help but join. How she missed laughing like this.

“And Karis?” She lifted her brows. “Women have more than one orifi—“

“Don’t you dare say it, Michael,” she said through her laughter.

Soon
the teasing dwindled to a lazy silence. Karis sat on a desk across from him. Tracing patterns along the desktop, she asked quietly, “So what if I said I
dated
twenty men over the last few years ‘to pass time’?”

Visibly
taken aback, he scowled. “You didn’t.”

She l
ifted her nose in the air. “It is really none of your business who I did or did not
do
. I have needs, too, you know.”

His jaw
clenched, prompting her smirk. “No, it’s not my business...but I would have to find and beat the shit out of each and every one of them. You should have called
me
. I would have taken care of your needs…fully and many times over.” He wagged his eyebrows, although his eyes remained anxious.

Karis
flung her hands in the air. “Really, Michael? Call you at which number? 1-800-Sexy-Guy-I-Met-At-The-Bar? And I should be completely freaked out by how possessive you are.”
But I’m not
, she thought.
And damn if it doesn’t make me want him more. I bet he’d beat the shit out of those nonexistent guys with his shirt off…all sweaty, huge muscles twitching, fists flying.
A new wave of wet heat flooded her body, and she blushed. “But don’t you worry, Professor, I haven’t slept with anyone in years, and your number far exceeds mine, so harness your fists of steel.”

He grinned
roguishly as he stepped closer. “I’d be a perfect gentleman with you, Karis.”

She rolled her eyes.
She had to. Her mind was conjuring sordid, kinky images of the many positions and locations Michael could take her.

“I’m
sure
you would.”

Michael jerked, as if her words
literally struck him. “Is that a challenge, Karis Bennett? I’ve waited three years to show you, and mark my words, if you give me a chance, I promise to make this worth your while, sweetheart.”

“Michael
,” she said, allowing a loud whoosh of air escape. “Teasing is fine…but when you say things like that--.” She placed her hand on over her heart.

“What’s wrong?”

“I feel like I’m breaking wide open, and…I’m afraid that you’ll hate what you see, what you’ve already seen.
I
hate what I see, for goddsake. I have so much shittiness in my past.” She shook her head as he opened his mouth to speak. “You know, we hardly know each other. We’re two conversations beyond strangers; that’s it.”

He shook his head.
“We’re more than that and you know it.”

She cleared her throat
before looking down. He did know a lot about her. Her husband, her children, her fears and mistakes. Most of the other stuff was just superficial bullshit. But there was more, much more baggage.

How much could he take?

And what would it hurt to let some of that goodness into her life just for a little while?

She took one more cleansing breath as his eyes glimmered with so much hope. “Sometimes I think you’re too good to be true.”  She willed herself to meet his eyes dead on. “Ready for some good ol’ Karis honesty?” He nodded and smiled sweetly. Problem was, she didn’t know if she was. “I thought about you all the time…so much so that I figured you were just a figment of my imagination… that I conjured you so I could to deal with life.  I know it sounds weird, but I likened you to Apollo…without the whole chariot of fire thing.” He chuckled and began a soft ebb and flow down her back. “But that you’re like a bright light that floats in and out of my life when I’m most vulnerable. I can’t hold back when you’re around…you literally pull the damn truth from me, and it wasn’t that I hated that you did that…I was more worried about how you’d handle all the ugliness that came out of me.” She cleared her throat to cut the seriousness of her words. “I also compared you to Adonis, but that’s for another day.” Her mouth curved up a bit, and he grinned. “You scare the hell out of me…how masculine and resolute you are.” She shut her eyes and took one more breath as to prepare for the dive of a lifetime. True, this was the deep end, breaking the proverbial testing the depth of water with both feet. “I can’t promise you anything, not time or stability or commitment--nothing. But, I’ll call your bluff. Maybe you’re just the kind of good I need right now because I have to tell you, I’m angry and sad and lonely, and I’m so goddamn sick of it. But I’ll warn you. I’m stubborn and scarred. There are things about me that you don’t know. Some will likely having you running for the hills. You know I have children, like two, right?” She wrinkled her nose.