Perfekt Order (The Ære Saga Book 1) (27 page)

“Trouble in paradise? Last time we talked,
things were good. In fact, I believe a certain little sister of
mine was asking me how soon was too soon to do the deed.” I could
practically see Jason’s eyebrows waggling through the phone.

“Jason! I did
not
ask you that.” I
would never ask my brother that question… but I might have hinted
at it.

“Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know
that’s where you’re heading, if you’re not there already. And if
you’re there already, I don’t want to know. Because then I’d have
to come and kill the dude.”

“Ew. I am not having this conversation with
my brother.” I shuddered.

“In that case, what was your disagreement
about?”

I chose my words very carefully. “He kind of
kept a big secret from me about his life back home. He didn’t lie;
he just omitted something kind of important. And I’m not sure how I
feel about it.”

“Do you want me to come kick his ass, or do
you want relationship advice?”

“Definitely the latter. Depending on how it
works out, maybe the former too.” I smiled. Jason always had my
back.

“Huh.” Jason paused. It was a testament to
his Yankee-Southern manners that he didn’t ask me to share Tyr’s
secret, though he did have to cover his brotherly bases. “Is the
secret something that would hurt you?”

I paused to consider that.
Would it?
“No,” I decided, truthfully. “If anything, it’s going to make sure
I’m always safe.” From everything. Ever. Unless one of the monsters
got to me. Then I’d be dead.

“Is the secret something that requires you to
compromise your morals? I assume he’s not asking you to join him in
a life of crime or something, or you’d be running the other
way.”

Tyr was wrapped up in a life of crime, all
right, but he was the one fighting it. “Don’t worry. My morals are
intact.”

“Hmm. Is it something that changes the way
you feel about him? Does it fundamentally affect what you know of
his character? Because last I checked, you were halfway to falling
in love with this guy. A little soon for my tastes, but you’re a
girl. I forgive you.”

I sighed. “I’m not in love with him. Not yet.
But yeah, I could see it getting there someday. And the secret
doesn’t exactly change his character, but it does change how I see
him. Not in a good or a bad way, it’s just different.”
So very
different
.

“Got it.” Jason sighed. “Listen, Mees, it
sucks the guy kept something from you, but if it’s not a bad
secret, he probably had a reason for waiting until now to tell you.
And if the secret doesn’t change how you feel about him, I say live
a little.”

“That’s your advice for everything.”

“That’s my advice for everything
with
you
. Life’s short, Mia. You only get one shot at it, and you
only get one shot at being young, too. This is the time to make
those impetuous decisions. Stop notebooking this—”

“What?” I asked.

“Notebooking this. Don’t try to tell me you
don’t have at least half a notebook filled with pros and cons of
whether to drop the guy over this.”

“I filled three-quarters of one since he told
me his secret,” I admitted.

Jason laughed. “Well, stop. You’ve sounded
really into Tree—”

“Tyr,” I corrected again.

“—really into Tyr for months. Throw the
notebook away and follow your gut on this one. You’re smart. Your
instincts won’t steer you wrong.”

“That simple, huh?”

“Yep. But remember if he hurts you, I’ll come
straight out there and end him.”

“I love you, Jase.” I smiled.

“I love you, Sis. I’ve got a date, otherwise
I could talk longer. You okay?” he asked.

“I will be. Go have fun. Bye.”

“Bye.” Jason hung up.

I dropped my head into my hands. I’d done
everything I could think of to make an informed decision about
whether or not to stay with Tyr. I’d filled a quarter of a notebook
with pro and con lists, another quarter with all of the “
what
ifs
” I’d come up with while I
wasn’t
sleeping, and had a
third section containing potential solutions to our human/god
dating quandary. But I was as confused as I’d felt when I saw Tyr
fly. Nothing good ever came from making an emotional decision, and
clearly I couldn’t rationalize my way through this one. Maybe more
facts were necessary. And if that didn’t help, a cup of coffee
would be nice.

I picked up my phone and called Tyr.

“
Hei hei
.” He answered on the first
ring.

“Hi. Can you come over? And bring
coffee?”

“I’ll be there in ten.” His voice sounded
scratchy, as if he was as exhausted as I was. Well, good. If I had
to lose sleep over this situation, he could too.

Of course, he probably didn’t have the thick
purple bags under his eyes that I did. Being a god sure had its
perks.

When Tyr pulled up to Daffodil Drive, I was
already sitting on the porch steps, a fresh coat of concealer
masking my purple raccoon rings. Tyr got out of his car carrying
two cups of coffee, and walked in clipped strides up our path. His
hair was out of place, his jaw looked tense, and I noticed small
lines around his eyes. “
Hei
.” He held out a cup at arm’s
length.

“Thanks.” I took the liquid caffeine, and
patted the stair next to me. “Have a seat.”

Tyr sat stiffly, his back straight as he
lowered himself onto the step. He stretched out his long legs and
stayed unnaturally still.

“I’m not afraid of you.” I rolled my eyes.
“You can move.”

“I just don’t want to overwhelm you.” Tyr
leaned over and brushed his lips against my hair.

“I’m pretty sure we passed the
overwhelm
point somewhere between ‘
I’m a god’
and
‘
the monsters of the underworld want me dead. ’
But thanks
for thinking of me.”

“Mia—” Tyr’s voice broke.

“Wait. Before I decide whether this is a life
I can sign up for—for however long—I have to ask you a few
questions.”

“Shoot.” Anxiety colored his tone.

I took a sip of my coffee and glanced down at
my notebook. It was filled with pages of worries, and I opened my
mouth to recite the first one. But then I looked at the guy sitting
next to me. Large hands gripped his cup so tightly it looked as if
it was about to explode and send hot coffee flying everywhere.
Ramrod straight posture was compromised by the elbow bouncing
almost unnoticeably at his side. His jaw was locked down so hard, I
was surprised I couldn’t hear his teeth grinding. He hadn’t called
me since last night—he’d given me the space I’d asked for. But it
was adorably obvious he was as stressed out about my decision as I
was.

I closed my notebook and pushed it aside.

“Okay.” I turned toward Tyr so our knees were
touching. “Number one. Is there anything else you’re keeping from
me? And do you plan to keep secrets from me in the future?”

“No,” Tyr answered quickly. “I mean, there
are lots of things about Asgard I haven’t explained to you yet, but
I’ll answer any questions you have. I promise.”

“You better. I’m someone who requires
all
the facts before making an informed decision.”

To his credit, Tyr did not smile. He simply
responded, “I understand.”

“Brynn said something last night about there
being a lot of darkness inside you. What was she talking about?” I
clenched my coffee cup.

“Do we have to get into this?” Tyr ground his
jaw.

“Yes.”

“All right. I’m not pure Asgardian, like the
rest of my colleagues. I have giant blood in me.” Tyr watched me
carefully. “It means my temper isn’t as mild as the rest of the
Aesir, and occasionally I struggle to stay on the side of the
light. We can talk more about it if you want to, but the short
story is that my family tree is crooked. It’s not something I’m
proud of.”

Well, that sure accounted for the broad
shoulders. And the height.
Cheese and crackers
. He was a god
and
a giant. Could this relationship get any stranger?

Follow your gut.
Jason’s advice echoed
in my head. Did I believe Tyr was a good man—er, god?
Yes.
Then what did it matter if he was a god/giant, or the tooth fairy?
He was giving me total honesty, bizarre as it was, and the least I
could give him back was an open mind.

“Fair enough. Number two. If we do proceed,
and if we end up staying together for a while, how are we going to
deal with our age difference? Obviously I’m going to age at the
normal human rate. And you’re going to age at… one fiftieth of that
rate? So in twenty years I’ll look thirty-eight, but you’re still
going to look like you’re in college.” I waited.

“I thought about that last night.” Tyr leaned
forward slightly. “I’m going to like the way you look at every age,
but I understand you might feel weird being with a twenty-year-old
when you’re fifty. Or eighty.”

“Eighty?” Shut the front door, he wanted to
be with me that long?

“Just working through scenarios,” Tyr
explained. “Odin would have to sign off on it, but there might be
magical options we could use to keep you at your current
appearance, if that’s something you want to do. Our Goddess of
Wisdom, Idunn, has apples that give us our immortality. If she
adapted the formula for human use, they should be able to mitigate
mortal aging processes. Or Odin might have a spell to keep you from
aging beyond a certain point. He’s manipulated human genetics
before; I’m fairly positive it’s within the realm of his powers to
do this kind of thing.”

I shivered. These waters were so deep, I
needed two life preservers. “Okay. So we have options. We can
discuss them later. Number three.” I paused. “Do you
want
to
be with me?”

Tyr took our coffees and set them on the
ground, held my hands between his, and met my eyes with a look that
made me forget my notebook filled with concerns.

“Yes, Mia. I want to be with you.”

“Why?” I pressed. “You can be with
anyone—god, elf, fairy princess, whatever. Why did you choose me?”
I wasn’t fishing for compliments. It literally made zero sense that
this six-and-a-half-foot Swedish—correction,
Asgardian—
dreamboat would waltz down from his cloud, look
around Earth and say to himself,
That brunette over there. Mia
Ahlström—she’d be a great gal pal while I’m on vacation. I’ll ask
her out.
I mean, I was a great catch, but there had to be a
whole lot of attractive options when you had the
whole entire
cosmos
at your disposal.

“Oh, Mia.” Tyr sighed. “Why not you?”

“Seriously?”

“Believe me, if I could stay away I would.”
Tyr held my gaze.

“Gee, thanks.”

“You misunderstand. I never meant for you to
get mixed up in all this. Fenrir hurts the people I care about—and
they’re immortal. Can you imagine what he could do to a human? When
he attacked you in the woods, I thought it was an unfortunate
coincidence; you weren’t someone I cared about, or even knew, and
so I figured once you recovered from your injuries you’d be
safe.”

“Huh.”

“Hear me out. You didn’t mean anything to me
the day you were attacked. I didn’t know Freya led me to you until
after
we met at that party. I didn’t plan to talk to you
that night, but Brynn made sure I didn’t have a choice. And once we
started talking, I realized I actually liked you. I tried ignoring
you, partly because I was ticked that Freya butted into my personal
life again, and partly because I didn’t want you getting involved
in all the crazy, but we can see how well that worked out.” Tyr
shrugged. “And then you showed up at Elsa’s cabin and turned my
world on its head.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Tyr paused. “I’ve always sorted my life into
neat compartments, and that day you barged in and knocked them all
on their sides. Suddenly, my work life was mixed in with my
personal baggage, and instead of hating it like I always thought I
would, I was happy because… well, because I had somebody to share
that part of my world with. Somebody I could actually be vulnerable
around. It was the first time I’d ever let my guard down and shared
that… that pain… with someone I cared about.” Tyr drew a shaky
breath. “I liked letting you see that side of me. It made me feel
like I wasn’t all alone.”

“You’re not all alone. You have Henrik and
Brynn. And Freya,” I pointed out.

“True. But technically I’m Henrik and Brynn’s
boss. I try not to get overly emotional around them. And Freya and
I talk about surface things. She might be one of my oldest friends,
but I’m not one of those guys who wants to talk about what’s
bothering him. Or I wasn’t, before I met you.”

My cheeks warmed. “I’m glad you want to talk
to me,” I admitted.

“Me too.” Tyr leaned forward to brush my
forehead with his lips.

“I obviously like you. And I don’t think I
could break up with you, even if I wanted to. But dang it Tyr, this
is complicated. How is this going to work? Is this even allowed
where you come from?” I gestured between us. “This can’t be
natural.”

“It’s as natural as we want it to be, baby.”
Tyr waggled his eyebrows and I groaned.

“You know what I mean.”

“We’re not the typical couple, true. And this
isn’t exactly encouraged back home. Odin doesn’t promote
inter-realm cohabitation. But he lets me have a little more
leniency than most of the council.” Tyr stroked my hand with his
thumb. “And I’m certainly not going to let a little thing like you
being from another realm stop me from seeing where this goes. That
is, if you want to take a leap with me.”

If you want to take a leap with me.
The world was spinning. And underwater. The world was spinning
underwater. While upside down.

Breathe, Mia.